Scary Dead Things - 02 (5 page)

When nobody answered, I locked eyes with the closest of Samuel's team. In as cold and dead of a voice as I could muster, I asked, “Do you still want to fight?” After a second or two of the stare-down, he slowly shook his head. I then went down the line, asking the same thing to each and every HBC vamp in the room. Now
this
part I wish someone was taping because, damn, I bet it looked badass. I felt like Don fucking Corleone, I tell you.

When I had reached the last one - and received the exact same answer from him as from the rest - I said, “Regardless of whichever of you is now in charge, it appears that this coven war is over. We shall go back to where we were before and respect each others’ members and territory. Agreed?” When there was silence around the table for a bit too long, I repeated myself with a little more (
empty
) threat in my voice. “Agreed!?”

This time, there were nods all around the table from HBC and Village Coven vamps alike. “Very well. It is done. Only one final business remains. In accordance with the laws of our people, as the victor of this battle I may set forth further terms of my choosing.”

There were a lot of ugly looks around the table at that. Sally had told me of this little clause in vampire turf wars, with perhaps a little too much eager glee in her voice. I could use this time to do something like expand our own territory, demand that the Howard Beach Coven cede some of their membership numbers to us, or any such thing so as to further weaken them. No wonder she hadn't wanted a successful treaty. Little miss hot pants behind me had herself some ambition.

“The terms are...” I started, every eye in the room upon me, “this safe house is pretty trashed. Clean this place the fuck up, OK, guys?”

There was an audible gasp of relief from the HBC vamps, as well as a sharp intake of breath behind me that my sensitive vampire ears picked up on. I could feel Sally’s eyes boring holes in the back of my head. Heh! Fuck you, bitch. This'd teach her to remember that I wasn't her little boy toy to screw with as she pleased. Well, OK, maybe that was a poor way to phrase it. Sally had looks that would make her seem right at home on the cover of
Cosmo
. If she and the phrase 'Screw with me as she pleased' ever came up, who was I to argue?

* * *

The
peace
conference adjourned, and the HBC members left to return to their territory. I likewise ordered my contingent back to Manhattan. There had been enough misadventure for one night, and dawn was only a few hours away anyway. While most of what you know about vampires is total bullshit, the whole catch on fire under the rays of the sun thing was pretty much spot on. A few minutes of sunshine was enough to turn even the strongest of vampires into a plate of flambé.

Once the others had left, I finally relaxed in my seat and let out a huge sigh of relief. Now that the action was over and the prying eyes were off me, all of my bravado left. I was once again just Bill Ryder, an online game programmer who still had no idea how I wound up neck deep in a pool of vampire related shit.

“So are you really that dumb, or did you just let them off the hook as a big
fuck you
to me?” said a voice from over my shoulder, jarring me out of my reverie. It was Sally. Somehow I knew she hadn't left with the others. She was one of the few vampires who knew the real me, not the pseudo-scary ‘
Dr. Death
’ persona I tried to make everyone else believe in. On the one hand, it was nice to have her around. I didn't have to pretend to be anyone else with her...and she wasn't exactly hard on the eyes either, as I believe I’ve already mentioned. Any comfortable feeling, however, was tempered by the fact that Sally was a sarcastic bitch with an attitude problem that could have spanned the Verrazano Bridge and beyond.

“Maybe a little of both,” I quipped without bothering to turn towards her.

“Fair enough. I probably deserved it. Although you threw away a perfectly good opportunity to increase our leverage in the vampire community.”

“
Our
leverage?” I asked.

“Well, you are our fearless leader,” she purred, putting a little playfulness into her voice. Heh, times like this were when I trusted her least. At least you knew where you stood when she was in full-blown bitch mode. “I just keep the books in line,” she finished.

“That you do.”

“You're pissed, aren't you?”

“Oddly enough, no,” I answered truthfully. “Don't get me wrong, I should be. Your little game almost got me killed, and you definitely got a lot of other people killed tonight.”

“Nobody who'll really be missed.”

“That’s beside the point,” I answered. “We're supposed to be partners in crime here; however, it usually turns out I'm the partner while you're the one committing all the crimes.”

In my mind's eye, I saw her grinning at that. “You’ve probably got me there. I suppose it wouldn't kill me to keep you in the loop a little more.”

“That would be nice,” I pointed out.

“But still, you're really not pissed?”

“No,” I replied. “That's the crazy part! No matter what bullshit exploded in my face in the last few hours, I don't feel anything but relief. I'm here in the middle of a murder scene that would give the NYPD a conniption; however, the only thing I can think is that this is the first time in months that I don't feel like someone is standing behind me holding a stake!”

“Eh hem,” Sally said in response.

Sure enough, I turned around in my chair, and she was standing there holding a splintered off two-by-four.

“Et tu, Brute'?” I asked.

“Sorry,” she said, tossing it aside. “I was holding onto it in case the premises weren't entirely clear.”

“Allow me to rephrase myself,” I continued. “This is the first time in months I don't feel like someone is going to try to kill me every five minutes - or are you going to pull out a shotgun and ruin that one, too?”

“Left it in my other dress.”

“I thought the strip club wasn't letting you leave your laundry there anymore.”

She ignored the quip and asked, “So how are you going to celebrate your newfound lease on life?”

“I'm thinking maybe a few weeks off from the vampire lifestyle. That is, if you think you can hold the fort down.”

“No problem,” she replied in an innocent tone. “What kind of trouble could I possibly get into?”

I probably shouldn't have, but I was tired and my defenses were down. Thus, I couldn't help but laugh.

Before I was allowed to go on my infernal vacation of the damned, however, Sally wanted me to pop by
the office
the next night to take care of some paperwork. The office was a few blocks from the loft in SoHo where I had been turned and had originally associated with our coven's goings on. What can I say, you die horribly in a place, and you get a little nostalgic for it; however, the loft was ultimately little more than a hangout. The coven had space in lots of buildings in the surrounding area, not to mention the nooks and crannies below street level. One such space was an entire floor of an office building close to NYU. During Jeff's reign as coven head, the space mostly went unused. A few vamps might have squatted in it during the day, and some used it as a larder for the occasional wayward college student they were able to lure to it, but that was it.

Under my leadership, that had all changed. Yeah yeah, it was mostly Sally, but I had to nod and agree to most of it...emphasis on
most
. Whatever kudos I had given her for the organizational improvements she put into place were completely wiped out by one of the slimier operations she had started for the coven. It creeped the utter shit out of me. Unfortunately, considering the alternatives, it was the lesser of evils...although it was still pretty fucking evil. I didn't even like to think about it.

I passed by that section as quickly as I could, trying really hard to make 'la la la I can't hear you' noises as I did. Sally had, of course, set herself up in a comfy corner office from which to supposedly oversee the coven's paperwork. Yeah, OK, whatever she liked to call it; however, even a blind man could see she enjoyed playing queen bee. I normally wouldn't have cared, but despite my status as coven master, I didn't seem to have an executive suite here with my nameplate on it; however, considering the business going on just a few yards away, maybe that wasn't a bad thing. I lost enough sleep over it as it was.

I approached Sally's office and saw a familiar face seated outside of it. “Hey, Starlight! What's up?” I said as I approached. “How the hell did Sally sucker you into playing secretary for her?”

She looked up, flashed me a nervous smile, then quickly averted her eyes. “It's no problem, Bill. I don't mind helping,” she answered with a little quiver to her voice.

Starlight's real name was Alice. She had been given the name Starlight by Jeff as part of the ridiculous pseudonym campaign that he enforced for all vampires in the coven. That rule was the first thing I had tossed out the window, but a lot of the coven had preferred to keep their 'code names' regardless. Starlight was one of them.

She was a stacked...well, Nubian goddess is probably the best term for it. She had been working on a career as a model before being turned. Despite the fact that she appeared younger than my twenty-five years, I knew she was almost twice my age. She also wasn't the sharpest tool in our shed; however, despite an outer veneer of vampire attitude, she seemed to be one of the few amongst us who genuinely cared about her coven-mates. As a result, she was also one of the few that I genuinely liked. Unfortunately, due to the outer guise I had to keep up, she was also completely scared shitless of me. I kind of felt bad about it, but not nearly bad enough to let it slip that a lot of my bravado was bullshit. The rest of the coven could smell weakness like a school of sharks. I had little doubt they’d turn on me if they suspected that I wasn’t nearly the badass I tried to pretend to be.

I also had little doubt that Sally had used Starlight's fear of me to manipulate her into her current situation; however, there wasn't much I could do to fix that right now. Or maybe there was...

“I have business with Sally,” I said with a sneer. “Go take a coffee break...a
long
one.” I gave her a glare with my fangs bared, and that was all she needed to vacate the premises. As I watched Starlight run off, I heard Sally's door creak open behind me, followed by her annoyed exhale. Thanks to her vampire hearing, she no doubt knew what had happened. Heh!

“You know, I should report you for harassing my employees,” she said in a dry voice from behind me.

“Take it up with the labor board,” I shot back as I turned towards her. “You can always hire a temp.”

“True enough,” she answered, showing me a smile full of fangs. “Besides, if they don't work out...well, the severance plan is a killer.”

* * *

We spent the next hour or so going over various coven related business. She had the final tally of casualties from the fight with the HBC. Eight of our vampires were dusted. All of them were assholes, so I'd be shedding minimal tears on their behalf. Sally wanted to start recruiting new members immediately, but I put the kibosh on that until I got back. Since there were rituals involved with indoctrinating new members that I, as coven head, had to oversee (
stupid college-like rituals...but rituals the same
), this was one area I was confident that she wouldn't immediately set about doing the opposite of what I said.