Scars and Songs (4 page)

The rest of the songs blurred by, the audience radiated, echoed my energy; making me feel like I still had wings and could soar above them.

The music took over and I shoved all thoughts of her in my head away. I hid them deep, so I wouldn’t think about them for the rest of the night.  I would never be going home. I would never get my wings back, and I would certainly never see her again. That time was gone, over, done. There was no love or hope for me in this world. 

Just then, slapping me from my thoughts, an awesome brawl erupted in the middle of the dance floor.  From where we stood on stage, we saw the entire thing, fists flew; some great roundhouse kicks and an unbelievable back flip. Finally, something that made me
feel
again. My body grew raw and itched to feel the violence. 
God, did I miss the sweet violent madness of dishing out the wrath of God
. 

That’s when I noticed her
.

The stage lights glimmered on a whirl of long
, shiny, jet-black hair, bringing out its hidden midnight blue highlights. She balanced two drinks in her hands, which were made of the milkiest ivory skin I had ever seen. Her face peeked out from behind the veil of her dark hair and I would have given a limb to see the rest of her features, that’s how much her essence intrigued me. The waves of rage that had come over me from watching the fight turned into a slow burning carnal hunger.  My heart thundered in my chest erratically.

One of the brawlers hit his elbow right into some little blonde wispy chick that bounced right off the raven-haired girl. Her drinks splashed up and spilled down the front of her white tee shirt. She threw down the empty cups and yelled a string of profanities. 

Without thinking, I jumped down in front of her. Her head lifted to reveal flawless ivory skin, her jet black hair cascading around a face that would haunt me forever. Her eyes shot up to meet mine and I had trouble breathing. They were the most unnerving color of light grey, more silver than anything, framed by thick, long, black lashes. No one should have eyes that color, with a touch of lavender that swam deep in their depths. I could bury myself in them and never resurface again. 
My God, she looked just like Selah
.

“
Wow
,” I breathed. It was the only freaking coherent thought that I had in my brain at that moment.  My breaths were deep and uneven. 
Damn
, I wanted
her
.

She rolled her beautiful eyes and backed away a step when she got slammed from behind and vaulted into my arms. The sheer electric shock of touching her made me realize
what it must feel like to be struck by lightning. She pushed off me as if I was the plague. 

The poor girl stepped right into the path of the fight and I had to grab her away from them before she was trampled.

She looked behind her towards the fists and feet flying through the air, but didn’t seem the least bit scared or even affected by it. She just looked back into my eyes and covered her wet shirt with her arms. A rush of the most exquisite color of crimson flushed her cheeks. I wanted to reach my hand out and touch them; feel how soft they were; how warm her skin would be under mine. I wanted to taste her; sink myself deep inside that milky white flesh. 
Holy crap, I must be losing my mind
.

Maybe it wasn’t my mind.  Maybe it was just me being stuck in this messed up body.  Or, maybe it was those beautiful
, plump, pink lips or the soft curve of her chin against the darkness of her hair.

Ethan grabbed me by the shoulders and brought me back down to earth. “Come on, Shane!” He called, pulling me towards the fight.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from hers. “Yeah, one sec, bro,” I called to him. She was mortified, standing there wrapping her arms around herself. I
had
to help her. I took off my shirt and pushed it into her hands. For the first time, standing in front of her, I noticed, and I mean
really
noticed, how very wet her shirt was. My eyes slowly traveled down the milky white skin of her neck to the tight wet material of her shirt.  It was completely see through, and
holy shit
, did she have on the hottest red bra that made the curves of her breasts look, well, let me put it this way; whoever I
was
taking home that night wouldn’t be who I was thinking of; she’d be the one on my mind.

Shit
, I could see myself taking her from the back and her beautiful face slamming into my mattress, her hair wildly covering the sheets.  I gave her a wink before I joined in to break up the fight.  I wondered how hard it would be to get her to come home with me.  Probably not too hard, I was Shane Maxton after all. I had a liquid effect on
all
women’s panties. 
But she was too hot to just take in the back room
.  Yeah, I wanted to spend some time on her.  Some time
in her
.

Through the whole fight, I couldn’t shake those eyes from my thoughts. Getting an uppercut to my jaw rattled my head a bit, but even that didn’t divert my mind from her.  I tried to look back in the direction she walked in, but all I could see were fists flying at me. Then the damn fight stopped. Marty, the bouncer
at the front door, knocked the two opposing guy’s heads together and that was it. It was kind of comical in a way, how they just crumpled to the floor after they bounced off each other.

Ethan gave me a high five, but I couldn’t have cared any less about the fight. I needed to find where the girl with the silver eyes went. “Bro, did you see where that girl went?”  I craned my head around, looking all over for her.

Ethan smiled wide and nodded. “The insanely hot one you were talking to when I pulled you into the fight?”
Yeah, he certainly noticed her too
. “Nah, I didn’t see which way she went.”

I patted him on the back. “I gotta find her. Come on, walk around the bar with me, and help me look for her.”

He laughed loudly. “Why, you want your shirt back? She’d definitely win any wet tee shirt contest, that’s for sure.”

“No, dude, did you see her eyes? Holy crap,” I said.

Ethan stopped walking and gawked at me as if I just kicked a puppy. “Her eyes?
Really, Shane?
Did you get knocked in the head hard or something? Shane Maxton noticing a girl’s eyes?”

I shrugged and couldn’t get rid of the stupid grin I knew I was wearing on my face. I must have looked like a complete ass. I knew he never saw me smile like that before. “Dude, you didn’t see those eyes. Please, help me find her!” I laughed.

We ran through the bar like two horny fourteen year olds. I turned around every dark haired girl I saw (a few guys too) to look into their faces, but I
couldn’t
find her. I even tried to beg one of the waitresses to go in the back to the bathrooms to see if a silver-eyed girl was in there, but she just laughed at me.
Janie
. She was probably still pissed at me about not calling her back. I told her I wouldn’t. I even told her not to give me her number. I told her I wasn’t one for more than a one night thing.
Every girl thought they could change my mind. It cracked me up, really
.

I swear, I think we looked for at least thirty minutes. I even ran outside and down the block. I was a man obsessed.

Alex was the one that got me to stop looking for her. He smacked me in the back of the head and introduced me to some blonde girl with a huge rack. Alex was hooking up with what had to be the girl’s sister, because they looked almost like twins.

She started talking to me about how great I played and how hot I was on stage.
Blah, blah, blah, what-the-hell-ever
.  Her voice was irritating and I was quickly getting pissed off that I couldn’t spend the rest of the night looking for the silver-eyed girl.  She just went on and on trying to have this serious conversation with me, and all I could think about were all the sexual positions I wanted to bend the silver-eyed girl in.

I told Alex I was going home. The blonde chick begged me to stay, said it would be worth my while. I highly doubted it; there wasn’t anything she could do that some other girl couldn’t.
They all felt the same on the inside
.

That’s when I saw her.

Waves of black silky hair crashed down around the most perfect face I’d ever seen. My stomach tied itself in knots.  Dressed in my huge tee shirt, she sat next to my friend Lea. My best friend Conner sat behind Lea, his hands wrapped around his girl’s waist, practically holding her up. Tucker sat on the other side of the silver-eyed beauty, ogling her as if she was the last girl on earth. I couldn’t blame him, she put every other girl in the bar to shame; everyone looked plain compared to her. Coughing and sputtering into my hands I had raised to cover my face, I had trouble swallowing the huge freaking lump in my throat.

Clearing my throat, I pulled up a chair and placed it right between her and Lea. “Hey, how’d you like the brawl?” I asked everyone. I only looked at her though.

Unfortunately, the blonde chick was still following me as if she was my lost little puppy. I ignored her. The only thing I saw were those silver eyes, the waves of her dark hair and that perfect creamy skin that I needed to sweep with my tongue.

I was freaking myself out. I never got crazy like this over anyone. I couldn
ʼt even tell you the last time I actually looked into a girl’s eyes and noticed their color.  I wasn’t one for looking in anybody’s eyes.

Some people say you could see right into a person’s soul through their eyes. Being
stuck here in this world, surrounded by humans and their ignorant blind emotional flesh was one thing. Looking into their souls and seeing the depth of faith and hope was another thing. A thing I
couldn’t
do. The eyes before me were demanding and strong, and I was drowning in them. I couldn’t look away. 
Shit.

Sitting down, I continued to stare right at her. I must have looked like a starving man, because that’s how I felt.  My palms started sweating.  Damn,
that
never happened before either.

Then, of everything that could possibly freaking happen, the blonde Barbie doll who was following me
, plopped her ass right on my lap and started sucking on my neck and biting my ear.
Like a fucking blood sucking vampire
.  My first impulse was to stand up and dump the bitch on the floor, but I didn’t want everyone to think I was
that
much of a douche.

The whole time, the gorgeous girl that I’d been looking all over the bar for was just looking at me with an unaffected look on her face.
This was insane. Yeah, she was hot, beyond hot. Okay, hotter than the hottest freaking girl I'd ever seen. Shit - I had to stop. The real Shane would never be doing this.

She was just a piece of ass, just like all the others. She’d be easy to score. So why the hell were my palms sweating, and my heart thudding in my chest? Because I wasn
ʼt really Shane, and she looked so damn much like Selah.

I groaned inwardly, trying to think of some way to get this other girl off me, so I could talk to silver eyes. Before I could say anything, Lea drunkenly belted out, “Ugh, Shane, get a kennel for your lapdog, the sounds of her slopping your ear is making me wanna hurl again!”
Ha, I loved Lea when she was drunk, she was hysterical!

That did the trick and the blonde chick stopped molesting me. “Jealous much?” Blondie said back to Lea. 
Eh, she had balls
.

I watched those silver eyes roll and her lips turned up into a smile that made sweat break out on my forehead.
What the fuck? I must have been losing it.

Lea continued to mouth off at the blonde, which didn’t bother me a bit; it made her keep her mouth off me. “Yeah, I’m always jealous of Shane’s conquests. They are the equivalent of a blow up doll. With the brains to match.”
Ha, that was a good one, Lea
.  Although, I wouldn’t call any of these girls
conquests
, it wasn’t a conquest if they were giving themselves freely. I hadn’t won
anything
.  They weren’t a
prize
, they were just a distraction.

True to form, the blonde came back with, “What the hell does that mean?” Silver eyes seemed to be enjoying the bantering. Her smile widened and she laughed along with Lea. It sounded like music.
Yeah, I was fucking losing it
. 
I had to stay away from her.  She would bring a man to his knees. 

“See, you just proved my point.” Lea slurred and looked at the silver-eyed girl and smiled. “Maybe if we use big words, it will leave?”

I was just about to get up and leave. I just wanted to walk away and never lay my eyes on her again. One night would never be enough for me with a girl who looked like that. I’d been to hell
and back
, and
she
scared me more.

When I leaned forward to get up, that’s when I saw it. The mischievous way those eyes sparkled and the devil may care smile that lit up her face.
I couldn’t fucking move
.