Scent of the Heart (16 page)

They continued at a maddeningly slow pace. Sev should be in skunk form so he could protect them, but if he didn’t have a shoulder to lean on, he’d be face first in the snow within a couple of steps. He huffed a sigh and Sev’s grip tightened.

“Are you okay?”

"I'm a crappy shaman.” It sounded whiney, even to his own ears.

"Why would you say something so stupid?"

“I’ve read through the grimoire many times and saw some of the medicines and magic those who came before me could do. I don't even understand half of it. If I did, maybe—”

"No." Sev's voice was harsh. "Our shamans had an oral history. Their knowledge was passed down from one to another. When a shaman was accepted by the enclave, he or she immediately took an apprentice, and the teachings were passed, old to young. You can't learn our history because there is no one to teach you. What you've accomplished on your own is amazing. And you have a lifetime to learn. We have a lifetime to learn together. No one, maybe other than you, expects you to be an expert in eight months. No one could, even with the foreknowledge of the other shaman."

A laugh bubbled out of Casey, and Sev gazed into his eyes. “Are you okay? Do you need to rest?”

“No, it’s not that at all.”

“Then what?”

"You said oral."

“Yes, I did. I don’t understand what makes that so funny.”

Casey sighed. “God, I really need to teach you guys classes on humor.”

A constant stream of banter was the only thing keeping Casey from passing out. They’d found an area that provided them with a bit of shelter, a copse of trees to act as a buffer against the elements, and Sev had insisted they take advantage of it. No matter how he tried, Casey couldn’t pull up enough magic to start even the smallest of fires, so Sev did what he could to keep Casey warm, wrapping around him and holding tight.

“Tell me about the enclave before Zak came here,” Casey asked, his voice sounding as if it came from a great distance.

“Why would you want to know that?”

“I want to know the man I’m joined to. I’ve told you countless stories about me, but you’re always so closed off about yourself.”

Sev tensed and loosened his hold, then scooted back a fraction.

“Hey, you don’t have to. I was just curious. Talk to me about anything. I just want to hear your voice.”

There was an agonizingly long moment before Sev sighed and pulled Casey against him once more.

“My parents were put to death by Elizar for plotting against him, even though they weren’t. If they had, though, I would not have been prouder. He was disgusting. He wanted me and my brothers for…play. My parents refused to allow it, insisting that he banish us, which would have been a blessing, even if he had sent Kell to…”

Sev’s voice trailed off.

“Even if he had sent Kell to kill your family,” Casey finished.

A sharp nod was his answer.

“Kell broke into my home one evening and dragged my parents from their bed. Vadim and Mikhail were terrified and clung to me. I pulled them as close as I could when my mother screamed at me to take care of them. They came back late into the night and told me they were going to have to go away again. I could see Kell standing in the shadows, watching us.

“I begged them not to go, but they said there was no choice. They’d struck a deal with Elizar and the pact had been sealed. In exchange for our safety, my parents would give themselves up and fight in the arena. If they won, we would all be free to go. If they lost, then my brothers and I would be exiled to the outer ring.

“I woke up one morning to a sound outside the house, and found my parents’ bodies. I never found out what they’d fought, but there was so much blood. I gathered them up and took them to the edge of the forest, where I buried them. It’s part of the reason I used to run there, because it was the place I felt closest to them.”

“Your parents were amazing people,” Casey said softly. He’d never known them, but the fact that they were willing to give everything spoke of their love. Briefly, Casey wondered if he would ever know that kind of bond, but then Sev stroked his hair, and Casey felt the depth of his mate’s feelings and knew he would never doubt his place again.

Sev’s fingers traced over Casey’s skin. Deep gouges were streaked with blood. He’d cleaned them as best as he could, using snow to wash them. Casey had complained about the chill, but sighed when the snow numbed the tears in his sides, which were harsh and red.

“Don’t you have something I can use on these?” Sev asked.

“No. I left my bag at your house. A three hundred fifty pound jaguar is kind of scary, you see.”

Sev snorted. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were afraid of anything.”

The silence worried Sev. “I’m afraid of losing what I’ve found,” Casey admitted. “Elizar scares me.”

“You’ll beat him. I’m certain of it.”

“You don’t understand. In the spirit world is where I’m strongest. Without a body, in my spirit form, I should have been able to best Elizar, but he wiped the floor with both Jake and me. If the Protector and I, together, can’t beat him, what chance do I have alone?”

“You’re not alone. I’ll always be by your side.”

“No offense, Sev, but Jake is like a living battery. I get an extra jolt of power when he’s with me. I’ve no doubt you’d ground me, but to beat Elizar, I’m going to need to find a way to increase my strength. I hope if we find that item and destroy it, Elizar doesn’t retain what he’s already got.”

“If we find it, will that release Mikhail?” Sev asked hopefully.

“I wish I could say yes. I don’t know if he was sick already, and that allowed Elizar to take control, or if Elizar somehow made him ill, and that weakened him enough to slip in. If we get Mikky free, would he be strong enough to survive?”

“Yes. Mikhail’s overcome so much already. For the longest time he held me together after our parents died. But I was so mired in pity for myself and the burden I’d been given, I couldn’t cope. Mikhail stepped in and took care of Vadim and himself, until I finally got my act together. But he became sullen, because he was supplanted in the role he’d stepped into. I think that was what caused him to lash out and want to be away. Mikhail has always been a fierce protector in his own right. He isn’t a shifter, but he has the heart of the most noble of them.”

Sev pulled back when Casey shuddered. He glanced down and was shocked to see Casey’s skin turning ghastly white.

“Sev?” he croaked. “I’m cold. Might be better if you go on without me. Don’t think I’m going to make it too much farther.”

“I’m not going without you. Don’t even try to make me—”

“Elizar has to be s-s-stopped.”

“And you’re going to be the one who does it. Get up.”

“Can’t. My feet were tingling, but now I can’t feel them at all. Might have frostbite.”

Sev grabbed Casey’s shoulders and hauled him into a standing position. “You listen to me. My mate is a powerful shaman. He can do incredible things, and he will keep going.” Begging the spirits for aid, he lifted Casey off the ground and cradled him. “I can’t do this without you.”

“Gotta. You’re the only one w-w-who can.”

“What happened to your heat pack?”

“Ran out. Can’t feel my fingers anymore either. This sucks. I’m going to die in a freezer.”

“I’ll damn well carry you if I have to.”

Casey coughed, then chuckled. “I think you’ve b-b-been spending too much t-t-ime with me. You’re starting to sound like me.”

“That’s a compliment if I ever heard one. Remember, you don’t make it home, you won’t be
getting lucky
.”

“I k-k-know, but I can’t go on. Seriously, I can’t feel any part of my body anymore. Figures my mouth would be the last thing to stop working.”

“Then carry you it’s going to be.”

“Don’t be s-s-stupid. The terrain is too rough. Leave me here. Come back when you’re done. I’ll still be hanging on.”

Sev glared down at Casey, whose attempt at a smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Sev began to strip off his clothes and wrap Casey, desperate to keep as much warmth on his mate as he could. Weak protests didn’t stop him.

“You can’t do this,” Casey whispered. “We’ll both die.”

“Then you need to stop me. Work up a spark, or I’m going to toss you over my shoulder and move on naked. I’m more resistant to the cold, but I’ve never tested it like this. If we’re to die, we’ll do it together.”

“I hate you,” Casey muttered.

“That’s fine. I love me enough for both of us.”

“Yeah. Totally my line.”

Sev put Casey onto a bed of leaves, then stood back. “You only need to get it started. I’ll tend to it, and get it warm enough for you.”

The chill began to seep through Sev’s skin. The cold was bitter. He had to come up with something to keep them both moving, or they really would die. He fixed his gaze on Casey, whose lips were stuttering as he tried to work up a slight bit of magic. When he slumped to the ground, Sev feared all was lost.

“C-c-can’t. The well is d-d-dry.”

A quick shift, then Sev spun and stamped his feet. He raised his tail, praying that what he was about to do would have the desired effect. The spray that emanated from his scent glands was warm, but it also carried his scent. He banked on that to get Casey’s heart pumping. A quick shift, and he knelt next to his mate.

“Do you feel that? My scent surrounds you. It warms you and energizes you. You can…no, you
will
tap the magic. I won’t have my family die because you can’t get it up.”

Casey gave a weak snort. “I never had a complaint before.”

Sev scooped up a handful of dry twigs and leaves. “Ignite these, or we’re all going to die. I’m not asking for much, but I want to live. I want that dream, you and me raising a child. A house of our own. Holding hands with you.” There was silence for a moment. Then Sev began to shout. “I need
you
, and if you can’t find the energy to fight for me then….then spirits damn you!”

“Will you shut up,” Casey snapped. “I’m concentrating.”

It wasn’t much. A bit of warmth in Sev’s hand, followed by a thin plume of smoke. A spark, just enough to catch on one of the leaves was all it took. Sev tended the tiny glow, urging it to build upon itself, to become a small fire, then a larger one. He dragged Casey near it, being careful not to get too close, and also keeping an eye on it so the flames didn’t burn out of control.

“Never doubt my ability to get it up,” Casey whispered, then his head fell back and he slept.

***

He didn’t want to open his eyes. Weakness wound around him like a snake, crushing him and sucking away his energy. Reluctantly he peeked through slitted eyes and watched his mate tend the fire. Trees obscured the night sky, but the stars and moon could be seen in flashes.

“How long?” Casey croaked.

“About six hours,” Sev replied, poking the small log deeper into the flames. “Are you feeling better?”

“Nope. Not in the least. It was a good nap, though. I think I needed it.”

“You definitely did.”

“So, I stink to high heaven, right?”

“A bear came through a while ago. He sniffed you and ran off crying.”

Casey chuckled and inhaled deeply. “That’s okay. I like it.”

He turned his attention to Sev, who was biting at his lower lip. He could feel the tension flowing from his mate.

“This is going to be a stupid question, all things considered. What’s wrong?”

“Do you think Jake got free?”

“No. He’s still there.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Casey wiped his forefinger over his side, showing Sev the droplets of blood. “Blood thorn is a powerful spell. Something novices shouldn’t mess with. In order to keep it active, it drains blood from me. So if I’m still bleeding, that means he’s still there and trying to fight it.”

“That’s insane!”

Casey shrugged one shoulder and winced. “Price of power. Low level charms drain me, high level ones
drain
me.”

“Stop it then.”

“I do that, and Jake gets free. It wouldn’t take him long to catch us, and I don’t have anything left that can stop him. Hell, I’m surprised it’s kept him this long.”

“And at what cost?”

“It’s only a little blood.”

“How much? What’s the real cost of the spell?”

Casey averted his eyes, knowing he couldn’t meet Sev’s gaze.

“You don’t know, do you?” Sev demanded.

“Told you I was a crappy shaman.”

“Tell me everything.”

A quick shrug, and Casey decided to come clean. “I found some books buried in Hakiim’s collection. They contain what Dungeons and Dragons players might refer to as black magic. I don’t think that a shaman would perceive it as such, because it’s attuned to nature. They’re really powerful. I knew I wasn’t ready for any of them, but circumstances made me rethink it. If I have to give a little blood to keep you safe, then that’s what I’ll do.”

“Noble idiot,” Sev grumbled. “You’ve got to break the spell. There has to be another way to stop Jake without hurting either of you.”

“Then give me a way,” Casey snapped. “You think I don’t know the risks? That in order to keep the enclave safe, I could be killing my best friend or I might end up dying myself? Listen to me closely. I. Have. Nothing. Blood thorn is the only thing I know of that might hold Jake, and considering his shifter abilities, he’s going to regenerate faster than I am. Unless Elizar forces him to try to break free—which I don’t think he can—that’s the only thing I have.”

Sev was quiet and wouldn’t let Casey take his hand.

“I’m not going to let him get you. I can’t. And it’s not just for your sake. If Jake took a life, well, the life of someone who didn’t deserve it, he would be destroyed. I need to save him and protect you. Please, try to understand.”

Sev huffed. “I’m capable of protecting myself. I know you’re more used to women, but I don’t need protecting.”

An inelegant snort burst from Casey. “Dude, if you had seen the women I dated, you wouldn’t say stuff like that. Believe me, they were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. I’m not saying you’re weak, only that I need you. I fully expect you’re going to protect me…again. It’s what family does for each other. You should know that more than anyone. Your parents protected you, you take care of your brothers, and we take care of each other. Or am I wrong?”