Scattered Colors (41 page)

“Um…” I dragged out, twisting my hands together in my lap. “Are you okay?”

All I got in response was a quick nod. I felt my self-confidence dwindle with each passing moment.

“Are you mad?”

His demeanor softened as he looked over at me, the heat still evident in his eyes. “No, sweetheart. I’m not mad, but if I touch you right now, I’m liable to lose control and never stop.”

My entire body heated at his confession and I suddenly
wanted
him to lose control. Just as I opened my mouth to say so, the cab came to a halt.

“We’re here,” the driver announced in a raspy smoker’s voice.

Parker reached into his pocket and pulled his wallet out, tossing a few bills to the driver before opening the door and helping me from the back, never releasing my hand from his own. Neither of us spoke as we ascended the stairs to his apartment. He used his free hand to rummage in his pocket for his keys and unlocked the door, pulling me behind him. The sound of the deadbolt sliding into place echoed through the space, sending my heart rate into overdrive. Parker’s hands and lips were on my skin before my eyes had time to adjust to the dark room.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” he spoke against my ear before giving the lobe a soft nip with his teeth. “At any point.”

“Mmm, don’t stop,” I moaned, my head falling back at the intoxicating feel of his body against mine. That seemed to be all the reassurance he needed. Sliding his hands down my thighs, he cupped the backs of my knees and hauled me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he moved toward his bedroom.

I could feel how hard he was through his jeans as each step he took pressed his erection into my center, sending shockwaves of pleasure I hadn’t felt in two long years through my body. The instant we entered his room, he kicked the door shut behind him and dropped me on the bed, causing me to whimper at the loss of his touch.

“Christ, gorgeous,” he growled as he crawled across my body. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me, right now?”

“Please,” I begged wantonly, needing to feel his body against mine more than anything else. “Please, Parker.”

“What do you need, sweetheart?” he whispered in my ear before trailing feather-light kisses across my neck and collarbone. As he hovered over me on his hands and knees, it felt like there were miles separating us. I was desperate for him.

“You,” I said on an exhale. “I need you.”

I blinked rapidly, wracked by a massive wave of emotion my confession had just caused. I needed him to the point that it almost scared me. Before I could wrap my head around what I’d just admitted, he was off the bed and yanking his clothes off like a mad man. I had no time to bask in the glory of Parker’s delectable naked form before his hands were on me, stripping me of every article of clothing. Once he finished, he hovered over me once again, staring at me with so much devotion I felt tears well up in my eyes.

“You have me. You’ve had me since the moment I walked onto that beach and saw you sitting there looking so sad. You’ll have me forever, baby.”

He entered me in one quick, hard thrust and I cried out at the combination of pleasure and pain it caused. He filled me so perfectly, so completely that the sensation of it all was almost too much to bear and I had to clench my eyes shut.

“Did I hurt you?”

When I finally opened my eyes and looked up at his face, the concern staring back at me had me reaching up to run my fingers along his jaw.

“No. Please don’t stop.”

Parker pulled out slowly so as not to hurt me before gently pushing back inside. I felt my body relax with every slow thrust he made. I had no concept of time as he made love to me slowly. It could have been minutes or hours that passed, but the pressure low in my belly grew stronger and stronger, and his gentle movements weren’t enough.

“Faster, Parker. Harder.”

He granted my request, pulling out and pushing back in so hard my back arched off the bed and my head fell back into the pillows, a deep, guttural moan escaping from my throat. I panted his name over and over as he continued to move. I felt myself getting closer to release every time he plunged back into me.

One of Parker’s hands wrapped in my hair, directing my head so we were looking into each other’s eyes. “God, Freya,” he groaned. “I love you so much.”

I gasped at his declaration as his hips sped up. “Love you so fucking much, baby. Never stopped.”

“
Parker
,” I whimpered.

“Don’t leave me.” I couldn’t respond. I had no idea what to say. His eyes pleaded with me as his body took everything mine had to give. The pleasure building inside of me coupled with the fierce look in his eyes had rendered me speechless. “Don’t leave me again, baby. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to.”

With that, I shattered completely, crying out his name as wave after wave of the most intense pleasure I’d ever felt pulled me under. My release was so long, so forceful, that by the time I started coming down, I was gasping for much needed air. Three more thrusts was all it took for Parker to follow me over the edge, burying his head in the crook of my shoulder as he groaned with his own climax. His arms shook before finally giving out. As he rolled to his side, he snaked his arms around me, holding on tightly like he was afraid I’d disappear if he let go. Sleep eventually tugged at my consciousness insistently as my mind reeled. Euphoria and fear battled against each other in my mind in those last few conscious seconds.

As sleep pulled me under, I couldn’t help but question which one was going to win out.

I could practically hear her struggling with her thoughts.

I’d been lying with her wrapped in my arms for close to an hour. I worked to keep my breathing steady so she would think I was asleep, but the truth was I’d been awake the whole time. It was impossible to sleep when what I’d been craving for the past couple of years was finally in my bed, her sweet, warm body pressed against me. I spent the time studying every curve and slope of her face, counting every single freckle that spread across her nose. I wanted to memorize her every feature. When she woke up I knew, deep in my gut, that she would start overthinking everything, analyzing what had happened between us to death until she could come up with a logical reason to shut herself down once again.

I tightened my arms around her waist when she shifted in my hold, trying to slip out quietly.

“Been wondering when you were going to try and make your move,” I whispered in her ear. Her body grew stiff as a board for several seconds before she turned to look at me over her shoulder.

“You’ve been awake this whole time?”

“Yep.” I couldn’t help but grin. She looked so cute all wide-eyed and busted. “I’ve been listening to those wheels spinning in your head for the last hour.”

She huffed out a long breath before shifting in my arms again. I let her go this time, but only because it was obvious she needed a little space. I’d give her a few feet but over my dead body was she leaving the apartment. What had happened between us tonight had taken intensity to an entirely new level. I got that she was freaked, but we needed to talk through it.

A smile spread across my lips as she picked up a t-shirt from my floor and gave it a sniff test before pulling it over her head. I loved that she was wearing my shirt even though the damn thing fell to the middle of her thighs, covering up all that beautiful, naked skin.

“First of all, let me just start off by saying I’m clean.” Freya’s brows furrowed in confusion as she rested against my desk. Obviously she wasn’t planning on coming back to bed anytime soon, so I climbed from under the covers and slid on a pair of boxer briefs. I almost considered throwing on a pair of jeans when I saw her bright blue eyes checking me out. Yeah, I figured I’d stick with just the underwear.

“We didn’t use protection, baby. I’m clean, I swear. I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I was with you—”

“Really?!” Her eyes widened to the size of salad plates.

“Don’t look so surprised. I told you, you’re it for me.”

“This is all just—” She ran her hands through her hair anxiously. I knew exactly what she was about to say, and although it twisted my gut into knots, it didn’t lessen my determination. “It’s moving so fast. I need some time to think.”

I tried so hard to remain composed, I really did. But it was damn hard to do when I stood there watching her backslide right in front of me. My anger fueled me to fight for her, for us.

“That’s bullshit and you know it, gorgeous.”

Her eyes flicked to me in surprise before narrowing into angry slit. “Excuse me?”

“You don’t need time to think. Say what’s really going through your mind. You’re freaking out and want space so you can talk yourself out of this. You’re getting inside your head, trying to convince yourself that what happened tonight was a mistake.”

“Can you blame me?” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Past example doesn’t really bode well for us, Parker. We were a disaster!”

My anger exploded at that. “We were fucking perfect!” I yelled.

“How can you say that? After all the pain we went through, how can you possibly think we were perfect?”

“Because those months we were together were the happiest I’ve ever been, and I know it was the same for you. You can’t deny that. I felt it every time we touched. I saw it every time I looked at you.”

“We were dependent on each other.”

“No! We were in love; there’s a fucking difference. I’m not going to stand here and let you downplay that. We loved each other. You’re scared, I get that. Hell, baby, I’m scared, too. But I’m more terrified of what my future’s going to look like if you’re not in it. I never stopped loving you, and you can try to convince yourself otherwise, but you never stopped loving me either. I
know
you didn’t. That’s what has you so freaked out.”

“Stop,” she pleaded and the agony in her voice broke my heart. I couldn’t keep the distance between us any longer. I had to touch her. Closing the space, I grabbed hold of her face and stared down at her, every ounce of the love I felt for her reflecting in my eyes. I knew she saw it with the way her eyes widened, with the hitch in her breath.

“Fight for us, baby. I’m begging you, please fight for us. Love like ours isn’t something you get more than once in a lifetime. Don’t give up on this.”

She squeezed her eyes closed and her hands came up to wrap around my wrists. For a second fear, took over, fear that she was going to pull away, that she was going to deny what I knew in my heart she felt. But when she opened them and looked at me,
really
looked at me, I saw the same emotion I had reflecting back at me in those watery, brilliant blue depths and I felt hope. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the shrill ring of a cellphone. I wanted to growl in frustration. I wanted to find whoever it was who had just interrupted us and rip them apart limb from limb.

“What the hell?”

“Ignore it,” I insisted, trying to get her focus back on me.

“Parker, it’s three in the morning. It might be an emergency.” She pulled away from me and began rummaging around on my bedroom floor. She finally located her purse and pulled her phone out, her brows furrowing as she looked at the screen.

“Who is it?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know.” Her finger swiped across the screen and she brought it up to her ear. “Hello…? Yes, I’m Freya.” My chest seized as all the color drained from her face. “What?” she asked on a choked sob before her legs gave out and she collapsed on the bed. I was next to her in an instant, wrapping her in my arms to hold her up as tears began pouring from her eyes.

I took the phone from her hand, ready to kill whoever was on the other line. “Who the fuck is this?” I snarled through the phone. All I could see was red. I wanted to do was reach through the phone and murder the person who’d just hurt her.

The man on the other line stuttered nervously. “I-I’m sorry?”

“Who the fuck is this and what the hell did you just say to Freya?”

“Son, I’m Dr. Varger. I work with Freya’s father.” My stomach plummeted as he spoke. “May I ask who I’m speaking with?”

“P-Parker,” I stumbled, a million worst-case scenarios running through my mind as to why this man was calling in the middle of the night. I looked down at Freya, curled in my embrace as she cried uncontrollably. “I’m her boyfriend. She’s a mess, so what the hell’s going on?”