Seb (10 page)

It was silly, but his words touched me. I’d never wanted to be loved for the packaging. I wanted a man who would look past what he saw and fall in love with my heart and soul. I wondered if Seb could be that man for me. It was way too soon to think about the future, but men like Seb incited fantasises without even realizing it.

“Seeing you with your uncle and Mrs. R tonight just confirmed what I already suspected,” he said.

“Which is?”

“Family means everything to you. And while Mrs. R may not be your family, you treat her like she is, and I love that.”

I smiled when we linked hands as he led me back inside. “My sister-in-law’s mother is kind of like a surrogate mother to us all, and she reminds me a lot of Mrs. R. Just the right mixture of strong and sweet. I think you’d really like Mary.” Even though the prospect was slightly intimidating, I wanted to meet the people in his life too, just as he’d met the most important people in mine. “Is it kind of crazy that we’re already meeting each other’s families, or at least talking about it?”

We sat on the couch in his large, cozy family room and faced each other, just as we had the night before. This time we sat with barely an inch between us though.

“I don’t know. Does it feel weird to you, like maybe we’re rushing things?” he asked, gliding his hand over my hair. “Because the last thing I want to do is pressure you.”

“I don’t feel pressured.” I kissed him. “I feel happy.”

I hadn’t realized until I said that how long it had been since I’d felt truly happy. My uncle had been diagnosed almost two years ago, and ever since then, our lives had revolved around his condition: medication, doctors’ appointments, managing the expenses, and just trying to figure out how to cope.

“I’m glad.” He smiled as though he understood how much those two little words meant after some of the experiences I’d had. His hand was still holding mine, and I could almost feel his pulse in his warm, strong hand. “I like making you laugh, seeing you smile. It makes me feel good.”

I was almost afraid to break the intimate cocoon that seemed to be surrounding us, but I had to know. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“What did you say to my uncle before dinner? When you guys came inside, he seemed like a different person. I haven’t seen him like this since… well, since before he got the diagnosis.” It pained me to say it, but it was true.

His hand was still skimming the top of my head, soothing me to the point my eyes could have easily drifted closed. “I guess I just reminded him that time is precious and he should make the most of whatever time he has left with you. I encouraged him to be grateful instead of feeling guilty.”

I was mortified when tears filled my eyes, so I leaned in close to hide my emotions. “Thank you.” I’d been telling my uncle not to feel guilty, but my words had fallen on deaf ears. It obviously took a stranger whose opinion he valued to set him straight.

“Hey,” he said, gripping my shoulders as he put some distance between us, “listen to me. I know you feel like you’re in this alone, but you’re not. You have Mrs. R, and now you have me. Lean on me whenever you need to, Skylar.”

Oh God, falling for this man would be so easy. I wanted to count on having his strong shoulder to lean on, but there was so much I didn’t know about him, like what had happened to make him so gun-shy about dating.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

He grinned. “If you’re going to ask me how many women I’ve slept with—”

Blushing, I set my hand against his mouth. I definitely did not need to know that. Ever. “I wasn’t. I was just going to ask what happened with your last girlfriend. You seem pretty bitter about it and…”

His expression hardened as my hand slipped away from his face, and I wondered if I was pushing too hard too soon.

“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “Forget I asked. It’s none of my business.”

“Let’s just say she wasn’t the person I thought she was.”

A little voice in my head screamed at me to let it go, but I couldn’t. “Was it serious?”

He shrugged. “I thought maybe it could have been eventually. I’m not getting any younger. I’m tired of the dating scene, and I guess I feel I’m ready to settle down. Before I met Amy, I’d stopped looking for the good-time girls. I’d started looking for real women with substance who wanted the same things I did.”

It was silly, but hearing him say her name made her more real for me. I couldn’t help wondering about who she was now: what she looked and sounded like, what she did for a living, whether she still had feelings for him. “And you thought you found that with her?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess that’s why it hit me so hard when I found out…” He clenched his jaw before curling his hand around my knee as though he needed the physical connection to feel grounded. “That she was just after my money.”

“I’m sorry.” I wrapped my hands around his gorgeous face, bringing his attention back to me. “She was an idiot not to see what’s so obvious to me. You’re an amazing guy, and you would be whether you had a dime to your name or not.”

He closed his eyes only briefly enough for me to know my words had hit their mark. He’d clearly been waiting for a woman to tell him his money and success had no bearing on who he was as a man or what he brought to a relationship.

“Just because she wanted to take advantage of you doesn’t mean all women are like that. I know it’s hard to trust. It’s hard for me too—”

“It’s not hard with you.” He closed his hands over mine, drawing them away from his face. “I can’t explain it, but I just feel this…. connection with you.”

I felt it too. I had from the second I’d laid eyes on him. I couldn’t find the words to describe it, but I needed him to know I felt it too. “I know what you mean.”

“So where do we go from here?” he asked, seeming almost nervous at the prospect of pressuring me for answers.

I kissed him. Taking the initiative like that was unprecedented for me, but something told me a part of Seb still needed to heal and needed reassurance only I could provide. Seb deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding along mine so skillfully I was tempted to demand more when we finally broke apart.

“I think that’s a pretty good place to start,” I said, biting my puffy lip. “Don’t you?”

He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck as he brought me closer for a series of light, teasing kisses. “You do know that taking it slow with you might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, right?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that what we’re doing, taking it slow?” ‘Cause it felt to me as though we were moving at breakneck speed. It already seemed as though I knew Seb better than guys I’d dated for months.

“Maybe not,” he said, grinning.

“Can I ask you one more question?” I didn’t know why I felt I needed to know everything about him in record time. I should have let it evolve naturally and learned a little more about him with each date, but this question had been hovering in the back of my mind almost since we’d met. “Have you ever been in love? I mean, was Amy the first or—”

“I was not in love with Amy,” he said, his handsome features hardening almost as though he’d slipped a mask in place.

“Okay.” I shifted back slightly, sensing he might need some physical and emotional space. “If you don’t want to answer that question, you don’t have to.” I knew my questions were inviting him to ask questions about my love life, but turnabout was fair play. If he was brave enough to face his past, I could find the courage to do the same. For him.

“I thought maybe I was in love once.” His gaze drifted across the room to the family photos lining his mantel. “She worked for me.”

“Oh.” Was I going to be filling his former lover’s role, and if I was, would he constantly compare me to her?

“It’s been over a long time. Almost three years since she walked out on me.”

Yet it obviously still hurt him to think about it.

“No warning, no explanation. She was there one day, gone the next,” he said.

“Did you ever try to track her down?”

He nodded, fixating on the flames dancing in the gas fireplace. “I called her cell phone, but it had been disconnected. Tried emailing her, but it bounced back. I even called her family, but they could only tell me she was away, whatever the hell that meant.”

“Were you together for a long time?”

“Almost a year. It felt like forever to me. Longest relationship I ever had, which is just sad, I know.” His lips twisted in derision, and I could tell he was judging himself, probably indulging in a little negative self-talk to justify this girl’s leaving.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never had a relationship last longer than a year either.” I squeezed his leg. When his eyes refocused on mine, I could tell he was about to ask about my past, so I said, “You said she worked for you. What did she do?”

He shrugged. “Admin stuff. I guess you could say she was my assistant.”

“Is that why your office looks the way it does?” I asked, trying to make light of the situation.

He didn’t look amused as I’d hoped when he said, “I guess.”

I wondered if he hadn’t hired anyone to take her place because he’d been holding out hope she would come back. Three years was a long time, and Seb didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who’d be content biding his time and waiting for answers.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said, brushing a strand of hair off my face. “You’re wondering if I still have feelings for her because I didn’t get closure.”

He was intuitive to the point he could almost read my mind.

“Do you… still have feelings for her?” I asked.

Seb shook his head, holding his hand against mine before lacing our fingers together. “Not long after she left, I realized we weren’t right for each other. Sure, it hurt like hell at the time. If I’m being honest, it still hurts a little when I think about her, but not because I’m in love with her. She was a good girl. She made me happy and hopeful for the first time in a long time, and if anything, I would have liked the chance to tell her she made a real difference in my life.”

It was sweet that he would have wanted to end that relationship on good terms. That said a lot about the kind of man he was.

“Okay, your turn.”

Ugh, I’d known this was coming when I opened my big mouth about his past relationships. “My past is so boring I just might put you to sleep.”

“I’ll risk it.” He leaned in to steal a quick kiss.

“Okay,” I said, with a dramatic sigh. “I had a few relationships in college. They all lasted less than a year. In fact, my longest relationship was just shy of eleven months. We broke up about two years ago.”

“What happened?”

“He got pissed when I told him I was selling my house and moving in with my uncle.”

“Sounds like a douche,” Seb said, frowning.

I laughed, stroking his cheek. “He’s not as bad as he sounds. Actually, he was a pretty good guy. But we were at that point in our relationship where we either needed to take things to the next level by moving in together or move on.”

“Let me guess—he wanted to move in together, and you wanted to move on?”

“Something like that.” I thought about the ugly scene he’d made when he found the realtor leaving my house with a signed offer in her hand.

“You ever see him around?”

“From time to time. His apartment is just a few blocks away from ours, so I see him at the grocery store or convenience store once in a while.”

“Tell me he’s married with a kid on the way.”

“No. Why?” I asked, curling my hand around his. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

“I’m a guy, Skylar. I look at you and see a catch, so I know by now that idiot must be wondering how he could have been stupid enough to let you go and what he can do to get you back. If he isn’t in another relationship, that is.”

“He isn’t.”

Ethan had made it clear he’d like to start over with me, but I’d told him I wasn’t interested in repeating past mistakes. As harsh as that sounded, he needed to know there was no chance of us resurrecting our relationship. Any man who couldn’t understand why I needed to be there for the one man who’d always been there for me wasn’t worth my time.

“Great,” Seb said, rolling his eyes as his hand slipped from mine. He turned away from me, tipping his head back on the couch. “I should have known there was an ex-boyfriend waiting in the wings. You’re too amazing to be completely unattached.”

I shifted so we were sitting shoulder to shoulder. “I am completely unattached. Ethan’s a part of my past, and he knows that.”

He turned his head, eyeing me curiously. “So he has tried to get you back?”

“I guess you could say that,” I said, grabbing a taupe suede pillow and hugging it.

“And?”

“And I told him I’m not interested. He knows my focus has to be on my uncle right now.”

He frowned, his gaze returning to the fireplace. “So you’ve left the door open?”

“No, it’s firmly shut, and he’s not getting back in. No matter what.”

He was silent, obviously considering whether to believe me. “You told him the same thing you told me, that your uncle has to be your top priority right now. And I get that. I do. I honestly admire you for stepping up the way you have.”

“But?”

“I like you, Skylar. A lot.” His beautiful blue eyes could have convinced me to do almost anything, especially when they were pleading with me as they seemed to be now.

“I like you too.”

“And I’d like to see where this could go.”

I thought we’d already agreed to that, so I wasn’t sure where he was going.

“But I guess I’m looking for some assurances. Like I said, I’m not interested in wasting any more time with women who don’t want the same things I do.”

This was our second unofficial date. Thinking or talking about where we saw ourselves in five years was crazy, but I knew this couldn’t go any further until he was satisfied we were in sync.

“Okay. What do you want?” I asked.

“I want someone who understands that my job is a big part of who I am. Sometimes I spend half the night there, working through something. I forget to call more often than not. Hell, I’ve even forgotten about dates more than a few times.”