Scandalous-nook (18 page)

Once they were on the road, she let the tears fall, wondering if they would ever stop.
Stephen couldn’t fix this with a few phone calls the way he had the last time. Burke
was too well connected. Too smart.

Which meant she’d lost them. All of them. Ellen and Shawn. Jennifer and Owen.

Stephen.

The horrible truth was that, instead of helping, she’d ended up giving Phil Burke
exactly what he needed to cause a scandal. All these years of following the rules
to protect Stephen’s reputation and her heart, and she’d put both in jeopardy because
she hadn’t been able to resist his invitation.

How long have you been in love with him?

“All my life,” she whispered into the car. She was just afraid to admit it until it
was too late.

Two months later…

“Thank you for meeting me here, Jeremy. I know it seems like a strange request.”

Jeremy wrapped his arm around Tasha’s shoulders and hugged her close as they walked
down the hospital’s hallway. “Sneaking you in to see the old man after visiting hours?
Pshaw. I’m getting used to the beatings.”

She held the box full of Shawn Finn’s favorite lemon tarts close and picked up her
pace. When Jeremy messaged her about Shawn’s TIA, she’d nearly climbed the walls in
her impatience to make sure he was okay.

Only the threat of ruining his son’s life and giving the man a heart attack had stopped
her from rushing to his side. She’d decided to sneak him some sweet contraband when
no one else was around. She would give him this peace offering, thank him for the
years of kindness his family had shown her, and say goodbye.

And it would really be goodbye this time. Her apartment was nearly packed, her moving
truck was coming next week and a new life was waiting for her on the other side of
the country.

It was only way forward she could see.

“Tasha, I think I’ve been patient. Are you ever going to tell me what happened between
you and Stephen? What was so bad that you’ve cut everyone out of your life? A lot
of people are hurting here, babe. Jen and Ellen. And Jesus, don’t get me started on
Brady.”

“Brady?”

Jeremy nodded. “My new buddy. I think he’s slowly moving in. He and Owen just sat
on my couch playing video games every night for weeks. And now he’s been whispering
on the phone with some guy named Ken. Owen says he’s a rope master? But I don’t think
they’re having phone sex, more’s the pity. That Marine needs a date. He’s too wired.
And then there are those nightmares of his. He says that’s what keeps him awake all
night. His insomnia is putting a serious damper on my sex life.”

Brady was spending time with Jeremy and Owen instead of protecting Stephen? “Doesn’t
he still work for…the senator?”

She shouldn’t be thinking about what Stephen was doing. It led to thinking about what
she’d done to him—cutting him off the way she’d been told to. Without explanation
or apology. She didn’t answer any of his phone calls, she’d ignored the loud knocking
at her door until her neighbors intervened and threatened to call the police on him.
She’d given Burke what he wanted. No sex, no matter how good it was, was worth that
kind of headaches she’d given him. Worth that kind of betrayal.

He must have come to the same conclusion, because his attempts to communicate with
her had stopped after the first two weeks. Now she didn’t even have that contact,
however miniscule and depressing it had been. Jeremy’s reports through instant messages
and texts were what she lived for now. He was determined to keep her in the family
loop, and even though it hurt, she’d let him. She had to know what was happening.

It was how she found out Jen had stopped going to the club after getting arrested
for assault. Jeremy said “some married woman” had been trash-talking Finns after Jen
turned down her offer for a threesome. Again. It was something that had started a
few months ago, insults that had followed the initial rejection. That was what Jen
had wanted Tasha’s advice about. This time the heated words led to hair-pulling which
led to Jen’s fist in the woman’s face. Jen had broken the lady’s nose and her cousin
James hadn’t been on duty this time to stop the couple from pressing charges.

A fine was paid and community service offered, and the last Jeremy had told her, Jen
was looking through college pamphlets and considering getting a master’s degree in
social work. She was also taking an indefinite break from the fetish club. And sex.

Tasha hoped she’d find the right balance soon, social work sounded right. Little Finn
had a big, beautiful heart.

“Brady’s unemployed.” Jeremy’s words brought Tasha back to the conversation with a
jolt. “Stephen fired him as soon as you got back from your sexy holiday, which obviously
wasn’t as sexy as planned.”

“He fired his cousin? Why?” But she knew. Brady had kept his promise to her. He’d
refused to tell Stephen anything about why she’d left.

“Really bummed Brady out, as you can imagine. I think he blames himself for what happened
between you and Stephen, but no matter how much I feed him, he won’t tell me why.”
He swore. “He won’t talk to us. Stephen won’t talk to Owen. And you won’t say a word
to anyone. According to my sources, you haven’t even been to the club in two months
and no one there knows why either, although a few of them have mentioned something
about you having a boyfriend. But you don’t do boyfriends so I know that can’t be
true. I thought we swore no more secrets, Tasha. Why do I feel like there are more
of them now than ever?”

“Because there are,” she replied, as truthfully as she could. “But they’re necessary.
You know I wouldn’t keep them if they weren’t.”

Jeremy was breaking her heart. She wanted to tell him everything, the way she always
did, but she couldn’t. He and Owen may not be married—yet—but only a license and a
legal name change kept him from being a Finn. He wouldn’t be able to withhold these
secrets from Owen. They were too big. And Owen would call a damn family meeting, because
that’s what they always did. If that happened, the Finns would find themselves in
the middle of a big, juicy scandal.

And she’d still have lost them, because she’d be the cause.

“Don’t move away.” It wasn’t the first time he’d made the request. “We’ve lived in
the same city our whole lives, Tasha. We were going to grow old together and chase
after the perfect third in the same nursing home.”

Her laughter was damp with unshed tears. “That’s an old dream for two lost souls.
You’ll grow old with Owen now. And I have to go.”

He stopped and turned her toward him. “Why? Why do you
have
to go? You keep saying that. If you’re in trouble, maybe I can help.”

I have to go because of five pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctor’s office.
“You can’t. Not right now.”

“You’re going to tell me. Someday soon you’ll tell me everything and we’ll laugh about
this when we move you into the lake house next to ours so we can be old gossips together
and tease Owen for trying to eat pizza without his false teeth.”

“You don’t know how good that sounds.”

Jeremy opened the door to the hospital room and Tasha bit her cheek hard when she
saw Shawn Finn looking as pale as the sheets beneath him. But he smiled when he saw
her. “Is that Tasha? With lemon tarts?”

She took another step and faltered. Seamus was sitting in a large recliner.

Seamus, not Stephen.

Owen was standing beside him and Ellen was sitting at Shawn’s bedside, holding his
hand.

Tasha sent a look to Jeremy, who shrugged. “You said after visiting hours. What you
failed to remember is that rules and regulations mean nothing if you’re a Finn.”

Ellen waved him off. “We’re not visitors. We’re family.”

Tasha took a steadying breath, determined not to cry. She couldn’t turn around and
walk out without a word. She’d just do what she came to do. She held out the box to
Ellen. “Lemon tarts. There should be enough for everyone.”

Ellen took the tarts and set them on the table beside the bed. She patted Shawn’s
hand, stood and circled the bed to take Tasha in her arms without a word.

Oh God, please don’t let me cry.
Tasha let the embrace go on as long as she could, then took a small step back, holding
herself very still. “Jeremy says he gets to go home in the morning?”

Ellen studied her closely, worry and exhaustion on her face. “Yes. A mild stroke,
the doctors told us. He was confused and lost feeling in his left arm for a few hours,
but its almost entirely back now, and he’s sharp as a tack.”

“And hungry,” Shawn added from the bed, making everyone laugh. “Woman? I need a tart.”

“Yes dear,” Ellen smiled, moving back toward her husband, but Tasha knew she had questions.

Owen wandered over to them, kissing Jeremy in tender welcome before frowning down
at her. “Did you tell her about my cousin eating all our food? That he said
she
told him to come over, and now he won’t leave?”

“I did.”

“Is she done pouting?”

Tasha glared. “I’m right here, Owen.”

“Are you?” he countered. “It’s been so long I couldn’t remember what you looked like.”

“Children.” Ellen’s voice was a calm, cheerful warning. “The nurse did mention something
about a headcount if we make too much noise.”

Jeremy pushed Owen toward Tasha. “Be nice. Look at her. She doesn’t seem to be any
happier than Brady’s been. Or your brother.”

“Hell.” Owen pulled her into his arms in a tight bear hug. “Please forgive them for
my sake. I don’t know what they did, and I’ll kick any ass you’d like, but we have
not
been a fun group of people to be around without you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. Let’s not talk about it, okay? Not now. I came to see
your father.”

She managed to disentangle herself and walked over to the bed, bending down to kiss
Shawn’s wrinkled cheek. His wink made her smile wobble. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“We all are,” Ellen told her. “He even scared his brother into sending flowers.” She
nodded at the vase filled with roses by the bed. “Or Stephen did.”

“Stephen?” She tried not to flinch when she said his name.

Jeremy reached around her for the small card and handed it to Tasha. “Look at what
it says.”

She took it with trembling fingers, not wanting to be rude or upset the man recovering
from a stroke by refusing.

Shawn,

The senator has informed me that we’re having a family dinner when you get out of
the hospital. I’m hungry, so hurry up.

Sol

Shawn saw her frown and chuckled. “He isn’t as cuddly as I am. For him, that’s practically
a sonnet.”

She smiled reluctantly. This was a good thing. The Finns were a family. All of them.
They needed to stick together.

“We’ve scheduled it for next week.” Ellen smiled up at her hopefully. “We were hoping
you could come. I’m sure things would go that much smoother if you were in charge
of dessert.”

Her heart ached. “I can’t. I’m leaving next week. Moving, actually. I’m sorry, I thought
Jeremy told you.”

Ellen’s smile faded and resignation lit her eyes. “Away from the city?”

“The state,” Tasha corrected quietly. “It’s a great opportunity, it really is, but
I’m going to miss…everyone. I can have Adrian bring over a box of tarts. I’ve made
him the bakery supervisor until I get the right offer to sell.”

“Next week?” Seamus spoke from the recliner. He hadn’t moved since she arrived.

“That’s when the truck arrives.”

The room grew uncomfortably quiet. She felt like she was betraying them. Like they
were disappointed in her. All she wanted to do was stay, but she didn’t belong here
anymore. She never really had. Not the way Jeremy did.

Shawn coughed, setting down his half-eaten lemon tart. “Natasha?”

“Yes, sir?”

“It shouldn’t need to be said, but I want to make it clear that as long as Ellen and
I are around, you have a place to be. I imagine Jeremy will say the same. You’re a
strong girl with a good head on your shoulders, and I’m sure you have your reasons
for wanting to pick up and start fresh. So whatever you’re going through, go through
it, and when you’re done we’ll still be here.”

“T-thank you.”

She covered her mouth in time to mute her sob. She couldn’t stay any longer. Couldn’t
look into their faces, see those Finn-blue eyes, for another minute. She turned for
the door and no one tried to stop her.

When she reached the parking garage, she heard footsteps behind her. She whirled with
a gasp, her hand going to her throat where her heart had lodged.

Seamus. Not Stephen. Seamus.
“Did I forget something in the room?”

His hands were stuffed in his jean pockets and his shoulders were hunched defensively.
He was angry? She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Seamus angry before. “Seamus?”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Break his damn heart.” He looked around as the sentence echoed, moving closer to
her and lowering his voice. “Left him without a word. Refused to talk to him. And
now, he’s not… He’s different.”

Tasha crossed her arms over her chest protectively. “Did he say his heart was broken?”

“Those first few weeks he talked a lot. Called me in the middle of the night, drunk
off his ass.”

“Drunk?” Stephen didn’t get drunk.

“Every night,” Seamus emphasized. “And you were what was on his mind. He talked about
what happened in college. He mentioned that a lot. You tried to leave him then too,
and the only way he could keep his foot in the door was to offer you the no-strings
solution. Just sex.”

Seamus shook his head. “If he’d told me about what had been going on in his head all
these years, I’d have set him straight. But Stephen doesn’t talk about his feelings.
Or he didn’t. He never even told me about you. Not until we all saw that video.”