Seasons (15 page)

Jaci’s prayer and praise continued all the way to the hospital.

When Jaci stepped off the elevator at the hospital, Randi stood waiting for her. This struck Jaci as unusual, since Randi
was seldom away from little Jasmine’s crib. Jaci’s heart plummeted.
Uh oh!
she thought.
Something is drastically wrong.

They walked to the waiting room where John was already sitting, and Jaci quietly began praying again.

An hour later they still restlessly awaited word on the baby. Jaci decided to make a few calls. J.P. was one of the people
she needed to call. She punched in his home number, knowing he would not be there, but she needed to let him know she was
back. Everything else could wait. When she heard his voice on the answering machine, she was relieved, but couldn’t help thinking,
Wow! The man’s voice sounds so good!

“J.P., this is Jaci,” she said quickly. “Just wanted to let you know I’m back. I’m at the hospital. I’ll call you later and
set up a time to come by with my report.”

Later that night Jaci yawned continuously as she battled to stay alert in the fast-moving freeway traffic. The baby had come
through the surgery, was stabilized, but was still critical. There was nothing they could do but continue to pray.

“Lord! I’m tired,” she said to the interior of the truck. Her eyes were gritty, making it difficult for her to see clearly,
and she was hungry but refused to stop for something to eat.

As she entered her driveway, she felt the familiar wave of satisfaction wash over her. How she loved this house. It wasn’t
her dream home, but it was certainly a step in that direction. She gave her usual praise to God for the house and for the
college professor she had met on one of her many part-time jobs, who sold it to her. After he accepted a position in another
city, he had drastically reduced the price of the house so she could afford it. What a moment that was when she and Randi
moved from an apartment into their own home. She used the event to teach Randi that if she served the Lord and obeyed His
Word, He would always supply her needs.

Jaci drove into the garage, pushed the remote to lower the door, and debated whether or not to grab the bags that she had
hastily tossed into the Jeep at the airport. When she heard the phone ringing, her mind went immediately to the baby. She
nervously jiggled the key to unlock the door leading from the garage into the kitchen but it took too long, and by the time
she reached the phone, the answering machine had clicked on. She stood anxiously by, waiting for the beep to find out who
was calling.

J.P.’s deep voice entered the room. “Jaci, I know you’re not still at the hospital, I just called there and talked to Randi.
She told me you were on your way home. Call me as soon as you get there.”

I don’t feel like talking to you right now.
She pushed the button to retrieve her other messages.
Nothing I have to deal with tonight,
she decided as she headed into her bedroom and shed her clothes. She berated herself as she got undressed. “I should never
have let J.P. talk me into taking that assignment.” She knew that it was irrational, that what was happening with Jasmine
would have happened regardless of whether she was in town or not. But still, she would have felt better if she had been there.

The phone rang again just as she finished undressing. “Oh noooo!” She wailed tiredly and contemplated letting the machine
answer but changed her mind.
It could be Randi, I’d better get it. I’ve got to invest in one of those caller ID things.
Jaci was always years behind in new technology. It changed so rapidly, she figured, why bother?

She rushed to pick up the phone. “Hello,” she said in a cautious voice.

“Hey! What’s happening?” The casual greeting suggested they had just spoken yesterday, when in fact, it had been well over
twenty years since she’d last heard that voice. But she recognized it immediately. Stunned, with all kinds of emotions running
rampant, she was unable to answer the man’s cavalier greeting.

“Jacetta? What’s happening? You’re a hard lady to catch. I’ve been calling you for weeks now—even made a trip down there,
but you were nowhere to be found.”

Jaci’s mind went into turmoil.
Oh Lord! How should I respond? Do I hang up? Go stone crazy on his behind? Act like the good Christian woman I’m always claiming
to be?
The hardship and struggle; the fears and rejection; the social, emotional, and financial toll that single parenting had taken
on her—all cried out for her to curse his behind out, then hang up. But because she had called on the Lord, she knew she had
to at least try to handle it His way.

“Maxie,” she said calmly, but in a shaking voice. “What in the world do you want?”

Maxie casually explained that he had run into her uncle who had given him her number. Under her breath, Jaci berated her uncle’s
thoughtlessness. Aloud she said, “Now why would he do that? And better still, why would you want my number?” Her chaotic thoughts
vigorously sought a reasonable explanation for his calling after all this time. Why now, when the years of struggling to eke
out survival for herself and her child were over? Why now, when she was burdened with other issues?

Jaci recalled all the years she had hoped and prayed for this call . . . to hear this voice . . . to not be so utterly alone
in raising their child . . . when just a little support from him would have made a gigantic difference in her child’s life.
But that child was a woman now, married with children of her own. Now, all this voice represented was an unneeded problem.
She dug into her reservoir of inner strength to deal with this added stress. “What do you want?” she asked him again, valiantly
holding on to her anger.

Maxie arrogantly said, “What do you mean, what do I want? I believe I have a right to check on my daughter if I want to. By
the way, how is Randi doing? Your uncle was telling me something about her baby being in the hospital. I should have been
informed about all of this before now.”

Jaci quickly and totally lost it! “What! . . . Who! . . . do you think you are, mister? You don’t have any rights where my
daughter is concerned. You have some kind of nerve calling here trying to act like . . .” She sputtered. “You do not! And
I repeat, do not! have a daughter. I took your advice. Remember your advice about what to do with our child? Well, as far
as you’re concerned, I did that. And in case you didn’t know, that’s irreversible. You can’t change your mind about that.”

Maxie, as cool and collected as he could be, came back with a ready retort. “I do have a daughter. Her name is Randi and if
you had let me know where you were, I could have been a part of her life down through the years. In fact, you’re the one who
deprived me of a relationship with my daughter. You are the one who sneaked off to Houston with my child. You are the one
responsible for her not knowing me, and you’re the one wrong in this situation, not me.”

Jaci dropped the phone and grabbed the top of her head, which felt as if it were about to blow off. She tried to think of
some curse words strong enough to fling at him—words that would adequately express her rage. But the few she knew were much
too mild, and even they were hiding somewhere in her shell-shocked mind. She was quiet for so long that Maxie must have thought
she had hung up. She could hear him yelling, “Jacetta! Jacetta! You there?”

She picked up the phone. “This is ludicrous,” she quietly stated. “I’m not going to argue with you. The time for that is long
past and I’m not going there. But for the record, let me tell you something, you low-life bastard. I won’t go into how you
deceived me by pretending you were not married. I realized long ago that was actually a blessing in disguise. But I want you
to know, I worked right up to the hour I went into labor. And I was back on the job after only two weeks because I couldn’t
afford to lose anymore time off. Otherwise, we would have starved to death. I didn’t leave Dallas until
my
daughter was several months old. In all that time you couldn’t—or wouldn’t—be found. I’m still waiting for the call from
you to let me know how you were going to help me. But I guess all of that was my fault too!” By this time Jaci was screaming
into the phone. “Now, how YOU have the audacity to tell ME I’m responsible for your not knowing your child is beyond me.”

Her head was pounding, her hands were shaking, and her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was about to burst through
her chest. She definitely didn’t need this!

Maxie, not to be outdone, went on to say how hard he had tried to keep track of her and the baby. “I always knew where you
were until you left town. You were doing all right. So don’t try to put that guilt trip on me. You shouldn’t have left town
with my baby.”

Jaci’s head almost exploded. She tried to calm herself, thinking it was stupid to let this man give her a stroke. “You are
crazy, but like I said, it’s over and done with. It’s not even worth discussing. Now why are you calling me?” Jaci muttered
through clenched teeth.

“I want to see my daughter and grandchildren. Your uncle said she has two children, and that one is in the hospital. What’s
wrong with the baby? How old is it? How old is the other one?”

Jaci fought to regain a modicum of control. She spoke quietly but forcefully into the phone. “I don’t have any information
to give you about
my
daughter and grandchildren. I will tell her that you inquired. Of course, I’ll have to explain who you are
(God forgive me for lying—Randi was well aware of who he was)
and why you want this information. As far as she knows, you’re dead. If she chooses to talk to you, I’ll let you know. You
may call me back in a few days. I really have to go now. I can’t say it’s been nice talking to you.”

“You told my daughter I was dead?! Wh—”

She hung up on him.

Jaci fell across the king-size bed.
I can’t believe this! Oh God, what is going on?
Tears of frustration slid down her face.
Every time I get on top of one problem, another one pops up! Lord, I’m so weary.
As if on cue, the telephone rang again.

There was no question as to whether she would answer it—NO! After the beep sounded on the answering machine, she heard her
uncle’s voice. “Hey, Jace, this is Uncle George calling from Dallas. Just wanted to let you know that I ran into Maxie a while
back, and we’ve been talking every now and then. I gave him your phone number. He uh . . . he’s been real sick—some sort of
heart trouble. When he asked for your number, I gave it to him thinking he needs to get to know his child and grandchildren.
I hope I’m not too late calling. I doubt he’ll call anyway. I hope everything’s okay. Bye.”

“Doggone it uncle!” Jaci yelled to the empty house, “You are way too late!” Her tears continued. Maxie’s calling and demanding
to see Randi added to her already overloaded mind and physically tired body. It was like the proverbial last straw.

The phone rang, and again, she let the machine answer. She heard J.P’s voice.

“Hello? Jaci, it’s J.P. again. Please pick up the phone or call me back as soon as you can.”

In agitation, Jaci yelled back at the phone. “No!” She was not up to talking to him. But before she could get back to her
contemplation, she heard her pager go off. “Darn it!” She knew he would keep calling and paging her until she answered. She
picked up the phone on the nightstand, called his home number, and hoped he wouldn’t be there. When the answering machine
picked up, she gave a sigh of relief and left her number. Her relief was short-lived. A few minutes later, her phone rang.
Accepting the inevitable, she picked up the receiver and said, trying to sound as normal as possible, “Hello.” There was a
pause on the other end.

“Jaci? What’s wrong? Have you gotten some bad news on the baby? Is Randi okay? What is it?”

Jaci racked her tired brain for a response. She really didn’t want to tell J.P. about Maxie’s call, but she couldn’t lead
him to believe something was wrong with the baby. He was almost as concerned about the tiny infant as she was, and had been
through too much with her to mislead him. She tried to play it off as stress getting the best of her.

“I don’t know, I guess I’ve just let everything get on top of me. The baby had to undergo a really serious operation today
and she’s in ICU. I’m worried about Randi trying to be a superwoman when she hasn’t had time for her own body to heal properly.
The hearing I’m working on is troublesome. There’s a new problem every day. And now I have this person on the phone bugging
me about his job. I’m totally stressed out.”

“Jaci!” J.P.’s voice indicated his aggravation. “I don’t believe you’re stressed over the hearing, you’ve been doing them
long enough to know they always come off just fine. Randi is okay and hanging in there. The baby came through the surgery
and is doing okay, isn’t she?” At her softly spoken “yes,” he continued. “And you know doggone well I’m not calling you about
my job. You’re crying aren’t you? I know you well enough to know you don’t cry easily over your own problems. Everybody else’s
maybe but not yours. Now what’s going on? What has you so rattled?”

Silence.
She dithered—trying to come up with a plausible explanation—one that would satisfy him.
Why was she reluctant to tell him about Maxie’s call? She questioned herself.
But not long on patience, J.P. spoke before she had formed an answer.

“Jaci, I’m coming over. I’ll be there as soon as I can fight my way through traffic. Do you need anything? Have you had anything
to eat?” When she responded with a choked up “No,” he made a disapproving sound. “That’s part of the blasted problem right
there. You need to eat. I’ll stop and pick something up.”

J.P’s kindness pushed her over the edge. Sobbing quietly as she hung up the phone, she prayed, “Lord, help me get myself together
before he gets here.” She was angry with herself for letting Maxie’s call affect her like this. She had promised herself long
ago that she would shed no more tears over that episode and for the most part had kept that promise.