Scarred (19 page)

Somehow during my spastic awakening, Sean had managed to stay asleep. I looked around his sparse bedroom for what was left of the outfit I'd had on the previous night. I needed to leave. Sean and I had just had a crash course in relationship upgrading, and I wasn't so certain that the evening’s events had accomplished what I'd hoped they would. I was sure that he knew how I felt about him, to say the least, but sex didn't make a relationship, and I was concerned that we'd tipped the scales a wee bit too far in that direction.

Easing off the bed to start the scavenger hunt for my clothes, I fumbled around his dimly lit room. I was still wearing my tunic and I found my boots relatively easily, but it took a while to track down my bra that was dangling off the corner of the upper kitchen cabinets. My tights and underwear were a lost cause; they had a date with the trash.

I put what was left of my clothes on quietly and tiptoed back to his room to find him still sacked out in bed. Apparently, I’d worn him out. Until that moment, I wasn't even positive sure that he slept at
all
.

I looked at him lying peacefully in the bed, the scant light playing up his chiseled features. He looked younger, like he had when we'd had our run-in at the club months ago—when life was simpler. Life may not have been simple anymore, but seeing him like that made it so much more tolerable.

With a smile on my face, I walked over to the bed and bent down beside him. A dark, wavy lock of his hair had gone astray and I played with it, thinking about how I'd never seen this side of Sean—the
soft
side. Not necessarily because he hadn't wanted me to, but more likely because timing never allowed it. I liked it immensely. He looked vulnerable―peaceful.

He looked
human
.

Leaning over to give him a whisper of a kiss in the center of his forehead, my blood rushed with the contact. I still didn't know why that happened, why he and I were like gasoline and a lit match, but as soon as we touched we ignited. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

I smoothed down his hair before standing and turned to leave the room, trying to be conscious of how much noise I was making. I didn't make it far. As I started to walk away, he caught my wrist.

“Love me and leave me?” Sean said, smiling wide. “I feel so
used
. I never took you for that kind of girl, Ruby. Perhaps I've underestimated you yet again.”

“I have to go,” I whispered, trying to delicately pull away from his hold.

“No,” he replied, pushing up off the bed. “You have to
stay
.”

I tried to look him in the eyes, but his chest and abs were just too distracting. It brought out the slightest chuckle from him.

“It's a lot, Sean,” I started in an attempt to explain my feelings. “I'm just...I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. I've wanted this for so long that—”

“Then why leave?” he interrupted.

“I just need some time alone to sort through things.”

“I thought that's what you did before you came here―sorted things out,” he said, a tiny frown developing.

“I know. And I
did
, but I didn't think much beyond the telling you part. Now I have to figure the rest out.”

“Why don't you just let it figure itself out, Ruby? Why do you have to have the answers all the time?”

“Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?” I retorted, thinking that was more his problem than mine.

“What are you so afraid of?” he asked, standing up to join me—without anything on.

“Well...not that thing, apparently,” I joked, looking down at his formidable bits. “
That
I think I'm good with.”

“So it would seem,” he replied with a wicked grin. “But you're pulling a '
Ruby
' on me right now. Don't use humor to deflect the question. What are you
really
afraid of?”

I squirmed under his intensity. Too much vulnerability in a short time period was not proving to be good for my blood pressure or my mental state. I wasn't used to having to process so many emotions so quickly. One thing I'd always had, before I gained my sight, was time. And a lot of it was spent alone. If something was bothering me, I had days to ruminate over it until I came to a logical and sensible conclusion. For the previous few months, all I'd done was bounce back and forth through an emotional mine field. There was no processing, only coping—denial being my favorite method. I was being asked to not only face my true feelings, acknowledge, and accept them, but then share them with the very person they mattered most to. It was a lot.

With my standard fight or flight response about to kick in under the stress, I wanted to flee, but, once again, I needed to draw a line. I'd made a choice not to run anymore, and I was going to try my hardest to stick to the new game plan.

Like it or not.

Easy or painful.

“I'm scared of more things than we have time to go over, Sean,” I started, with my typical edge of hostility. I was going to have to work on watering that down when applying the new game plan. “Right now, I'm scared of loving you.”

“But you said yourself that you've loved me for a long time,” he countered, looking confused.

“Exactly,” I replied, “that's the whole problem. I may have
loved
you, but I didn't get to
have
you. Loving someone and actually getting to apply that love are two totally different things, Sean. I'm scared that if I truly get to have you on every level imaginable, that somehow the universe―which seems to delight in lifting me up only to throw me back down―will once again spank me down into a pile of shit.”

“I thought you said you weren't afraid of that fallout last night?”

“I'm pretty certain I was talking out of my ass at that point, Sean. I've been known to do that when angered. Besides, the fallout has more to do with those around us—the PC, Ronnie, Cooper, Peyta...,” I said trailing off.

Peyta.

I'd forgotten all about the Rev's promise. He'd said he wasn't going to leave me alone at the bottom of the sea. He was going back for someone, and, given that she had rejected him just as Scarlet had, my money was on Peyta. “
Fuck
!” I screamed.

“What?” he asked, sensing that my outburst had little to do with our current conversation.

“The Rev,” I snarled, staring up at him. “We have to go, now!”

I was running for the door alone, but I could hear him throwing clothes on with lightning speed. He was beside me by the time I got to the door. He asked no questions, just followed me down the stairs as I mumbled hateful comments to myself. I'd been so selfish. In my lustful epiphany, I'd forgotten all about the psycho still loose—still after my friends.

“I'll never forgive myself if something happens to them,” I said as we jumped into his BMW and took off in a flash. It was still quite early, so Peyta would still be at home. At least I hoped so, that way Jay would be with both of them, but I knew that he was no match for the Rev alone, and I wasn't certain that the help of the other brothers there would tip the scales either. The Rev was a force to be reckoned with.

Sean wound easily through town at speeds in excess of sixty miles per hour, which was impressive for the narrow and wandering New Hampshire roads.

“What exactly did he say to you?” Sean asked, his business face taking over. It was as striking and beautiful as the one I'd just seen in his bed moments earlier, but it had edge and tone, and it gave off a
“fuck with me and you'll meet your end”
energy that still gave me the shivers when I saw it. I hoped that energy would deliver on the promise.

“It's complicated,” I said, knowing that Sean still had no clue what had happened before I showed up at his place that evening. “But when he let me sink down to the bottom of the bay, he told me not to worry, that I wouldn't be alone. He's after Peyta, Sean. I know it.”

“But he loves her, in his own twisted way,” he protested. “Why would he kill her?”

“He loves Scarlet too. He kept calling her
'his love'
, and he sank her ass with concrete and iron anklets to the bottom of the ocean. He knew Scarlet wouldn't have him, and he knows Peyta won't either. Not after the stand she took against him. He'll kill Ronnie and he'll plant Peyta next to where I'm supposed to be.”

“Fuck,” he whispered, digging in his pocket for his phone. “Jay? Jay, where are the girls?”

Silence…

Growling…

“I'll be there in five.” He chucked the phone on the passenger floor.

“What's going on? Are they okay? What did Jay say?” I badgered, my heart sinking into my stomach with every second he said nothing. “SEAN! Tell me what's going on!”

He looked over at me, his jaw clenched so tightly that the tendons and veins in his neck bulged violently. His silence continued until I couldn't take any more. I snatched his phone off of the floor and redialed the number. As I waited for Jay to answer, sweat dripped down my face and back. My panic had reached a fever pitch and my self-loathing kicked into high gear. Something was wrong and I knew it―
felt
it. After the fourth ring and no answer, the tears that were building spilled down my cheek. I pulled the phone away slowly, looking for the “end” key. As my thumb grazed it, a voice came through the receiver.

“Jay!” I yelled, putting the phone back to my ear, “what's going on?”

“Well, well, well…,” a horrifying voice replied. “This
is
a surprise. This may change everything.”

The Rev howled and laughed creepier than all the villains I'd encountered combined, which was no small feat. My hair stood on end while my eyes bled to red. I felt the transition this time—slow and deliberate. Scarlet and I hated him equally, our emotions on par. She growled so low and deep that the entire car’s interior shook.

“See you soon,” she purred, hanging up the phone. We were only a block away.

When we pulled into the driveway, everything appeared normal. I wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. I'd mentally prepared myself to pull up to a bloody crime scene, but the absence of it was even more off-putting.

“Are you going to tell me what's going on?” Scarlet asked, her voice tense and anger-filled.

“It's a hostage situation.”

“And?”

“It's a lose/lose one.”

“Mmmmm, my favorite kind,” she replied. “I
like
my back against the wall.”

She looked at him across the car with raw heat in her eyes. Danger made her extremely horny, judging by the vibes she was thrusting his way. He caught her double entendre with no trouble and his already dark eyes went black. Danger apparently did it for him too.

“Let's take this fucker out quickly,” she said as they jumped out of the car and ran to the house. “I’d like to spend my day doing something else.”

He roared while they flew up the driveway in seconds, crashing in the front door to a highly unexpected scene. The great room in the back of the house was filled with PC, Jay, Ronnie, and a
very
pissed off and frightened Peyta. The Rev, though putting on a good front, was frightened too. He was caught up in a shitstorm of individuals ready and willing to go medieval on him. But as Sean had said, the situation was of the hostage variety, centering around Peyta. The Rev was virtually surrounded by PC boys on all sides, with no real means of escape. The exception was his daughter, with whom he covered the front of his body, his teeth hovering over her neck.
She
was his ticket out.

Scarlet's surge of déjà vu tore a howl from deep within, rattling the light fixture high above until it plummeted to the floor directly in front of the Rev. It was a battle cry. They had unfinished business, and she wanted to end it once and for all. She lunged towards him only to be caught by multiple hands. Sean and the PC seemed to be far more wary of the standoff than she.

“If you're not going to let me finish this, then I highly suggest one of you get to it. My patience for this one is wearing painfully thin,” she said, jerking her head towards the Rev.

“Now, now, love, you sound so
angry
with me. I showed you such reverence, and yet you still love me not,” the Rev called to her, his teeth still grazing Peyta's neck.

“What's the lose/lose, Sean?” she growled, staring the Rev down across the room, still restrained by those around her.

“We have to let him go with Ronnie or he'll bite Peyta,” Sean replied, his gaze affixed on the Rev as well. “If she's bitten, we'll have to take her out. There's no one to heal her as she healed Ronnie, and letting her Change is not an option.”

“So either way, we lose one of them?”

“Yes,” he said, grinding the word out.

Scarlet looked over to Ronnie whose tear-stained face was barely visible amid the bodies of men that held her back. It took nearly as many as it did to hold Scarlet.

“I said he can take me,” Ronnie cried. “Let me go!”

“No,” Scarlet barked. “He has no honor. He won't keep his word, Ronnie. As soon as he has you, he'll bite her anyway. He may die, but he'll have gotten what he wanted. Hence the lose/lose.”