Scars and Songs (15 page)

Alex walked away and stood beside me. The rest of us just glared at Tucker, probably all agreeing with what Alex had just said.

“How much did you pay her to go out with you?” Ethan muttered.

“Shut up, dick,” Tucker replied.  He looked at me deadpan, “Shit, man.  Her fucking lips were amazing.”

Her LIPS were amazing?  He KISSED her?  I can’t breathe.

I glowered at him. “I
ʼm done practicing. Iʼm out of here.” I walked to the door and looked back at Tucker who was fumbling with Alexʼs guitar. “Oh, and Tuck, if you hurt her in any way, I swear I will fucking kill you.” I slammed the door behind me.

I stayed away from everyone for the rest of the night. I seriously thought that if I saw Tucker or heard anything else about him touching Grace’s lips, I might actually kill him. I continued the routine Tuesday too. I spent the day at the Metropolitan Museum of Art staring at the painting
The Angel Gabriel Appearing to Zacharias
by William Blake, wishing Gabriel would come to me. 
What the hell was I supposed to do?
  She chose the ass-rag instead of me. 
What the hell could she see in him besides his money?   Fuck, I could play the money card too, if I needed.  Fuck, what difference did it make?  I needed to get her out of my mind and someone else in there
.  I had to keep reminding myself that the only reason I was so obsessed with her was because she looked so much like Selah. 
But she wasn’t Selah
.  The dead don’t come back.

Ethan
sent me a text Tuesday night when I didnʼt come home. Another wonderful attribute of living in Manhattan; you can stay up all night and always have a place to be.

Ethan: You okay?

Shane: Wonderful

Ethan: Where the hell r u?

Shane: In Hell

Ethan: ????

Shane: I’m fine.  Just need 2 clear my head.

Ethan: Does this have to do with Tuck and Grace?  Or are you with a girl?

Shane: Just got to be alone for a while.

Ethan: You’re not using again, right?

Shane: NO!  I promise you I am not using ANYTHING

Ethan: You really like her

Shane: Yeah

I visited Saint Patrick
ʼs Cathedral and called on my long ago brothers, but none of the archangels came. Knelt down in a pew, still no one came. I sat down on a bench in Central Park and prayed, none of the archangels came. I went inside each church or temple I could find; still no one came. I hopped from club to club; bar to bar, getting drunker and drunker, nobody showed up then either. I toyed with the idea of jumping in front of a train, you know, just to see if someone came then.  I didn’t have the guts.

Stumbling into my apartment at four o
ʼclock Wednesday morning, I passed out on my bed.  I dreamt about her.

Ethan knocked on my door at four o
ʼclock Wednesday afternoon. “Shane, can I come in?”

I growled at him.  “Leave me the hell alone.”

I felt the bed move when he kicked it. “Damn, Shane! You smell like an open whiskey bottle! Take a shower. Where the fuck have you been?”

“In every piece of holy ground this island has, looking for God,” I mumbled from under the covers.

He laughed, thinking I was joking. “Did you find him?”

“No, I think he quit his day job. Why are you bothering me?”

Ethan sighed. “Just worried about you, bro. Cʼmon, get up, shower and letʼs go out.” He kicked the bed again before he left.

I was showered and dressed twenty minutes later, coffee in hand. Grace was a small thought pushed safely in the back of my mind.  Ethan and I grabbed something to eat and met up with Conner, Lea and Brayden at Boozer
ʼs a little after six oʼclock. The absence of Tucker and Grace made me think of every reason in the world why I should be someplace else. What if they ended up coming back here, so he could parade her around like his trophy? The thought of how she might look in the afterglow of having sex with that fuckard made my skin crawl.  I needed to wet my dick in someone else and forget about her. 
Fucking Tucker
.  And it didn’t help that every time I looked at Lea, she offered me these knowing eyes full of pity.

Conner
ʼs phone rang at seven. Even over the people around the table talking, I could hear Alex yelling on the other end of the phone.  Conner motioned for everyone to be quiet as he stood up to continue the conversation.  A serious expression crossed his face that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  He paced back and forth, eyes wide. “What? Okay, okay. Where are you? No. I donʼt have a clue where he is. Yeah, yeah Iʼll find him. Hang tight.”

Lea looked curiously at him, “Who was that?”

“Holy shit! We gotta get Tucker. Alex is in Manhattan Central Booking, he was arrested!” 

You have to be kidding me
.

Of course, Tucker
ʼs phone was off. 
Probably didn’t want to be bothered while he was plowing Grace
.  Spikes of heat ran across my face and I clenched my fists tight.

We grabbed a cab and raced down to where Alex was, and sure enough, he was pathetically sitting behinds bars in a cell, surrounded by other people in the same dumbass
predicament.

Alex laughed when he saw us. The officers were kind and let him lean his head on the bars and talk to me, while Conner continued trying to reach Tucker.

I smiled at him, “What the hell did you do now?”

“I went to see that chick Cara again tonight. That asshole beat the crap out of her for bringing me home the other night. So I made sure he knew he couldn
ʼt mess with her anymore.  Shane, I couldn’t let him get away with hitting her, it just wasn’t right.  I just kicked some of his windows in.  I couldn’t do much, I don’t have working arms,” he smiled proudly. “Just get Tucker, heʼll get me out of this mess.”

I nodded and walked to where the rest of my friends were standing.

“Brayden, Ethan, you guys stay here with Alex until we find Tucker, or his father.” I looked at Lea, “Give me your cell phone. Iʼm calling Grace.”

“Don
ʼt you have a cell phone?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, well...since she
ʼs on a
hot date
with Tucker and heʼs not answering his phone. Iʼm thinking that maybe she wouldnʼt be answering any calls from anyone but Lea.”

Once outside, Lea and I called Grace. Her phone rang once and she answered.

“Hellllooo,” she sang into the phone.
Uh oh, she sounds like sheʼs been drinking
.

“Grace?” I asked as calmly as I could while rage surged through my veins at her.

“Shane?” She whispered.

“Where
ʼs Tucker? Heʼs not answering his phone? Where are you?” I demanded.  Lea yanked her phone out of my hands and she immediately started yelling at Grace. I grabbed the phone back and I could clearly hear the conversation on the other side of the phone between Tucker and Grace.

“What is wrong with you, Tucker? Give me my phone back!” she screamed.

“You are embarrassing me!” he snapped.

“Give me my phone or I
ʼll give you something to really be embarrassed about,”
she threatened. 

“Hello,” Grace
ʼs voice calmly echoed in the phone.

“Grace, are you okay?” I asked.  If I heard Tucker say one disrespectful thing to her, I was going to scare the shit out of him with my hands.

“Whatʼs going on, Shane?” Her voice was soft, no anger in it at all.  Shit, my insides turned because she was with another guy.

“We need Tucker. Alex needs a lawyer. He
ʼs in Manhattan Central Booking,” I answered.

“Oh no, what happened? Oh, forget it, you can tell me later. But, I don
ʼt think itʼs a good idea that Tucker drives, and you might need to call his father if you want a lawyer who isnʼt drunk,” she said.

“You have got to be kidding me. Where are you? I
ʼll come and get you,” I whispered into the phone.

“We
ʼre eating sushi,” she sighed.

“Ew,” I groaned.

“Tell me about it,” she laughed.

“So where would you be eating this sushi, exactly?” I asked.

“Just meet us at The Time Warner Center in Columbus Circle.”

I clicked the phone off.  I wanted to get her away from Tucker as quickly as I could; Tucker was a real jackass when he was drunk.  I looked over to Conner. “Let
ʼs get a cab back to Leaʼs.  Iʼll take Graceʼs Jeep and go get them. Grace says Tuckerʼs drunk and shouldnʼt drive. Conner, call his dad, because Tucker is going to need help if heʼs as drunk as I think he sounded.”

We jumped in a taxi and drove back to Lea
ʼs apartment, all talking over each other and at the same time. When we got to Leaʼs, we ran into the house and we rummaged through Graceʼs room for the keys to her Jeep.  The rumpled unmade sheets covering her bed made me insane with jealousy at the thought of any other man that was ever in there with her. 
Right now, I just needed to get her away from Tucker
.

“Hey, do you think Grace will be pissed at me for driving her Jeep?” I asked Lea.

“Shane, I think sheʼll be happy that someone is making sure she got home safely,” she said.  Tilting her head and walking over to me, she touched my shoulder, “Hey, Shane.  Someone like Tucker really isn’t her type.  She’s got a lot of…issues with guys, and she doesn’t really date anybody unless I talk her into it.  She’s been…hurt before. I can see the way her going out with Tucker is affecting you…I’m surprised really.”

“Doesn’t matter.  Grace would never go for someone like me, right?”  I moved away from her and she held onto my shoulders tighter looking me straight in the eyes.

“Shane.  You want someone like Grace interested in you?  Use your words and your actions. Most guys don’t know this, but a woman’s G-spot is in her eyes and ears.  If you look in her pants, you’re never going to find it.”

“You’re pretty awesome, Lea.”

She moved away from me and continued the search for the keys, “Oh, but Shane, if you make my best friend cry, I will tie your pretty little rock star ass up naked and let the homeless men in Central Park have their way with you.”

Finding the keys, after a
fifteen-minute search, I ran down the street to where the Jeep was parked and opened the door. The sweet wildflower fragrance of her shampoo made my stomach do weird shit. Either I had to go to the bathroom, or I was a grown man with butterflies in my stomach.  Let me spell it out, W.U.S.S.

I started the Jeep, pulled out and turned down Lexington Avenue. I squealed a right turn onto West 57th Street and barreled down until I reached 8th Avenue. I headed toward Columbus circle, rounded the corner and saw Tucker and Grace standing far apart from each other on the sidewalk. I took that as a good sign.

I pulled the car up onto the curb and slammed in into park. Grace was shivering on the sidewalk, while Tucker was yapping into his cell phone. The one that had been so conveniently shut off the whole entire time we were trying to call him.

I pushed open the door, pulled back the backseat and literally threw his dumbass into the back. He didn
ʼt even stop talking on his phone. I slammed the front seat in his face. “Dude!” he yelled at me.

I held my hand out for Grace and she took it. I gently helped her into the Jeep and closed the door for her. I drove back across town and down the East side toward Centre Street. Grace
ʼs eyes were on me as I drove. I only flicked a glance at her once and I found no anger in them.  I would have given my right arm to know what she was thinking when she looked at me that way, though.

“What happened?” she whispered, while Tucker made drunken lawyer-ish phone calls from behind me.

“Alex was out with that chick whose boyfriend jumped him. The boyfriend had roughed her up after the incident with Alex, and well, I think Alex went to the guyʼs house and I guess stood up to him. He kicked through some windows or something.”

She leaned her head against the window and sighed.

I pulled up to Manhattan Central Booking and Tuckerʼs father was already standing out front waiting for him, hands across his chest, looking every bit like the pissed off high and mighty ambulance chaser he was.

I opened my side of the car door to let Tucker get out. When I got back in and closed the door, Tucker gestured for me to open the window to talk. He leaned his dumbass head in and talked across me to Grace, “Grace, I
ʼm sorry. I know that this was one of the best nights of your life. Iʼll take you back to Masa whenever youʼd like.”

Fury flickered across her eyes. “Oh, we
ʼll have to talk about that, Tucker,” she bristled.  I couldn’t help but smile.

Tucker didn
ʼt hear her; he just gave her a wide drunk grin, “I know, it was amazing. Grace, youʼre amazing.” He looked at me, saw how close his face was to mine and flinched back. When he got to a better distance, he nodded, “Thanks for taking her home for me, youʼre a good friend.” He pounded his palm on the door, and screamed, “Get her home safe, this big boy has gotta play superman!”