Searching for Pemberley (41 page)

When I arrived in Germany in August 1946, I was a naive, devout Catholic, who believed that sex outside of marriage was not only a mortal sin in the eyes of the Church, but just plain wrong, and that such intimacy had a place only in the bedroom of a married couple. In the subsequent two years, I lost a good deal of my naiveté, and although I faithfully attended Mass, I hadn't received Communion in months because I was guilty of the sin of lust. To make matters worse, I was lusting after two men at the same time, and one of them was asleep in the chair in front of me.

He looked so peaceful, and I wanted to touch his face. Instead, I left a note for Geoff on the foyer table telling him that his cousin was asleep in the morning room, and I went downstairs to find something to eat. I had been eating sardines and crackers for two nights in a row, and it seemed as if I was going to be eating them for a third when I heard Geoff's familiar footsteps. He had bought some Chinese takeaway, which was becoming a mainstay for the two of us.

“Michael's arrival blows Beth's plans for a surprise party all to hell, doesn't it?” Geoff asked.

“Not necessarily,” I answered. “Jack and Beth can go with him up to Crofton, and we can plan the party for this weekend. It was going to be tough pulling off a party midweek anyway.”

“Do you want a beer?” Geoff asked, as he gazed into the refrigerator.

“Make that two beers,” Michael said as he came down the stairs.

Geoff jumped up and shook Michael's hand to the point where he looked like he was working a water pump.

After grabbing a beer, Michael asked, “Were you two planning my surprise party?” Geoff and I looked at each other
but said nothing. “I got here at noon, and Mrs. Gooding told me that Maggie had gone to Finsbury to buy flour to bake a cake. So the cake was either for my demob party, or someone is having a birthday.”

“Your mother will be so disappointed if you're not surprised,” I said.

“I promise to be surprised.”

“How's everything going with the Airlift?” Geoff asked.

“They've got this thing running like a well-oiled machine,” Michael answered. “A plane lands in Berlin every five minutes. They offload the cargo in a matter of minutes, and if there's nothing wrong with the plane, off it goes back to its home base. The only thing that messes with the system is the weather.”

“Don't you find it a bit odd to be doing all this just three years after we were trying to kill them?” Geoff asked.

“Yes,” Michael said, nodding his head. “When I got to Lubeck, I was told it had been a night fighter base. We have two German crews working for us. They are well-trained and extremely competent, but I couldn't help but wonder if some of these men had worked on fighters that went after our planes. But you have to get past it. In war, hatred is a valuable tool in keeping you alive. In peacetime, it's a millstone.”

Thinking that the conversation had taken a martial turn, I saw it as a chance to make my exit. The last time I had been with Michael, he had been holding me so tightly I could hear his heart beating. I hadn't mentally prepared for his return.

“Good night, gentlemen. I'll let you two catch up. Tomorrow's a work day for me.”

As I walked past Michael, he caught me by my arm and said, “Hell, I don't want to catch up with Geoff.” Putting his beer down, he said, “Let's go somewhere. There must be a dance club around here that isn't shuttered.”

The three of us ended up in a half-empty club with a three-piece band and a piano player who was feeling no pain, but it seemed that neither Geoff nor Michael cared about the quality of the music. While Michael was ordering a round of drinks, Geoff headed straight for a blonde, who was coming out of the ladies' room. After putting three ales down in front of me, Michael offered me a cigarette. I shook my head and told him I didn't smoke.

“You don't smoke, and you drink very little. Do you have any vices?”

“Yes, I swear like a sailor.” Michael started to laugh. He had the most beautiful smile. His father told me that he had spent a fortune on braces for Michael, and it had been worth every penny. “My mother always said there were three things a lady never did: smoke in public, chew gum, and cross your legs at the knees. I think she read it in a
Ladies' Home Journal
article.”

“Well, it's true that smoking is very bad for you. I'll agree with your mother there. And chewing gum is repulsive, regardless of sex. However, I have to disagree with her about crossing your legs at the knees. In your case, it's just bad advice.” It seemed that our flirtation was up and running, and Michael had been home only for a couple of hours.

The band was now playing a piano number that was even worse than the first, but Michael insisted that we dance. Although it wasn't a slow dance, he was acting as if it was and started singing “Always,” the song the band had played at Montclair for its last number. I was back in his arms again.

When we returned to our table, two men were sitting there. The more sober one had heard my accent, and he started in on Americans.

“The way I hear it, the British had their thumbs up their arses while America saved the world. Isn't that right, deary?”

There's always a fine line when talking to someone who has had too much to drink. Do you engage in the hopes he will settle down, or do you just walk away? The problem was, he was sitting at our table. I could see Geoff and Michael were not amused and were about to give both of them the boot. I didn't want a barroom brawl, so I decided to walk away and told the boys I was heading home. Michael was out of his chair in a flash. “You can't go home yet.”

“Actually, I can. That is possibly the worst band I have ever heard, and I've heard lots of them. I come from a town where every kid thought he was the next Tommy Dorsey. Besides, I have to work in the morning, and I'm tired, but I'd appreciate it if you walked me to the Underground.” And we left Geoff behind with the blonde.

Sitting on the bench waiting for the train, Michael asked what I had been doing since our farewell at the train station.

“I'm still with AAFES.” I explained about the three B-29 squadrons that were now stationed in England. “But I'm pretty sure I'll be heading home in January.”

“Has something caused you to change your mind about going back to your hometown?”

“Yes, my Aunt Marie has been ill for a few weeks now, and she's in her eighties. Besides, I'm beginning to feel as if I'm in limbo here.”

“I'm confused as to your plans,” he said. “After seeing your family and aunt, are you staying in Minooka? I didn't think that was an option because of the lack of jobs.”

Seeing his furrowed brow, I said, “Don't worry. I have cousins strategically placed throughout the country and a sister who lives near New York City.”

“I'm probably out of line here, but where is Rob in all of this?”

“Rob's employment with TRC ends on December 23rd. After that, he's going to Omaha to visit with the family of his friend, who was killed on the Stuttgart mission. From there, he goes to Arizona to be with his family, and on to California, where he's going to graduate school at UCLA.”

“In school, I was pretty good at geography,” Michael said. “It seems to me that while you remain on the East Coast, Rob is moving west.”

Just before the train arrived, I had been on the verge of telling him that Rob's whereabouts were of less and less interest to me. But the moment passed.

After we boarded, I asked him what his plans were, hoping to turn the conversation away from Rob and me. “Are you going to The Tech in January?”

“No. I've completely changed my plans. I'm going into medicine.”

“Are you talking about the whole nine yards? Are you going to become a doctor?”

“Not sure yet. I've been interested in medicine since I was a boy in India, but I don't just want to practice Western medicine. When I was in hospital in India, Indian troops were segregated from the British troops, mostly because of the diet restrictions of the Moslems and Hindis. I noticed the Indians, who were receiving a combination of Western and Eastern medicine, healed quicker than those who were receiving just Western treatments. Pain management is critical to healing, and Eastern medicine is much better in that area.”

Looking at him in a totally different light, I said, “I know you'll be very good at whatever you decide.” Michael took my hand and squeezed it and asked what I would be doing that weekend.

“I'm supposed to divert your attention, so that you won't know we're giving you a surprise party.

Laughing, Michael said, “I'm looking forward to being diverted.”

I was told to keep Michael busy for at least two hours, so we decided to go to the British Museum while Beth got everything ready for the party. Of all the museums and historical points of interest in London, the British Museum was my favorite, mostly because of the Elgin Marbles.

There had been an ongoing debate since the marbles had been removed from Greece in 1806 as to who owned the friezes taken from the Parthenon atop the acropolis in Athens. Britain's position was that they had “rescued” the marbles from centuries of neglect and mutilation by a series of invaders. Greece's position was much more emotional. Britain had looted its artistic patrimony, and they wanted the marbles back.

I was surprised to find Michael firmly on the side of the British and not the Greek underdog, saying that, if the British had not removed the friezes, people hoping to see them
in situ
in Athens would have found little more than fragments lying on the ground. Although I loved being able to view the friezes, the marbles were remnants of Greece's glorious classical past. Surely, something so emblematic of their country should be returned to the Greeks. We decided to enjoy the marbles and let the Greek and British governments fight it out.

The two hours passed quickly, and I told Michael it was
time to go home to meet his adoring fans. The double doors to the dining room were closed, waiting for the honored guest to arrive. When they were opened, everyone broke into applause, and Michael gave a bravura performance of acting surprised. I was looking around the room at all the people who had come to welcome Michael home when I saw Leo and my boss.

“I don't want to seem rude, but what are you doing here?” I asked Don.

“Beth contacted me, figuring that I could come up with a good-sized turkey for the party. She felt it was only fair that if I supplied the bird, I should be invited.”

Don was going to say more, when Patricia rang the dinner bell and asked all of her guests to be seated. At a signal from Patricia, Andrews and Jim Budd, who had been waiting behind a screen, began to serve fruit cocktail and tomato juice, which was just what I would have had if I had been at home. After the servants cleared the fruit cups, they entered the room carrying dishes of roast turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, green beans, biscuits, and something I never expected to see in England—cranberry sauce. It was when the cranberry sauce was placed in front of me that I realized what was happening. Everyone shouted, “Happy Thanksgiving.” The party hadn't been for Michael but for me, and I started to cry.

Because it had to have been Geoff who told Beth how much I missed the Thanksgiving holiday, I gave him a big kiss. Michael said from across the table, “Hey, wait a minute. I did more than he did. I kept you busy all morning.”

I went around to Michael and kissed him, and he said quietly, “May I have more of that later?”

WHEN I FIRST MOVED in with the Alcotts, Patricia had said I should feel free to have my friends visit, and my most frequent visitor was Pamela. When we had worked in the same office building, Pamela and I had lunch together almost every day. Since Jack had gotten her husband a job on a construction crew resurfacing roads, Troy was frequently away from their home in Stepton, and she didn't like to be alone. With her son cradled in a carrier, she often came to London, and on one of those visits, she came up with a real nugget.

“After the ball, my mum and I were talking, and that's when she told me my granny had been a scullery maid at Montclair, but only for a short time. Her dad had died, but once her mum remarried, she was able to bring her back home. Anyway, you should come up to Stepton and meet Granny. She could tell you what it was like to work at Montclair around 1900.”

As it turned out, I didn't have to go to Stepton because Granny had given Pamela the name of a woman who had also
been in service at Montclair and who lived in London. I told Michael about Dottie, and he asked if he could tag along.

Dottie was living with her daughter in a small flat in a South London neighborhood that had miraculously survived the bombings. She was probably in her midsixties, and like many of her generation, was missing most of her teeth. She was very pleased to meet Michael, the grandson of her former mistress, and throughout the afternoon, kept telling him that he should go to Hollywood because he was “better looking than Cary Grant and Clark Gable put together.” And to me she said, “And you are quite a looker yourself, with your dark hair and blue eyes and nice figger. You two look just like Tyrone Power and Gene Tierney in
The Razor's Edge
. Did you see that one, Luv? It were the first movie I seen after the war.”