Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance (15 page)

DANE’S EYES WERE still damp as they pulled away from the motel. Lacy looked away, not wanting to embarrass him and not really knowing if it was her place to say anything at all.

When Dane finally spoke, his voice was soft and his eyes were contemplative. “I never would have guessed that Rob would drink again. He was sober for fifteen years. Fifteen years. He had everything. They had everything. I just don’t understand it.”

“He did say something about Sheila wanting him to stop tagging, and love is a powerful thing,” Lacy said. “People do stupid things to try to get the attention of those they love.”
Or to protect them
.

“He’ll never give it up. But she won’t leave for good, either. She adores him. I’ve seen them together, and you can’t fake what they have. I’m sorry about all of that.”

“There’s no need to apologize. Rob’s your friend, and he’s obviously having a hard time right now. Do you think you should stay with him? I can catch a cab back to the cottage. I really wouldn’t mind,” Lacy said. She felt as though she were seeing Dane through new eyes. The way he’d put away his initial anger and stepped up to the plate for Rob, willing to give up whatever he’d had planned to go with him to a meeting, and the way he embraced and comforted him, wasn’t so different from the way he was with her. Where he had empathy for Rob, he had tenderness for Lacy. Where he had love for Rob, he had something strikingly similar, it seemed, for Lacy. She was beginning to see the man beneath the sexy exterior, and the man that was emerging was inching his way into her reluctant heart.

“I’m glad you came. It helped to know you were there,” Dane said. “Do you want me to take you home or…?”

“I’m fine with whatever you want to do. If you want to be with Rob, I’d understand that. Don’t plan around me; plan around him. He needs you,” Lacy said.

Dane pulled over to the side of the road and leaned toward her. “Thank you,” he said and pulled her close. “I’m lucky to have you as a friend.”

Friend?
Lacy was beginning to loathe that stupid pact. She put her arms around him, trying not to inhale his raw, masculine scent.

“Rob wants to be alone. He knows this route, and he knows what works best for him. I have to respect his wish to be alone.” He pulled back onto the road. “We could still go to the aquarium if you’re up to it.”

Aquarium.
A nervous flutter danced in Lacy’s chest. “I’m not sure I can accomplish whatever it is you have in mind for me, and I know I don’t want to go near any shark tanks, but short of that, I’d love to.”

THE LOBBY OF the new aquarium included several life-sized models of different species of sharks.
Perfect
. Dane didn’t intend to push Lacy past her limits, but Danica had told him that immersing her in as many shark-related activities as possible while watching her for signs of distress would help her overcome her fears. He knew several of the research staff, as they’d moved from other research facilities to open the new site, and he’d made arrangements for a private tour of the research area for Lacy. As much as Dane hated the idea of sharks being taken from their natural habitat, today he was thankful for the convenience.

“Lacy, we haven’t spoken about what happened on the boat very much, and I’d like to understand what you’re feeling,” Dane said.

Lacy crossed her arms. “It’s so embarrassing.”

“Babe, everyone has fears. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

She looked at him through her long lashes and said, “You don’t seem to.”

“Oh, yeah I do,” Dane said with a laugh.
Like my fear of losing you
. “I never made it to see you. That was fear driven, even if I don’t really understand it. It couldn’t be driven by anything else. And every time I dive into the ocean with a great white shark, there’s a type of fear that settles in. It’s not all-encompassing, but it’s there in the back of my mind.”

“You were afraid to see me?” Lacy asked.

“I sort of explained that to you already. I was afraid of what I was feeling, and I didn’t want to face you knowing the kind of guy I had been and knowing the type of man you deserved. But we’re not falling in love, remember? So let’s not go down that road. I want to know about you, Lace, not rehash who I am. I want to know what you’re feeling…”
About me
. “About the panic attack you had.”

“The more I read about sharks, the more calm I felt, but I have no idea if that was just the fact freak in me taking over or if it was something more,” she said.

“But how do you feel, Lace? When you think of a shark, what do you feel?” Danica had told him to be hypervigilant about understanding where Lacy’s emotions were during the desensitization process, and she’d been sure to throw a sisterly warning or two in for him as well. She’d said that with some patients who have hidden from their fears—or repressed them—for long periods of time, the actual fear might return fast and furious, but it can also fade quickly as the person comes to grasp the realization of how unfounded their fears are. Dane wasn’t so sure it would be that easy.

“I guess I don’t feel much. But that’s probably going to be different if I go out on a boat and actually see a shark in the water. Danica says she thinks the panic attack might have been from more than just the shark, that I was probably anxious about seeing you after building up all those expectations. I need to face the fear.” She shrugged.

The tension in his shoulders relaxed. “Well, we won’t push things,” Dane said.

“You’re supposed to be immersing me in Brave’s scope of work,” she said.

Dane smiled. “I am; trust me. You’ll see it all. I’ll just make sure you’re comfortable along the way. If you feel uncomfortable at any time—whether it’s with me or just being here—let me know, okay?”

LACY WAS AWARE of being under Dane’s scrutiny from the moment they walked into the aquarium. The entrance was lined with models of different species of fish. Lacy ran her hand over each of them, feeling the cool ceramic beneath her hand, the roughness of the etched scales and the smooth glass of the eyes. She wanted to work through her fear, but the truth was, she was already feeling uncomfortable—and she didn’t want to leave his side.

“A little different from the ones at the Flying Pan, huh?” Dane asked.

“Yes, these are more calming,” she said. She felt Dane’s eyes on her, watching her facial expressions, and when she approached the larger models, he moved a little closer to her. While the models of the fish didn’t cause a rush in anxiety, having Dane beside her with his hawk eyes watching her sure did. Each time he moved closer, butterflies took flight in her stomach.

She looked down the hallway and noted that the models got successively larger as they neared the room with the main aquarium exhibits. She moved on to the next model.
Am I going to freak out when I reach the sharks?

Dane stood before a fish that looked to be around three and a half feet long. “That’s a tuna, believe it or not,” Dane said.

“They’re kind of cute, actually.”

His arm grazed her shoulder, and Lacy looked up at him. She loved how tall he was, how thick his chest was, and when he reached for the fish, she remembered how good his strong hands had felt on her body.

“I don’t think too many people would call this fish cute,” he said. “But then again, you’re not like anyone else I know.”

Lacy felt her face flush. She looked down.

“Sorry, Lace. I don’t mean to embarrass you. We’re going to be getting to the models of sharks next. Are you okay? How do you feel?”

“I’m okay,” she said. She contemplated reaching for his hand. Even if she wasn’t nervous yet, she could say she was.

“You sure?”

His eyes were so sincere that she couldn’t breathe. She smiled. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“The next one is a black-tip reef shark,” he said. He put his hand on the small of her back and guided her forward.

When the warmth of his hand touched her back, she realized how much she enjoyed his nonsexual touch. Hell, who was she kidding? She enjoyed everything from the way he looked at her to the way he’d had to grit his teeth earlier in the day to keep from kissing her.

“See the distinctive black markings? These guys are fast,” Dane said.

Her heartbeat sped up as she touched the model, but Lacy couldn’t tell if it was from the model of the shark or from her thoughts of Dane.

Dane ran his palm over the model beside Lacy’s hand. Their thumbs touched, and he looked down at her.

“You still okay?” he asked. His eyes darkened seductively as he held her gaze.

“I think so,” she said.
Jesus, this is harder than the damn sharks
.

“Should we move forward?” Dane asked.

Yes. God, yes
. His eyes held her captive.

He motioned to the next model, and Lacy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She forced her legs to move toward the next model.
Get a grip.
He’s doing something nice for you and you’re acting like a schoolgirl with a crush
.

Lacy followed him to the next model, and when she reached for his hand, it was to settle her nerves.

“I’m right here. You’re okay.” Dane held her hand tightly and took a step closer so his chest was against her back.

Lacy nodded. She leaned back enough to feel the security of him. She stared at the model of the massive bull shark.

“That’s a bull shark. They’re very aggressive,” Dane said.

I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay
. “One of the most common sharks,” she said.

“Yeah, they’re pretty common in warm waters,” Dane said. He put his hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she said. “It was easier to deal with the smaller ones.” She turned to face him. Her eyes were an inch from his chest. She looked up. “I know they’re not real. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous.” Lacy wondered if what Danica thought was true. Was she nervous because of Dane
and
the sharks, or was her heart beating double time solely because of one or the other?

“Let’s not push it,” he said. He nodded down the hall.

Lacy followed his gaze to a sign that said,
meet the sharks.
She had to know if the issue was Dane or the sharks. She hadn’t had a panic attack yet, so maybe it had less to do with Dane after all.

“I want to try to go in, but I can’t make any promises,” Lacy said.

“I don’t know, Lace.”

She drew on the advice Danica had given her.
I’m fine. They’re in tanks. It’s okay.
“I don’t have to go all the way in if I get too nervous, but I think I want to try.”

He held her hand. “It’s your call, but if you feel anything bad, you have to clue me in.”

“Dane, you’ve been watching me like a hawk. You’ll know,” she said with a smile.

He nodded. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I appreciate it.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath, as if he were the one who was afraid of sharks. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” she lied.

He must have heard the hitch in her voice, because he squeezed her hand. She was thankful for the strength of his grip and the surety of him.

“You can hold my hand, but remember, no falling in love,” he teased.

She nodded, unable to pry her voice from her lungs.
I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.

They walked past the last two models without stopping and followed the signs to the shark exhibit. Beneath the arched entrance, Lacy came to an abrupt stop. Before them was a wall of glass, behind which were three sharks passing in quick succession. Lacy held her breath and looked around. The tank wrapped around the room, and the sharks followed a pattern around the room and then back again.

“They can’t touch you, Lace,” Dane assured her. “I’m right here, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Lacy’s eyes were locked on the sharks as they swam a streamlined path around the tank.

“Lace?”

“Yeah?” I can’t do this. “I think I’d do better if they weren’t so big.”

“Let’s go, Lace. No need to push it,” he said.

Face your fears
. Lacy closed her eyes and said, “Ask me questions.”

“What?”

She looked up at him, trying not to allow her urge to bolt to take over. “I can’t walk in there, but ask me questions about them. If I’m concentrating on facts, it’ll help.” She held his arm with her other hand. “They can’t touch me. I know that. But my heart is thundering, and I feel like I want to run away. Danica said to face my fears, and I’m trying my best. Please ask me questions.”

“What kind of sharks are they?” Dane asked. His eyes never left her face.

He stepped closer, and Lacy leaned in to his side to settle her shaking body.
OhGodohGod
. “Um…” She squinted, concentrating on defining the species. She looked at their shapes, their noses, the breadth of their bodies, their tails. “Is that a sand tiger shark?” She couldn’t release his arm to point to the shark as it glided past. She heard the trembling in her voice.
I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine
. “Right there, that one.”

“That’s my girl. Yes, a sand tiger shark,” Dane said.

My girl
. Lacy tried to concentrate on what he’d said instead of the anxiety that prickled her nerves. She narrowed her eyes and scrutinized the sharks.

“That one there, I know what that is.” Lacy looked at Dane, then back at the tank. “That’s a…Oh, God, I know this. Oh, oh, a nurse shark, and probably a female, based on the size.”

“You’re right on target, Lacy,” Dane said.

When she looked up, she was met by his proud smile. She couldn’t force a smile to her own lips, but she felt a swell of pride for not running away—or passing out.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I think so. If I’m distracted, it’s much easier,” she said.

“I’ll try to remember that,” Dane said.

She didn’t miss the flirty note to his words.

“I think that’s enough torture for today.” It was a statement, not a request.

Dane guided Lacy down the hall. The minute they passed the large models, she felt the tension in her limbs ease.

He grabbed her arms with a beaming smile on his lips. “That was huge, Lacy. How do you feel?”