Scandal (6 page)

   “Let’s have another glass of wine to toast the good news shall we?  And then I’ll order the pizza,” she added.

   “Why not.”  The girls chinked their glasses.

   “To tomorrow; the beginning of your new life.”  The words Simone said felt so good to Ashleigh’s ears.

   “To a new life,” Ashleigh replied, smiling like she’d never smiled before.

Chapter Four

There was only Ashleigh on the last bus which suited her fine.  She hated the odd balls that usually chose to travel on last buses.  There were the rowdy drunks, the perverts, and the weirdo’s, all travelling around for different reasons.  The driver made a small amount of conversation with her which she didn’t mind.  She felt good, if a little nervous at having to approach her mum about moving out. But, it needed to be done.  Having decided earlier that she wouldn’t say anything until the morning, Ashleigh wondered if her mum would be remotely bothered.  A small part of her knew that she, Ashleigh Sloane would feel
some
sadness at leaving her mother behind, but for her own sanity, she
was
doing the right thing.  This would be the release she needed from the crazy life she’d been thrust into through no fault of her own.  For a young girl, Ashleigh had had to deal with too much by herself.  She’d been willing to give it a go with her mum, encouraged her countless times to find work, stay off the booze and sort herself out.  Instead, Linda had done the opposite and hit the self destruct button.  It was too tempting to let pangs of guilt get the better of Ashleigh, winding their spiteful ways around her conscience.  Yes, Linda was her mother, the lady who’d given birth to her.  But what role as a mother had she actually played in Ashleigh’s life?  Apart from providing a roof over her head, she’d provided nothing else.  Ashleigh wasn’t asking for fancy clothes or expensive holidays, just an interest in who she was.  How well she’d done at school would have been a start.  Linda had failed to protect her against her drunken father too, turning a blind eye when seeing him going into her room; failing to defend her when he raised a fist to her.  If Ashleigh was to ask herself if she loved her mother, the answer would falter on her lips.  Could she describe what she felt for her as love?  It was doubtful. 

   Getting through her life day to day had been a struggle.  But soon that life would be over.  Simone had acted like her Guardian Angel, showing more compassion in the short time they’d known each other than her mother had shown since giving birth to her.  It was too late for doubts; her chance had come for her to change her life. 

   Looking out of the grimy window of the bus, watching the run down and abandoned shops pass her by, Ashleigh knew that to have regrets would cost her dearly.  Linda didn’t care about her welfare; she never had and never would.  And to a young girl, that was a bitter blow.

   Meeting Simone had been like a dream come true; convinced it was down to God’s work, hearing her cries for help.  Because of Him, she’d vowed to herself to start going to church a lot more.  Not because she wanted more help but because she needed to say thank you.  This way, she felt she’d be able to talk to God without anyone mocking her.

   The bus driver said good night to Ashleigh as he opened his doors with a whoosh to let her off.  It was ten o’clock, very dark, with a slight frost forming on the windscreens of parked cars.  Tonight would be the last night she’d have to endure the freezing temperatures in her bedroom.  Her life with Simone would be so much easier.

   A door banged just as Ashleigh’s foot hit the bottom step to the flats, startling her somewhat.  But it was the heavy footsteps running down the stairs which kept her frozen to the spot.  Heavy breathing sounded.  A man wearing a hooded jacket came into view.  He paused for a split second at the top of the last set of steps when he saw Ashleigh but carried on down them, knocking her out of the way slightly with his shoulder.  The all too familiar smell of a smoker polluted her nostrils.  If she hadn’t have known better, she would have said he was running away from something or someone.

   Sensing that something was wrong by the half open front door, Ashleigh entered the flat cautiously.  Half expecting to find her mum slumped in front of the television totally wrecked only added to Ashleigh’s surprise as the television wasn’t even on.  There weren’t any men’s shoes sat by the discoloured skirting boards, nor were there any items of men’s clothing hanging lazily on the stained chairs.  It was unusual for Linda to be out somewhere, Ashleigh thought as she put down her bag and closed the door.  Maybe she’d gone out in a drunken stupor, simply forgetting the door hadn’t slammed shut.  The flat held an unhealthy silence.  Ashleigh stood for a moment listening.  Her heart began to pound, drumming sinisterly through her ears.

   “Mum?  Mum, are you here?” 

   There was something about the silence which added to the eeriness around her.  Noticing her mum’s bedroom door slightly ajar, she went over quietly.  She knocked gently, knocking again when no reply came.  Edging herself closer to the room, Ashleigh peered in.  The light was on but what she saw didn’t register immediately.  Maybe that was nature’s way of preparing her.  Despite her bedcovers being soiled from never being washed, the stains of blood were still noticeable.  Seeing her mum sprawled out on the bed, naked, lifeless, and with her throat cut would be a sight she’d never forget.  The dripping of blood falling freely down her limp hand, onto the bedroom floor provoked the silence; that was until Ashleigh screamed. 

   She didn’t feel the gentle hands around her shoulders or hear the comforting words being said.  All she felt was the searing pain through her knees as she collapsed onto the hard surface of the bedroom floor.  The neighbours had alerted the police after hearing Ashleigh’s screams.  They’d known about the carryings on there.  Some of them had even tried to help Linda, for her daughter’s sake.  But, she’d turned them all away, spitting abuse and vulgar words at them time and time again until slamming the door in their faces, urging them with aggression that she didn’t need help.

   No one could really tell the police anything about that particular night.  They hadn’t heard any unusual screams or arguing coming from the flat.  One neighbour had passed a gentleman on the stairs at eight o’clock as she’d been going out but she hadn’t seen which door he’d knocked on.  She hadn’t seen his face either behind the hooded jacket he’d been wearing.

   A family liaison officer sat with Ashleigh in a room at the police station.  It was a room meant for such purposes.  Although shattered to the point of feeling as though she could sleep for a week, Ashleigh managed to give a description of the man she’d passed on the stairs, just before she’d found her mum.  The police hadn’t confirmed the time of death, but thought if Linda had been dead for some time, the gentleman who’d hurried passed Ashleigh may have found her that way, panicked and left.  She remembered not seeing his eyes or hair but could tell the police he had gingery stubble on his chin.  Ashleigh remembered the clothes he’d been wearing, mentioning the strong smell of cigarettes.  Thinking of no-one else she could spend the night with, Ashleigh gave the address of Simone. 

   Unable to speak for fear of crying, Ashleigh remained silent in the back of the police car as she headed towards the same place where she’d travelled from only a few hours earlier.  Simone was waiting on the doorstep as the police car pulled up. 

   She cradled Ashleigh in her arms as they sat in silence on the settee.  Two cups of warm milk sat on the coffee table gathering skin on the surface.  Simone had been told about what had happened to Linda.  She was shocked and horrified but her heart went out to Ashleigh.

   After an hour of sitting in total silence, Simone tucked Ashleigh’s small form into her new bed during the early hours of the following morning.  Ashleigh had seemed spent of tears, just sitting earlier in the evening with her head on Simone’s shoulder.  It’d only been a month since they’d met but yet this friendship had already seen plenty.  When the sun rose, it would be another day for Ashleigh.  Simone knew she’d have a tough few months ahead of her having to come to terms with what had happened on that night, on the day she’d celebrated her eighteenth birthday.

Chapter Five

The past few years had been hard for Ashleigh.  Reece and Sam had eventually had to let her go, as being a small business, they were unable to keep her job open for her as she spent time trying to come to terms with the horrible and untimely death of her mother.  She’d struggled for eighteen months plagued with visions of her mother lying there on the bed, undignified, dead.  And the guilt which had wrapped itself around her was suffocating too.  But finally, she’d agreed to have counselling, finding herself digging up everything about her past she’d tried hard to keep buried for years.

   Simone had been a tower of strength during the first couple of months but she knew as she watched Ashleigh slip away from her emotionally, expert help was necessary.  Unsure of where to go and if Ashleigh would accept help, she’d encouraged her to seek advice, firstly from her general practitioner’s surgery.  Now, eighteen months on, things were gradually looking up for her.  She was doing some temping work at a local agency.  It wasn’t what she wanted to do permanently but it helped to pay her rent. 

   Ashleigh popped in to see Reece and Sam at the café regularly.  They always welcomed her, gave her coffee and some cake on the house, something Ashleigh would always protest about, once again feeling like a charity case.

   The death of Linda had been front page news in the local newspaper.  Sam and Reece had first heard about the tragedy from Simone, although she hadn’t told it like it was.  She’d been very tactful and respectful about Linda, wanting to protect Ashleigh as much as she could.  The poor girl had had enough heartache in her life.  Sometimes, the truth would get twisted, making people develop vicious tongues.  Nothing was ever mentioned at the café by Sam or Reece about Linda’s troubled life, knowing that Ashleigh must have suffered tremendously.  Instead, they allowed her to enjoy her coffee during her visits without having to feel people were whispering about her, wishing they could do more for this vulnerable young woman.

   During the horrible time that Ashleigh had spent trying to come to terms with the death of her mother, she’d reverted back to going without makeup, refusing to wear any at all.  Even her growing hair had been restricted to a tight pony tail.  The funeral had been a quiet affair, seeing Ashleigh being accompanied by Simone; Reece and Sam standing quietly behind the scenes.  Lee had been told of his wife’s death but refused to waste any time on his piss head prostitute of a wife.  She’d been dead to him for years, he’d told the prison warden after hearing about what had happened to her.  The church near to where Ashleigh lived had helped pay for the plain coffin and simple funeral service.  Feeling in debt now to the church, Ashleigh had attended the services every Sunday since Linda’s funeral.  It was a Catholic church, a place which helped to take away some of the raw pain ingrained in Ashleigh’s heart. The confession box she’d walked passed every Sunday since that agonising day had intrigued yet frightened her.  So many times she’d wanted to go inside and talk to the priest, if only to unburden her guilt and troubles. It felt the only place she could go, knowing she wouldn’t be judged.  Nerves always won her over though.  She’d still never been inside.  Ashleigh would wake some evenings in a cold sweat, always having had the same dream.  She’d dream she’d confessed all of her sins to the unknown priest behind the metal grill, spilling out the guilt she felt she was drowning in daily because of what had happened to her mother.  But he wasn’t a priest at all, he was Satan himself who’d come to drag her to Hell.  She’d always wake up screaming at the same part, the part where his claw like hand had come through from the other side of the confession box, grabbing her throat.  Ashleigh had had this same dream on and off for a year now.  It bothered her to the point where she didn’t want to close her eyes at night.  The thought of sleeping with a man frightened her also.  What if she woke up with someone next to her and she’d been screaming again?  How would she explain her actions?  He’d no doubt think she was a raving loony and do a runner.  Her life sometimes felt more flawed now than ever before.

   Hot dates had been off the radar for Ashleigh all of her life.  Her self confidence had been starting to show itself just a little when she’d first met Simone but because of the trauma she’d suffered, the past few years had scared her more than ever.  Simone had never smoothed things over with the boyfriend she’d had when Ashleigh had arrived onto the scene but after taking a lengthy break from men so she could devote her time to Ashleigh, she’d recently met a nice guy called Neil.  He had a mate called Finn, who was twenty four, and was extremely keen to meet Ashleigh.  Simone was working on trying to arrange for them to meet but in view of Ashleigh’s fragile state, she didn’t want to mention it, knowing full well Ashleigh wouldn’t go out.  Simone didn’t want to have to explain to Finn beforehand about Ashleigh’s past but it was proving difficult trying to coax her out on a Friday or Saturday evening.

Simone pampered herself in her bedroom, allowing plenty of time for getting ready.  She was meeting Neil that evening.  Ashleigh was in her own bedroom listening to Simone’s soft voice singing.  She sounded happy, Ashleigh decided, guessing it was because of Neil.  Sometimes she wished she could be more like Simone, who seemed to enjoy life to the full, having no problems attracting men because of her warm and bubbly personality, her good looks and abundance of confidence. Sliding off her bed, she approached Simone’s door, knocked and waited until she heard her shout “come in”.  The smell of perfume hung in the air.  It felt so feminine to Ashleigh, such a different life to that of a few years ago.  Simone dried her hair carefully with the hair dryer, patting the chair at her side for Ashleigh to sit down.

   “You look nice Simone.”

   “Thank you.  I wasn’t sure if this colour would suit me.”  Simone wasn’t sure why Ashleigh had come into her room.  It wasn’t something she’d done before.  “What are you doing tonight then Ashleigh?”

   With a sigh she said, “I don’t know really.  Read a book I suppose.”

   “Or,” Simone began, “you could come out with me and Neil if you wanted.”

   With a look of horror on her face Ashleigh said, “What?  And play gooseberry all night?”

   “It wouldn’t be like that.  I’d like you to meet Neil and besides, it’ll do you good.”

   “I don’t know,” Ashleigh replied doubtfully.

   “Please Ashleigh.  You are a beautiful young woman, who should be going out meeting new people.”

   “I’m scared though.”

   “Why?”

   “What if someone starts to chat me up?”  To some people, this would have sounded a ridiculous statement but Simone knew the issue with men was a big deal to Ashleigh.  Turning off her hairdryer, Simone turned round to face her.

   “If someone comes over to you and starts talking and your first instinct tells you that this guy seems like a creep, just walk away.  But, if you think he could be alright, just talk back.  Be yourself.”

   “You make it sound so easy.”

   “That’s because it is.”  Simone could tell Ashleigh was pondering on her advice, feeling satisfied at how easy the subject had been brought up.  She’d been trying to encourage her to go out with her for quite some time now.  With an impish grin Simone said, “So, what are you going to wear?”

   “I haven’t said I’ll go yet.”

   “True, but you must admit you’re thinking about it aren’t you?”  Both girls laughed, Simone knowing that now she’d truly won.

   “Could I borrow some of your perfume if I come out?”

   “Anything you want.  Is that a yes then?” Simone pushed.

   “Alright,” Ashleigh confirmed.  With a squeal of excitement, Simone hugged her.

   “I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”

   “Thank you Simone.  I’d better get ready.” 

   Hurrying back to her room, Ashleigh began to rummage through her wardrobe.  Her selection of clothes was far better than ever before, thanks to the employment agency.  She didn’t really enjoy temping.  There wasn’t much stability and she always felt like the new girl.  But it paid well and she had been lucky getting work.

   Once Ashleigh had left Simone’s bedroom, Simone got to work on her mobile phone, thinking it about time Neil’s friend Finn was given the chance to meet Ashleigh.  Of course, Simone wouldn’t mention anything to Ashleigh that he was coming.  They’d pretend it was a chance meeting.  Laughing to herself for what she’d done, Simone carried on getting ready, hoping tonight would be a good night.

Simone was ready and waiting by the time Ashleigh was ready.  Any nerves she’d had about the effort Ashleigh would put into the evening quickly dissolved as she emerged from her room.  Dressed in a three quarter length black dress which showed just a hint of her small but firm bust, she looked stunning.  Simone was relieved and pleasantly surprised at her choice of clothes.  She’d finished off with some red chunky beads and bracelet and a pair of black shoes with a little heel.  Her hair had grown considerably since Simone had known her, training the ends of her bob to curl under perfectly.  The natural blonde highlights still complimented her hair and despite years of having a poor diet, it shone like golden fields on a summer’s day.  Not one for wearing a lot of makeup, she’d brushed a flick of mascara to her top lashes, highlighting her sparkling hazel eyes, and a soft pink lipstick lined her slender lips.

   “You look beautiful Ashleigh.” 

   Not used to such compliments, she dismissed Simone’s kind remarks.  “No I don’t.  I’m plain with a figure like a boy.” 

   Taking hold of her hands Simone said, “You have a figure to be envious of and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

   “Thank you.  You look really nice as well.” 

   Just as Simone put her key in the door to lock up, she stopped for a moment before speaking.

   “Please don’t take this the wrong way Ashleigh but you need to start believing in yourself a little.  You’re young, beautiful and there’s no one here anymore who will put you down.  Now is the time where you start to make up for everything you’ve lost or never had.”

   “I know, it’s just …”

   “What?”

   “It’s hard trying to forget everything, to forget what life was like and what’s happened.” 

   Putting a hand around her shoulders, Simone replied, “I can’t imagine the pain you’ve suffered but I’m sure in time, it will dissolve.  Maybe if you met someone who made you feel good about yourself could prove to be the one thing to help dissolve your bad memories.” 

   Shrugging her shoulders Ashleigh added, “I don’t think it’s going to be easy meeting someone.  I daren’t.  I just couldn’t ever let anyone get close to me.”

   “But why?”

   “What would I say about my mum and dad?” 

   Unsure of how she’d get around that problem herself, Simone thought carefully about her answer.

   “Getting to know someone is a gradual process.  You don’t have to tell them everything all at once.  As time goes on, you’ll eventually know if or when the time is right to confide in them.”

   “But what if I meet someone and they ask about my parents within the second week?” 

   Realising this must have been something Ashleigh had thought about at length, she did her best to reply.

   “Just tell him they moved abroad.”

   “You mean lie?”

   “If that’s the only way, then yes.  You could always confess all later.”

   “I suppose anything is better than the truth,” Ashleigh agreed.

   Without having a chance to say anything else on the matter, the taxi sounded its horn outside.

   “Our carriage awaits,” Simone said, opening the door.

   “I feel really nervous Simone.  I’ve never done this before.”

   “Relax, it’ll be fine.  Trust me.” 

   With a giggle, both girls left the house.  Ashleigh was so grateful for having Simone in her life.  She’d felt certain she’d have had some kind of breakdown if she hadn’t come into her life when she did.

   Simone led the way into the wine bar.  With its tall stools and expensive décor, it was a bar to make every girl feel special.  Ashleigh couldn’t believe its splendour.  It was the kind of place she’d only ever dreamed about going to.

   “Shall we buy rounds for now?” Simone enquired.

   “What’s that?”

   “It’s when you take it in turns to buy the drinks.”