Scarred Hearts (Blackrock)
Scarred Hearts
Blackrock series book 1
By Elizabeth Kelly
Copyright © 2013 Elizabeth Kelly
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead is coincidental.
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This book is not suitable for persons under the age of 17
Due to sexual content, language and violence.
Table of Contents
"Knock
knock Bailey its time to go" my mother says as she pops her head inside my bedroom door, I don't turn around and she walks away muttering under her breath. I'm sitting on my window seat looking out into the street, its quiet as usual the sun is shining and the whole neighborhood looks like something out of a magazine. Every house has a manicured lawn and expensive cars dotting driveways here and there, ours is just the same.
The world looks beautiful but inside I'm turning black, I can feel it slowly spreading through out my body like a mist enveloping me pulling me down into the abyss, feelings so powerful I feel like I'm drowning within in my own body. I don't want to leave but I better get going this day is already one I want to be over. No one understands what its like for me, they think they know how I feel but they don't. I can hear my mother and her friends talking so I sit on the stairs and listen for a while, "you should send her to Dr Norris he is one of the best Therapists I know" says Becky, "yes sounds like a good idea" says mom "but she needs a bit more time, maybe I will wait until school is out in two weeks and send her then, maybe she will get over it by the time summer ends".
I am so sick of their "advice" I stomp down the stairs and shove open the door to the lounge "Are you ready?" I say pointedly to my mom "I need to go now if I want to be there on time". "Oh yes sweetheart" she says with her plastic smile. Ever since her and my dad split up two years ago she has adopted a new plastic smile when her friends are over. She must be on pills or something because she is weirder than usual, maybe I should find her stash and take a few, they might make today go by in a better tone, but I doubt it.
Sitting in the car allows the blackness to return, my mom is driving as slow as possible I think she is trying to avoid the inevitable. We pass by Cafe rouge Downtown the memories hit me like a slap in the face, memories of just a few days ago when life was sunshine and roses. I can see Meg the waitress making coffee and Bill the owner waving to customers who are leaving. They are all living their lives smiling, happy, carrying on. I wish it was me, but it's not I don't want to be here anymore it's to hard I just want my life to go back to the way it was. I am hurting so much I want to scream and punch and kick at anything, anyone I don't care I just need this blackness out.
"Bailey, Have you heard anything I have been saying?" asked my mom. "Huh" I say "No I haven't, why what did you say" not that I'm interested in what she has to say at the minute "We are here". "Oh" I look around the parking lot it looks the same but different, I can see far too many cars and people walking towards the building. The school has provided the use of the gym for today's service. I get out of the car with a heavy heart I can see people walking towards the South entrance where they have large wreaths along the pathway.
I make my way over, my palms are sweating my head is pounding and my eyes I am sure are swollen from the non stop crying, they feel like sand has a permanent home inside my eyelids. "I don't think I can do this" I say to mom, I look over to her with pleading in my eyes I feel so pathetic turning to her for comfort "Bailey" she says "Come on" and puts a small fragile arm around my shoulders, although fragile she has the strength of an Ox, she steers me toward the doorway and marches me through.
I can hear the whispers as soon as I step inside the gym, "Oh my god she came" "I thought she was a mental hospital" some of them were snickering, some wore pity in their eyes, I couldn't look anymore so I put my head down and put one foot in front of the other. Who knew how much my legs would protest. I carried on, praying I would somehow become invisible but instead I hit a six-foot solid wall of muscle, also known as Brad. Looking up at him and decided anger was the best policy, "What the hell" I said through my teeth "get out of my way" I tried to step around him but he matched my move, "I just wanted to see if you were all right," he said. "What the fuck do you care?" I questioned, my bitterness and anger boiling over, "hey babe calm down I am worried about you, I haven't seen you since, well you know that night," he said drifting off.
"Yeah I know the last time I saw you, I remember you couldn't get away fast enough" I spat "and don't call me babe we are over" "C'mon don't be like that, Look I'll talk to you later I have to go sit down they are about to start" he said, "Whatever" I answered and pushed passed him. I made my way over to the front of the gym and found Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, they both stood up and hugged me hard, we all started crying and shared our feelings without words.
"We are so glad you came," said Mrs. Anderson while smoothing my hair away form my face, "Summer would have liked you to be here". "I know" I say, "I miss her so much, sometimes I think I'm dreaming that this is not real and she will stroll into my room with a latte". I smiled at Mrs. Anderson and took my seat on her left my mom sat behind me and patted my arm, I wish my mom was more like Cindy Anderson, she was full of love and gave hugs out like Halloween candy, she always had a kind heart and loved Summer truly loved her like the way a mother is supposed to.
The priest stepped up to the microphone and began his sermon, "W
e are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Summer Anderson, beloved daughter and best friend. Summer who left us far to early has joined the heavenly father who has enveloped her in his light. Summer was a bright student here at Grove High school....."
As the sermon went on teachers spoke about how nice Summer was and how she would have made a great Vet someday. One of our fellow students, Roger stepped up to speak, " Hi I'm Roger, I know many of you don't know me or may have seen me around but Summer was one of the few people who took the time to get to know me. I remember when I first moved to Grove High she saw me in the hallway and offered to show me the way around. I couldn't believe it I remember thinking wow who is this girl? She was beautiful and she is offering me help. She told me that the best place in this school was a secret and I could follow her if I wanted to find out where it was, I was so stunned I just plodded behind her like a puppy. She took me outside to the back of the library to a large oak tree. This, she said as she spread her arms wide, is the best place in the school and this, she pointed to a blond haired girl, is the best friend in the whole school but she's mine so get your own and began laughing. I turned around and then looked back at her and her friend and said, technically this is not in the school. Summer smiled at me and turned to her friend Bailey, see Bails I knew he would be the right guy to join our club. "Sure", Bailey said, "I think I see what you are saying although; maybe we could give him a make over just to be sure". I stood there under a very large oak tree with a very large smile on my face looking at the two girls who would eventually become my sisters. I miss you everyday Summer you will be forever in my heart and forever on my mind".
Roger stepped down off the stage and kissed the coffin on his way down, he turned and winked at me and we both smiled even though tears began to fall. I remember that day like it was yesterday, Summer decided that morning we would "acquire" the new student to join our club. She knew that a new student was starting because she worked in the front office for extra credit. I got the low down on Roger Burke for an entire two days before he even stepped foot through the door. Summer decided we needed a guy to hang with us to offset the estrogen fest that was us.
Poor Roger was doomed from the start but as it turned out he did become one of our best friends.
I stepped up to the podium and the whole room broke out in whispers again, I did my best to ignore them and carry on for my friend's sake. "Hi my name is Bailey I said, I just wanted to say a few words to my best friend. Summer I miss you so much its like a red hot knife through my heart, I wish you would have come to me and told me what was going on with you". Tears began to fall once again, "I wanted to tell you, you are the best friend a girl could ever have, I remember when you told me you wanted to be a Vet because you loved animals so much, you always helped a stray dog or cat or gave food to birds at the cafe".
"I remember one time on our way back form a college information day, we were in your new car and we both were talking about the different colleges we had just seen and which one's we could go to that had programs for both of us. We were so into our conversation one minute and the next we felt a bump, Summer screamed and slammed on the brakes. We both jumped out of the car to see what she had run over. There in the middle of the road was a skunk and two of her babies at the side of the road. Summer couldn't believe that she ran over the mom skunk and instantly felt bad for the babies needless to say she wanted to rescue them.
I began to laugh at her telling her it was ok to leave them alone they would be frightened of us but no, Summer took off her jacket and threw it over the baby skunks and lifted them up. They did not like this and sprayed at her through the jacket. She began to cough and put them in the trunk, she climbed back into the car stinking so bad our eyes were watering and drove the babies to an animal rescue center. That's the type of person my friend is" I said. As I looked up I saw her parents smiling at me and I continued to tell my best friend how she would always have a place in my heart and how much I loved her, she was my sister through and through. "It is hard to believe you won't walk into my bedroom at anytime and I will have no one to guide me in the mall but I will always love you and miss you".
As I left the podium I heard the sounds of muffled sobs from every direction of the room although, Summer and I were best friends she was loved by so many of our fellow students. As her favorite song, Rolling in the Deep by Adele began to play we walked behind her casket to the waiting cars, this is the last moment I will ever be beside my best friend.
I knew it would be hard but this is the worst emotional pain I have ever felt, Roger met up with me at my mom's car, "Hey you" he said "How are you doing? I tried calling a few times but your mom said to leave you alone" I looked up into his sad eyes and threw my arms around his neck, "I miss her so much, Roger" the wave of sorrow I felt for my friend took my legs out form under me, Roger hugged be back and kept me from falling to the ground. "Come on you can ride with me to the cemetery" and turned me towards his car. We walked slowly with our arms around each other for support just as I reached for the door handle another hand came over mine.
I froze and waited for the anger to return before I looked around, "Brad what do you want?" he coughed "I was hoping I could drive you to the cemetery, your mom said it would be good for you" my patience was running thin today and I was in no mood for him or my mother. "You know its ok I am going with Roger so thanks anyway". I pushed him out of my way and got into the car, Roger was waiting for me and turned the car without a word. He drove to the cemetery in silence, we used to talk so much the three of us but now I can't think of anything to say.
