SEALs of Honor: Shadow (11 page)

She snuggled under the heavy coat, loving the familiar smell to it, and closed her eyes.

*

“How is she?”

Shadow walked into the camp and straight to the truck. He nodded to Evan who stood at the edge. Markus, who’d followed him back, veered off to talk to Evan. Always alert, always on guard.

Good thing. Too bad he didn’t have good news to report. They hadn’t been able to salvage either of the other two vehicles – or anything of what remained of the cabin. In fact, it was a hell of a mess. He hated to see it. The cabin had been prime in its day. Now it resembled charred toothpicks.

“She’s awake. Cold, hurting and worried.”

“Worried about what?” Shadow frowned at Dane.

“You, you weren’t there when she woke up.”

“And?” Shadow studied the men around him suspiciously. He was often the butt of the jokes in the group but no more than anyone else. Only when the others were grinning at him like he could see them doing now, well, that was guaranteed to set off his radar.

“She woke alone, she was scared,” Mason said in a calm low voice. “And she was worried. About where she was and more so about where you were.”

Shadow turned to look at his friend. “Worried about me?” He raised an eyebrow at the thought. In the physical surroundings he was the last person here she needed to be worried about. “She’s just not feeling well.”

“Ah, it’s more than that,” Cooper said at his side. “She’s sweet on you.”

Shadow shook his head. “Hell no she isn’t. I rescued her, she’s grateful, that’s all.” And he sure didn’t want gratitude from her. Nor did he want her to mistake gratitude as being something more. It wasn’t.

“Go and see her,” Mason said. “Regardless of what’s going on, her mental state is going to have a huge impact on her healing. She needs to know you’re okay. So set her mind at ease.”

With the others grinning, Shadow walked to the big rig and pulled the heavy canvas back. “Ari,” he said, his voice soft, gentle. Damn men. Making him think in one direction as hope blossomed inside. But it wasn’t to be. He knew that. He just had to remember.

“Shadow?” she asked sleepily from under the heavy coat. He stared at the coat. It was his. Trust the guys yet again.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

She sat up, and he couldn’t help but stare. Tear stained cheeks, red puffy eyes, but their vision was clear, direct and warm. Hell. She opened her arms. When he didn’t reach for her, her lower lip trembled. Making him feel like an ass. Too damn bad if the men were watching. He opened his arms and with a small cry she fell into them.

“I was so scared when I woke up,” she confessed against his neck, snuggling close. “I didn’t recognize anyone.”

“We had to go back and check out the condition of the cabin.” And retrieve the bodies of the terrorists. They were stacked off to the side under tarps. There were only two vehicles here. Another was on its way. He moved so he could sit on the tailgate and hold her.

“Is it okay?” she sniffled.

“Well, it’s gone if that’s what you mean,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry for that.”

She smiled up at him. “Thanks. But I have the memories and that’s what is important.”

Pulling back slightly, she asked in a low voice, “Is there any update on my family? Is my father okay?”

He shook his head, hating to not be able to give her the news she needed to hear. “We don’t know anything yet. Communication up here is spotty at best.”

Her face fell, yet she nodded in understanding. He felt like he’d failed.

“It’s okay. I know he’s in good hands, and everyone is doing what they can for him. For all of us,” she said gently.

He sighed. “That attitude will get you walked all over in this world.”

“And sometimes it brings good things. I know there are a lot of growly bear people out there, scammers, and just really bad nastiness, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for people like me.”

“And what are the people like you.”

She smiled and snuggled close. “People who believe in heroes and unicorns, rainbows and chocolate chip ice cream at midnight.” She yawned at the end, and he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. But when he went to ask what any of those things had in common and to ask if she understood unicorns didn’t exist, he heard deep peaceful breathing and tiny delicate snores.

Damn.

He glanced out at the camp the men were tearing down. He should be helping them. But as he glanced down at the angel in his arms, he didn’t want to leave her. In a voice just barely audible, he said, “I’ve never seen unicorns and haven’t met any heroes, but maybe they are possible because until last night, I’d never met a real live angel, either.”

And he dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead.

W
hen she woke
the next time, the pain had dulled to a deep agonizing throb but was no longer the hot searing rage in her leg. But she was alone. And that she was getting to hate.

She’d spent too much of her lifetime alone. In spite of her upbringing, she’d somehow managed to create that Pollyanna attitude that she’d have a good day if she could just believe in it hard enough. And for the most part she was content with her life. It wasn’t awe shattering or full of excitement, but there was something comforting to it. And now she realized the comforting part was the familiar part. She was alone. Somehow that had become the norm, and one she had become satisfied with. She’d been happy in the few relationships she’d had until the men had wanted to move in. That hadn’t been for her. At the time she’d just figured she hadn’t been ready for the commitment.

And she hadn’t been. In that she hadn’t been ready to give up that comfort of what she knew – had known all her life – a solitary lifestyle.

What would it take for her to give that up?

The right man, of course. Because in that way she’d not be giving up anything, she’d be gaining.

Up until then though it seemed like she’d be losing.

So they weren’t the right men.

Shadow stole into her mind. Was he the right man?

Not possible. Look at the differences in their worlds. He wouldn’t want someone like her. He lived in the shadows. She lived in the sunlight. She could take a walk in the shadows but only a short one. She couldn’t live there. She’d have to take the rays of sunshine from her world to warm up the darkness in his.

In his? What was she thinking? He wasn’t for her.

But he could be.

No. He couldn’t be.

Yes. She wiggled with delight. She knew she was living a fantasy in her mind at the thought, but if there was ever anyone who needed her to bring light into his world, it was Shadow.

When his face appeared in front of her she figured she must be dreaming. She beamed at him. “Good morning.”

His response was slow to come. “Good morning, how are you feeling?”

“If I don’t move, fine. Thank you for asking.”

He rolled his eyes, making her grin and prompting her to ask, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” he said. “I’m not the one injured.”

“No,” she said cheerfully, reaching out a hand to cup the side of his face. “But you are the one who’s feeling guilty.”

And damn if a dark stain didn’t wash up his neck.

Oh no. “You shouldn’t feel that way, you know that, right?”

“I left you alone,” he said curtly. “There is no other way to feel.”

“You had more things to do than babysit me. You’re a hot shot sexy SEAL and babysitting is not a required course.”

Again that glance slanted her way.

“Sexy?”

She flushed. She had said that, hadn’t she? Ah well. “It’s the truth,” she admitted. “I’d say all of you are, but then you’ll discount that you aren’t and of course you’re the sexiest man here.”

Surprised and obviously discomforted, he said, “Do you always worry about other people’s feelings like that? It’s got to be wearing.”

“It can be, but I am who I am. Sunshine and roses, remember?”

“Yeah, and what happens when you end up in moonlight instead,” he asked curiously.

And because there was nothing mocking in his tone, she answered, “I usually get depressed until I can cheer myself up.”

“And how’d you do that?”

She realized he was serious. “By listening to music, spending time with friends or Kevin, singing and dancing…” She shrugged. “There are lots of ways.”

He glanced behind them at the work going on.

“What do you do when you get down?” she asked.

Startled, he answered willingly enough. “I tell myself to get over it and get back to work.”

Someone called his name. And he left. Just like that.

She lay back down and realized they needed to get moving. And the sooner the better. She had no idea how long she’d been out, but as she peeked through the back the sun was still rising. Good. They hadn’t been waiting on her. She shifted experimentally, wondering how mobile she was going to be as she desperately needed a bathroom. And of course there was no such thing available. She had no qualms about a walk to a secluded part of the bush except for that
walk
part.

Crouching down was going to be damn near impossible. And she needed to go. As she shuffled her butt to the edge of the truck, she realized she no longer wore her jeans. In dismay she stared down at the oversized sweatpants. Donated by someone on the team most likely. But on her, yeah they were huge. Thankfully whoever had changed her left her panties on. And the leg did move easier in warm loose sweats. But she must look a fool.

She laughed. Oh well, better a warm fool than a cold one.

She lowered her legs over the edge of the tailgate and sat up. The place was full of activity. There were men sitting in another vehicle all handcuffed together. And dressed in khakis. She studied their blank faces, surprised to see any still alive.

The rest of the men appeared to be leaning over the hood of a truck poring over something. A map most likely. She carefully turned and crept down the back of the truck and hobbled to the front. There out of sight, and using the front grill to hold onto, she managed to lower herself on one leg. She quickly went to the bathroom. As she struggled back to the rear of the truck, Shadow stepped into her path.

“You know you could have asked for help.”

She looked at him wryly. “Yeah, to what, wipe my butt?” She grinned.

He smirked. “If need be then yes.”

She shuddered, and quickly said, “No thanks. I was fine.”

“You were going to make sure of it, even if you weren’t, right?”

A bit convoluted but she did finally get it. “Hey, if I can save myself that bit of humiliation, I’m all for it. You’d do the same.”

“I would,” he said immediately. “But if I couldn’t…”

“Right. If I get that bad, I’ll let you know.”
Not
, she added mentally. It would be hard to be in that position. She understood that everyone might need such assistance at one point in time but she’d hope that was at least eighty years away.

And she gave thanks to the world around her that she was in as good a shape as she was. With his help, she got back up on the tailgate so she could sit and watch.

*

He’d watched her
struggle to get down off the truck, her furtive glances to see if anyone was watching. He’d soon realized she’d needed a bathroom break. Something that was much easier in the woods for him than her – especially given her injured leg. He’d waited, trying to give her space and independence and had to grin when she’d returned slowly, painfully, but in one piece.