SEAL's Baby (Navy SEAL Secret Baby Romance) (58 page)

She smiled. “He seemed really sure. He
said he’d like me to come back and tell him if you accept his apology. He says
his name is Kyle, and he is very sorry for the spectacle he made of himself the
last time he saw you.”

Suddenly, my senses were all on high alert
and I felt like my heart actually stopped beating for a few seconds. I turned
around slowly and when my eyes landed on his hazel ones, he smiled and lifted
his glass. I was like hot, liquid adrenaline had been infused into my bloodstream.
My whole being began to tingle. For an entire year after that day in the
restaurant, I put everything I had into being Dylan’s wife – and I had been
happy, for the most part, until the end. I spent the second year mourning
Dylan’s death and wishing that he’d had an easier life. Throughout it all, I
had never stopped dreaming about Kyle and that feeling of something huge
pressing down on me each time I pictured his face never went away. I have no
idea what this was, but even after all this time, it consumed me.

With a shaky hand I picked up my own glass
and raised it in his direction. He smiled and anything left solid inside of me
melted. I’d just come from dedicating my new clinic in my dead husband’s name
and I couldn’t help but question the appropriateness of my feelings. I’d been
in therapy since Dylan died and my therapist kept telling me that I spend too
much time questioning my feelings. You can change how you react to things, but
not how you feel about them.

My heart loves Kyle. No amount of
pretending otherwise would change that, apparently.

*******

“Oh, look, she got a fresh drink and
didn’t order one for us,” Patty told Will when they got back. Rachel was back,
too, with her new cowboy friend, and it was obvious that she was smitten with
him. Before I could say anything, I heard Marlene’s voice.

“Amber, isn’t that Kyle over there?”

“Who’s Kyle?” Belinda asked.

“That’s him?” Rachel said, looking in the
direction that my not so subtle sister Marlene had pointed in. “He’s hot,
Amber.”

“Who is Kyle?” Belinda asked again.

“Does he walk now?” Patty asked.

“Yes, he’s been walking for a long time,”
Marlene answered her.

“Who is Kyle?” Belinda said, a little
louder. Both of my brothers-in-law and the cowboy looked amused. I wanted to
crawl underneath the table and hide.

“He was one of Amber’s patients a couple
of years ago… Do you remember when she was staying with me for a while and she
and Dylan got in that car accident?”

“Yeah.”

“She was seeing Kyle then-”

“Okay! That’s enough about my personal
life. Let’s find a bigger table and get everyone a fresh drink,” I tried.

“So what happened? He is really cute!”
Belinda said. Her husband cleared his throat. “Oh hush Lyle. I’ve been married
to you for thirteen years. If I haven’t run off with a hot cowboy by now it’s
not going to happen.”

“She went back to Dylan.” Marlene said.

“
She
is sitting right here!” I interjected. “Please stop talking about me like I’m
not in the room. Everyone listen up because I’m only saying this once, okay?
Kyle was a patient; we dated for a minute while Dylan and I were having
problems. I haven’t seen him in two years and the last time I did see him, he
was in a relationship. I’m not ready to start over anyways, so all of you big
sisters can forget whatever it is you’re thinking. Now, let’s find a table and
get another drink.” I downed the one that Kyle bought me. My sisters were
looking at each other and my brothers-in-law were staring at the floor.
Everyone picked up their things and followed me to an empty table closer to the
dance floor.

Once we all sat down Rachel said, “This is
Mark, guys.” We all said hello to Mark and then she said, “Why don’t you just
go talk to him. He looks like he’s alone.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “I thought we
were dropping the whole Kyle subject.”

“Oh, that’s not what I heard,” she said.
She looked at our other sisters. “Is that what you heard?” They all shook their
heads. I decided talking to Kyle would have to be less painful than this.

“I’ll be right back,” I said. “And, none
of you better think I’m doing this because you told me to.”

Marlene laughed. “Why would we think that?
Since when have you ever done anything that anyone told you to?” I rolled my
eyes at her and walked towards Kyle. I had to turn sideways in some places to
get through all the people. His warm hazel eyes never left my face. He stood up
when I was about two feet away.

“Hi, Amber.”

“Hey, Kyle. Fancy meeting you here…” That
might go down in history as the stupidest thing I’ve ever said. Kyle looked
amused.

“How are you?”

I nodded. I was not exactly good, but I
was getting better. Kyle didn’t need to hear my depressing story tonight,
however, so I said, “I’m good. How are you?”

“Good. Still healthy. Do you want to sit
down for a minute?”

“Sure, thanks. Are you here alone?”

“With Greg, but you know how that goes… I
haven’t seen him since we walked in. He’s spreading the love.”

“Of course, he is.”

“What about you? Who are you here with?”

“My sisters and their husbands.”

His eyes went to the wedding ring on my
left hand that I still wear and he said, “And your husband? Where is he?”

“Dylan passed away a year ago.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE

KYLE

As soon as what she just said penetrated
my head, regret washed over me in long, slow waves. Each wave sent a shiver
down my spine and I longed to be able to go back in time and change things that
I had said and done and even things that I’d thought…right up until the very
second she said that he was dead.

Dylan was a young man. He was even younger
than me. So many times I had wished horrible things… I wished that he would
spiral out of control with his addictions again. I wished that he would cheat
on Amber and she would catch him. I wished that he would just up and abandon
her the way my mother had us and then I could swoop in and pick up the pieces.
Now that I knew he was really gone, all I felt was this nagging regret that
he’d had to spend some of his last days here on earth knowing another man was
in love with his wife.

“Jesus, Amber…I’m so sorry.”

She smiled, but it looked sad. “Thank you.
They say it gets easier with time, but sometimes I think time only allows you
the ability to remember how many opportunities you had to make someone’s life
better…and you didn’t do it.”

“Amber, I probably have no right at all to
speak to this, but I can’t imagine that being married to you in the last days
of his life didn’t make it better.”

She smiled again. “That’s sweet, thank
you. So what have you been up to?” I could tell she wanted to change the
subject and I was okay with that. I had a lot of questions about Dylan and how
he died, but none of it was my business. I would be the last person he would
want her talking to…much less, about him.

“I’ve been working on a hotel project with
an architect and contractor from Italy. They’re bringing their luxury hotels to
the U.S. and actually building the first one here in Dallas. We break ground on
it next week. It’s kept me really busy for the past six months or so, but it’s
been such a great learning experience, not to mention that having international
connections never hurt anyone, either.”

“Wow, that’s fantastic. I’d love to see
some of your designs sometime.”

“Really?
 
Or are you just being nice?”

She laughed. “Really. I actually bought a
building downtown this past year. I don’t have the money yet, but when I get
enough, there are a lot of changes I’d like to make to it. It would be fun to
see what you’ve done with other buildings and get some ideas.”

“Well then, I’d love to show them to you.
What did you buy a building for?”

“I opened a clinic-”

“Wow, that’s great! You opened your own
physical therapy clinic?”

“No, I actually still work a couple of
days a week at Dr. Bowen’s clinic. Joyce took over the full-time spot. I used
the money Dylan’s life insurance paid out to open a clinic in his name for
alcohol and drug dependence. I’m obviously not running it. I hired people who
are trained to do that, but I plan on going back to school and getting an
education on it myself.”

“That’s really amazing, Amber. Since I
didn’t know Dylan I won’t speak for him, but I know if it was me, I’d be so
proud of you.”

She kind of laughed and said, “Thanks. I
like to think he’d be happy with how I spent the money.” Laughing again, she
said, “But, the truth is if he were here he’d say,
‘Are you crazy? Take that money and go lay on a beach somewhere with a
beer in your hand.’”
Her pretty green eyes got watery when she talked about
him and my heart hurt for her – and him, too.

 
I
smiled and said, “You have a good heart and a lot of people are going to be
better off because of it. Me, on the other hand… I spent the bonus I got on
this big job on a car and a motorcycle.”

She laughed. “A motorcycle? Are you even
supposed to be driving?”

“Jeez! Now you sound like Greg. It’s been
two years since I was sick. Look at me, I’m all healthy now.” She ran her eyes
over me and I swear to God I felt the heat. I also felt my unruly cock twitch
in my jeans. I mentally willed it to go down.

“What kind of car did you get?”

“A Dodge Charger. She’s gun-barrel gray
with a V-8 and leather interior…”

Laughing she said, “I was just about to
ask if you were seeing anyone these days, but you sound so orgasmic talking
about your car I doubt you have room left for anyone else.”

At the sound of the word “orgasmic” coming
off her lips, my cock twitched again. I made a face at her and said, “You have
to see it and then you’ll know what I’m talking about,” then I quickly added,
“No, I’m not seeing anyone. But I also have the Harley. She makes me
multi-orgasmic.”

“Who are we talking about? I have to meet
this girl.” I looked up into Greg’s blue eyes. He was grinning, of course. I
wanted to tell him to go away. Amber smiled up at him and said,

“Hello, Greg. He’s talking about his
Harley and as interesting as she sounds, I think I should get back over to my
sisters. It was so good to see you, Kyle.”
Jesus,
I don’t want her to walk away.
My heart was slamming against my chest and
my hands were shaking. If she walked away now, who knew when I might see her
again. She looked at Greg and said, “It was good to see you, too, Greg.”

“Yeah…you, too.” Greg was looking at her
butt. I kicked him under the table.

“Bye, Kyle.” Greg glared at me when I
kicked him, but he was staring at me as she walked away, prompting me to do
something. I couldn’t do anything right now, though. She’d just told me her
husband is dead. She’s still wearing his wedding ring… How slimy would it be
for me to swoop in now?

“Bye, Amber. It was really good talking to
you.” She smiled again and my temperature rose ten degrees. She turned then and
walked towards her family. I watched her as Greg was saying something. I had no
idea what it was. Nobody else existed for me at that moment other than Amber.
I’d made the mistake before of convincing myself that it was only some freak
chemical reaction that happened between us, but in my heart, I knew it was more
than that.

I was in love with her and I had been all
along.

*******

I let a week go by, telling myself that I’d stop thinking
about her every second the way I had in the past, but it wasn’t working. I was
consumed by thoughts of her just like I had been before. I took out my phone
and called her old number. It was disconnected. Next, I called the physical
therapy clinic.

“Bowen PT Clinic, how can I help you?”

“Hi, I was wondering if Amber Reed was in today?”

“No, I’m sorry, she’s not here today. Can I take a message?”

“No…thanks.” I hung up and asked Siri for listings for new
rehab facilities in the area. She gave me about five of them in a twenty mile
radius, but only one was called The Dylan Scott Memorial Foundation. That had
to be the one. It was downtown like she’d said, too. I had no idea if I’d find
her there or how she’ll feel about me showing up, but I had to try.

I had ridden the Harley to work this morning, so I was on it
when I went to see her. On a whim, I stopped by the Harley dealership and
bought another helmet, a smaller one.

When I found her building, I was impressed. It was one of the
older buildings downtown. It was five stories high and had its own parking
garage in the back. It was so old that it would probably need a lot of work in
the coming up years, but it was one of those buildings built to last for
decades, so she’d picked a good one. I locked the helmets onto the bike and
went inside. It was quiet in the lobby, but a young woman sat at a desk behind
a computer. There was a picture behind her of a man riding a bull. Dylan, I
presumed. I felt another sharp pang of guilt.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“I was hoping I could find Amber Reed in.”

“You mean Mrs. Scott?”

Shit, she was married
. I had forgotten. I looked up at the
man on the bull and the guilt shot through me again. I had to do this though or
I was going to lose my mind. “Yes, I’m sorry. Amber Scott.”

She smiled. “That’s fine. Have a, seat and I’ll see if she’s
available.”

I sat down and looked around the rest of the large lobby.
There were large framed photographs along the top of one entire wall. They were
all of Dylan, I thought, doing what he did in the rodeo. There was a mission
statement plaque that said,
“To serve
those in the community who are struggling with substance addictions and to
ensure support for those who love them, as well.”

“Kyle?”

“Hi!” I jumped to my feet.
God she’s beautiful
. “I’m sorry to stop by like this.”

“It’s okay… What are you doing here?” she didn’t look too
disappointed to see me, so that was promising.

“I just…I let you get away the other night and I didn’t ask
you if you had the same number or anything. You don’t… I don’t want that to be
the last time I see you…” I was talking way too fast. I took a deep breath and
continued, “Look, I don’t know what you want or what you’re looking for at this
point of your life – if anything – but if all you can offer me is just a simple
friendship, I’ll take it. I’ve lived completely without you for two years and I
know now that I don’t want to do that again.”

I breathed a sigh of relief when she smiled. “I’d like to be
your friend. I’m not sure myself what I’m ready for, or even what I want for
the future. But, I missed you.”

I was grinning like an idiot now. “So, are you busy right
now?” I’d been worried that I’d find her in a dress and heels. She was wearing
a pair of soft boots and jeans.

She looked at her watch. “I was going to take off at five.”
It was about four forty now. “Let me just go up and tell them I’m leaving.
We’re just getting the offices in order upstairs. What did you have in mind?” I
couldn’t really tell her what was on my mind – not now anyways. It wasn’t rated
R, that’s for sure. I told myself that wasn’t going to happen and to let it go
and I said,

“I want to take you for a ride on my bike.”

“Your bike…your motorcycle?”

I grinned. “Yes. Do you trust me?”

“Um…”

“Really? That hurts.”

She laughed. “Okay, but please don’t kill me. I just opened this
clinic…”

I held up my hand, “Scout’s honor,” I said.

She giggled. “I don’t have a helmet.”

“Taken care of. Any other excuses?”

“Unfortunately I can’t think of one,” she said with a grin.

*******

Holding the vibrating motorcycle between your legs is an
exhilarating feeling, but doing that with a soft, gorgeous woman pressed into
your back is ecstasy. I could tell she was gripping me so tightly mostly
because she was scared, but the feel of her breasts against my back was so good
that I didn’t care why they were there.

I took the Northwest Highway to where it met Mockingbird and
Peavy and pulled off into the small park there. I stopped the bike and asked
Amber, “Do you want to take a walk with me?”
“Sure.” I helped her off the bike and took her hand. It felt as good to hold
her hand as it did to have her cuddled up to me on the bike. I just wanted to
touch her – any part of her. I may have already started off with a lie when I
told her I could handle just being her friend. I’m not so sure that I really can.

There was a point if you walked up about a mile where you
could see the whole city. The sun was just going down, and I thought it would
be a beautiful place for us to just sit and catch up. We walked in silence
until we got to the top and then I heard her gasp. From where we stood, we had
a perfect view of the sun dipping down behind the mountains. The sky was ablaze
with oranges, reds, and yellows and as she looked out on it, I looked at her.
Her green eyes were dancing and I think in the entire time that I’d known her
I’d never seen her so truly at peace.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” I hadn’t meant to say that again, but
God, she was the most incredibly beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. She
looked over at me and smiled.

“Thank you.” She suddenly let go of my hand and dropped down
to sit on a rock. I sat down next to her on the dirt and we once again sat in
silence. After some time had passed and the sun was almost completely gone from
the sky, she said, “Dylan was killed riding a bull. I always thought it sounded
silly when people said at least they died doing what they loved, but I
understand it now. It’s for us, not them. It’s how we ease our own pain.”

“I’m sorry, Amber. Were you there?”

She nodded. “Yeah…it was, horrible, to say the least. I know
that I made so many mistakes with you and with Dylan. It’s hard to explain, but
I’d really like to try, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I fell in love with Dylan when I was just a girl. We grew up
together, only somewhere along the way, I think maybe I grew up a little faster
than him…or maybe just differently. When I met you, it was like the universe
had conspired to take everything I ever wanted in a man and build him, and then
put him in front of me and say, ‘Don’t touch.’ I was ready to do whatever I had
to do in order to have you, though, the universe and everything else be damned.

“Only, I was so torn up inside the whole time. Although I
assuaged my conscience by never doing anything with you once Dylan and I were
back together, I never stopped wanting you or thinking about you. But there was
still that girl inside of me who had grown up with all of these dreams about
marrying her childhood sweetheart. I thought because that’s what I’d wanted
longer and that’s what I’d promised him longer, marrying him and making it work
was what I had to do. Sometimes, I wonder if I’d only just left him, if he
would still be alive.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

AMBER

“Unless you put him on that bull against his will, Amber,
there is no way what happened was your fault.” Poor Kyle looked at a loss for
what to say. I wasn’t looking for his sympathy. I was just hoping to clear the
air once and for all and begin with a clean slate.

“Rationally, I know that,” I told him, “But it’s still hard
not to wonder. I don’t struggle with it as often anymore, but it’s kind of
there in the periphery. Then, I had all of these guilty feelings about you. You
were going through this horrible thing, you had a tumor in your brain. I came
along and instead of helping you, I only confused you and then I left you…”

“We were both confused, Amber. I knew that I wanted you, but
I didn’t feel like I had any right to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do
about Dylan. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was in love with you and
I didn’t want to share you with him.”

He said he was in love with me. He never told me that before
– if he had, I may have not been able to leave him. “You were in love with me?”

He laughed and said, “Head over heels in love. I was engaged
to the girl you saw me with in the restaurant that day for a while. We were
supposed to get married last month. I broke it off in May because there was no
way I was ever going to love her the way I love you and that just wasn’t fair.”

I felt tears spring up in my eyes, both from him telling me
he loves me and the thought that I almost very narrowly missed any chance that
I might ever have with him. “At least you knew that and you didn’t go through
with it.”

He laughed again and said, “I’m kind of dense, actually. I
didn’t know it, at first. I mean I knew I loved you and I knew I loved Callie,
but I wasn’t in love with her. I was crazy in love with you. If not for my
sister’s brilliant powers of deduction, I may be married right now. Callie is a
good woman and I’m sure that I wouldn’t have been miserable married to her, but
there was always going to be a part of me that wanted you.”

I swallowed hard and then I did something I’d been thinking
about non-stop this entire past week… I slid down off of the rock and sat
between his long legs and then I leaned back into him. I just needed to touch
him and feel him touch me. He automatically put his big, warm hands on my
stomach and held me there. It felt so comfortable and right, but there was
something else there, too. There was that live wire that hung between us all
the time. I turned slightly so my face was right next to his and then using one
arm, I pulled his head down so that our lips met. My breath caught in my throat
and my pulse began to throb. “Kiss me, Kyle,” I whispered in a husky voice and
before I’d even finished saying his name he pressed his full lips hard into
mine. He opened my mouth with his tongue and searched for mine. The years we
spent apart fell away and we were left stripped down to our raw emotion and I
kissed him until neither one of us could breathe…and I was left wanting so much
more.