Schasm (Schasm Series) (28 page)

I’m flattened against him, breathing heavier and faster than my own heart beating. Our faces are an inch apart. “You saved me again,” I whisper. I press my forehead against his. “I guess I’m just a damsel in distress.”

“I have no problem playing the hero, every time.” He winks.

He takes what’s left of my breath. I can feel his heart against my heart. This is the most inappropriate time for me to realize that I’ve fallen in love with him. But it’s undeniable now.

I hear the mass of armed rioters stop short in their tracks. I’m praying it’s because they saw the locket has been returned. I hear the feet moving again; this time they’re going back in the direction they came from.

They’re leaving. It’s as if nothing had even happened.

I’m safe. Alex is safe.

It’s all that matters.

He slides around me and helps us both up onto the surface. “Let’s get out of here before you cause another uproar, you crazy chick.” He kisses my temple.

I remember we had something else to attend to. “Do we need to go find Tomas?” I want nothing more than to get out of here right now. But we left him in a dangerous situation.

Alex shakes his head. “He said he would find us. He told me he would make sure to find a solution to help you get out of here for good, that he owes you as much. Right now, our biggest concern is finding a way out of this place.”

He pulls the map out of his pocket again, but as he finishes unfolding the paper, the walls tremble around us. It sounds like an earthquake. The rock we’re leaning against crumbles around us, forcing us both to grab hold of the remaining walls to keep steady.

Without hesitating, Alex pulls me away from the disintegrating rock. We’re flying down the hallway as fast as possible. Some sort of exit lies ahead.

We stop.

No…this can’t be happening.

There’s something standing in our way…something I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d find here, of all places.

Or someone, rather.

I whisper her name. I can’t raise my voice any louder.

“Mother…”

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU

“HELLO, CHLOE.”
She’s so calm, so cold. Just like the real world.

I step in front of Alex to confront her. “How the hell did you get here?” I ask.

"What?” Alex asks.

I’m too focused on my mother to listen. She moves in closer, slow and determined as if she were going to attack me, ignoring my question. “It’s so easy to lose control, isn’t it?” she says with arrogance bleeding through her voice. “Did you really think I had no idea as to what you were capable of, where you were going…how you were getting there?”

“Somehow, yes. It never occurred to me that you could drift, too.” I feel stupid about it now.

“You think you’re so special with your ability to drift.” She straightens her blouse, prim as ever. Even in my own little world. “In this family, you’re as common as dust.”

“You are too, then.” I glare at her. “And great-grandfather…and Tomas. None of us are all that special, are we?” I know I’m not alone now, and it gives me strength. “The difference is, they seem to care about me…unlike you.”

Her eyes radiate pity. “You couldn’t be more wrong, Chloe. Do you want to know the real reason I’ve kept you locked up, sheltered from the world and monitored by professionals?”

I shrug. “Because you’re embarrassed to have a daughter whose mind isn’t entirely whole? Like yours?” I spew. “What I don’t understand is how you just flipped a switch one day and shut off your feelings.” My throat tightens at the realization. But I can’t let her know the pain she’s caused. It would just be another victory for her.

“Chloe?” Alex asks.

I’m sure he doesn’t want to be swept up in this. But I have to confront her.

She just stares at me. “It’s because you are a little too much like me, my dear.” I have no idea what that means. “Yes, I drift too…yes, I always have. I enjoyed it for a very long time. But when I met your father, I put all of that aside. I couldn’t have him thinking I was insane or unstable, even. Who would have wanted a woman like that?”

It’s what she’s always said to me.

“So you changed for
my father
? Don’t you mean the man that you dominated and henpecked until he didn’t have a voice of his own?” My anger is on full display now. “The man who’s career you ruined for your own gain?” I swallow hard and slow my words. “The man you’ve been cheating on this whole time?”

Her mouth gapes. “Chloe Renee. You will not—”

“Speak to me that way…yeah. I know.” Alex stands behind me, just watching this nasty exchange as it happens. I hope I’m not scaring him. I have no doubt that she is.

Her words are intended to be harsh, but they sound weak. “I haven’t been unfaithful to your father.”

“Whatever.” I’ve seen her play dress-up for the doctors. I know she has an agenda with it.

“Let me finish,” she says. “I wasn’t cheating; I was seeking help. I found a doctor who prescribed a medication that prevented me from daydreaming. I was able to block out those abilities and stop my drifts, as well.”

Holy hell. She’s had a solution to it this whole time…

Alex takes my hand.

Not that I even want a solution now.

“Chloe, please. Just listen.” So, I do. I can’t wait to hear the rest. “When you were seven, I saw signs of your drifting. So familiar…so recognizable.”

“My drawing,” I say. She doesn’t have to confirm. I already know.

She looks behind me over in Alex’s direction. She’s breaking down. “I knew your mind was leaving your body and going somewhere else. I could see the smile on your face as you lay unconscious. I saw signs of you being in the presence of others.”

“You mean, you saw that I was
happy
” I say. “And that was too much for you to allow.”

“No…I saw that you were like me. I didn’t want it for either of us, but especially not for you. It’s not okay to do what you’re doing. You need to keep your feet planted on the ground and experience a real life like I figured out how to do. Living a life in a different reality isn’t normal.”

“Why?” I ask. I have Alex, and Celia. I have family, and San Diego. And Paris. “What is so wrong with drifting to somewhere better?”

She says one word. “James.” It chills me.

“He drifts, too…” The puzzle is coming together.

“Drift far enough away from yourself, and how many of you come back in your place?” Oh crap. I will become like James/Tomas…the rest of his personalities. The thought makes me queasy. I have no response. “What I did was for your own good,” she says.

I can’t agree. “No. It was for
your
own good,” I say.

Her hands clench by her sides. “When the doctors called to tell me that you were on the verge of death, I knew what you had done and who had helped you.” Suddenly, the truth is her friend. “I tracked Tomas down and dragged all of the details out of him. I’m sure you’re already aware that your wonderful uncle is a drug dealer. Don’t worry, he’s been readmitted to the institution. But he knew better, and you should have, too.”

“He tried to help me.”

“So have I!” Her voice cracks.

“But he told me the truth. All you ever did was lie to me.”

She clears her throat. “This isn’t a negotiation, Chloe. Starting now, you’re going to do whatever it takes to get your mind back to your body, to that institution, and we’re going to fix this once and for all.” Her eyes glisten. After all I’ve done to protect you, you owe me this much.”

I can’t believe she just said that.

“Chloe…” Alex says again. His voice sounds so sad.

“My entire
life
has been one complete lie, thanks to you!” Now it’s my voice that’s elevating. “You’ve held me captive in my own bedroom, closed down my life until it was nothing at all and made sure I had no happiness just so I would fit your definition of
normal
. You’ve been drugging yourself for twenty-five years—
your whole marriage
—just to make sure your husband doesn’t know the truth about you.” I sigh, more sad now than angry. “You’ve ruined his life as much as you’ve ruined mine.”

Other mothers might plead for forgiveness. Mine straightens her spine and brushes her bangs out of her eyes.

I’m finished with this now. “I owe you nothing.” I close the gap between us. “I want you out of my sight and out of my life, forever. I’m staying here with Alex. He loves me and wants me to be who I really am.”

My mother’s face practically folds in on itself. “Chloe, I don’t owe you an explanation. You are my daughter, and I was protecting you.”

“By locking me in our house?”

“Yes, that…”

She’s leaving something out. “That, and…what else, Mother?” More pieces slide into place. She pauses too long. “Strawberry cough syrup.”

Alex pulls on my hand. “Chloe?”

I don’t take my gaze from my mother. “You had Tomas give me a serum to make me forget how to drift, didn’t you?”

“What?” Her hand flies to her neck. She fidgets with her hair. “I never had you
drugged
, Chloe. That’s absurd.”

“Is it?” It feels good to let it all go. “I remember, Mother. I remember now.”

“You remember nothing. I had you hypnotized to forget about your condition. Not drugged,” she says. “What kind of monster do you think I am?”

I don’t want to answer that. It’ll just make more trouble. I just want her gone now. “Go away, Mother. Just leave.”

Alex is speaking in my ear now. “Chloe…”

“What?” I ask impatiently. “Oh sorry…I never introduced you, did I? Alex, this is my nemesis—I mean, my
mother,
Marie Valcourt. Mother, this is Alex. From the picture I drew when I was seven.” My voice clots in my throat.

Alex rests his hand on my shoulder. “Chloe, there is no one here but you and me.” His voice is calm.

“What? She’s right there…” I point to her.

My mother says something similar. “There’s no one here but us, Chloe.”

Alex steps in front of me to block the view of where my mother just walked off. “Why can’t I see her, and how is she seeing you?” he asks. He sounds worried…and a little more knowing than me.

“I…I don’t know.” Maybe I’ve split realms, like Tomas suspected. Maybe my mother can reach me in one, and Alex in another. Maybe this is where they overlap…the schasm.

“But she—” I turn again, and she’s gone.

 “Are you going to be okay?” His voice sweetens.

“I’m not sure.” I try to digest everything she just told me, wondering if I even saw her at all. “I just want to forget about her.” I say.

“You said some pretty harsh things to her.” He only heard my side of things, but that must have been enough. “I had no idea your life had been so bad.” He squeezes my hand.

My lip quivers. “Yeah…”

He pulls me over to him and brushes dirt off of my forehead. “We’re both going to get through this. I promise.”

“She told me Tomas had been admitted to the institution. Did you know about that?”

As if summoned, Tomas appears from behind a nearby wall and walks toward us. “Did you tell my mother about what you gave me, Tomas?” I’m more than a little angry now.

 “I haven’t seen your mother since the mall, Chloe. You know this already.”

“Do I? Because she was just here…” I realize that maybe she wasn’t.

Alex asks slowly, “Did you make another serum that can help her fix this mess?”

Tomas folds his hands in front of him. “No.”

“No?” I cry out. “I can’t be in those damn catacombs again, Tomas…I can’t see my mother again.” Everything is falling in on me.

“I realized as I was working that there is no pill, no serum that can fuse your rift.”

Alex clenches his fists. “But you said you’d come up with something.”

“And I have. But it isn’t medication.”

I don’t want any more games. I just want out of Paris.

“What, then?” I say. “Just tell me…no riddles, no games, no excuses.”

“It’s you, Chloe. You’re the key.” He does the mad scientist thing again. “You’re the fusion.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

TWO TO RECONNECT

“WHAT THE HELL?”
Alex isn’t hiding his anger anymore. I’m not sure I want to keep mine contained, either.

“I can’t give you anything to help you control this. You have to finish learning on your own.” He isn’t being cruel. He’s being honest.

“You’re right,” I tell him. “Absolutely right.” Alex seems relieved that there won’t be any other drug experimentation. “I’ve been getting stronger with it. I think maybe it’s time for me to take total control.”

Alex kisses me. “Good choice, Chloe.” He places his hand on my back. “You can do this. I believe in you. I believe in us.”

“Let’s try this then.”

He holds my hand. I’ve never drifted with someone else before. It feels strange…and right.

“Your place?” I ask him.

“Absolutely,” he agrees.

Tomas nods. “Beautiful.”

We close our eyes and focus on that picturesque house bathed in San Diego sunshine.

The wind from the waves comes in through the window…the scent of coconut and ocean and happiness…

Time and distance slip out from beneath me easier than they ever have before. I’m surprised and relieved when I open my eyes, and Alex is standing before me in the middle of his living room.

“Are we in one piece? Did it actually work?” I ask him, leaning in to kiss him.

He doesn’t respond.

I back away and I see it instantly: the blue is gone from his eyes. He’s looking through me as if he were staring right at a piece of glass, just as he would in the institution.

“Alex?” I rub his cheek softly, trying to rouse him. “Are you in there? Alex?” There’s still no response. I wave my hands in front of his face. His doesn’t even twitch. I nudge him. “Alex, look at me.” I say. “Can you say something?”

Celia comes around the corner and walks right past Alex as if she doesn’t see him. She passes right by me the same way and approaches the window, fixing her eyes on the glistening pool.