Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance (7 page)

Lacy looked at her then and was surprised when Savannah squeezed her shoulder. She smiled again, feeling the warmth and generosity of another Braden. She watched Savannah leave the room and took a deep breath.

“She’s so nice to me,” she said.

“She likes you. I can tell.” Dane placed his hand beneath her chin and lifted her face so she was looking into his eyes. “I like you.”

She smiled and dropped her eyes.
I like you too—too much
. They sat quietly for the next few minutes, the boat moving swiftly, the gentle rocking soothing Lacy’s worry.

“It was a shark,” she said, touching her scar. “I was seven.”

“I wondered,” he said, and covered her hand with his.

“Why?”

“At first I wasn’t sure. It could have been a rock-climbing accident, or maybe a viscous fight with sandpaper—that you lost. I work with sharks, Lacy. There isn’t much I haven’t seen.”

“Right.”
Of course you’d know
.

“It could have been a hundred things, but when I saw your reaction to Savannah’s comments and the way you reached for your scar. You were kicking your feet, thrashing around like you were swimming, which is very different from running, I might add.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“We were in Bora Bora, at this restaurant, which was more like a hut on stilts. I jumped into the water next to the kitchen.” Her eyes remained trained on her scar.

“And that’s where they threw the excess and rotten fish and meat, which drew the sharks,” he said.

“How did you know?”
How did my parents not know?

“You’re talking about twenty years ago, on a remote island. It’s not like the United States, where everything is micromanaged. I’ve done a lot of research, Lacy. There’s little that I haven’t heard about or seen when it comes to sharks.” He placed his hand on her scar, and when she tried to move it away, he held firm. “Sharks don’t go looking for humans, Lace. You were in their chum bucket. I wish you would have told me.”

So you could end it before we even got started? You can’t get serious with someone who is afraid of sharks
. “I didn’t realize I was
that
afraid,” she said honestly.

“You went into the water seamlessly in Nassau.”

He held her gaze, and Lacy could see that he was waiting for an explanation of some sort. She sifted through her mind, reaching for something, anything that might explain why the fear returned at that moment—but she drew a blank and finally looked away. “I don’t understand any of it.”
But I know now that it’s a problem—a big problem
.

“We’re all afraid of something,” he said.

Lacy inched away from the safety of his arms. It wasn’t fair to allow him to be close to her. After what she’d just experienced, she was keenly aware that the fear was bigger than any emotion she could control. Or maybe even overcome. Dane deserved to be with someone he could share his life with, and his life meant his work, his travels—his career.
I can’t let myself fall for you any more than I already have. We can’t be together. I can’t ruin your life. God help me
.

 IN THE SAFETY of her room at the inn, Lacy flopped across her bed facedown and buried her head under a pillow. Less than five minutes later, she was startled by several frantic knocks on the door. She groaned into the mattress.

“I know you’re in there, Lacy. Open up.”

Kaylie
.

“Go away,” Lacy yelled into the mattress. She didn’t really want Kaylie to go away, but she didn’t want to get up from the safety of her hiding place. If only she could hide there forever.

“Open up or I’ll tell housekeeping that I’m afraid you’re committing suicide and they’ll open the door.”

Lacy reluctantly climbed off the bed and threw the door open. “You are such a drama queen.”

Kaylie rushed in, grabbed Lacy’s hand, and pulled her over to the bed, where they sat side by side.

“How did you even know I was here?” Lacy asked, wanting to crawl beneath her covers and hide again.

Kaylie’s skin had already turned golden brown from just one afternoon in the sun. She wore her hair in a high ponytail, which swung from side to side with each of her fast movements. “Savannah texted Josh and told him that Hugh was bringing the boat in and asked him to find me and Danica. She was worried about you.”

Lacy groaned and fell backward on the bed, covering her face with her hands. “I’m mortified.”

Kaylie got up to answer another knock at the door.

“Where is she?” Danica pushed past Kaylie and rushed to Lacy’s side. “Are you okay? How are you feeling? What happened?”

“Give her time to breathe,” Kaylie said with a sigh.

“I just want to go home.” Lacy sat up and faced her sisters’ concerned glares.

“You poor girl,” Danica said. She sat down beside Lacy and wrapped her arm around her shoulder.

“She had a panic attack. She didn’t break a leg,” Kaylie said. She plopped down next to Lacy. “She’s embarrassed, not hurt. She flipped out in front of Dane. Wouldn’t you be embarrassed?”

“May I just remind you that I passed out on my wedding day?” Danica cast a harsh glare at Kaylie.

“Yeah, yeah. And I went into labor at my baby shower.” Kaylie’s twins, Lexi and Trevor, were now three years old.

“Can we focus on me for a minute?” Lacy said louder than she meant to. “Danica, what the hell happened to me? Savannah was talking about seeing sharks, and suddenly I was seven years old again. I don’t get it. After twenty years? Why did it all come back like that?” Lacy shook her head and twisted out from between her sisters. She rose to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest, pacing in her cover-up and bathing suit. “What am I going to do now?”

“What do you mean? It’s almost four o’clock. Shower, dress, and we’ll go to the family function, have dinner, and move past it,” Kaylie said. She walked to Lacy’s closet. “Want me to help you get ready?”

“Jesus, Kay. Give her a minute to figure this out.” Danica rose and leaned against the dresser. “Lacy, it was a panic attack. That’s not all that uncommon, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Oh, right. A guy like Dane doesn’t need to deal with a girl who’s afraid of the one thing he deals with every day. A guy like Dane doesn’t need someone who freaks out without any warning. A guy like Dane—” Lacy swallowed past the growing lump in her throat. When had she begun to care so much?

Danica stood before her, stopping her from her frantic pacing. “A guy like Dane cared enough to ask me to check on you.”

“A guy like Dane is lucky to date you, sis,” Kaylie said. “I don’t care if he’s gorgeous and wealthy. You’re stunning, smart, funny, and incredibly sexy.” She winked, and Lacy couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re my sisters. You’re supposed to make me feel better.” She covered her face with her hands and groaned.

 “Don’t worry. I’m right here, and I’ll stay with you all night if you need me to,” Danica assured her.

 “What if it wasn’t a panic attack? What if it’s something else? Something worse?” She gasped a breath. “What if—”

Danica grabbed her shoulders. “Breathe, honey, or you’ll end up all anxious again. This all makes sense.”

“Did he really ask you to check on me?”
Of course he did
. She thought of the concern she’d heard in his voice and the empathy she’d seen in his eyes when she’d regained her focus on the boat.

“He really did,” Danica answered.

“He probably wanted to make sure that I wasn’t an insurance liability,” Lacy snapped. She didn’t believe her own words, but she couldn’t allow herself to continue to think about Dane as a prospective boyfriend and lover anymore. It would be a mistake to get any closer to him. She needed to forget how comfortable things were between them and the way he was so attentive to her. Lacy had to let him go. She couldn’t be a noose around his neck, and the last thing she wanted was to be around sharks now that she knew how deeply the fear was seeded. She had to concentrate on getting home, where she could lose herself in her work and focus on things other than the feel of his lips on her skin or the strength of his arms as he held her.
Stop it!

“Oh please. That man needs to worry about insurance like you need to worry about your hair being too straight,” Kaylie teased.

Danica shook her head at Kaylie’s lighthearted comment. “Lacy, panic attacks can be managed. I know this probably scared you, but you can learn to deal with your fears.”

Lacy shook her head. She was too confused to deal with any of that right then. When she closed her eyes, she saw Dane. She smelled his cologne; she felt his touch. When she opened them, the overwhelming panic that consumed her on the boat came rushing back. She wished she could walk the fine line in the middle without teetering toward either side, but that was unrealistic, and Lacy saw that as clearly as she saw no way out of attending the family function in less than an hour.

“I don’t know, Danica. I was totally blindsided by this. I realized today that all those trips my mom took me on in the summers, trips to the library, museums—everywhere but to the beach—they were probably guided by a well-defined plan to keep me from freaking out. I can’t go with Dane tonight.” Lacy clenched her teeth and reached for her phone.

Kaylie grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks. “Before you get too wrapped up in all of this, don’t you think you should talk to Dane about it? I mean, the guy probably knows a zillion people who are afraid of sharks. He might not be put off by this at all.”

Lacy stared into her older sister’s eyes, which usually looked so much like her own, but at that moment, Kaylie’s eyes held hope, while Lacy knew hers reflected a brick wall that she was unwilling to force her way through.

She pulled her arm free. “Kaylie, I’ve seen him once in fifteen months. I’m nothing more than a blip on his radar screen—and a short blip at that.” Lacy turned away before her sisters could see the tears in her eyes.

BY THE TIME her sisters left, they’d convinced her to go with Dane to the family function to say goodbye to Treat, Max, and the rest of their friends in person. She’d barely had time to shower and dress. She stood before the mirror in her gold cocktail dress thinking about the day she’d bought it. She’d thought it would be the perfect combination of formfitting sexy and classy coloring to hold Dane’s attention, and now, as she surveyed herself in the mirror, sadness clung to her heart and hung in the dullness in her eyes.

Her cell phone rang, and she started at the sound, then remembered that it had rung twice when she was in the shower. She hurried to the bed and picked it up just as it stopped ringing.
Dane
. How was she going to handle being around him and remaining steadfast in her need to break away from him?

Already late, she put on her lipstick and finished applying her eyeliner; then she sat on the bed and returned Dane’s call.

“Hi, Lace.”

The happiness in his voice brought a rush of longing through her.

“Hi.”

“Did you get my messages?” Dane asked. “I saw Danica on the way to your room this afternoon and figured you needed time with your sisters.”

She pulled the phone from her ear and noticed that she had two messages. “I haven’t listened to them yet, but Danica said you had asked about me. Thank you. It was a bit crazy around here.”
I’m a bit crazy
.

“No worries. Are you about ready to go?” he asked.

“You still want to go with me? Even after everything that happened today?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

Lacy closed her eyes and let out a relieved sigh. In the next breath, she remembered her plan to pull away from him. He wasn’t going to make this easy for her. She already felt her heart being torn to shreds.

“Lace?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m right here,” he said. “Open your door.”

Lacy crossed the small room and pulled the door open. Dane peered around an exquisite bouquet of white lilies. His eyes lit up when they met hers.

“Hi,” Dane said.

He’d changed into a white button-down shirt and a pair of linen khaki pants that tied at the waist. Lacy stifled the urge to reach up and touch the exposed skin that peeked out of his open collar.

“Those are gorgeous.” For a second she allowed herself not to think about what happened earlier. It had been only a few hours, but now she felt as if it had been days since she’d seen him. She wanted to fold herself in his arms and snuggle against his warmth. Desperation pulled at her heart—desperation for his comfort, desperation for Dane.
Maybe just one more night
.

 “I thought these might make you feel a little better.” He handed her the flowers.

“How did you know that I love Madonna Lilies?” She brought the blooms to her nose and breathed in their heavy floral, honeylike fragrance. He followed her into the room while she set them on the coffee table.

“You told me you loved lilies a long time ago, but I didn’t know you loved Madonna Lilies in particular. I have a feeling there’s a lot about you that I don’t know yet.”

It’s probably better that way
.

He reached for her hand. “But I intend to get to know everything there is to know about you.”

One night. Just one more night; then I’ll let him go, so he can find some woman who doesn’t have shark issues
. Lacy felt her resolve fading away with each beat of her racing heart.

 “I’m sorry about before.”
What am I doing? Stop liking him!

“No need to be sorry. These things happen. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Lace. If you want to talk about what happened today, or if you want to talk about anything else. I’m a really good listener.”

Lacy’s voice was stuck in her throat.
Please don’t be so nice. I can’t be your noose
.

Dane pulled her close, resting one hand on the small of her back and his cheek against hers; then he whispered, “You look amazing.”

Lacy closed her eyes, memorizing the feel of his heart beating against hers. How could she let such a great guy get involved with her? How could she walk away from him?

“Thank you,” she managed. She was so confused, and now, wrapped in the warmth of his arms, she had no idea what the right thing to do was. Whatever happened on that boat was bigger than she was, and Lacy had a feeling that even if Dane said he could deal with it, her fear might just be bigger than both of them.