Seaside Dreams (Love in Bloom: Seaside Summers, Book One) Contemporary Romance (16 page)

“You blew my mind. Literally.” She smiled and gazed into his eyes. She could lie right there beside him all day long and be perfectly content.
Happy
, she corrected herself.
Perfectly happy.

“Can’t ask for more than that.” He set down his book. “Do you want to rent a boat?”

“Sure.”

They walked down the beach hand in hand, and for the first time in a very long time, Bella felt like she was part of a real couple. She’d never felt very connected to Jay, so he’d always felt a little like a friend with benefits. Even with the other guys she’d dated throughout the years, she’d never felt the same deep connection she felt with Caden. Holding his hand wasn’t high school exciting. It wasn’t a precursor to sex. It was so much more than those things. Holding Caden’s hand felt like their lives were joining together and becoming one. She could see herself years from now sitting on the beach reading beside him; she could picture him graying around the temples with crow’s feet around his beautiful dark eyes. None of those thoughts were part of her summertime plan, and yet they were there, as real and as present as the man who instilled them.

Caden rowed them out to the middle of the lake. Children’s voices drifted farther into the distance, birds flapped as they landed on the water, and Bella soaked in the peaceful moment.

“I kind of like this whole setup.” She leaned back and stretched her legs out in front of her, wiggling her toes between Caden’s bare feet. “You can row me around anytime you want. You know, if you get bored one day and just feel like being a sexy, shirtless water taxi.”

He shook his head, but his smile reached his eyes. “Can I?”

“Uh-huh. I mean, I wouldn’t fight it or anything.”

Bella spread her towel out on the metal seat and lay horizontally, dangling her toes in the water. Her arms fell limply to her sides, and she closed her eyes. It had been a perfect morning, and now, as the boat moved swiftly through the water, the comfortable silence that had become familiar no longer surprised her.

From behind closed lids, a shadow darkened the sky and the air cooled as, Bella assumed, they passed beneath the bridge. When her closed lids were struck by the blazing sun again, she knew they’d passed through to the other side. The lake was large, and in all the years Bella had been going there, she could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen people go beyond the bridge. She kept her eyes closed and listened for sounds of others. She liked drifting along without knowing exactly where she was, letting Caden make the decisions of where they were headed. She trusted him, and that thought nestled into her heart like a bear bedding down for a long, cold winter.

She heard the sweeping of the oars in the water cease and felt the boat drifting slower. She heard Caden sigh. He sounded as relaxed as she felt, and she wondered what he was doing, but the moment was so blissfully peaceful that she didn’t dare open her eyes. The boat rocked, and she sensed Caden’s closeness before she felt his mouth on hers. She opened her lips and welcomed his warm, loving kiss. Every stroke of his tongue was deep and sensuous. She kept her eyes closed, relishing the anticipation of not knowing what might come next. She willed her hips to remain still, and when his big hand slid beneath her bikini top, a quiver spiraled in her belly. Her nipples hardened between his index finger and thumb. He kissed her like he was making love to her mouth, and her mind drifted far, far away. When he lowered his mouth to her breast, she gasped and opened her eyes, quickly looking around the empty lake, before he reached up and brushed her lids closed again.

“No one’s around. I promise.”

She closed her eyes, trusting him completely. The risk heightened the excitement, and she hoped he was feeling the same thrill as she was. He grazed her sensitive nipple with his teeth, and she sucked in another breath. She reached for him, eyes still closed, and felt his hip, then followed the line of it to his firm ass. He moaned, then dragged his tongue between her breasts and whispered against her lips.

“I swear I love more about you than your body. I really do.” He kissed her softly, and she opened her mouth and tried to deepen the kiss, but he drew back, teasing her once again. Every sensation magnified with each hot breath as he whispered against her ear, “But I want to be inside you.”

She fisted her hand in the fabric of his shorts and licked her lips.

“You know that drives me crazy.” He kissed her again, and she opened her mouth wider, trying to take more of him.

His big hands gripped her hips and held on tight as he brought his mouth down to her belly, leaving her panting in his wake. He licked along the edge of her bikini bottom.

“I love how you tremble when I touch you.”

Tremble. Touch
.
More
.

His hands left a hot trail as they slid up her body and he filled them with her breasts.
Oh God, yes
. She felt his tongue drag along the center of her chest and swirl in the dip of her collarbone. He nibbled the edge of her jaw, bringing her nerves to the surface of her skin. Jesus, he could make her come again without ever entering her. She sensed his face over hers, and she forced her eyes open and met his gaze.

His eyes slid to the water, and the edge of his lips curved up. “Up for a swim?”

Hell yes
. Her mouth still wasn’t working. He sank to his knees beside her and drew her close.

“I don’t have a condom,” he whispered.

Her heart was beating so hard she was sure he could feel it. She forced herself to speak. “I really am on the pill. I’m not a college girl just looking for sex, or someone who forgets to take the pill religiously and willing to risk a pregnancy.”

He touched his forehead to hers. “I know, Bella.”

She quieted, letting him make the decision. She wanted to be close to him, to be with him in every sense, and as he contemplated the situation, she was hit with a thought so powerful that it drew her back. She could see herself having a child with him.

“I haven’t risked this since Caty.” He pressed his hands to her cheeks and gazed into her eyes with the most serious look she’d ever seen on him. Her pulse quickened from the unsureness of what it meant. His jaw clenched, and his eyebrows drew together. His eyes swept over the empty lake. They were alone, so very alone. It felt like they were the only people on earth.

“We don’t have to…” she offered.

“I want to, Bella. I want you. I want you in every way possible.” He kissed her then, and she couldn’t hold back any longer.

She grasped at his shoulder, his back, his hair, whatever she could reach. He was kneeling beside her. She pushed him back on his palms, then pulled the top of his suit down and took him in her mouth.

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” he said through gritted teeth.

She swallowed him deep, stroking him with her tongue. He was sweet and salty and hot—
oh so hot
.

“Good Lord, Bella.”

His voice was thick with need. Heat seared through her as she placed a hand on either side of him and kissed her way up his body. His chest heaved with every jagged breath.

“Water.” A command. Another desirous thrill.

He stepped over the side and reached for her.

“Come to me, baby.”

She leaned toward him, and in one swift move, he had her in his arms, the cool water warmed in seconds. He sealed his mouth to hers and kissed her like he needed her in order to breathe. His powerful legs kept them afloat as he pulled the string on one side of her bikini bottom and the fabric fell away, connected only by the thin thread on the other hip. Without missing a beat, still lip to lip, tongues urgently colliding, he pushed down his swim shorts and thrust into her. Bella’s head fell back with the force of him. He filled her completely, and as he drove into her, she felt every stimulating inch stroking her into a frenzy of tingling nerves and pulsing need. He grasped the side of the boat for leverage, holding on to her with his other powerful arm.

He tore his lips from hers, breathing hard and holding her tight against him.

“Caden.” She paused to catch her breath.
I love you
. “I…I’ve never done this before. You’re my first outside lover.”

“I hope to be your last.” His eyes darkened, piercing through to her soul, as he thrust in deep and loved them both over the edge.

AFTER SPENDING THE afternoon lying on the boat, then dozing beneath the warm sun, Caden thought the urge to tell Bella he loved her might have subsided, or at least lessened to a nag rather than a continuous, all-consuming need he could barely contain. Boy, had he been wrong. He fought the urge to share his feelings with every breath he took. After they arrived back at her cottage, Caden wanted to savor their last moments alone. He still felt a tether of guilt over those thoughts because of Evan, but all it took was one look at the love in Bella’s eyes for him to push that guilt aside and bring her hand to his lips.

“Sorry I introduced you into a world of debauchery?” Bella’s cheeks pinked up against the tawny glow of her fresh tan.

“Hardly a world of debauchery, and that was my idea, remember?” He leaned across the center console and touched her cheek. “Wait right there.” He stepped from the truck and opened her door. Bella shifted in her seat, placing her legs on either side of him. Caden folded her into his arms and breathed in the coconut scent of her suntan lotion.

“Mm,” she murmured. “Quite possibly the best Saturday ever.”

He drew back and gazed into her eyes. He knew committing to seeing him was a big step for Bella, and hell, it was a big step for him, too. He thought about her as much as he thought of Evan, and he couldn’t deny that he cared about her as much, too. But would he scare her off if he admitted it to her? All afternoon he’d tried to gauge her feelings for him, and he thought they were definitely on the same page, but what did he know? He hadn’t allowed anyone into his heart for years.

“If you keep looking at me like that, you’re going to make me worry,” Bella said. “You look like you’re debating breaking up with me.”

He smiled and touched her cheek. “Just the opposite.”

She drew her brows together.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” His feelings didn’t tumble or jump from his lips. They came easily, softly spoken and smooth as silk. They were true, so damn true.

In the space of a breath, Bella’s eyes widened and her lips curved into a smile. Then her eyes narrowed and she hooked her finger into the waist of his bathing suit. Her lips parted—every second felt like a lifetime as he waited for a response that he could understand.

“Caden,” she whispered. Her eyes searched his and her mouth opened, as if she were going to say more; then she trapped her lower lip between her teeth.

He brushed her hair from her shoulder. “I can’t help it, babe.” His voice refused to speak louder than a whisper, and in this intimate unveiling of his heart, a whisper was all that was needed. She rested her forehead against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. Caden stroked her hair, wishing she’d say more—and wondering if he’d made a mistake by saying as much as he had.

Bella lifted her head at the sound of Vera’s violin. He repressed the heartache brewing inside of him in an effort to give Bella whatever space she needed to digest his words. When she finally looked up at him again, he still couldn’t read her thoughts.

It took every iota of his strength to step back and give her physical space as well as emotional room to think.

“I guess I’d better get Evan.”

“Caden.” She reached for his hand and drew him close again. “I feel it, too, but I’m scared. What if I don’t get a job here? What if my house doesn’t sell? My real estate agent left a message and I haven’t checked it yet. What if I have to move back to Connecticut because it doesn’t sell?”

He knew her well enough to sense that what she was really worried about wasn’t any of those things. He also knew her well enough to know that she might not want to admit the truth, but he had to try to get her to open up to him. At least to the idea of them.

“What if I lie to you?” he whispered. “What if I hurt you? Isn’t that what you really mean?”

She shifted her eyes away.

“Bella, I understand. Take all the time you need. Take years if you need it. One day you’ll see who I am and understand that I don’t take commitments lightly.”

“I know that.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “I feel the same way you do. When I’m with you, everything feels right.” She pressed her lips together and her eyes grew serious. “Know what scares me the most? When I’m with you, I let myself be vulnerable, and if you know me, you know I’m anything but vulnerable.”

“Bella…”

“Let me finish, because this is hard to admit out loud. If any other man had said they wanted to put locks on my doors and windows, I’d have sent them away. If they showed up at the beach when I was there with my friends just to make sure I was okay, I’d have thought they were too possessive and found excuses to distance myself from them. If they—”

Caden ran his hand through his hair and blew out a loud breath. “So, basically you’re saying that I’ve done everything wrong.”

“No,” she said quietly. “You’ve done everything right, Caden, and for the first time in my life, I’ve allowed myself to let someone do those things.”

“Okay, now you’re confusing me. So that’s a bad thing?”

“Yes, that’s a bad thing.” She held her hands up as if she were making total sense, and for the life of him, Caden had no clue why. Nothing she was saying made any sense to him. “Don’t you see?” she pleaded.

“Treat me like a student and walk me through it, because honestly, no. I’m completely at a loss. Isn’t it good that you feel comfortable enough with me to allow me to do those things?”

“Yes. It’s a good thing, but it’s like standing on a street corner naked and waiting for the guy you’re dating to drive by—and every time he does, you wonder if he’s going to throw tomatoes or whistle.”

She nodded again, as if she were making sense. She probably was, but not in man-speak.

“Come again?”

“
Ugh!
Okay. Listen carefully. This morning I noticed that there was a loose board on my deck, and my first thought was,
Oh, Caden can fix that for me.
”

“Sure. I’m happy to.” He never considered himself a complete novice in the world of women, but now he was having his doubts.

“That’s just it. I know you will, and before you, I’d have thought,
Let me get my hammer.
” She held her palms up again. “See the issue? With you I let myself be a…a…”

“Girlfriend?”

“A
girl
.”

He couldn’t stifle a laugh. “Sorry, but uh, if you weren’t a girl, then you and I would definitely never happen.”

“
Tsk
.” She playfully pushed his chest and smiled. “A weak girly girl. I left that girl behind in high school, and I worked really hard to become a woman who could be completely self-sufficient. But I’m so darn comfortable with you that I let you do things I can—
and should
—do myself.”

He did the only thing he could do. He wrapped her in his arms.

“Bella, Bella, Bella. It’s okay to be a girly girl. In fact, I love your strong, efficient side as much as your girly girl side. What’s the worst that happens? You let me do a few things you can do on your own, and in return I let you lead me down a path of allowing myself to have a life separate from my son?”

“Yes.” She smiled up at him. “That’s exactly it. Then if you hurt me, I have to get used to doing all those things again.”

“And if you break up with me? I’d have had a taste of life with you, and after being with you, there’s no going back. So we’re in the same boat.” He kissed her lips and felt her smile. “This would have been a lot easier if you’d just said that you feel the same way but you’re afraid of becoming too reliant on me.”

She jumped from the truck. “That’s what I did say.”

Caden shook his head to try to clear his confusion.

“Just to be sure I understand. You
are
falling for me? And it’s okay if I do things for you and treat you like a girly girl sometimes? Or should I not fix the deck and bring you flowers?”

She grabbed her tote from the back of the truck and swung it over her shoulder. “Falling for you,
check
. Bring me flowers,
check
. Fix my deck?” She went up on tiptoes and kissed the dimple in his chin. “You’re the first guy who picked up on my love of pink. You can fix my damn deck as long as you know I’m completely capable of doing it myself.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a challenge?” He took the tote from her arm and carried it to the deck.

“No,” she said as she unlocked the door. “They usually call me a pain in the ass.”

“Well, there is that, but a welcome pain with a fine ass.”