Scarred Beautiful (33 page)

It’s during this one moment, in the stillness, in this intimate bubble we’ve created, that I realize I’ve fallen for Matt. I don’t know what it means from here on out or where we’re going, but one look in his intense blue eyes tells me that wherever we’re going, we’re going together.

“Fran,” he finally groans, thrusting into me at a languid pace, my body climbing higher and higher toward ecstasy, “I’m gonna come.”

He plunges into me a few more times before his lashes drop against his cheeks and his head falls against my breast. He doesn’t stop though, continuing to drive me toward my own release, wanting me to feel the same pleasure, and a minute later, I do.

“Matt,” I breathe out, wrapping my legs around him and clinging to him, never wanting to let go.

With a subtle lift of his head, he scatters kisses across my skin, brushing his lips over my cheeks, my chin, my lashes, and my temple, a contented smile turning up my lips. He pulls out of me, but only to remove and tie the condom, tossing it on the carpet before settling between my legs again. “You tired, baby? We didn’t get a whole lot of sleep.”

I shake my head and grin. “It was worth every second of it.”

“We could just stay in bed all day and have room service deliver all of our meals,” he says, rolling his hips against mine.

I thread my fingers through his hair and bring him in for a kiss. “It’s a tempting offer, Dixon, but I believe you promised to show me Long Beach.”

“Did I? I can’t seem to remember that, I’m experiencing a sudden onset of temporary amnesia.”

His tongue slides down the bend of my neck, the warmth of his lips sending me into a tailspin of pleasure and I squirm beneath him, desire once again exploding between my legs.

“Matt.” I barely manage to speak his name while he continues his descent, reaching my breast, flicking my nipple, sucking hard on the tip.

“Oh no you don’t!” I place my palms flat against his chest and gather some strength to resist his advances, pushing him off of me while he groans in protest. “We’ve got a date and I want to get ready. But I promise I’ll make it up to you later.”

His head falls back against the pillow and he lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“I’m going to take a shower. Do you want to join me?” I ask, folding the sheet around me before getting up from the bed.

“Actually,” he replies, “I’ll go up to my room and take one there since I need to get some fresh clothes. I’ll come down and pick you up when I’m done.”

“Oh.” I manage a smile and try not to act too disappointed, but I’m definitely not winning any awards for my performance. Matt senses it and scoots off the bed, engulfing me in his arms.

“It felt really good being with you like that,” he says, laying a gentle kiss on my forehead and I nod in response. Tears sting my eyes but I fight them off. I’m not even sure why I’m about to cry. Maybe because the sand is running thin.

He gives me a quick kiss before he lets me go. The door closes behind him and I shiver, feeling a sudden chill that I can’t shake, so I head for the shower to warm myself up.

I’ve barely made it out of the shower and bundled myself in a towel when there’s a knock on the door. I wrap a smaller towel around my head and venture over to see who it is. I’m happy to see Peyton’s smiling face when I look through the peephole.

“Hey,” she says brightly when I hold the door open, “long time, no see.”

“I’ve been a little busy,” I tease, sashaying my way back into the bathroom to dry my hair.

She follows behind me and takes a seat on the toilet, a knowing grin painted on her face. “Busy doing what? And with
whom
?” she asks, tapping a thoughtful finger against her mouth, her chestnut brow rising in the air.

I sigh and sag back against the counter, my lips relaxing into a dreamy smile. “Matt, of course. We were together last night and it was amazing.” I spin around and turn the blow dryer on, essentially muffling Peyton’s next words.

“That’s it!” she shouts over the noise. “I need more than that!”

With a quick flip of the switch, I shut the dryer off and lean back, bracing my hands against the sink. “I’m not going into the size of his cock or how skilled he was…I don’t kiss and tell anymore.”

“Since when?” she asks, bewildered.

“Since now.”

“Well, that stinks. But, lucky for you I’m
more
than willing to discuss cock size.” She laughs and her hair falls forward into a cloak surrounding her face.

I giggle and throw my hairbrush at her, and she ducks out of its path. “What’s going on with you and Caleb?”

“Well…he said he’s hoping we can keep in touch when I go back to New York, but well, long distance relationships are hard, so I’m not gonna count on it. He’s a great guy, though,” she replies, trying to sound nonchalant, but I think she’s trying a bit too hard.

“Oh! Matt and I went over to see Caleb’s parents last night. The two of them are hilarious! So down to earth and sweet. Just like Caleb.” I run a comb through my hair and turn the blow dryer back on low.

“What were you doing over there?” She comes over to the counter, picks up a file and begins shaping her nails.

“Mrs. Brody needed help moving some bookcases and I guess Caleb was at his brother’s house,” I reply, shutting off the dryer and setting it down. “By the way, any word from your mom?”

“Unfortunately, yes. She rang yesterday to find out when I was coming home. She said we need to have a talk, which is laughable considering I’m twenty-seven years old and she treats me like I’m sixteen.” She rolls her eyes and slaps the file against her hand. “Thank goodness for my dad. At least he keeps her in check for the most part. Anyway, I told her that I wouldn’t be home until Wednesday since I have the extra time off.” She digs through my makeup and pulls out the lip gloss, applying a thin glaze then smacking her lips together. “Did you have a nice visit with your mom?”

I rummage through the bag and find the mascara, layering a light coat on my lashes. “It was great. We had lunch and I took her to get a makeover. We talked a lot though and I felt like I helped her to make amends for some things with my dad. Come on, I’ve got to get dressed. Matt’s taking me to Long Beach today.”

She snags a seat on the chair while I get ready. I show her various outfits before she helps me decide on a teal, knee-length, cap-sleeve dress with white flowers. “I love that one. It makes your eyes look really cool with the blue.”

I pick out a pair of white, strappy sandals and slide them on, all the while feeling Peyton’s gaze on me.

“You seem different,” she says, appraising me with a thoughtful smile, “you seem happy.”

“I am,” I respond confidently, and I really am. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.

“Matt seems to be having a positive effect on you and it really shows.” She crosses her legs and leans her elbow on the arm of the chair, her head propped in her hand. “What are you going to do once you go back to New York? Will you see each other?”

I grimace without realizing it, my mind racing through all the possibilities but having no answer to her question. “I don’t know. I’d like to but he hasn’t said anything.”

“Why are you waiting for him? Why don’t
you
say something?”

I shrug, feeling uncertain and suddenly very insecure. “I don’t know.”

“Oh, Fran.” She gets up and comes to sit beside me. “You’ve got it bad for him. I can see it in your eyes.”

She puts her arm around me and I lay my head on her shoulder.

“Yeah, I know.”

“So tell him, sweetie,” she whispers, “so tell him.”

Maybe I will. What have I got to lose? And therein lies my greatest fear. I could lose the very thing I now want more than anything.

“I’m off to get a massage. Call me later and let me know how it goes. Let’s hang out tonight when you get back from your trip.” She gives me a hug and prances out the door, stopping just before it closes. “Just tell him, Fran.” She blows me a kiss and then disappears.

I’m restless as I sit and wait for Matt, standing then sitting down repeatedly like a jack-in-the-box, my hands sweaty, my stomach doing somersaults. I need a distraction. My purse is on the table and I traipse over to it, searching for a piece of gum. When I open up the zippered pocket I see the necklace Mom gave me and smile. Just as I’m about to unclasp it and try it on, there’s a knock on the door and my heart does that funny fluttering thing that happens whenever Matt’s around.

The second I open the door, everything else disappears and the only thing I see is this amazing guy standing before me. With hair damp from a shower, that adorable dimple, and a light blue t-shirt that makes his eyes dance, he is irresistible.

“Hey,” I say, overcome with a sudden bout of shyness like we didn’t just have mind-blowing sex less than an hour ago.

“Hey yourself, beautiful,” he returns, before walking in and embracing me, feathering his lips against mine in a soft brush. “You ready to go?”

“Hmmm,” I reply, already lost, swept away to another planet, his fresh scent tickling my nose, his presence making me forget everything else.

“Let me just grab my purse.” I pluck my bag from the table while Matt reaches down to pick up the necklace I dropped on the carpet.

“Here, you dropped—”

“Okay, I’m ready.”

He doesn’t respond, but he’s staring at the necklace, moving it around between his fingers, examining it.

“Matt?”

When he doesn’t reply this time, I walk closer to try to get his attention.

“Matt? What’s wrong?” I ask, and when he looks up at me his eyes are glassy, his skin pale. It looks like he’s seen a ghost. “What is it?”

“Who gave you this?” he asks, and there’s something different, almost accusatory in his tone.

I gaze down at the necklace and it takes me a second to form an answer, but he doesn’t wait.

“Who gave you this?” he says again, but this time more firmly, his lips set in a frown.

“My mother did. It was a gift she had given me for my ninth birthday and when I saw her the other day, she gave it back to me.”

“I…I…have to go,” he says, his voice hoarse, his eyes looking anywhere but at me.

“What? Why?”

Without another word, he drops the necklace on the table before he’s gone, the door banging shut, an unwelcome echo in my ears. My gaze clouds and I rub my forehead in confusion, the need to sit down overpowers me. I reach the bed, grasping the necklace tightly in my hand as if it can provide the answers I need, but realize there’s only one person who can do that, the person who just walked out on me. I start to stand but sit back down quickly, the room beginning to spin, the solid ground I thought I was standing on has shifted, the rug pulled out from underneath me, yet again.

I can’t believe I just walked out on Fran but I didn’t know what the fuck to do or how to handle the thoughts swimming through my brain, the feeling that I was drowning in them. Rounding the corner from her hotel room, I slump down against the wall, my body sliding to the floor. I can’t slow my breathing and there’s an odd prickling under my skin that just won’t go away.
I don’t understand
, I keep telling myself over and over. I force my eyes closed, the memories flooding my mind, fresh and raw, like a wound that’s now been re-opened.

Brad walked out, his face red, his eyes swollen. He told me Mom wanted to see me next and I steeled myself by taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, before I turned the knob and entered her room. She was slumped on the bed and my chest ached at the sight of her sallow skin, her sunken eyes. My mom was still in there and although it didn’t look like her anymore, I could feel her spirit wrap around me, comforting me, even though she was the one who was sick. I took a seat on the chair, pulling it close to the bed so I could be next to her, realizing this could be one of the last moments I might have with her…and I wanted to make it count.

“Mom,” I began, but she silenced me immediately.

“Honey,” she said, her breathing labored, “reach into the top drawer for me and pull out the white box.”

I did as I was told and started to pass it to her, but her thin, frail hand rose to stop me.