Science Fair (31 page)

Swingle stopped, looking at the disc.

“What is that thing?” he said.

“It’s a giant Mentos,” said BPW.

“A what?” said Swingle.

“A Mentos,” said BPW. “The candy. Actual y I made it by gluing a whole bunch of regular Mentos together. It took, like, a week.” Swingle leaned closer to the disc and saw that it was, in fact, made of thousands of Mentos.

“And why did you do that?” he asked Brad.

“To see what happens when you drop it in Diet Coke,” said Brad, pointing at the drum.

“You fil ed a fifty-five-gal on drum with
Diet Coke
?” said Swingle.

“Yeah,” said Brad. “We had to get it from the beverage distributor. My dad says this project better win the prize, because he spent my col ege tuition on Diet Coke.”

“Perhaps we should move on,” said The Hornet, glaring at BPW.

“Not yet,” said Swingle. To BPW he said, “I have to know. What, exactly, wil happen when you drop that thing into the Diet Coke?”

“I’m not total y sure,” said Brad. “For the actual experiment, I’m going to move it outside. They won’t let me do it in here. You want to see it happen?”

“Not real y,” said Swingle.

There was a loud
Ribbit!
and a sudden motion next to Brad’s project. The group turned to see a large frog inside a glass globe rise several inches off a metal plate. It hovered in the air, looking nervous even by frog standards.

“What is THAT?” said Swingle.

“It’s Fester,” said BPW. “He’s a frog.”

“I see it’s a frog,” said Swingle. “But what…what…”

“It’s Mucus’s project,” said Brad.

“Mucus?” said Swingle.

“Micah Porter,” said BPW. “It works on magnets or something. Micah has it on a timer. He’s not here because he got kicked out of school for…”

“That’s
enough
, Mr. Wemplemeyer,” snapped The Hornet.

“Okay,” said BPW. “But I think Fester’s getting hungry.”

“Why don’t we move on?” said The Hornet.

“Why don’t we?” said Swingle.

Ribbit!
said Fester the floating frog. But nobody was listening.

The judges came next to a row of impressive-looking projects, al submitted by ME kids. The Hornet perked up, as did the teachers with her; one of these projects, they were sure, would be Swingle’s choice for first prize. This was also the opinion of the group of ME kids and their parents—including Harmonee, Haley, Jason, and The Ferret, al of whom were smiling with varying degrees of smugness.

But The Ferret’s smugness turned to fear when Swingle pointed at his project and said, “This looks interesting. Can someone tel me what it’s about?”

“Go ahead, Farrel,” Harmonee said to The Ferret, her smiling face radiating sweetness. “Explain your project to Mr. Swingle.” The other ME kids snickered, knowing that The Ferret could no more explain his project than he could produce frozen yogurt from his ear.

“Is this your project, young man?” said Swingle.

“Um,” said The Ferret, adding, “um.”

“Yes?” said Swingle.

“Um,” said The Ferret.

“He means yes,” said Harmonee, batting her eyelashes at Swingle.

“Wel , then,” said Swingle to The Ferret, “tel me what it does.”

But before The Ferret could total y humiliate himself, one of Swingle’s lackeys tapped him on the shoulder and whispered something into his ear. He, in turn, conferred quietly for a minute with The Hornet. She nodded grimly and turned to face the crowd.

“Apparently,” she said, “the situation with the blackouts is becoming, ah, a bit more of a problem.” A man in the crowd, with a cel phone to his ear, said in a loud voice, “There’s rioting in Los Angeles.”

“Miami, too,” said another voice. “And Cleveland.”

The crowd was buzzing now.

“Quiet, please!” shouted The Hornet. The crowd quieted, stunned; The Hornet
never
shouted.

“We cannot have panic,” said The Hornet. “We
will not
have panic. Now Mr. Swingle has informed me that the president is going to address the nation about this situation, and I’m sure he wil tel us what steps are being taken to bring everything under control. I’m going to ask everybody to move to the north end of the gymnasium, and I’m going to ask Coach Furman to bring a television monitor so we can watch the president’s address.”

The crowd, buzzing again, began moving. Swingle grabbed his lackey by the arm and snapped, “Get me out of here. I don’t care how you do it, but
get me out of here
.” The lackey trotted off through the crowd, leaving Swingle, momentarily alone, standing by the ME kids’ projects. His eyes happened to fal on a thick cable running from one of the projects; he noticed the same type of cable running from another project, and another. For a moment he wondered about that. But then he decided it was not his concern.

He started walking toward the end of the gym, having decided that, until his idiot staff could get him out of here, he would hear what the president had to say about what was causing these strange blackouts. He took a few steps. Then something made him stop, turn, and take another look at the ME projects. Something bothered him about them—the elaborate technology, the thick cable.…

He stared at the projects for a few more seconds.

Nah
, he decided.
Not my concern.

He turned and started walking again.

R
OGER HARBINGER, JEDI KNIGHT
, stood in the halway, gripping his light saber with his right hand while using his left to pul up his Jedi pants. His eyes were fixed on the basement door.

BAM CRACK CRACK CRACK

The door was being splintered into kindling. It now had a big hole, through which Roger could see the legs of a chair. The men in the basement were breaking out.

CRASH

The last pieces of the door clattered into the hal way, fol owed by the chair. Roger, hardly breathing, gripped his light saber tighter and focused on the now-empty doorway. He felt a drop of sweat run down his forehead and sting his eye.

He twitched as the Wookiee’s enormous hairy head appeared in the opening. The head swiveled and looked directly at Roger. Then the Wookie looked back over his shoulder and said, “He has a light saber.”

From the stairwel , Roger heard a voice he knew wel from hours spent in the tenth row of the movie theater—a deep voice taking loud hissing breaths between each phrase.

“Step aside!” spoke the voice of Darth Vader. “I shal deal with him.”

The Wookiee stepped aside. Roger heard the tromp of heavy bootsteps climbing the stairs. Final y, the gleaming plastic of the black-helmeted head appeared. Vaderian stepped into the hal way, adjusted his cape, and faced Roger.

“So,” he said, “we meet at last.”

He flicked the switch on his light saber. Nothing happened.

“I said
no more discount batteries
!” Vaderian hissed at the Wookiee.

“The batteries are good,” said the Wookiee. “Jiggle the switch.”

Vaderian jiggled the switch, and the light saber came to life. Again Vaderian faced Roger.

“So,” he said, raising his saber, “we meet at last.”

“So we do,” said Roger, wishing he could come up with something more dramatic. He also wished his light saber lit up, but it was a real prop, and in
Star Wars
the glow was added as a special effect.

Vaderian, waving his light saber, stepped forward. Roger stepped back. In moments they were in the living room, circling. The Wookiee stood in the hal way entrance, watching.

Vaderian slashed his light saber toward Roger. Vaderian’s saber hummed as it sliced the air. The hum was digital y recorded and triggered by motion sensors in the handle of the light saber, which Vaderian had purchased on the Internet.

Roger, stil tugging at his pants with his left hand, dodged out of the way and thrust his saber at Vader. Vader blocked it with his own saber. The two sabers made a loud
clunk
as they hit each other. Each man winced, secretly afraid that his saber would break.

Now they were circling again. The Wookiee was watching intently.

Then al three heard it: “AI IEEEEEEEEE!!!”

The piercing shriek came from the end of the hal way. Roger and Vaderian turned to see what had caused it. The Wookiee started to turn, but before he got his head around, Fawn Harbinger had leaped on his back. She was wearing one of her Princess Leia costumes, specifical y the metal bikini Leia wore when she was held captive by Jabba the Hutt.

Fawn had considered wearing her white-robe costume, but she felt it would be too confining for fighting. Also, she was proud that she could stil fit into the bikini.

“LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE!” she shouted, pounding a fist on the Wookiee’s head.

“Get off me, lady!” shouted the Wookiee. “OWW!” he added, as Fawn grabbed a handful of his thick hair and yanked on it. Her other arm was now wrapped around the Wookiee’s head, covering his eyes. Temporarily blinded and shouting in pain, he staggered, spinning, back to the hal , with Fawn stil screeching and clinging to his back like a crazed bikini-clad monkey.

“Fawn!” shouted Roger. He lunged after his wife but found his path blocked by Vaderian, breath hissing in his voice-changing box.

“Get out of my way, Vader!” said Roger.

“Make me, Jedi!” snarled Vaderian.

Roger swung his light saber, but Vaderian was ready. With a quick and practiced move, he parried Roger’s blow and then struck one of his own, hitting Roger’s light saber just above his hand. Roger lost his grip; the light saber clattered across the living room.

Roger was now unarmed. He stepped back as Vaderian swung at him, the humming blade just missing his face. He heard screeching and thumping from the hal way, but couldn’t see what was happening because of the advancing black-caped bulk of Vaderian.

Roger looked to his left and saw his light saber on the floor, ten feet away. He took a step toward it, but Vaderian cut him off.

“Why don’t you use the Force to get your light saber, Jedi?” said Vaderian. Then he chuckled a chuckle that he had been waiting his entire adult life to deliver.

Roger looked at the light saber. He remembered the scene from
The Empire Strikes Back
when Luke, left hanging upside down by an ice creature on the Planet Hoth, stretches his hand out and summons the light saber to him.

If only…

Roger jerked his head away as the humming blade flashed past again. He took another step back; he was almost to the wal . In desperation, he reached his hand out toward his light saber. Vaderian chuckled. Roger could tel he had practiced chuckling. Another step back, and Roger felt the wal behind him. There was nowhere to go now. Vaderian drew back for a final blow.…

And then Roger’s light saber moved. Roger gasped; Vaderian turned to look. Both men stared in astonishment as the light saber rose, traveled across the floor, and settled gently into Roger’s outstretched hand.

“Here you go, Dad,” said Toby’s voice.

Roger gripped the light saber with both hands, al owing his pants to fal to his knees. He swung the saber with al his strength. Vaderian raised his saber to block it.

CLUNK

Both men opened their eyes and saw that Vaderian’s light saber had shattered into pieces; the batteries—six C cel s—were rol ing across the floor. Vaderian held only the handle now. Roger drew his saber back, preparing to strike again. But Vaderian was already at the door, yanking it open and barging out, fol owed closely by the Wookiee, howling in pain and chased by Fawn, who was holding a clump of hair in each hand. As the Wookiee ran out the door, she stopped and shouted, “AND DON’T COME BACK, HAIRBALL!” As Vaderian and the Wookiee fled, they barely avoided barreling into Drmtsi, Vrsk, Tamara, and Micah. The four had been ordered by Toby to remain outside while he entered the house, invisible, through his bedroom window. They’d been standing on the front walkway, listening to the battle rage inside; now they jumped aside as Vaderian and the Wookiee barreled past.

For a moment, al four of them could only stare at the two weird figures. It was Drmtsi who first found words, cal ing out in English as Vaderian and the Wookiee disappeared into the night: “May this Force is being with you!”