Scattered Ashes (22 page)

In the bathroom, she pulled out the lone content of the sack—a pregnancy test.  Even looking at it made her grit her teeth.  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have another baby.  She did.  Nick was the brightest spot in her whole world.  But right now things were so upended with Michael, and she felt adrift, especially at the thought of him having an affair.

Granted, maybe her mother was right.  Maybe it was just a lot of long hours that he worked keeping him away from home all the time, but Nicole didn’t feel that was right.  When they had dated, Michael hadn’t had nearly the trouble with traveling as he did now.

Still, she mused, one thing at a time.  And the first thing was peeing on a stick.  Once that was accomplished, she sat on the toilet and waited for her future to develop into one or two lines.  At first she thought the results were negative, but in the last couple of seconds, a faint second line appeared.  Nicole slumped against the back of the toilet and kept staring, as if that would make the second line disappear.  She didn’t need a baby right now, not with all the stress between her and Michael.

A soft knock at the door made Nicole jump.

“Nicole?  You in here?”

Who else would it be?
She thought savagely.  “Just a minute.  I’ll be right out.”  She crammed the test, the box, and the directions back into the sack from which they’d come.  Trust Michael to find her while she was doing a pregnancy test.

A moment later she emerged, expecting to find Michael standing in the hallway.  Instead, he had probably gone back to bed.  Shaking her head, she tossed the bag into the trash and headed to her bedroom.

“Hey, you,” Michael said in a sleepy voice as he held his arms wide.  “C’mere.”

Stress tensed her back and shoulders.  Still, she forced herself to walk over to the bed and lie next to him, not nearly so comfortable with the dark and his proximity as she had once been.  Not five minutes after he wrapped his body around hers, Michael drifted back to sleep.  She could tell by his easy exchange of breath.  She envied him that.  Then again, who’s to say what Michael dreamed of.  

Chapter Fourteen

Seven months later.

Jordan had been lying in his apartment for the last hour.  More than once, he’d started to drift off, only to jerk awake again.  He could blame it on any number of things—trying to get settled, dreams about Alyssa and the divorce.  Just plain stress, but somehow it seemed simpler than that, as though an answer was right in front of him.  He just didn't know what it was.

The air conditioner had kicked on and off, but the room was incredibly hot.  Maybe that was why he just couldn’t get settled, no matter how he tried.  Shaking his head in disgust, he threw the covers back and strode to the window.  Peering out, he spotted a full moon low in the sky with clouds to either side.

It was a beautiful night.  Of course, Jordan definitely would have preferred to be sleeping right now because getting to work at eight tomorrow was going to suck.  Then again, he hadn’t slept well for some time, probably not since he and Alyssa had finally split.  Part of the world felt out of kilter.  Maybe it was sleeping in a bed big enough for two people.  Invariably, he kept waiting for someone to fill the other side, but it wasn’t going to happen--or maybe it was just losing both his wife and his best friend at the same time.

It really didn’t matter what the reason had been.

As he propped both hands on the sill and looked out into the moonlight, he heard his cell begin to play a Bon Jovi song—“Never Say Goodbye.”  He glanced at the display:  Nicole.

He glanced at the clock.  Two-thirty.  Could it be things were off in her world as well?  There was only one way to find out.  He flipped the phone open.  “Hello?”

“Jordan?”

He frowned at the sound of Nicole’s voice.  It had been months since they’d spoken.  “Hey, how are you?” he asked, stepping slowly back to the bed so he could ease himself down on the mattress.

“I’m…okay.”  Her voice wavered slightly, and he sensed that, whatever she might be, okay wasn’t it.

“So what made you call at 2:30 in the morning?”  He raked his fingers through his hair, unsure what to ask or how to ask it but sensing she wanted to talk just the same.  The air conditioner kicked on again, and he glanced toward it.

He heard her inhale sharply.  “Oh, my God.  I didn’t even realize it was that late.  I am so sorry.”

Without thought, he raised his hand to reassure her, even though he knew she couldn’t see it.  “It’s all right.  I was having trouble sleeping, anyway, so you didn’t wake me.”  He took a deep breath.  “So I guess I’d like to know what’s keeping you up this late.”  Perhaps he could have said it better, but she had this way of always keeping him on the edge of everything, so he wasn’t sure what to say.

“It’s just been kind of a rough day.”  More wavering.  Was she crying?  He flopped back on the bed as his stomach tightened nervously.

He swallowed hard, not sure how to proceed.  “In what way?”

“I should go.”  She was definitely crying.  He could hear it now.  “I shouldn’t have even called.”

“It’s okay,” he insisted.  “Just breathe and talk to me.  I don’t want you to hang up when you sound this upset.”

A pause.  He wondered if she would hang up, and if she didn’t, he hoped like hell he could figure out what he was doing.

“It’s Michael.  I think he’s…having an affair.”

Jordan cringed.  Trying to get his reply together, he rubbed his forehead.  “What makes you think that, Nicole?”

“He’s always gone--always, even when he should be here because it matters.”  Her voice almost died away at the end, and Jordan could hear her sobbing openly.

“Take a deep breath.   Let’s think this through, okay?”  He rose slowly and started to pace.  “How much is he home?”

“Not much--and he’s definitely not interested in me when he gets here.”

Crap
, Jordan thought.  One was a coincidence.  Both of them were kind of pointing to the same thing: an affair.  Reluctantly he said, “Well, that does sound kind of suspicious.  Is it possible he’s just tired?”

“Maybe.  I don’t know.”  Her tone shifted slightly, as though she were trying to regain control of her emotions.

“Look, Nicole, I’m not trying to downplay what you’re feeling.  There’s a chance you could be right.  I just want you to approach this rationally, and considering how much emotion is invested in your marriage, that isn’t so easy to do.”  He took a deep breath, hoping he’d said at least something right because he sure didn’t feel it.

“Yeah, you’re definitely right.  Maybe I’m the one who's too tired.  Jordan?”

“Yeah?” he asked, closing his eyes and trying to imaging her sitting there, her long, dark hair flowing around her face and wide eyes, luminous with pain and tears.

“Sarah and I were going to take a road trip this weekend.  I wanted to know if you might be able to meet up with us.”

Jordan’s shoulders sank, and he tried to tell himself not to even think about this because the last thing he needed to do was insert himself into the middle of a troubled marriage, and it was more than a little obvious by Nicole’s tears that her marriage was in trouble.  He just didn’t know how much, and probably neither would she until it was all said and done.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Nicole.  It sounds like you’ve got some things going on, and the last thing I want to do is cause problems.”

“We’re going to Sunset Beach, North Carolina.  I’ve never been to the ocean.”

Jordan smiled.  “You’re going to love it.  I’ve often thought of moving to one coast or another.”

“Will you come?” she asked, her voice painfully soft, subdued by fresh tears.  “We’re going to be staying at the Causeway Inn.  I could book you a room.”  Her tone was pleading, and he knew he shouldn’t accept, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.

“Okay.  I’ve got some time off coming.  I’ll be there around five on Friday.   Will that work?”

“Yeah, it’ll be great.”  For the first time since he’d picked up the phone, he thought he heard her smile which made him smile.

A couple of moments later, he finally hung up, but only after he'd felt confident Nicole was in better spirits.  He knew he should've said no, but he figured, what the hell?  It wasn’t like they were going to be alone.  They weren’t even going to be staying in the same room, and Sarah, her best friend, would be with them.  What could go wrong like that?

“You what?” Sarah asked as she pulled into the Causeway Inn’s parking lot.  Her foot stuttered on the gas as though even it couldn’t believe what Nicole had just said.  Sarah glared at her best friend, not feeling a bit sorry for her, even in this ninety-degree heat.  Yeah, she was eight months pregnant.  She had also done something unthinkably stupid.

“I invited Jordan to meet up with us for the weekend.”  She looked at her watch.  “He should be getting here in about thirty minutes or so if he doesn’t get held up in traffic.”

Shaking her head, Sarah edged into a parking space.  “Are you out of your mind, Nic?  You said you needed a stress-free weekend, which this was supposed to be.”

“Jordan doesn’t stress me out.”  Nicole dabbed at the sweat beading on her forehead.

“No, but he definitely might stress Michael out.”  Sarah grabbed the key from the ignition and stored them in her purse, still shaking her head in utter disbelief.

“Well, maybe.  If he knew.  But he’ll never find out.”  Nicole eased herself out of the car, immediately tired from carrying around her daughter, who was due to enter the world next month.

Sarah strode around the car and grabbed her best friend’s arm.  “Are you insane?  Why are you meeting a guy you fell for in college when you're married and about to shoot out baby number two?”

Nicole glared at her and jerked free.  “There’s nothing wrong with meeting up with an old friend, Sarah.  If I were planning on doing something, this would have been a solo trip, and you know it.  Besides, why don’t you ask Michael about his little extracurricular activities?  I’m sure that might clear up a few things.” 

Nicole didn’t wait for Sarah to catch up.  Instead, she strode into the lobby and pulled out her credit card.  She could see Sarah walking in behind, and as she paid for the room, neither spoke to the other.  It appeared they had reached an impasse of sorts, but Nicole didn’t care.  Sarah was her best friend, not her keeper, and if Nicole wanted to invite Jordan to meet up with them, she was an adult.  She knew what her vows were, and she wouldn’t break them even if she didn’t believe Michael had kept his intact.  Still, that didn’t mean it wouldn't be nice to have a little company around.  Surely she deserved that much.

Once she'd finished paying, she turned to say something to Sarah when movement at the corner of the lobby drew her attention.  She glanced over and found Jordan standing there, both hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets.  As their eyes met, they both smiled, and she rushed to him.

“Jordan!”  She embraced him quickly, and even though he wasn’t totally prepared, he caught her easily enough, held her for a moment to enjoy the feel of her in his arms, and slowly pulled back to take a look at the swollen belly he’d felt when they'd hugged.

“Oh, wow.”  He smiled broadly.  “When are you due?”

“Next month.”

He spotted another woman coming toward them, a frown toying at her lips.  When she stood beside them, she cleared her throat and glared meaningfully at Nicole.