Screwing the System (23 page)

“I’m sorry,” Cosmo whispered, bowing his head.

“You bloody well will be. Get yourself dried and wait for me in the study. Don’t bother dressing again.”

Alasdair stomped off towards the house, and Cosmo trailed after him, the protests withering on his tongue.

There was a clean towel waiting in the utility room, so Cosmo was ready in the study in moments. Although Alasdair hadn’t specified how he wanted to find him, Cosmo sank on his knees on the hearthrug. No, wait, that wasn’t contrite enough. Instead, he moved over to the floorboards, kneeling in front of the spanking chair, his head hanging and his hands behind his back. Maybe if Alasdair saw how sorry he was, he’d be merciful. Spanking was fun when it was done for kicks, but he had the feeling a genuine punishment spanking would be a different experience altogether.

Cosmo meant to keep his trap shut when Alasdair entered the room, but he just couldn’t help himself. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that stuff just then. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’d had a really shitty day, and it’ll never happen again, I promise.”

Alasdair’s silence was more ominous than shouting would have been. Cosmo kept his eyes to the floor as he heard Alasdair walk closer. Eventually, he could see a pair of leather trousers and sock-clad feet in front of him. Alasdair had changed into his Top gear, but not his boots. Was that a good or a bad thing? Cosmo’s cock stirred with interest, his little brain reacting to the association of leather with sexy times, even though his big brain told it to wait and see.

“What was so bad about your day that it made you think getting drunk was the best plan of action?”

“I had an argument with the band. Shit, it’s going to sound really pathetic, but I built that band up from nothing and now it feels like it’s all being taken away from me.”

“I’m listening.” Alasdair’s voice was so patient, so nonjudgmental that Cosmo ended up spilling the whole sorry story, including exactly what he thought of Rizzo-fucking-Donnelly.

“I see,” Alasdair said when the story had wound to a close. “I can understand why you were so upset, but it really wasn’t the most mature way to deal with it.”

“You’re right, and I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” He was doing a lot of promising, but he fully intended to honour his word.

“And how will you do that?”

“The best blowjob you’ve ever had?”

“Not good enough. Sounds too much like fun for you. I think you need to do penance. Something that will help me out but that you won’t enjoy.”

Okay, that was good, in that it didn’t sound like a spanking was imminent. Cosmo racked his brains. “I could scrub out the toilet.”

“Do you consider that a particularly humiliating task?”

Hearing the ominous tone in Alasdair’s voice, Cosmo decided to shake his head but refrained from replying.

“Good, because there’s nothing wrong with being a cleaner. How d’you think I got my company up and running in the first place? I couldn’t hire staff back then. Me and Mavis were out at all hours, scrubbing toilets clean. It’s good, honest work, and it makes the world a nicer place, one bathroom at a time. No, you’ll have to come up with something better than that.”

“Please tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”

“You will? Whatever I ask?” Alasdair’s hand tilted Cosmo’s chin upwards. The Boss-man’s expression was puzzling, not all grave and pissed off like he’d been expecting. No, Alasdair looked just like he had on that first morning, when Cosmo had played John Martyn and his eyes had gleamed with unshed tears. Whatever had made him that emotional, Cosmo wanted to comfort him.

“Whatever you ask,” he vowed. “I promise. Just please don’t make it something that scares me shitless.”

Alasdair considered him for a long moment, his gaze probing into Cosmo’s soul. The exposure made him shiver, made him want to say something cocky to deflect the attention, but he resisted the temptation. So what if Alasdair ended up seeing all his naked hopes, fears and dreams? He had nothing to be ashamed of, other than acting like a brat earlier.

Doing penance would dissolve that shame too.

“Please,” Cosmo asked, more emphatically now. “I really do want to make it up to you.”

“Do you understand why I was so angry with you?”

“Coz I was being an idiot. Taking risks.”

“I was angry because I care about you.”

“You do? Okay. Yeah, I know you do, even if you’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

At last Cosmo saw a twitch of a smile at the corners of Alasdair’s mouth. The rush of joy inside him was more powerful than if someone had just told him he’d won the fucking National Lottery.

“Okay, I believe you, and since you seem to understand why I’m angry, I’m going to be lenient.” Something thudded onto the floor in front of Cosmo. He looked down to see Alasdair’s boots. “These need a proper polish. Everything you need is under the kitchen sink. I want you to treat them with love and clean and polish every last square inch, and while you’re doing that, you can think about how you’re going to deal with it next time you have an argument with your friends. I want you to have a plan in place that will stop you acting impulsively when you’re angry.”

“Yes, Alasdair.” Cosmo panicked. “I mean boss.”

“Save that for scenes, yeah? I’m happy to be Alasdair.”

“Thank you.”

Polishing Alasdair’s boots wasn’t really that unpleasant a task after all, as the leather held so many positive associations. Cosmo imagined Alasdair wearing them, standing proud and tall, and even straightened his shoulders like Alasdair would want him to. Yes, making them look beautiful for his man was an honourable task and one he’d happily do on a regular basis. The scent of the black polish distracted him, calling up memories of Alasdair’s leather-clad body, and it wasn’t until he’d nearly finished the first boot that he remembered what he was really meant to be thinking about.

Fortunately, he had an answer ready for Alasdair when he finally presented the gleaming boots to him back in the study. Alasdair sat in the spanking chair, with Cosmo kneeling between his legs.

“Next time it happens, if it happens, I’m going to take a run to work off my anger, and then I’m going to go back and try to make things up with them. Rizzo might be a total arse, but Nasher’s my best mate, and I don’t want to lose him. Whatever happens, I’m going to come straight here afterwards and wait for you if you’re not home.”

“That sounds acceptable. Now, put my boots on me.”

Cosmo obliged readily, his dick filling as he helped Alasdair into those sexy boots. “May I, please?” he asked, indicating Alasdair’s obviously interested dick.

Alasdair raised an eyebrow. “You may, but you mustn’t touch yourself, and you’re not allowed to come.”

Okay. That was still more than he’d been expecting he’d be allowed, so Cosmo was happy anyway. He unzipped Alasdair’s jeans and parted the leather to tug out that meaty cock and a pair of large balls. Alasdair was only half hard, but he soon firmed up under the attentions of Cosmo’s lips and tongue. Cosmo relished the flavour of salt, leather and musky arousal, moving down to Alasdair’s heavy balls, sucking first one, then the other into his mouth. If he could cram himself full of Alasdair, maybe there wouldn’t be any room to misbehave anymore. And there wouldn’t be any need, if he had that security all the time, of feeling owned and cherished.

Because that was what it felt like. Even when Alasdair grunted and forced his cock into Cosmo’s mouth, fucking his face so hard it hurt. Yes, he was cherished. The gentle hands in his hair and the stream of broken, filthy endearments let him know that.

“So good. Sweet little deep-throating angel. Take it all. Go on, baby. Swallow me down. That’s it.”

Cosmo moaned, and his eyes watered, the salty tears mingling with the spittle running down his chin. And then Alasdair was coming, shooting deep into Cosmo’s throat before pulling back and adding his final spurts to Cosmo’s face.

“You’re all messy. Dirty boy.” Alasdair’s voice rasped, his hands trembling as he wiped two fingers across Cosmo’s cheek and gave them to him to suck on. Cosmo whimpered, so hard it ached, but Alasdair ignored his erection while Cosmo licked every last bit of spunk off his fingers.

“Upstairs to bed. No touching yourself.”

Cosmo was about to protest, but one look at Alasdair’s face convinced him not to. Right now the man was looking at him with a tenderness he wouldn’t risk spoiling, not even for an orgasm. “Yes, boss.”

He lay awake and erect for a long time, Alasdair spooning behind him. Those strong arms locked tight around his body, holding his wrists so he couldn’t have touched himself even if he’d wanted to. It should have been frustrating as hell, but all he felt was secure. Eventually he fell asleep, lulled by the rhythm of Alasdair’s breathing.

The next morning, Alasdair woke before Cosmo for a change. That punishment must have been more cathartic than he’d realised, as Cosmo was curled up to his side, dead to the world. Alasdair watched him breathing, the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders, the soft curve of his lashes against his cheeks. In sleep, he looked so innocent, so sweet. You couldn’t see the untameable spirit flashing out of his eyes.

The spirit Alasdair no longer wanted to tame.

He ran his hand over Cosmo’s arm, down to the smooth skin of his hip. Cosmo gave a sleepy murmur that made Alasdair’s heart swell. He’d do anything for this man. Anything. If anyone had been tamed, it was Alasdair. He gave a wry chuckle, and when Cosmo stirred, nudging his morning wood against Alasdair’s thigh, he didn’t even need to think about what he was doing. He threw back the covers and kissed his way down Cosmo’s chest and swallowed him down.

“Mmmm, thass nice,” Cosmo said, his voice thick with sleep. He bucked his hips, and Alasdair had to hold him still. They might have swapped roles for the time being, but he was damned if he was letting Cosmo top him. Not yet. “You better stop. Gonna blow otherwise.”

Alasdair did stop, but only for long enough to give Cosmo permission to come. He deserved it after the way he’d taken his punishment last night. And besides, drinking Cosmo down into him seemed like the very best way to start the day. Having a bellyful of the man he loved first thing would fortify him against anything life chose to throw his way.

Cosmo writhed and clung on to Alasdair’s shoulders as he came. Once Alasdair had licked him soft again, he climbed up over Cosmo and fucked his mouth for all of ten seconds before he was knocked sideways by the force of his orgasm. As he came down, stroking Cosmo’s jaw and staring into those dark, unfathomable eyes, it struck him. Maybe if he could give up just a little bit of control, Cosmo would decide to stay with him.

Trouble was, could he manage to let go enough to hold on to the best thing in his life?

Chapter Eighteen

Alasdair was halfway through both his coffee and the business section of the
Sunday Times
when Cosmo voiced the question he’d clearly been mulling over all morning.

“I was wondering, you know I’m visiting my nan this afternoon…”

Alasdair looked up to spot Cosmo’s uncharacteristically nervous twitching, almost disguised as playing with his coffee spoon. “Yes,” he prompted. “You were wondering?”

“Well, see, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me this week.”

“Do you want me to be there?”

“Would I be asking if I didn’t?” Cosmo snapped.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so, but you sound nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” Cosmo insisted and sat scowling, drumming his fingers on the tabletop.

Alasdair sat back and sipped his coffee, watching him.

“Okay, okay, I’m bloody well bricking it, all right? I just… I want you to like her. She’s really important to me.”

“I’m sure I’ll like her.”

“How can you be? You’ve never even met her. She’s not gonna be what you’re expecting. Sylvia chain smokes and she’s not like your kind of people. Her house is nothing like this. She hoards stuff. You’ll hate it.”

“Cosmo, listen to me.” Alasdair reached across the table and took hold of Cosmo’s clenched hands. “I already like her. She raised you, and you love her. How could I possibly not like her?”

Cosmo looked down at their hands for a long time. When he finally raised his eyes, Alasdair could have fallen into their sombre depths. “Right then. Let’s hope you’re still saying that when you’ve met her.” He pulled his hands out of Alasdair’s grasp. “I’m going for a smoke.”

Alasdair sighed but didn’t object. If Cosmo really felt he needed a chemical crutch, it would be a slow and subtle process of convincing him otherwise and not one he felt up to right now. Soon, though. Maybe meeting this Sylvia would give him a clue as to what started Cosmo smoking, and the best way to deal with it.

And maybe, just maybe, by meeting the woman Cosmo loved, he’d figure out if that way Cosmo looked at him was love too.

When they got back from their morning run in the cool drizzle, Alasdair found he’d missed a call from Roger. He called him straight back, but after the usual pleasantries, he listened with a growing sense of unease.