Sebastian - Secrets (20 page)

17

Christmas morning has dawned.  It’s a magical vista from the house this morning - it’s a bright crisp day, a heavy overnight frost glistens across the expansive grounds, a scattering of deer stand majestically, like reindeer, across the paddocks. 

I wake a sleepy Bella at nine, by which time Joe is excited enough to combust.  Scarlett is already busily peeling vegetables, by the time we all gather in the kitchen.  She and I work together, preparing breakfast of smoked salmon and deliciously creamy scrambled eggs.  Neither of us mentions our altercation, and she is particularly friendly toward me it seems.  Certain that her motives are disingenuous I remain cautious, but refuse to allow her to dampen my high spirits.  We all breakfast together, seated around the kitchen table, the children guessing what their gifts may be.  I feel more excited than the children.  Even when they were tiny, I would be the first to wake - banging noisily about the house to wake the children so that we could open our presents.  Alan was never one for Christmas  preferring to slope off to the pub for a late morning whisky than to share in the festivities.

The Christmas tree which Sebastian bought yesterday gives off a wonderful
ly fragrant pine scent and the tiny coloured lights twinkle on its’ branches.  At the base of the tree, which sits next to the fireplace in the great hall, is a small mountain of brightly wrapped gifts.  I have placed my gifts to Sebastian and the children at the back of the pile, so that the children don’t snoop.

Scarlett has already put the enormous free-range turkey into the range to slowly roast and the aroma from the kitchen is divine. 

Mother calls after breakfast and the children and I chat excitedly to her
, and end the call wishing her and my aunt a very merry Christmas.  I tell her I miss her dreadfully but that we are all having a wonderful time.  I make a mental note to spoil her next year to make up for being absent this holiday season. 

Next I call Ruth
, who is bursting with questions as to how Sebastian and I are getting along.  It’s difficult to talk openly as the children are beside me but I tell her everything is wonderful and we exchange festive wishes.  When I end the call I pass the phone to Bella and ask her to call her father. 

Alan is spending Christmas with Mike
. I feel incredibly guilty that our family is apart this year, and wonder how he is coping without the children today, it must be painful for him.  He answers his phone immediately and he and Bella chat for a few minutes before she passes the phone to Joe. 

Alan is obviously quizzing Joe to ascertain where we are,
and who with, but Joe is far too keen to get on with present opening to talk for long and he thrusts the phone to me before running off to the great hall.

“Merry Christmas Alan,” I say
cheerily.  “The kids are fine and having a great time.”  I can hear the hatred in his voice as he replies curtly, informing me that he has nothing to say to me other than he wishes to collect the children on the twenty seventh of December, which is typical of Alan.  I had already agreed with him that Bella and Joe would be with me until New Year’s Eve but there’s little point antagonising him more.  It means that I will have to curtail my wonderful break with Sebastian, but it really would anger Alan if he knew the children and I were here with another man.  As far as Alan is concerned we are staying with Ruth for Christmas and I have already primed the children to back up that story, terrible though it is to make them lie.  Not that it’s any of Alan’s concern but I want the divorce to go smoothly and uncontested. 

My life is stressful enough plus I want to avoid expensive lawyers’ fees.  Alan ends the call having gained agreement that I he will collect the children at four o’clock on the twenty-seventh.

Sebastian is clearly disappointed that we will be leaving early but we agree not to let it spoil a wonderful Christmas Day.  We open our presents by the fire in the morning room, where Joe has placed small piles of gifts and tells us where to sit, next to our respective present pile.  It’s such a beautiful room, with golden yellow silk walls and drapes of matching yellow silk, embroidered with Chinese flowers and birds.   Small gold glitter reindeer thread along the mantel and a huge bowl of glitter encrusted fir cones stands by the fireside, with tiny twinkling white lights twisted around each cone.

Joe and Bella are delighted with their gifts.  Sebastian gives Joe a remote controlled car, which is soon whizzing around the vast floors of the hallways.  Bella unwraps an expensive new outfit by a London designer.  Scarlett picked it out online, she tells Bella.  Don’t let it wind you up, Beth, I tell myself.

Sebastian places a long flat, red velvet box in my hands.  Opening it slowly, I squeal with delight at the beautiful gold watch within.

“Sebastian!” I gasp. “I
t’s too much.”

“Nonsense,” he replies.  “Nothing is too much for my girl.”  He places the delicate timepiece on my left wrist and closes the clasp.
  It’s an exquisite Cartier timepiece with a circlet of diamonds framing the dial.  It must have cost a small fortune.  He grins like a schoolboy, clearly delighted with my reaction to his generous gift.

“Thank you darling.  I adore it and will wear it always.
”  I kiss him hard on his mouth until the children cry “ewww, put him down.”

Placing a small black box in his hand, I whisper “merry Christmas darling Sebastian.”  His eyes light up brighter than the Christmas tree and I picture him, here in this room as a boy on Christmas Day.  I wonder if he was as happy then, as he seems now.  Opening the box, he breathes “wow” as he slips the silver cufflinks into his palm.

“See the engraving?” I ask, pointing at the intricately turned letter engraved on each of the circular discs.  “S and E.  Do you see the tiny heart entwined under each of the letters?”

“I do, darling.  Thank you, I will treasure them.”  We gross the children out again with our kisses.

Present opening complete, we feast on turkey and all the trimmings at the sumptuously laid table in the great hall, and Scarlett joins us, which perturbs me, but she’s good company although laughing a little too raucously at Sebastian’s jokes, and she chatting animatedly with Bella about fashion and music. 

The afternoon is spent playing parlour games and it’s refreshingly wonderful to see the children laughing.   Sebastian is the perfect host and, later as we curl up in bed after midnight, I feel content.

“Have you had a good Christmas Mrs. Dove?” he asks.

“In the circumstances, yes thank you.  It’s been wonderful,” I kiss his cheek.

“Are we ok?” he asks tentatively.

“We have a lot of issues to overcome, Sebastian.  I don’t want to spoil today though.” He strokes my hair.

“Hey, I have another Christmas present for you.”

“But you’ve given me the beautiful watch,” I protest.

  He reaches to the nightstand and pulls open the drawer, taking a small black velvet box tied with gold ribbon, and places it in my hand.  Enthralled, I eagerly pull the ribbon and open the box.  Inside is a breath
-taking ring of platinum with two tiny hearts entwined, a sapphire at the centre of each heart, which are the palest blue like glacial ice.  Sebastian takes it from the box and places it on the ring finger of my right hand.

“Sebastian, it’s beautiful
.  We both gave each other hearts,” I gasp.

“It’s not a match for your beauty, darling.  The
blue of the sapphires is the palest and rarest - the colour of your eyes.”  Those blue eyes are filled with tears.

“This is the nicest thing
anyone has ever done for me - the most precious gift, thank you.”

“You are mine Elizabeth,” he breathes.  “Always mine and only mine.”

“Yes, always yours.  This means so much to me Sebastian.” A tear rolls down my cheek, and Sebastian brushes it away with tenderly.

As I admire the beautiful ring, Sebastian moves the hair from my neck and plants feather light kisses from my earlobe to my shoulder.  As tremors course through my body, I give myself to him completely.

It’
s time to leave and, with a heavy heart, I call the children while Sebastian puts our cases in the trunk. 

He pulls me into his arms and we kiss deeply, passionately.  I can feel
hot tears prick my eyes and I don’t want to go.  I am going to miss Sebastian and Penmorrow – but I don’t anticipate missing Scarlett, I do hate leaving them both alone together.  A knot of pain forms in my stomach.

“Don’t cry Elizabeth.  It’s been truly
wonderful having you and the children here.  It feels as though you belong here… come back to me soon won’t you?” he wipes my tears away and his eyes crinkle with an adoring smile.  I kiss him lightly and force a smile in return.

“You won’t be able to stop me!  I’ve so loved being with you Sebastian… I miss you already!” 

The children come running out of the house across the gravel driveway and Joe throws his arms around Sebastian who sweeps him up and spins him around before tussling his hair.

“Hey big guy.” Sebastian looks down at Joe. “ You look after your old mum ok?”

“Not so much of the old,” I protest. 

Sebastian turns to Bella who seems to have really taken to him, which is rare for my moody teenage daughter. 
              He clutches her in a tight embrace and kisses her forehead affectionately and she blushes. 

“Bella Belle,” he sighs tenderly.  “Remember to watch that smart mouth of yours young lady and I hope to see you again really soon,” he says. 

“Yeh, whatever,” she laughs and as she gets into the car she blows him a kiss and another for Scarlett who has joined Sebastian to say farewell.

“Drive safely darling,” he tells me.  “Call me when you get home and I’ll try and drive up next week.  Oh and happy New Year!  I’m sure next year will be your year.”  He kisses me again and after hugging Scarlett, I get into the car and we set off down the tree-lined drive. 

I can see Scarlett and Sebastian waving and feel a twinge of jealousy at the closeness they share, the knot tightens in my stomach.  I have a long journey ahead and enough time to dwell on this but also to consider how refreshingly different Sebastian is and how much I adore him already.  Plus the sex is incredible; I had no idea what a whore I could be!

18

Bella is in a cantankerous mood today.  She’s adamant that she does not want to go to stay with Alan at Mike’s house and I’m losing patience with her.

“You are going and that’s that!” I exclaim.  “Remember, your father hasn’t seen you since before Christmas and try and give some thought for others Bella instead of yourself.”

“Get lost Mum.  If he wasn’t such a bloody loser he’d still be living here!”  I slap her face.  She catches her breath and puts her hand to her reddening cheek, her eyes brimming with hot tears. 

“I HATE you,” she screams as she runs out of the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time.  She slams her bedroom door behind her. 

I switch on the kettle, still fuming but feeling gui
lty for striking her.  I haven’t hit her since she was three, and that was a tap on the back of her legs when she threw a terracotta flowerpot at me.  She’s always been feisty – takes after me, Alan always said. 

Taking my steaming coffee into the lounge, I check Joe’s bag again to make sure he has enough clothes for his stay with Alan.  I call up to him to bring down his trainers and another pair of socks and hear one of the children running down the stairs. 

As I reach the door to the hallway I see Bella, coat on and bag slung over her shoulder, heading toward the front door.

“Where the hell are you going?” I demand.

“I’m going to stay with Chloe from school.  It’s all arranged and you can’t stop me.  I’ve got my phone and money and I’ll be back the day after tomorrow,” and she slams out of the front door before I can protest or stop her.  I throw open the door but she’s sprinting up the road and disappears around the corner and I know I have to let her go.  I text her immediately and tell her I am sorry for slapping her, I love her and ask her to text me when she gets to Chloe’s house which I recall is only half a mile away.  She doesn’t reply.

Alan arrives thirty minutes late
, and Joe is pacing the hall impatiently waiting for his father.  Alan pushes past me and enters the house and I can smell whisky on his breath.

“Hello Alan.  Did you have a nice Christmas?” I foolishly ask.

“Bloody great,” he replies sarcastically.  “C’mon Joe, get your bag son.  Where’s Bella?”

“She’s gone off to stay with Chloe, sorry but you know how she can be.  You… you’ve been drinking Alan.  I don’t think you should be driving, especially with Joe.” 

He looks contemptuously at me, although I notice his eyes don’t focus on mine properly.  How much has the man drunk?  I feel panicky, sure now that I don’t want Joe in a car with him while he is clearly smashed. 

“Look, I’ll make you a coffee.  Stay and have a bite to eat and then leave a little later,” I suggest.  His face is full of loathing and his speech is a little slurred I notice.