Seaside Hearts (Love in Bloom: Seaside Summers, Book 2) Contemporary Romance (18 page)

Amy choked on her water, and Jenna elbowed her.

“Mom! He’s at least twenty years younger than you.”
And he’s mine!

“That didn’t stop your father.” Her mother took her bag and went into the cottage, leaving Jenna to stew on her words.

“I thought you were exaggerating about her,” Amy said. “But she was like a woman in heat on the beach. I swear she said something about every man who walked by.”

“No shit.” Jenna’s insides were simmering. She felt as though she was on the verge of blowing up, and it took all of her efforts to remain calm. She stomped back to the car with Amy by her side and grabbed the beach chairs from the trunk. She reminded herself that what her mother was doing was a hundred times less painful than what Pete was going through with his father.

“How am I going to tell her about Pete? You heard her on the beach, talking about all those guys. I don’t even want her
thinking
about Pete that way.”

Amy laughed. “Too late. She clearly has thought about him in that way already, so if I were you, I’d nip it in the bud.”

“Right. I’ll get right on that.” Jenna rolled her eyes. “Library in an hour?”

“Sounds good.”

PETE HELPED HIS father stock the shelves with a shipment of paint. His father had been busy with customers when Pete arrived earlier in the day, so Pete had gone to work on a boat repair at the marina. He’d needed the time to calm down anyway, as he was still upset over Jenna keeping their relationship from her mother—even after he’d confided in her about his father. And the fact that she hadn’t told him she’d done it made it even worse. He knew she had her reasons, and by the time he returned to his father’s store a few hours after lunch, he was pretty much over it, but he worried about her. Whatever she wasn’t sharing with him about her mother was obviously eating away at her, and he could only hope she’d grow to trust him enough to open up. He sent her a text before heading into the hardware store. He knew she didn’t carry her cell phone, but she’d promised to check her messages when she was back at the cottage.

Hey, babe. Sorry I was upset. Do whatever you feel is right. I’m not going anywhere. Miss you.

He noticed that his father was moving slower than normal, an indication that he’d had very little sleep last night. That was okay. Pete hadn’t had a lot either, and he was thankful his father hadn’t called in the middle of the night. He treasured the night he’d had with Jenna. His mind drifted to making love to Jenna in her cottage, and his body went hot.  He struggled to push the lustful thoughts away, scrubbing his face, focusing on Joey as she sniffed around the store, and finally turned his attention back to his father.

“Pop, can we sit down for a minute?”

His father looked at him out of the corner of his eyes while he lifted a can of paint to the shelf. “I’ve got work to do.”

“Yeah? So do I. It’ll only take a minute.” He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, and he hated how his stomach clenched tight at the prospect of bringing up his father’s drinking, but he had to try.

“I’ve got three more boxes in the back to unload.” His father wouldn’t meet his gaze. He rubbed his hands on his faded jeans and pulled at his leather belt. It was the same belt he’d worn for as long as Pete could remember. His father was a creature of habit—and Pete hoped his drinking was a habit he could break.

“Luckily you’ve got enough paint on the shelves for the next hour. Come on, Pop. Five minutes.” Pete arched a brow and set a hand on his father’s shoulder. He felt his father exhale. A reluctant acceptance of the inevitable.

“Fine. Five minutes,” he grumbled under his breath as he ran his eyes over Pete’s face. “You look different.”

“Yeah, so do you.”

His dad laughed. “Nothing different in this old man, but you? You’ve got a spark in your eyes.”

He was surprised to hear that when he felt like his body was on fire and every nerve was strung tight.

“Sky called me last night,” his father said.

Pete drew his brows together. “Yeah? What did she want?” They’d never discussed the fact that Pete protected Sky from his father’s drinking, and Pete wondered if his father had figured it out. He’d have to be blind not to notice how many times Pete had swept Sky away to his house under the pretense of wanting to spend more time with her rather than have her spend the night at his father’s house.

“She said she’s thinking of coming for a visit.” His father rubbed his chin.

“It’d be nice to see her,” Pete said to assuage his father, and made a mental note to call Sky again. He thought he’d taken care of this little visit.

“Well, looks like we may have company.” His father’s eyes drifted to the photograph of Pete’s mother beneath the counter, pushing Pete’s mind back to the reason he’d come.

He’d thought about how to bring up his father’s drinking a million times throughout the morning and finally decided the best tactic was indirect.

“Pop, I met someone.”

Neil smiled and lifted his hands in the air. “Finally. I was getting worried about you.”

Pete shook his head, agitation dulling his father’s jest. “I go out with women all the time.”
I just don’t see them more than a few times.
“I didn’t just meet her, but we just started dating. You know her. Jenna Ward.”

“Oh.” His father raised his brows. “Jenna Ward. I always liked Jenna. What took you so damn long?”

“My life isn’t exactly conducive to long-term relationships.” He held his father’s gaze and saw discomfort skate across his face as he shifted his eyes away. “Pop, we need to talk about this. I really like her, and I can’t keep coming over at all hours of the night to take care of you.”

“I don’t need you to come over.” His father waved a dismissive hand and stepped away.

“Pop.” He followed Neil back to the paint aisle and watched as his father began stocking the shelves again. Pete put his hand on his father’s arm, stopping it in midair. “Pop, this isn’t going to go away by ignoring it.”

His father pulled his arm from his grasp and set his eyes on the paint can, his jaw set firm. Pete knew he was raging his own silent battle, and he felt guilt grip him again. When Neil raised his eyes, they were narrow, determined.

“I love you, Pete, but why can’t you do as your brothers and sister do and go live your life and let me live mine?”

“Let you…Pop, really? Is that how you see this? As me messing with your life? You know why they let you live your life? Because it’s easier, and because you call me, Pop, not them.
Me
.” Anger brewed in Pete’s gut. “The last thing any of them need is to have their lives fucked up by this nightmare.”

His father fisted his hands, and his cheeks reddened. Those were the only visible indications that he’d heard Pete’s words. With a deep exhalation, he calmly went back to shelving the paint.

“You’ve always been afraid to commit to a woman, Pete. It sounds like I’m a good excuse for you not to.”

Pete ground his teeth together to keep from yelling. “You know what, Pop? I’m not afraid to commit to Jenna. I already have, but I can’t live a normal life when I have to come drag your drunken ass into bed every night. Mom’s gone, Pop. She’s not coming back, and this double life you’re living? She’d be ashamed of it.”
Fuck
. They were the last words he’d expected—or wanted—to say, even if he meant every word.

The color drained from Neil’s face. He set a hand on a shelf, as if Pete’s words hit with the impact of a bullet and he needed the shelf to remain erect.

Pete grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

His father shook his head, and when he looked up, his eyes had turned to liquid steel, but his tone was calm and even. “Son, I think you’d better leave.”

Like hell
. The can of worms was open and Pete wasn’t about to stop there.  “No, Pop, I’m not leaving. We need to talk about this, even if it’s difficult. I worry about you.”

“You have no idea what it’s like to lose the person you loved most in this world, and I pray to God that you never do. I know you worry about me, and God knows I love you for it. But do yourself a favor, Peter. Go live your life, and stay the hell out of mine.” His voice was as icy as his words, and when he walked away, Pete felt his heart split down the middle. Living his own life sounded easy, even doable. But he could no sooner turn his back on his father than he could walk away from Jenna.

“This isn’t the end, Pop.”

His father stilled.

“She was my mother, and she’d be ashamed of me if I didn’t try to help you. And whether you choose to remember it or not, you have kids who love you, and you owe us more than this.”

His father’s neck bowed, but he didn’t turn to face Pete. He stood still, staring at the floor, and Pete couldn’t imagine what was going through his head.

“I’m not giving up on you.” The promise sailed heated and honestly from Pete’s lips. “You have a lot of years left. Years to refit boats with me, years to meet your future grandchildren. Mom died, Pop. You didn’t.”

WHEN JENNA WAS young, her mother volunteered in the elementary school library, and later, in the town library. Now Jenna watched her mother sorting through books and chatting with the other men and women library volunteers who were closer to her mother’s age. She pictured her mother as the person she’d been before her father had sent her world spinning with the news of his impending marriage. She missed that person, and she hoped like hell she wasn’t gone forever.

Amy sidled up to Jenna, her eyes on Jenna’s mom. “Even though she’s acting weird, it’s really good to see your mom. I missed her.”

“I still miss her,” Jenna admitted.

“Aw, Jenna. She’ll be back to her old self in no time.” Amy patted Jenna’s shoulder. “This is a phase, like when a man goes through a midlife crisis. Did you tell her about Pete yet?”

Jenna sighed. She’d received a sweet text from Pete saying to do what felt right and that he wasn’t going anywhere, but she knew it was wrong to keep their relationship a secret. “No, but I need to. She’s talking about going to drag queen karaoke tonight in P-town, and I want to ask Pete to join us. Is that awful of me? Should I give her all of my attention? I’m so torn. I know she’s only doing this because she’s hurt over my dad getting remarried—speaking of a midlife crisis.” She rolled her eyes. She had no idea if her father was going through a midlife crisis or if he really loved the woman he was marrying, and she didn’t really care either way. She just wanted her parents to be happy, and she didn’t want to be part of defining how that happened.

“I wish your father would just wake up and realize he’s made a mess of things and fix it,” Amy said.

Jenna crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes in her mother’s direction. “You don’t really think she’d take him back? After all this time? I think she’d feel humiliated after he’s been with someone so young.”

Amy shrugged. “Love’s a powerful thing.”

You’re telling me
. Jenna thought of waking up in Pete’s arms, and the intimate things he’d shared with her and said to her over the past few days. It wasn’t fair to Pete, or to herself, to act as though they weren’t in love.
In love
. She was definitely, one hundred percent, in love with Pete, and as she watched her mother heading in their direction, she drew in a deep breath and prepared to do what she should have done at the cottage.

“Speaking of love.” Jenna nodded to her mother. “I guess I better come clean about Pete.”

“That’s my cue to take off. Good luck.” Amy hurried to another table and went back to sorting and pricing books.  

“Well, that was nice. It was refreshing to be with people my own age and not feel like I had something to prove.” She looked fondly at the group she’d just been talking with. “Thanks for bringing me with you today. At home I feel like I have to prove something to my friends because, before they were my friends, they were
our
friends. There’s a whole different dynamic. ”

Something to prove?
She’d never considered that her mother might be facing such pressure. “I’m sorry you’re going through that, Mom.”

Jenna’s mother patted her hair. “How are you, sweetheart? You look a little worried.”

You could say that
. “I’m good.”

She brushed Jenna’s hair from her eyes. “I do love your hair this way. It’s less severe. Sexier.”

“Mom. It’s weird to hear you talk about things that are sexy.”

“Oh, honey. Please. You’re a grown woman.”

“Yes, but you’re still my mother.”
And Dad’s still my father
.
And Pete’s the man I’m in love with
. She didn’t know what was worse, knowing her mother was comparing young men to her father or worrying her mother would say things about having sex with Pete. Jenna took a deep breath and took her mother’s hand in hers.

“Can we go outside and talk?” They went out the back door and walked through the lush, flowering garden behind the library. Jenna’s stomach fluttered nervously. She sat on an iron bench and patted the seat beside her.

“Sit with me, Mom.”

“It’s lovely back here, isn’t it? I miss coming up during the summers, and I really enjoyed working in the library. Maybe I should think about going back to work.”

“That would probably be good for you, Mom. Then you’d get your mind off of…”
Shit
.

“Your father?”

She said it so matter-of-factly, without the venom that usually laced anything having to do with him, that Jenna had to take a second look at her.

“Yeah. Dad.”

Her mother patted her leg. “Sweetie, I wanted to talk to you about that whole situation. I’m thinking of selling the house.”

Jenna’s eyes opened wide. “Your house?” Jenna wasn’t sure
she
was ready for her mother to sell the house she grew up in. Selling the house would signify the end of what was.
Or maybe the beginning of what is yet to come
.

“Well, I can’t exactly sell your house, now, can I?” She smiled, and it was sincere and reminiscent of the genuine smiles Jenna knew so well and missed so much.

Gina’s smiles had changed dramatically over the last few weeks. They’d become a little conniving, and it was disconcerting. This smile softened the discomfort that Jenna had begun to associate with spending time with her mother.

“No, I guess you can’t. But where would you live?” Jenna watched a car drive by, then turned her attention back to her mother. She had a solemn look in her eyes, and instead of the bright lipstick she’d been wearing lately, her mother’s lips were natural, her cheeks pink from lying out in the sun. Without the mask of heavy makeup, fine lines were evident around her mouth and puckered around the creases of her eyes. Despite the signs of age, she looked beautiful.

Her mother shrugged. “I’m not sure, but your father is moving on, and being in the house we shared makes it terribly hard for me to do the same.” She smoothed the front of her shorts. “I know I’ve been…different lately.”

Jenna arched a brow, wondering why, if she knew she’d been acting different, she didn’t stop herself.

“This whole thing has been an eye-opener, Jenna. I was so shocked by your father getting remarried. Somehow even this long after the divorce, it really threw me for a loop that he’s replacing our marriage with a new one. Our relationship was
replaceable
. That’s a big pill to swallow. I guess I went a little nutty. I’m still going a little nutty.”

Jenna set her hand on her mother’s hand. “You’re not nutty, Mom. You’re just confused.”

“That’s just it. I’m not at all confused.” Her mother pulled her shoulders back, and her eyes became serious. “I know you think I am. I even know I’m driving you crazy with the way I’m dressing and the way I’m acting, but honestly, it’s the only way for me to move forward.”

Jenna covered her face with her hands. “Ugh.” She dropped her hands and had to laugh. “You know you’re acting weird and you think it’s a good thing? And you knew you were driving me crazy and you didn’t tell me that you weren’t losing your mind?”

“Oh, honey. I’m not sure how to explain this to you. But the best way I can is that sometimes we put ourselves into these molds when a period in our life requires it. Like when you’re deep into the throes of motherhood and your personal life gets put on hold. Or when you’re building a career and nothing but climbing that silly ladder matters. And then we wake up one day, and we realize that we had no idea who we were
before
we got into that mold. It turns out, it’s not so easy to move between them, only no one warns you of that when you’re young.” A breeze swept through the garden, rustling the purple, yellow, and white flowers beside them.

Gina set her eyes on Jenna. “This is your warning, honey. We have to adapt to certain phases, but it’s not easy to keep from getting lost in them. This attitude adjustment of mine is my way of kicking myself in the rear to try and remember who I really am.”

“But aren’t you embarrassed by…?”

“By how I dress and how I act? No. I’m not embarrassed.
You
are, and I understand that, but I never realized
how
embarrassed you were until this morning.”

“This morning?”

“Oh, honey. Do you really think I’m blind? Pete had an overnight bag in his hand, not a tool box, and last I looked, you didn’t have a dog, but you have a dog bed in your bedroom.” She smiled and touched Jenna’s hand. “I also saw how upset it made him when you tried to cover up whatever is going on between you two, and that’s when I realized that while I was busy finding myself, I was losing you.”

“You’re not losing me.” She hadn’t realized how true the words were until she refuted them. She’d been putting distance between her and her mother, not returning her texts and calls right away. Her mother was right; she was losing her.

“Yes, I was. I was pushing you away by trying to be something I wasn’t, and I understand that, but I need you to understand that I’m not trying to be someone else. I’m trying to figure out who I really was, who I am, and trying out lots of things. But, baby girl, the last thing I want to do is to ruin things between us. I know I’ve been leaning on you a lot lately, and I’m sorry. It isn’t fair. You were so damn willing to be there for me before the summer, and as awful as it sounds, I was broken, Jenna. I needed that.”

Jenna’s throat thickened with guilt. “It’s not awful. You’re my mom. I’d do anything for you.”

“I know you would.” She put her arm around Jenna and pulled her closer. “But you’re my daughter, not my parent, and you have a life to live, too.”

“I’m
finally
living my life.” Thinking of Pete, Jenna couldn’t repress her smile.

“Oh, Jenna. You’ve always been living your life. You’re just living your life with the man you’ve been crushing on for years on end. I was afraid he’d never come around.”

“Crushing on?” Jenna laughed. Dreaming of. Fantasizing over. Both were more accurate. “I wasn’t sure he ever would either. I asked out another guy, and that got his attention.”

“Why is it that men need a threat to realize what they have?” Her mother’s eyes saddened.

“Mom, I’m sorry about Dad.”

She squeezed Jenna’s hand. “So am I, honey. I loved him. I
love
him. I’ll never stop loving him, and I’ll never replace him. You know what I said about it being hard to break out of the molds from different phases of our lives?” She didn’t wait for Jenna to answer. “Well, I knew things weren’t good between your father and me for a very long time. I just didn’t know how to fix them. I was comfortable in our life, and your father wanted to travel and see the world. It’s like one day he woke up and realized that we were on the downhill side of our lives, and he wanted to experience more of what life had to offer, not just wait for it to end.” She shrugged. “I was too content. I was afraid to break out of the mold.”

“So that’s why you’re doing it now? Breaking out of the mold?”

“I guess. I don’t really know. I know I say things about your father that I shouldn’t. I’m just hurt, and I’m brokenhearted, and it’s not fair to you. You love your father, as you should, but it hurts to know that I could have changed things and I lost my chance.” Her mother looked away, but not before Jenna noticed her damp eyes.

“Mom, have you talked to Dad about this? Does he know you’re trying to change now?” Could they reconcile? It was a strange idea to ponder, since her father was about to be married to Cara, but Jenna felt a flutter of hope in her chest.

“Your father and I are close, Jenna. We talk often.”

“You do?” How could she not know that?

“True love doesn’t just wash away because you’re bored.”

“But you got divorced. It’s been two years.”

“True. Your father is happy with his new tart.”

“
Mom
.”

“Sorry. She’s actually a nice woman, and she makes him happy. We’ll never lose what we had. They’re great memories, but he did the right thing. He took control of his life, and now it’s time for me to move on.”

“So…you’re not going to try to reconcile with Dad? I feel like I’m on an emotional roller-coaster ride.”

“Oh no, honey. I didn’t mean to give you that impression. You can’t go backward in life. Only forward. Which is why after tonight I’m going to get out of your hair and let you move on with your life.” Her mother hugged her, and held her against her while she spoke. “Thank you for being there for me. It was your kick in the pants that made me wake up.”

Jenna pulled back. “What do you mean? What did I do?”

“When you came down to the Cape, you said you wouldn’t come back until the end of the summer, and you implied that I needed to deal with life on my own. You were right. I was hiding behind you, trying to fit into whatever you had going on in your life, like I was a girlfriend. I knew I couldn’t hide anymore. I just had to find the strength to stop, and when you didn’t return my texts and you hesitated about me coming to visit, it was the eye-opener that I needed.”

“Then what was up with the tight dress? And the comments on the beach? And the comments about Pete?”
Especially the comments about Pete!

“The dress? Because I’ve still got it.” She patted her hip. “The comments? Because they were hotties. I’m old. Not blind.” Her mom sighed. “Don’t worry, honey. I’m kidding. But as far as Pete goes, sweetheart, I was egging you on, trying to get you to stake claim to your man.”

“Could have fooled me. I thought you were becoming a cougar.”

“Meow.” Her mother reached out like her hand was a bear claw.

They headed back into the library arm in arm.

“Hey, Mom? Can you please not ask me anything sexual about Pete?
Ever
?”

“You never let me have any fun.” Her mom laughed.  “There’s no need to ask. The way you looked at each other left nothing up to the imagination.”

Jenna groaned, but her insides were doing a happy dance—for both the understanding that her mother wasn’t losing her mind after all and at the notion that others could see how much she and Pete cared for each other. She felt like she wanted to stand on top of the Wellfleet fire tower and yell,
I’m Jenna Ward, and I love Pete Lacroux!
It was a relief to share that love with the woman who had been there for everything from skinned knees to career issues. Her mother had never shooed her away the way that Jenna had done to her the last few weeks. As she held the library door open for her mother, she realized that she had to come clean about something else. Something equally as important.