Scars and Songs (60 page)

“I’m completely yours, Shane, forever,” she whispered. 
Slowly, she slid my boxers down and we stood before each other bare and hungry. 
So fucking hungry
.

Leaning back, I ran my eyes over every inch of her body, worshipping each part of her.  Her soft skin, the curves of her hips, the swell of her breasts, the pink of her lips…

My eyes locked on hers, as I slid my hands around her waist, cupping her bottom and lifting her into my arms.  She wrapped her long legs around my waist and I slowly eased into her, burying myself deeply inside her,
finally
.  I groaned and pressed my forehead to hers.  “Ah, Grace,” I cried out and slid back with the most delicious slowness.  “I love you so much,” I growled.  I slid deeply into her again, hoping the pain wasn’t too bad, but with the way she bit down on her bottom lip and squeezed her eyes tight, I knew it did.

Pulling myself all the way out of her, I carried her to the bed, still wrapped around me.  We tumbled against her sheets and she pulled me deep inside her again, and we stilled, looking at each other.  Then she smiled and rocked her hips against mine.

“Fuck, Grace.  You feel so good,” I whimpered, thrusting into her.  I was lost to her; there was nothing but her.  The feel of her slick skin against mine, the sounds of her murmurs and the sensation of my cock plunging over and over deep inside her.  Our lips moved across each other’s skin, fingertips clawed, hands grasping at flesh tight, her hips matching my thrusts. It was so fucking intense that it was almost too overwhelming; too fucking good.  I never wanted it to end.  My body trembled and strained with the effort of not finishing.

Grace screamed my name and dug her nails into my back as she clenched around me so tightly I exploded, spilling myself deep inside here.  No woman ever
made me come so hard, no woman ever made me feel like that before.  I couldn’t fucking stop.  After the first time, I just kept ravaging her body, taking everything she would give me.  Grace gave me all and each time was more intense than the time before.

An hour before dawn, as I tried to consume her again, she laughed and shoved me away playfully.  “
Oh my God, Shane.  I can’t effing move; I think you broke me,” she laughed.

Exhausted and muscles
shaking, I wrapped her in my arms and covered us with her blankets.  She snuggled her body into me. Our bodies fit perfectly together, as if we were made for each other.  I pressed my lips against her shoulder and skimmed them over the back of her neck. I rested my face against her warm skin and smiled. Gently stroking her hair back, I whispered softly into her ear, “You’re mine forever now.”

Instantly,
she spun around to face me. “But…how in the world are you here with me?  You left, I watched you leave,” she asked.

I couldn’t tell her what I gave
up; I was too damn scared of her reaction. 
Yeah, now I’m just a pussy whipped chicken shit
.  Hell, I turned into Conner. 
I kind of liked it
.  I pecked tiny kisses across her face hoping she’d drop the subject.  “What’s the point on living in the past?  This is where I am right now.  Right here in front of you.” 

Immediately,
I could feel her heart rate speed up and the panic rising off her.  “Why won’t you tell me?  What did you do?  What happened?”  She lifted her head and leaned it on her elbow, waiting for my answers.  “Please tell me, Shane.  Please.  You had Michael do something. He asked you to make your decision.  What did you do?”  My stomach dropped when her beautiful pale skin turned into a greenish hue.

Son of a
…“I gave it all up,” I coughed out.  “I’m completely human.  Mortal.  Both of us are.”

Her eyes widened and she stopped breathing.  “What?  Why?” she exhaled.

“You were the best part of me, and when they took you away…” Tears stung at my eyes when I looked at her. 
God, if I wasn’t good enough for her now, if all she wanted was an angel, if being Shane wasn’t enough…
“Truth is, a soul of an angel is only capable of one pure true love, and you are mine.  It didn’t make a difference that you were human.  The kiss, the first time my lips were on yours...the hell...I wouldn’t take one moment of it back…”

She sucked in a harsh breath.

“When I saw you, and you looked so much like you did as Selah, I couldn’t think of anything but being with you again.  Don’t push me away now, Grace.  I can’t live without you. For the rest of my life, I want to spend every moment showing you how much I have loved you.  I learned long ago to savor every moment, not to waste a second of it.  I once found the other half of my soul and I’ve spent the last 2000 years in hell, and here, just wasting my time until I could be with her again.  Did you think that I wouldn’t give up everything I could, anything I could to be with you again?” 
Please let me be enough for you, please
.

Tears streamed down her cheeks in silent sobs.

“Don’t cry, babe. Every damn tear I have seen that fell from those silver eyes broke my heart.  This, right here with you is the closest that I’ll ever come to heaven. That’s all right by me, because you are my heaven, Grace.”  I wiped away her tears, “Unless you don’t want me like this,” I whispered.

She wiped at her tears, “I was going to leave tonight…Gabriel threatened me…”

“Shh…Grace.  Gabriel works on fear and lies.”

“Shane, I’ll take you anyway I can get you.  But Gabriel, he’s shown me so many things,” she whispered.  “I trusted him for so long.”

Shown her things?
  The only way an angel could show someone their thoughts and manipulate them is by
kissing…them. 
My body tensed, muscles hardening into a granite kind of tense.  I locked my jaw tight and spoke through clench teeth, “He showed you things?  You mean he…he touched you?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“He put his fucking lips on you?”

With wide frightened
eyes, she nodded slowly, “Yes.”

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

She let out a long deep breath, and then gave me an evil smile.  “Good.  May I help?”  That just turned me on again, so I pulled her over me and without warning, I thrust myself deep inside her.  The way she looked down at me and moaned made me almost come right then, but I held back and took my time as she rode me.  I pulled her face down to mine, making damn fucking sure I erased any lingering traces or thoughts of Gabriel from her mind.

Peeling my eyes open slowly, a heavy feeling agitated and churned in the pit of my stomach. 
Cautiously, I lifted my head from where it lay against the warm beautiful body besides me.  Grace was tucked tightly in my arms, our legs tangled together under mountains of blankets, her bare skin hot against mine.

The heavy feeling seemed to spill through my conscious into the room, pressing firmly down on my shoulders.  A slow slide of my hand from beneath her exquisitely smooth skin caused her body to shift and slide; a sweet purr escaped her lips as she slept.  I slowly traced my fingertips down her naked skin, wrestling against the troubling emotions that had
awakened me. 

Something thudded sharply against the door and I
narrowed my eyes in that direction and pushed myself off the bed.  The clock on her dresser said it was nine o’clock in the morning.  No one else should be in the house with us, because Conner and Lea would already both be at work.  That heavy feeling became thicker, more weighted against my chest, and sparks of adrenalin flamed all over my skin. 

Grabbing my jeans off the floor, I stepped into them quickly and pulled them up.  Yanking last night’s
tee shirt over my head, I tensed my hands and opened her bedroom door.

I could see Gabriel pacing back in forth in the living room as I stood in the hallway. As I stalked towards him, he stopped pacing and leveled his glare at me.  “It’s time for you to go now,
Shane
.”

I moved closer to him, my chest bumping his hard.  “There’s no way I am ever leaving her with you.  She’s mine,” I growled.

Gabriel laughed, took a small sidestep and turned his back to me.  Placing his hands on his hips, he chuckled again.  “I was thinking of making Grace some breakfast.  I know French toast is her favorite.” 
Delusional bi-fucking-polar-angel
.

My hands clenched as my entire body shook with rage.  Blood pounded in my ears and clouded my vision as I
lunged forward.  All I could visualize was beating him senseless.  It was foolish of me to forget he was an angel and I was just a man.

His hand was around my throat instantly, my feet raised up off the floor.  My hands clawed at my throat, desperate to alleviate the choking pressure of his fingertips.  His sharp steel feathers emerged from behind him. A raw energy hummed from his entire body and his
pupils blazed with the fires of Hell. 

The sound of my slowing heartbeat thrashed in my ears, and I could feel my human body shutting down from
the lack of oxygen.  My lungs burned and my chest convulsed against the emptiness.  “I’ll make sure to tell her you said goodbye. Maybe, I’ll even leave a few singles on her nightstand so she knows what she was worth to you last night,” he snarled.  My vision blurred and darkened, but not until I saw Gabriel extract one steel feather from over his shoulder and then I watched him plunge it into my chest.  A rippling fire tore through my skin and surged around my convulsing heart.  My veins trembled deep beneath my skin, desperate for the flow of blood that was ripped from them violently.  I never felt physical pain like that before,
ever
.  My world went black as the warmth of my human blood seeped through my shirt and spread itself down my chest. 

I’m going to come back and kill this motherfucker until he’s beyond dead
.

Even in the darkness of my mind, in the complete emptiness of my soul, a vengeance twisted; breathing itself into a frenzy and snaked through my core.  I could no longer feel my
body; I could only hear my slow raspy breaths and the gurgling blood that filled my throat and spilled from my lips. 

Falling in and out of consciousness, I could hear Grace’s screams from somewhere above me.  Her cries.  Desperate.  And calling for
me
.  My eyes burned with tears, my body burned with numbness; paralyzed and broken, once again, not able to save her.

I struggled to
breathe, stay aware, and fight against the oblivion trying to pull me under.  I had no idea where I was or how long I was there.

Muted daylight streamed in through a thin rectangular window at the base of the low ceiling. 
Basement
was the single thought in my mind as I choked and vomited up the metallic taste of blood.

Then a bright light shone down from the top of the stairs and Gabriel’s laughter echoed harshly along the
stone walls that surrounded me.  I could hear Grace’s fight and then the terror of the wet sounds of her body slamming against the concrete and the steps, landing heavily, crumpled on the floor in front of me. 

The tears poured out of me, blurring my vision of her.  I wanted to scream out for her, reach out and hold her in my arms, but all that came was the raspy spit of blood
from my lips.  My mind spun out of control, maddening, rage, pure fury; I could not get to her.  Terror.  Real, tangible, alive and raw.  I could do nothing but see her dying in front of my eyes and hear her breath within my ears.  I wanted to claw out of this skin.  I begged for release.  Let me go, let her live. 
God, take me…do what you will…but spare my Grace
.

Then
in the dim light of our prison, she opened her beautiful eyes.

I wished he had killed me.  The horror in those eyes when she saw me…the absence of my movements, there was nothing I could do to take the pain from her…the complete and utter despair was crushing.  Crushing and squeezing the life from me faster.

“NO!  SHANE!”  She threw herself over my mangled body and cradled my head in her bloody hands, pulling me up against her chest.  She gripped at my chest and my neck trying to find a pulse.  She was screaming my name over and over, begging me to get up, begging me to move, and begging me to live. All I could do was look at her through my tears and scream on the inside.

Gabriel’s
laughter broke through her screams.  He stood large and imposing behind her. 
And how did my beautiful Grace react to him?
  She fucking ignored him.  “Stay with me, Shane,” she pleaded repeatedly.  “Please don’t leave me.”  Tears poured from her silver eyes, landing against the skin of my face; yet I could not feel them and that pierced me deeper and hurt way beyond anything Gabriel could ever do to me.  The inability to feel her, not able to save her, not able to fight for her…the thoughts swam together and faded in and out of the darkness and the emptiness that was trying to consume me.

With a sudden whoosh of air, Gabriel swung his arms around her, yanking her
back violently, locking her in his arms.  His lips bent down to her ears, but his eyes were locked on mine.  “Grace, my love.  You
can
still save him,” He slid his tongue along the edge of her ear and she cringed against him.  “Come with me and I will let him live.” She squeezed her eyes shut and struggled against his arms and mouth.