Scarred Beautiful (19 page)

“Sure,” she responds, but still I feel so much sadness emanating from her and want to make her smile again.

“Hey,” Peyton says, when we make it back to the table, “I was wondering where you two disappeared to.” A subtle lift of her brow and a wink in Fran’s direction isn’t lost on me.

“We were out on the terrace, admiring the view.” Fran glances at me, a smile finally returning to her lips. Lips that I most definitely want to kiss again.

“So I have an idea,” I interject, “let’s go for a swim. There’s an amazing pool on the twenty-sixth floor with a view of the entire city.”

“I love that idea.” Peyton bounces with enthusiasm while the smile falls off of Fran’s face.

“Why don’t we do something else instead?” Fran asks. Her voice rattles, lacking its usual confidence. “Like…have a few more drinks or…maybe go out to a club.”

“Come on, Fran,” Caleb chimes in, “what’s better than a swim under the stars?”

Fran tries to catch Peyton’s eye as if to silently communicate something, which I’m now extremely curious about, but she’s too lost in Caleb to notice. This Fran is someone I don’t recognize, very different from the girl I’ve grown to know in just four short days. I’m trying to figure out the shift and it seems to have happened when I mentioned the pool. Maybe she can’t swim?

We cram our way through the packed bodies at the bar and out to the bank of elevators and it’s pretty obvious to me that Fran is lagging behind.

“I think I’m just going to go to my room and make it an early night.” She bites at her fingernail without looking up at us.

“No, you’re not,” Peyton says adamantly. She waves a hand at us and concentrates on Fran. “We’ll meet you up at the pool in thirty minutes.”

Caleb and I wait for the elevator and when it arrives I let him walk on first before taking one more look at Fran…and seeing nothing but fear.

Peyton drags me back to my room without saying a word, but once inside she lays into me. “What the fuck is going on? I want to know right now!” She sits at the edge of the bed with her arms crossed over her chest, her leg anchored over her knee. “Well, I’m waiting,” she bites out.

“I’m not going swimming, Peyton. You go ahead and have fun. I just want to go to bed,” I say, resigned, hurling my shoes across the room.

“Okay, what am I missing here? Did something happen with you and Matt?”

I slink over to the dresser and pull off my earrings and bracelets. “Just go on, Peyton, I’m fine.”

She hops off the bed, her eyes brimming with determination. “I’m not leaving here until you tell me what’s wrong.”

I throw my hands up in the air and groan. “Fine. Why don’t I want to go swimming?” Grabbing the hem of my dress, I pull it up over the burn marks on my thighs and past my belly. “This is why! I don’t want Matt to see my scars! Okay! Happy now?”

The anger on Peyton’s face dissipates, her eyes softening, her shoulders slumping. “Oh, Fran. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’m such a bitch.”

“No,” I reply on a deep sigh. “You’re not. I just….” I cast my eyes to the carpet. “I don’t want him to know how damaged I am, to see all the ugliness. He kissed me tonight, Peyton.” I lift my eyes back up to hers. “I’ve never been kissed like that before. It’s like he took possession of me yet I felt so safe with him, and I’ve never had that, and…I feel guilty saying this, but it wasn’t even like that with Kyle. I was lost, completely and totally lost in his arms.”

Peyton takes my hand and sits me down next to her on the carpet, exhaling heavily. “Fran, ugly isn’t even a word that could be used to describe you, and…do you really think that’s the type of person Matt is? That he would honestly be bothered by that? I mean, I know you haven’t known him that long, but even
I
can see he’s not shallow. He’s a good guy, Fran.”

“I know!” I laugh bitterly, lying down on the carpet. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Oh, honey.” She falls back and leans her head against mine. “Aren’t you the one who told me not to overthink, to just have fun?”

“Yeah.”

“So let’s go have some fun.” She nudges me with her shoulder playfully. “Swimming under the stars with two seriously hot guys, what could be more fun than that?”

“Fine,” I concede, pouting, “but I’m wearing my one-piece and a sarong, and I may not swim.”

“One step at a time. You’re coming, and that’s good enough.” She hangs her shoes over her shoulder, smiling. “I’ll be back in ten to pick you up.”

After Peyton walks out, I lie face down on the bed and bang my head on the cushioned mattress before flipping over on my back. What the hell is wrong with me? I rub my thumb over the contour of my lips, remembering the kiss that’s washed away the memory of every other kiss I’ve ever had. I should feel more bogged down by guilt, but I don’t. Maybe that means I’m on the road to healing. God, the way Matt’s tongue caressed mine, I could’ve kissed him forever. But I don’t have forever. I have ten days.

I stuff a pillow over my face and let out a sharp whine before dragging my ass over to the drawer and digging for my Norma Kamali red, ruched swimsuit and matching sarong. As soon as it’s on and I have everything covered, it occurs to me what I need to do. I need to talk to Gabby.

The phone rings four times before she finally answers and I relax the moment I hear her voice.

“Fran!” She screams, “Brad, it’s Fran!”

“Hey.”

“I miss you! How’s California?” she asks, and I don’t even have a chance to respond before she starts giggling.

“Can you get the caped crusader to keep his paws off of you for a second so we can have a conversation?” I laugh, thinking about Brad’s superhero obsession. Gabby used to joke about wanting to see Brad in nothing but his cape. I’m trying to stay away from
that
visual.

“Brad, stop,” she whispers, and I sit here shaking my head as if she can see me. “So how’s the trip going? Is the conference interesting?”

“Yeah…It’s good.”

“Okay, what is it? What’s wrong? You sound weird,” she prompts, and then I realize there’s no way to keep anything from Gabby. She knows me too well.

“Well, I kind of ran into someone here, and you’ll never believe who,” I say, a slow smile creeping across my cheeks.

“Really, tell me!” she demands, excitement and interest lacing her voice.

“Matt,” I reply, and there go my lips running away from me again. I can’t even say his name without a ridiculous grin.

“Matt?” Her voice raises a couple of octaves. “As in Brad’s brother?”

“Yes, and well, we’ve been spending some time together, and well…tonight, we kinda…kissed.”

“AHHHHH!” she screams, and I hear muffled and hushed voices before she comes back on the line.

“Gabrielle Willis! Don’t tell Brad!” I shout with a frustrated groan.

“Fran, I tell Brad everything. Oh my God, I want to know all about it. I’m so excited!”

I can practically see her jumping up and down, popping Swedish Fish as we speak.

“There’s not a whole lot to tell. We’ve just been hanging out.” Somehow when I say the words it doesn’t feel like the truth.

She sighs heavily. “I’m glad. He’s a great guy, but then again, he is Brad’s brother so it’s not surprising.”

“Yeah,” I reply, and as my mind drifts to our kiss, my cheeks instantly heat. I know with absolute certainty that I want to kiss him again. “We’re just having fun. I’ll be home in another week or so, anyway,” I add, a knot already forming in the pit of my stomach.

“Hmph, yeah. Why don’t you sound more excited about coming home,
Fran
?” she asks in that probing way of hers.

“I am, I’m just kind of tired.”

“You like him,” she says, and it’s not a question, it’s a statement.

A huge burst of air leaves my chest and I fall back against the pillow. “Maybe a little bit.”

“Maybe a lot, is what I think. And I’m not surprised. He’s one of the good ones.” Her tone is filled with sincerity and appreciation.

Peyton knocks at the door interrupting our chat. “Listen, Gabby. I have to go, Peyton’s here and we’re heading out.”

“All right. Just have fun, okay, and say hi to Matt and Peyton.”

“Will do. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I click end and scoot off the bed, lobbing the phone back in my purse before grabbing a towel, which I won’t need, and opening the door to find Peyton in a seriously skimpy black string bikini. “Jesus, Peyton, you look like a freaking swimsuit model in that thing.
That
is a hot suit. You may not make it to the pool without being mauled.”

She laughs and twirls around, finally stopping to give me the once over. “Fran, your tits look amazing. Wait until Matt sees you.”

I cup my breasts and push them up with my hands. “Yes, I’m fully aware of that. That’s why I bought this suit. The tag said it encouraged ‘foaming at the mouth.’ Shall we?”

Peyton breaks out into a full belly laugh complete with snorting before we link arms and make our way to the twenty-sixth floor.

There’s a wall of glass leading out to the pool and the view is stunning, but what’s even more unbelievable is what we see when we walk outside. Matt and Caleb are looking out at the city, low-riding swim trunks gracing their muscular forms, complete with strong, tanned legs and, from this distance, perfect asses.

Peyton stops in her tracks, squeezing my arm, and I wrench it away.

“Ow!” I rub my arm and sneer at her, making sure to keep my voice down so we can continue ogling from afar.

“I’m pretty sure if we checked out the word Adonis in the dictionary that both of their names would be right beside it,” she says in a hushed voice, and a couple of guys sitting by the pool look up from their conversation to give us the once over.

Matt turns around, almost as if he senses my presence, and when I see him it’s like a switch has been turned on inside of me, everything’s awake and alive now. The light in my stomach flickers on while the butterflies begin their dance, and I can’t take my eyes off of him as he walks my way. His muscles flex with every step and it’s obvious I’m staring but I can’t help myself.

“Hey, sunshine,” he greets me, his eyes sweeping past my legs, making a brief pause at my breasts, and then finally my face. “I like your suit.” He bends down and gives me a chaste kiss, his lips soft and warm, and it leaves me wanting more.

“Hey, yourself.” I glance over at Caleb. “Hi, Caleb.”

“What’s up, Fran. You guys ready to ride some waves or what?” He grabs Peyton’s hand and they jump in the deep end of the pool.

“He’s crazy.” I laugh, saying a silent prayer for Peyton that her suit didn’t come off during that jump, not that she’d mind.

“Are you okay?” Matt asks, reaching out to take hold of my hand and weaving his fingers through mine. “I was kind of…worried about you earlier. You weren’t acting like yourself.”

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” I lie, smoothing my free hand down the side of my sarong in an effort to distract myself from my inability to tell Matt the truth. He cocks his head to the side, watching me with a look that tells me he’s not buying it. How is it he can already read me so well?

“Come on, let’s put your stuff down and go for a swim.” He leads me over to the white lounge chairs lined up in front of the pool where his towel is laid out and nods toward the water.

“I’m not feeling much like swimming, but you go ahead.” I try to sound as casual as I can, but once again, I don’t think he really believes me. Maybe I should just tell him the truth, although the thought of that makes my limbs feel shaky, the desire to flee overwhelming.

“Can you not swim, Fran? I mean, do you not know how to swim?” he asks cautiously, not wanting to insult me.

“Of course I can, I just don’t feel like it.”

“Okay, then I’ll sit with you for a bit.” He takes a seat on one of the chairs and pulls me down to lie between his legs. I can’t deny it feels good. My head on his bare chest, his warm breath blowing on my neck, his erection pressing into my lower back. All is right with the world.

“So I just got off the phone with Gabby.” A relaxed sigh leaves my chest at how the sound of Gabby’s voice can always put me at ease.

“Oh yeah, how are she and my brother doing?” he asks, strumming his fingers down my bare arm, goose bumps parading across my skin.

“She seems good, we didn’t have long to talk and Brad was distracting her.”

“So what did you talk about?” he questions, delving for information I suspect.

“Oh, you know, the usual…girl stuff, the weather,” I reply, a smile that he can’t see peeking out from my lips.

“The weather, huh? So how’s the weather?” he remarks on a chuckle and I can tell he’s smirking without even having to turn around.

“I don’t know how it is there, but I told her it’s
amazing
here.” And I wonder if he picks up on my hidden message. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.”

“What’s with your brother and that superhero obsession?” From the beginning of Gabby and Brad’s relationship, she’d always tell me how he’d refer to her as Lois. She thought it was super cute, while I thought it was a bit odd…even though I love Brad.

“Yep, that’s my brother, Superman,” he snickers before continuing, “He’s been obsessed with Superman since he was in third grade and he made sure everyone knew it. I had to kick a couple of asses in his defense because he got teased about it a lot. The time he wore the cape to school was the worst. The boys in his class harassed him for days, especially this kid Robert Lankin. Asshole,” he barks out, and I love how protective he is and how he looks out for his baby brother.