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Aaron nodded, but I could see he didn’t believe me. Aaron was my closest friend, but I’d never told him that Jaxon and I nearly became more than just stepbrother and stepsister. He probably would have supported me—at least outwardly—but I didn’t want him to think I was sick for fancying my stepbrother.

“Probably for the best,” Aaron said.

Aaron never spoke much about Jaxon, but when he did it tended to be negative. Just little jibes here and there over the last four years. I’d always agreed with him and then just changed the subject, but Aaron’s comments had always confused me. He didn’t really have any reason to dislike Jaxon. I wasn’t even sure the two of them had formally met, so Aaron only knew Jaxon from what I said about him.

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

Aaron shrugged. “He just looks like bad news. I see him on television sometimes. He’s arrogant, and loves himself more than he will ever love anyone else. The two of you are very different, that’s all.”

“You make it sound like Jaxon and I are dating,” I said, with an exaggerated and obviously fake laugh. “It’s not like I need him to be husband material.”

“Good,” Aaron said. “I know women tend to fall for the bad boy, but I really do think you’re too good for him.”

I opened my mouth to defend Jaxon, but quickly closed it again and thought better of it. Best not to give Aaron any ideas. Aaron’s dislike of Jaxon was almost a relief. Aaron specifically said I shouldn’t get together with Jaxon because of his personality, and not because of our family relationship.

I turned the topic of conversation away from Jaxon, but couldn’t take my mind off him all evening. I hadn’t seen him since his visit to the hospital, and my mind was wracked with worry and fear for his well-being. It was only natural that I be concerned for my stepbrother, but this was much more than that. I wanted to forgive him. Properly this time. I wanted to turn back time four years, and surrender to him without insisting we go on some stupid date.

But I couldn’t turn back time. We could be physical, but I would never be able to trust him again like I had done. I could forgive, but I didn’t think I was ready to forget, and I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

I didn’t enjoy hospital visits—who did?—but this one would be especially unpleasant. The doctor had described it as a routine checkup, but with everything I’d been through over the last few years, there was little in the way of ‘routine’ about it.  

Over the last four years, my mind had been consumed by health worries, but recently I’d begun to relax and let myself move on with my life. Instead of worrying about my health, I thought about Jenny, and once again I’d allowed myself to get close to her. Even worse, I’d allowed her to get close to me.

The doctor didn’t have good news. In fact, he had very bad news, and now I had to backtrack on everything. I had to get Jenny out of my life again. I wouldn’t be as extreme as I was four years ago—I couldn’t hurt her like that again—but I had to find a way out of this mess. I never should have flirted with her or wormed my way back into her life. I’d acted selfishly. I wanted to be with Jenny, but I’d kept my distance these last four years for a good reason. Following today’s bad news from my doctor, that reason applied as much now as it did four years ago.

I still had no intention of moving to New York United, and I would fail the medical anyway. The club would discover my condition at some point and that would be it. I couldn’t even use the excuse of making the transfer negotiations look real, because Liverpool United wouldn’t offer me a new deal anyway. Not now.  

Now more than ever, I wanted to spend every minute of every day with Jenny, but that couldn’t happen. When I was with her I wanted to press my lips against every inch of her skin, and I sensed her resistance to me weakening. Another week hanging out, and we would end up in bed together. I wanted that more than anything else in the world, but I couldn’t risk hurting her. Not again.

Jenny had gone out on a date, which I still suspected—or at least hoped—was fake. I knew she’d had boyfriends at college, but she wasn’t the casual dating type. I doubted she would do anything on a first date, so I had time to get the hell away before she brought him home to meet the family, or even worse, had sex in the room next to where I was currently staying. That would destroy me quicker than my illness ever could.

When I got home, Mom was on the phone downstairs yelling at a coworker for missing a deadline. I’d hoped to catch her in a good mood, but there were few good moods for Mom these days.  

“Do you have a minute?” I asked Mom, while she was flicking through emails on her phone.

“If you make it quick,” she replied.

“You need to take Jenny off the team negotiating my contract,” I said.

“Why?” She still hadn’t looked up from her phone. I didn’t have her complete attention, but then I never did. She’d probably been negotiating business deals while breast-feeding me as a child.

“She doesn’t have enough experience with these deals.” I felt guilty for throwing Jenny under the bus, but telling Mom that our relationship was strained would be even worse. The last thing I wanted was Mom thinking about my relationship with Jenny. “This deal needs to go smoothly, and Daisy has expressed concerns that Jenny will make a mess of it.”

“Jenny has plenty of support to call on if she needs it. It’s not like she’s the one signing the checks. We, I mean the club, figured it would be better to have a friendly face negotiating with you, that’s all.”

“Well I don’t want a friendly face. Have her moved to another department, or back to the parent company.”

“It’s not my decision. She doesn’t work for me.”

“You got her the job in the first place,” I said. “You obviously have influence there.”

“She got the job because New York United figured she was the best person to negotiate with you. I have very little influence there. Besides, they are clients of mine, and the last thing I want to do is tell them that the employee I recommend is not up to the job. How do you think that would make me look?”

“I don’t particularly care how it’ll make you look,” I snarled. “You should never have given her the job in the first place. She’s not cut out for it. She’s a social studies major, for Christ’s sake.”

“I did her a favor getting her that job. I can assure you, it pays a heck of a lot better than the jobs she was applying for.”

“Did it ever occur to you that she might not have been concerned about money? Not everyone chases the biggest paycheck they can get.”
Says the guy earning $5 million a year for kicking a ball around.
“I’m going to speak to Dad and see if he can get her a better job. One that she will actually enjoy. Dad has loads of contacts with companies involved in international trade. Jenny’s Arabic skills will come in use there.”  

Dad probably wouldn’t be able to help Jenny, but it would annoy Mom no end if she thought Dad was getting involved. I didn’t even know if Jenny wanted to use her language skills, but it had to be better than working indirectly for my mom.

“Your father has never met her,” Mom replied. “Besides, her Arabic is not as good as she made out.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “She’s been studying it since she was fourteen and she always said she was going to study it at college.”

“That she did,” Mom said. “She also failed miserably. There are two ‘F’ grades on her transcript relating to Middle East studies and some really bad grades for her Arabic language classes.”

“I don’t believe you,” I said. “I can’t imagine Jenny would ever get an ‘F’ grade in anything, let alone something she had been studying passionately for so long.”

“I can show you her transcript if you like. She sent it to me so that I could forward it on to my contact at the company. That sister of yours is not as perfect as she likes to make out, and she should be grateful I gave her such a fantastic opportunity. Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”

I stormed off and slammed the door behind me like a petulant child. I didn’t want to believe Mom, but she didn’t usually lie about things like this. In fact, she didn’t usually lie at all. She was brutally honest most of the time. This was the woman who, when I was eight years old, told me she didn’t like the picture frame I gave her for Christmas that I’d made in school. She told me I could do better, and I never saw it again. If Mom said Jenny failed some classes in college, she was telling the truth.

There had to be a reason she failed those classes; I just hoped the reason wasn’t anything to do with me. More likely, she split up with her first boyfriend and struggled to focus in class. I didn’t know much about him, but I knew they were together for a while and he was her first. The breakup would have been tough on Jenny, especially after she’d already been hurt by me. No wonder she was so reluctant to let me back into her life.

I sent an email to Daisy telling her to deal with everything regarding the transfer going forward. It was a complete reverse from what I’d told her before about wanting to be involved, but in the short term it was the only thing I could think of to keep myself out of Jenny’s life as much as possible.

At about ten o’clock, a car pulled up outside even though Mom and Sheridan were downstairs, and Jenny had left her car here. She must be being dropped off by her date. I couldn’t resist taking a peek and finding out what was going on. As in soccer, in dating it always paid to do research on the opposition.

I looked out the window and much to my relief saw Aaron in the driver’s seat. She’d just been out for dinner with a friend after all. There was no way she was dating Arron. Those two were close friends and had been for a long time.

Jenny walked into the house and a few seconds later I received a text message from Aaron. I didn’t realize he still had my number.
Need to speak to you. Meet me on the corner.
I looked out the window and saw Aaron pull away from the house but then stop one hundred yards down the road.  

I waited until Jenny had walked into the living room before sneaking down the stairs and out the door. I didn’t want Jenny to catch me, so I walked out barefoot. The rough tarmac dug into the soles of my feet as I walked. My manager would kill me if he saw me risking an injury to my feet. Eventually I made it to Aaron’s car and knocked on the window.

“Hey,” Aaron said quietly. This was the first time I’d seen him in the flesh since that night four years ago. He’d sent me a few messages to see how I was getting on, but I’d ignored most of them. He was a reminder of Jenny and what I’d lost.

“Hey,” I replied. “What’s up? Your message sounded a little panicky.”

“I just had dinner with Jenny. She talked about you a fair bit.”

“Oh. We’re having to work together at the moment. It’s not ideal, but there’s nothing going on.”

“I know, but I think she wants there to be something between you two again. She never said as much of course, but I could tell from the way she spoke about you. Her eyes still light up whenever she says your name, just like they used to four years ago.”

“What did you say?” I asked.

“I said you weren’t good enough for her. I didn’t know what else to say.”

“You did the right thing.”

“Did I? You’re healthy again now. Why do we have to maintain this lie? I understand why you did what you did four years ago, but now you can come clean.”

I shook my head. “It’s not as simple as that. I went to the hospital today for an appointment and got bad news. It’s come back.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I thought they’d given you the all clear.”

“So did I. Look, the important thing is that Jenny needs to hate me again. Or at least not want to be with me. I’m not going to do anything drastic like last time, but I’m going to stay out of her life as much as possible. I’d appreciate it if you could keep convincing her that we wouldn’t make a good couple. Anything to put her off.”

Aaron nodded. “Let me know if there’s—” Aaron froze and stared at me.

“What is it?” I asked. At first I thought he was staring straight at me, but as a car drove past, its headlights illuminated Aaron’s face and I noticed he was looking over my shoulder. I turned around and saw Jenny standing just three yards behind me.