Scandalous Truth (6 page)

Authors: Monica P. Carter

BOOK: Scandalous Truth

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Chapter 14

Nikki's Internet search yielded all manner of horror stories. Her first query produced a report that eased her mind, but subsequent searches gave her information about children and adults whose lives were forever compromised by their condition, of other disorders that resulted from the untreated condition, even cancer.

By the time William got home, she was near tears. “Psalm has got to have this surgery. Now,” she insisted, before he even had a chance to take off his jacket.

“All right, baby,” William said in a calm voice.

“Are you listening to me?” Nikki demanded.

“Yes, I am. I said âall right.'” His voice remained calm.

“William, this is your child, your baby and you don't seem at all concerned for her well being,” Nikki snapped.

“I thought you said she was up and playing earlier? That, to me, is a clear sign she is fine,” William said.

“But what else did I say? I also said she was up and playing before all this happened, so we can't trust that to mean she is fine.”

“Well, we can trust God to reveal to us she is fine, and maybe that's what He is trying to do,” William said.

“Well, I think God wants us to do a bit more than sit around and wait on Him,” Nikki said. “That's what you always do. You go and call on the name of God and then sit back and wait for Him to act.”

“Well, I don't just âsit back,' as you so note, but I do trust. And I trust Him to do amazing things for us. What is a little digestive condition? God can heal that instantly. Maybe He already has.”

“But we don't know!” Nikki insisted. “I don't see why you can't get all this through your head. Our baby could be in that type of pain again, and I, for one, will not wait for that to happen.”

“So you're saying you know better than God?”

“No, I'm not,” Nikki said. “But what I am saying is that I want to do all I can. God wants us to act on our faith. I am acting. I'm trying to learn all I can about this condition, influence the insurance company as best I can, whatever is humanly possible. I'm not going to just sit on my hands.”

“Nobody is sitting on their hands, Nikki,” William said. “I just think we should wait and see.”

Nikki threw her hands in the air. “I just don't understand you sometimes. I'd think you'd be at least a little concerned that your daughter could die.”

William rubbed his eyes. “Die, Nikki?”

“Yes, die!” Nikki flung the words at him. “I sat right there on that computer and read some report about people dying from this thing.”

“Well, you know the Internet has all sorts of crazy info on there,” William said. “And yes, I'm just as concerned as you about Psalm, but I'm just trying to process all of this. That's all.”

“Process?” Nikki said. “What's to process?”

“Nikki, it's been a very long day, can I just take my shoes off first?”

“Oh,
you've
had a long day?” Her chest was heaving. “What about me? I've been here, going back and forth with the insurance company all dayâall day, Willâtrying to save my child's life and to no avail. I've been researching this condition on the Internet and each story is more horrible than the one before.”

“Okay, well, then get off the Internet,” William said. “You know you can't believe everything you read on there.”

“So, what, now you're saying I'm overreacting?”

William sighed. “Look, let's just chill for a few minutes and come back to discuss this.”

“Oh, so you need a break from me, is that it?”

“No, baby, but nothing I say right now is going to work, and quite frankly, I'm tired,” he said. “I just need a few minutesâjust a few minutesâto breathe without being disturbed.”

“So I'm a disturbance to you?”

William threw his hands in the air. “Impossible.” He grabbed his keys. “Look, I'm going to hang out at Mac's house,” he said. “I'll see you when you calm down.”

“I know you are not just going to walk out while I'm talking to you!” Nikki said, her hand on her hip. “So you want to run to your brother's house to escape me, is that it?”

“Bye, baby.”

William closed the door behind him and Nikki cursed. Every fiber in her being wanted to call William back and let every profanity she could summon fly. She speed-dialed Danielle instead.

“Hey, girl,” she said when Danielle answered. “You won't believe what just happened.”

“What?” Danielle said.

“Will can be so insensitive sometimes. He just came home and I told him the insurance company won't pay for my baby's operation. And then I told him about all the horrible stuff I found out about this disease. All he could do was say he needed time to âprocess.' What kind of mess is that? Then he walked out.”

“Well, you know William always was a little slow,” Danielle said. “He never does anything fast. He always has to think about things, or should I say, âpray on it.'”

“Well, it's okay for him to think and pray, but I needed him to be as freaked out as me,” Nikki said. “But he was just calm. Maybe he just doesn't care.”

“You know that's not true,” Danielle said.

“Sometimes, I just wonder why I married him,” Nikki said.

“Well, I told you, you should have waited,” Danielle said. She paused. “Hey, look, my other line is beeping, hold on for a sec.”

A beat later, she returned. “This is old Troy on the other line, trying to apologize. I went off on him when some woman called my job about him earlier today. He knows he's in the doghouse. I'm going to make him beg, though. He can't just think he can treat me any kind of way and think that all will be well.”

“So is he seeing the other girl?”

“I don't know,” Danielle said. “He said she is stalking him and that's why she called me. She even made her cousin move next door to spy on him. He keeps saying he's not doing anything, so I guess he's not.”

“Well, don't be dumb over a man,” Nikki said. “You can let him go, you know.”

“Oh, I know you're not giving me relationship advice, Miss I-can't-even-keep-my-man-at-home.”

“It's not even like that, and you know it,” Nikki said. “But hey, I'm going to let you get back to your man. Thanks for listening.”

Nikki hung up. She let out a heavy breath, as she thought back over the argument with her husband. William seemed calm even at the idea that their daughter could have a serious condition. For him, prayer would take care of it. Nikki wanted that confidence; she wanted to give prayer a chance. She walked across the living room and grabbed a Bible from its spot next to a smiling photo of Psalm on a table. The Bible had lain there for weeks, untouched. She sat on the couch and flipped to Matthew. She read one passage and then another. Nikki closed the Bible and put her hand to her mouth, reflecting on what she had just read. She leaned her head back, staring into space. “Lord, you said, âAsk and ye shall receive.' Well, I am asking you. Please deliver my child. That's what I need to receive. Deliverance for Psalm.”

She swallowed hard. “I know you said if we just have faith the size of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Well, I don't know how big a mustard seed is, but I'm having an issue of faith right now. Please heal my unbelief.”

Maybe William was right. Maybe God had already delivered Psalm. Maybe that's why the child was playing so freely and showing no apparent effects of illness. Maybe the insurance had been denied because she didn't need the surgery. Nikki smiled a bit wryly. She knew she could be hasty to action at times, and a bit high-strung. Faith was still new for her.

Nikki had seen William's attachment to church and religion very early in their relationship and had worked to be a woman who had the same attachments. He was thrilled when she joined his church, the choir and even became an usher.

But sometimes that transformation showed a few cracks. Like now. Nikki went to church most Sundays and sometimes studied her Bible. She made sure to do what she thought to be rightâshe didn't cheat on her husband and she tried to treat people with kindness. But Nikki had a hard time trusting in what was outside of her control, and relying on prayer to heal her daughter just made her uncomfortable.

She had read about miracles in the Bible and had heard testimonies in church, but she couldn't cite any instance in her own life where she had let go and let God handle something dear to her. No matter what hard time she and William faced, she always tried to look for a practical solution, not a faith answer. She wasn't raised that way, and certainly life's hard knocks had taught her to be careful about trust.

Nikki fingered the outline of the frame around Psalm's photo and took a deep breath.

She would try this thing called faith.

Chapter 15

Danielle told Troy he could come over. She quickly showered and slithered into a new Victoria's Secret purple thong and bra set. She raced the vacuum across the floor and squirted Febreze in the air. Danielle sprayed Victoria's Secret perfume behind each ear, dabbed it between her breasts, and, for good measure, on her thighs. She popped an Altoid into her mouth. Old Luther Vandross ballads flirted with the air and a bottle of white wine chilled in the refrigerator.

Danielle always knew how to please a man. She had learned at an early age that she could get whatever she wanted if she acted nicely and looked pretty, both of which were art forms to her. Tonight, she would make Troy declare fidelity to her. After all, why would he want to be with anyone else when he had her?

Stepping into her Louis Vuitton red dress, Danielle had to twist a bit to zip it. “Hmm,” she said, eyeing the faintest beginning of a love handle as she held her breath to let the zipper glide over it. “Oh, well, Troy won't care about that.

I'm still finer than whoever it is he was with before me. And I look good.”

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Danielle quickly stepped into her pumps, took a last look into the mirror and walked toward the door. She waited for a second knock and fanned her faceâthere was no sense in looking as if she had been sitting around waiting for him.

She slowly opened the door and a smiling Troy pushed into her place. His skin was dark like midnight and the clearest she had ever seen on a man. His hair was cut close, with tiny waves making her want to stroke his head. His dark, strong, firm lips curved into that ever-present cocky smile that always gave her a slight rush. Danielle's eyes roamed over the rest of him. Troy was six-feet-four-inches tall, with rock hard arms that bulged out of his muscle shirt. A diamond studded Rolex twinkled on his wrist and a rough looking raised, black shoulder tattoo bespoke his earlier jailhouse years. She knew what was beneath the sharply starched expensive jeans. A shudder went up her spine as she anticipated his powerful body pressed against hers.

“What's up, girl?” he said, dropping a case of beer on the counter. “Get me one of them.”

She rolled her eyes at his gruff manner, but grabbed a glass from the dishwasher. “Do you want something to eat?”

“Yeah, what you got?”

She hadn't really expected to fix anything, and indeed, didn't cook, but she smiled. “I could order a pizza.”

“Okay, that's cool.” He kicked off his luminescent white sneakers. “Make it a large, pepperoni.”

“Pepperoni makes me sick.”

“What are you telling me for?”

Forget about the stupid pizza
, she told herself. “Oh, no reason. That's fine,” she said, pouring beer in a glass. “I'll order it and then we can talk.”

“I thought we already talked.” Troy picked up her remote and flipped on her flat-screen television. Zooming through the channels, he stopped at a music video of scantily clad young women gyrating to heavy beats. “I thought I was coming over here for something other than some talking.” He snatched Danielle onto his lap and jammed her hand to his groin. “That's what I thought I came over here for.”

The touch excited her, but she knew she had business to take care of first. “Seems like you're feeling better,” Danielle said, noticing the quick recovery. She passed him the beer. “Well, we still have a few things to iron out.”

“Why don't you iron out that number to the pizza place and then come on back over here and sit on Big Daddy's lap?”

Troy shoved her off him. She shot him a dirty look when she stumbled to gain her balance. Danielle quickly found the number and placed the order. Then she sat on the couch next to him.

“So you ready to give me some?” He groped for the zipper on her dress.

She slapped his hand away and retorted, “Troy, you don't know if I'm going to sleep with you or not.”

“Girl, stop playing!” He snatched her to him and kissed her hard. She sank into his bruising kiss, then twisted away.

“You're not just going to disrespect me and then think everything is all right,” Danielle challenged, staring him straight in the eyes. She licked her bottom lip.

“You think you're calling the shots here or something?” Troy demanded, pinning her down and kissing her again. His hands roamed her skin. “Don't you know who is in charge here? Don't you know I always get what I want?” he said. When her breath began coming in ragged bursts, he snatched his hand away.

Danielle's eyes flew to his smirking face. She shoved him off her and struggled to sit up. “And I get what I want. Now, we need to get a few things straight.”

Troy instantly abandoned the harsh, demanding tone of a moment ago and charm oozed from his lips. “Come, on, baby, don't mess up the mood. We got plenty of time to talk about whatever you want.”

“Troy, listen,” she said as he began touching her again. “Troy, look, wait,” she said, knowing her power of persuasion was in this moment. “What about that woman who called me? How did she get my number, and how did she know so much if you're not doing anything with her?”

“Baby, I told you, she's stalking me.” His fingers again got busy on her skin.

Danielle wanted to melt under their touch, but she tried to clear her throat and regain the conversation. “Troy, listen. I'm tired of playing around. I'm twenty-eight, almost twenty-nine years old. I want a familyâwell, maybe a dog instead of kidsâa house . . . all that stuff one day. But I can't have that with someone who is fooling around. So just tell me, are you seeing anybody else?”

“Baby, I'm into you right now.” He kissed her neck.

“I mean, period, not just at this moment,” she insisted, making one last effort to push forward her conversational agenda. She tried to shove his kiss away, but she didn't try too hard. “I'm not going out with anybody but you. And I need to know you're doing the same for me.”

“Why are we even having this conversation?”

“Troy, I need someone who is going to be faithful to me,” Danielle said. “I need someone who is going to do right. I need someone who will go to church with me.”

“Church?” Troy said. “Is that what this is about? Half the time, you don't go to church yourself, and now you want to drag me up in there? C'mon, now. You know I don't get down like that.”

“Well, I might not go to church every time the doors openâ”

“Every time the doors open? You barely make it once a month.”

“That's not true!” Danielle snapped, though she knew his words did have some truth to them. “Anyhow, this isn't about me. It's about you. I want a man who at least is making an attempt to live right.”

“Well, when you start living right, then maybe I will,” Troy said. “It just kills me that all the women I date want to start trying to change a man. And yet they aren't doing what they should do. How many times have you cussed me out? How many times have you done crazy stuff that I know is not in the Bible? So, why are you trying to hold me to a different standard?”

“I am not trying to hold you to a different standard!”

“Oh, really? Well, why is it that it's okay for you to lieâyou lied to your boss earlier today, telling her you had a life and death emergency and had to be rushed to the hospitalâbut you get on me for lying? And why is it that it's okay for you to disrespect me, but you want to kick me to the curb for saying a few words to you? I'm just trying to see what makes you so special that you can live any way you want, but you want me to get a makeover.”

“You are twisting everything all around,” Danielle said. “I am saved, but maybe I'm not delivered from every single thing. I am human. If I make a few mistakes, so what? At least I believe in Jesus.”

“Well, isn't being saved about a little bit more than that?”

“Well, that's the main thing,” Danielle retorted. “I don't have to be a holy roller.”

“Seems a bit hypocritical to me.”

“Oh, well, you wouldn't understand,” Danielle said. “Non-believers always want to hold believers up to an impossible standard. And it's not that simple. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to believe in Jesus and try to do all right.”

“Well, how can you press me to do right when the best you can do is
try
?” Troy asked. “That's why I'm not down with all that stuff. I just live my life the way I want and that'll be all right.”

“But, Troy, we can be really good together,” Danielle pleaded. “You can join my church. We can get married. We can be happy.”

“Baby, you knew what I was when you got with me,” he snapped. “Now stop all this mess. I'm the same thing now as I was then.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I'm saying that you are looking really good.” He stood up and stepped out of his pants. He let the boxers slide to the floor and kicked them away. He disrobed, taking off everything else.

“Troy, so, is this just a little fling for you? Just a little piece?” she pressed. She gathered her composure and slid off the couch and stood, brushing her dress back down around her thighs. He reached for her and she jerked away, refusing to let him touch her. But he followed her and dragged her to the floor with him. “Troy, you can't do this.”

He ignored her and tore off her dress. She gave a halfhearted resistance when her dress fell in a wrinkled heap on the floor, but didn't say anything when she, too, was naked as her body waited for him to finish what he started.

She mustered what little will she had left and repeated her question. “Am I just a piece to you?”

“Baby, baby,” he said. “Look, don't get yourself all worked up. You got the music playing all nice, you're smelling good, looking good. Now, let's just enjoy the moment.”

She waited for him to finish pleasing her, but he didn't. Instead, he peered into her face. “See, this is what I mean. Don't your little Sunday School lessons teach you that having sex outside of marriage is wrong? I don't see you trying to stop doing that. So do you just pick and choose what rules you'll follow?”

“Shut up, Troy!” Danielle said, annoyance making her tone sharp. “I told you, it's complicated. You wouldn't understand. The Bible was written thousands of years ago. Not everything in it is to be taken literally.”

Troy grinned. “See, that's why I like you. You always know what to say.”

Troy kissed her again and a smile of satisfaction spread across Danielle's face. He was here with her now. Whoever he was with the other day didn't matter. She knew sharing her body was the key to affection. She had learned that skill long ago.

“Do you like that?” she asked, kissing his neck.

“Yeah, baby, you know how I like it.”

“Are you going to get serious about me now?” she pressed.

“Yeah, baby.”

Danielle grinned to herself. She pressed further. “So, do you love me?”

“Girl, come on!” he said roughly, leaning in to kiss her again.

She wrestled free. “Do you love me?”

“Yes, girl, now come on!”

I've still got it.
Satisfied, she leaned into his kiss.