SEAL The Deal (24 page)

“I certainly will.”

She left messages for the escrow officer and the lender. Satisfied there wasn’t anything else she could do, she went to join Nick in the reception area.

She heard him talking to someone, and couldn’t mistake the laughter of several young women in response. She found him in the center of a bevy of young staffers and newbie agents, all asking questions about the teams and wanting to know if he’d been part of the Bin Laden raid.

“Nope, I’m on a different team.” He sneaked a smile in Devon’s direction as she watched heads turn toward her. She knew her chest was splotchy red and her cheeks flushed. Nick saved the day and got the attention off her. “Well, ladies,” the crowd shifted to regard him, “my
ride
is here,” he said in that damned sexy way of his The girls uniformly sighed.

He opened the door for her and the real world came crashing in on them both. The heaviness lurking in the outer reaches of her mind came forward into full focus.

Sophie.

Chapter 25

Devon got a call from the well inspector on their way to visit Sophie at the hospital. The report had been sent to her computer and she’d print it out later.

She wasn’t sure what she expected when they got to Sophie’s new room, but it was obvious her best friend was fast becoming a mere shadow of herself. It worried her how rapidly Sophie was crashing.

Dr. Harris met them at Sophie’s bedside in her private room. Her friend’s eyes had become sunken, and when she searched their faces, there was something else there Devon had never seen before.

Fear.

Devon swallowed hard. The reality that her best friend’s life was ebbing rapidly away hit her square in the stomach.

She felt Nick’s hand grip hers harder. It was difficult for him, too. His huge chest was jerking with ragged sounds he was trying to hide. She realized suddenly that perhaps he needed her strength. It must have been new territory for him. Not the death part, but the part about losing Sophie.

And not being able to do anything about it.

Dr. Harris had finished checking Sophie over. His expression was grim. He shook his head to Nick very discreetly, but Sophie saw it.

“Don’t hide this from me. Don’t I got a right to know what’s going on?”

“No one’s hiding anything,” Nick started. He knelt on the linoleum floor at her bedside, taking her emaciated hand in his huge paws. He kissed her like she was a queen. He placed her palm against his face, as if to say,
Come back, sis. Don’t leave me.

Devon reached out to rub Sophie’s toes through the blanket, not knowing what else to do. Sophie pulled her eyes from her brother’s bowed head, his face buried into her palm on the bed, and glanced up at Devon with that almost whimsical expression.

“Devon, I can’t feel my toes. Come here so I can feel the warmth of your hands.”

Devon lost it.  She ran to Sophie’s bedside. “God, Sophie,” she sobbed. “You gotta hang on. It’s too soon.”

Sophie looked down on her with kindness as she stroked Devon’s hair like a mother would pet a small child. “No, sweetheart. It’s too late.” Then she looked over at Nick, and she pulled their hands together across her lap. She placed both her hands on top of their entwined fingers. “But you have your whole life ahead of you. You were made for each other. Biggest mistake of my life was looking for Mr. Perfect instead of Mr. Right.”

Devon’s hot tears stained the white, loosely-woven hospital blanket. She wished she could trade places with Sophie. Through her tears, she saw Nick  stare downward at the face of his sister. His jaw muscles were rippling, and she could see he was grinding his teeth. When he looked up at her, his hardness, his shell of composure was gone. His green eyes were vacant and the sparkle was missing. She rubbed her thumb over his fingers. Her own tears dried up as she gave him back what she had. She remembered what she’d said earlier,
I can only give you what I’ve got.

She wondered if it would be enough.

“She’s got to rest now. We’ll call you in the morning,” Dr. Harris said to the two of them. He smiled down on Sophie.

“No. Let them stay awhile. I don’t want them to go,” Sophie pleaded, her eyes wildly searching from face to face in front of her.

“Hon, you’ve got to build your strength. Tomorrow I have more tests ordered,” the doctor said.

“Enough of the tests! If I was 90, you wouldn’t be doing so much to try to keep me alive. I want to go home to my nursery, Doc.  Let them take me home.”

“Tomorrow. You can go home tomorrow.”

“You want me to stay, Sophie?” Devon asked. She could see worry lines pop across Sophie’s forehead and knew she was wrestling with the decision. Sophie was concerned she’d not see them again. It broke Devon’s heart.

“Let’s stay, Nick. Let’s stay tonight with Sophie.”

He nodded, trying to hold tears at bay. His bottom lip quivered as he leaned back. He stood and patted Sophie’s hand, the one that held Devon’s.

“I’ll get another bed brought in here. It’s going to be tight quarters,” Dr. Harris said.

“I’ll go help. Be right back,” Nick said to the floor.

Sophie patted the bed for Devon to sit there. “Something about Nick. He has those places he goes. Very scary places. I saw it when he came back from his first tour. I’d seen it when our parents died, but I didn’t recognize it. He will have a hard time with all this,” she said as she opened her palms and drew her arms out to the side.

“You’re not going anywhere, Sophie. Please don’t talk that way.”

“Oh, shut up and listen for once, Devon. I can’t say these things in front of him. He has an unhealed wound from Mom and Dad’s problems, and then their deaths. He wanted to save the house and couldn’t. He was in high school and there wasn’t anything he could have done, but he holds himself responsible for Dad’s death. After our dad died, Mom just lost the will to live. And Nick has that same affliction. You’re going to have to rescue him, Devon, because he won’t ask for help.”

Devon had never thought of Nick as needy in any way. He was always the teacher, always the one in charge. It didn’t seem like the Nick she knew, to not be in control. She thought perhaps Sophie was delusional.

“Remember what I told you,” Sophie said as they heard wheels rattling down the hospital corridor. “Rescue him. He needs to have someone to believe in. Someone to live for.”

She nodded. “I understand.”

“Devon, it’s going to be rough. He’s going to want to shut you out. You just don’t let him do that. I don’t worry about you, my friend.” In a whisper she said, “I worry about him.”

“I promise.”

“Promise what?” Nick said as he wheeled the folded bed inside the room. Harris was on the other side and pushed as Nick guided it next to Sophie’s.

“I wanted her to promise she’d keep me up to date on the fire investigation.”

Devon watched as they placed the bed next to Sophie’s and opened it up, carefully avoiding the equipment. A yellow blanket and two pillows were in the middle of the mattress. She looked up at her friend.

“So you, see, Sophie, we won’t leave you tonight. We’ll take turns,” she said as she glanced up at Nick, who still avoided eye contact.

“Listen, I’m going to have a little chat with Nick and Devon, explain the house rules. You try to take a catnap, okay, Miss Dunn?”

Devon’s heart lurched at the way he said “Miss.” She followed the two men outside into the hallway as Dr. Harris closed the door behind him.

“She’s very fragile. Honestly, she’s going downhill very quickly, guys. I wish I had better news for you.”

“How long will she be here?” Nick asked.

Dr. Harris looked down at his feet and then faced his Navy buddy. “I can’t in good conscience release her.”

The reality of what he said finally sunk into Devon. “You mean—?”

“I’m afraid so. She doesn’t want anything heroic done. She’s not fighting. I’m pretty sure she’s not in pain. She has a tough outer skin, but inside she’s caved. She’s given up. Unless you can convince her. Prayer works. Not much else we can do, since her kidneys are failing, and there’s nothing I can give her for that. Kind of out of our hands. Best get yourselves adjusted to what is coming.”

Nick cleared his throat and spoke in a soft voice that cracked like a teenager’s. “How soon, Doc?”

Harris shook his head. “No way to tell, really. Just enjoy every minute you can. But let her rest, too. She needs her rest. But one of those naps—” he swung his heavy-lidded eyes between the two of them, “will be permanent, if she’s lucky.”

Nick’s chest heaved as he stood to attention. She saw the muscles in his throat constrict. She saw how deliberately he drew in his breath and let it out several times, calming himself, reaching for control. Her heart felt crammed between the grief of losing Sophie and the heartache of seeing the effect it was having on him. Sophie had been right.

What was coming next was going to be worse for Nick than for her.

He said little. He stood at the foot of the bed, his mouth a straight line, when he normally softened his full lips that would curl up at one corner or the other at the slightest provocation. He never looked Devon’s way, but gazed down on the sleeping form of his sister.

Devon wanted to touch his hand, hug him, but she kept her distance, dimly aware that something was smoldering inside him, something dark and extremely dangerous.

She could handle the dark and dangerous part. She knew she could. What she found the most difficult was that he wasn’t in the least bit interested in talking to her. It was as if she a stranger, like one of the nurses.

Should I try to intervene in that no-man’s land? Should I tell him how sorry I am?

Unsure what else to do, she stepped next to him and held his hand. Nick flinched at her touch, as if he hadn’t realized she’d been standing there. He squeezed, but it was that of a scared child, and not something reassuring, warm, not acknowledging anything other than the fact that she’d touched him. He was holding on to her. Maybe that was going to be all she could give him right now.

She leaned into his shoulder, hoping perhaps he’d raise his arm and hold her, but he stiffly watched his sister’s breathing. She wanted to lay her head on his chest and hold him. Wanted to rub her hands over his shoulders. Tell him there was going to be a happy ending. Tell him it was okay to cry or show his feelings, but she knew that was a complete mistake. So she held his hand, felt the heat of this gentle giant, who was in pain, and there wasn’t anything she could do to help.

“I’m going down the hall to use the restroom,” she whispered.

He didn’t look at her, but nodded his head and released her hand.

“Okay, then,” she said as she pressed her hair back from her face and wiped the tracks of tears from her cheeks. “I’ll be right back.”

She turned at the door, “Nick, you want anything?”

He looked at her finally, and she saw the vacant eyes of a hollow soul. God, how she wanted to hold him, but there was something there that told her it wasn’t safe, and she desperately didn’t want to be sent away. If she was quiet enough, maybe eventually he’d talk to her.

She let herself out of the room, the door softly closing behind her. She found the public restroom down the hall, and before she could lock the door she was already sobbing. She sat on the closed toilet lid and put her face in her hands and let loose all the tears she’d been holding in. Her breath hitched, her ribs convulsing as wave after wave of pain washed over her.

She looked across the sink to the mirror on the wall. She was not only losing Sophie. She was losing Nick, too.

She thought about what Sophie had said.
Rescue him. He needs to have someone he can believe in, live for.

She took a deep breath and finally focused on her red face in the mirror. Could she do this? Could she be strong enough for both of them? Or—and her eyes began to fill with tears again—could she survive the loss of both of them? Her life had opened up to some of the most wonderful, magical days she’d ever experienced, and she’d missed him when he went back to San Diego. What if he wanted to go back home and not see her again? Could she handle it, if that’s what he wanted? If she couldn’t convince him otherwise?

I honestly don’t know.

She put cold water on her face and ran fingers through her hair, fluffing it out at the sides. She said a little silent prayer with her eyes closed. She had to go back and face them both, and she loved them with her whole heart.

Both of them.

When she got back to the room, Nick was lying down on the bed next to Sophie, holding her hand. He’d removed his shoes and curled in an S with his muscled arm lying down the length of his body. He barely looked up, but gave Devon a forced smile, at least.

She got out the yellow blanket and unfolded it over his beautiful warrior’s body. “Why don’t you rest while she is? Let me stand guard for a bit,” she said to him. He nodded, rubbing Sophie’s fingers with his thumb the same way he’d rubbed her fingers just hours before.

Sophie remained very pale for the next hour, and didn’t stir. Devon suspected she’d been given a light sedative to keep her calm. She remembered how Sophie had slept fitfully in the past weeks, and this wasn’t anything like that.

She picked up a magazine from the counter and sat back in the comfortable recliner, watching brother and sister napping. She imagined what they must have looked like as children. She suspected they’d been close even as youngsters. She could imagine them playing in the sand at one of the San Diego beaches, eating sandwiches barefoot in the summertime at a picnic table on a green lawn somewhere. She imagined what Nick’s caramel-colored hair looked like with his deep green eyes. Or, maybe he was a towhead? Sophie’s reddish-brown hair would have been unkempt and unruly, kept too long. She could see her insisting her mother leave it long. That would be so much like Sophie. And she’d keep brushing it out of her eyes but would never tie it up. She probably looked like a wild child growing up.

Sophie opened her eyes and stared back at her, smiling.