Say You'll Never Love Me (8 page)

“Oh, I’m loving this. My straight laced uptight big bro has fallen into my old ways of juggling women. But I think you’ve surpassed anything I ever did. You’ve sent one away who loves you. Slept with one you hate, and this last part is the best. Let’s see what should I call you? Pastor of Disaster. Clergy of Catastrophe? Minister of Misfortune? Wait, I’ve got it. You’re hoping for some Divine intervention of the missionary kind.”

Getting to know someone is like investigating a crime scene

where the culprit is constantly allowed to rearrange the evidence.

~
Adnan Mithani

JOKING OR NOT,
Jace had a valid point. Jared might not be a saint, but he never lied. Until now. Julie. Beth. Both women brought out a dark side he didn’t know existed. Now that they were finally out of his life, the only thing left to fix was the situation with Raynie. He rehearsed his confession, but couldn’t come up with a good way to lead into it. He didn’t know her well enough to trust she’d find it funny or silly or devious. If only he’d corrected the mistake from the beginning.

In his favor, she had no friends in Lubbock, and he could give her that. Someone to confide in with no strings attached. So even though guilt ate at him, for now, the lie seemed harmless enough.

He arrived at the café early and claimed the same booth as the day before. When she walked in, his spirit lifted. Wearing a pair of ragged jeans and off–the-shoulder blouse, today, she’d committed to one hair style. A braid pulled to the side skimmed bare skin. The bounce in her step showed she was in a better mood.

“Hey, padre.”

“You’re happier today.”

“An old friend from home stopped by.”

Jared wanted to ask if the visitor was male or female, but figured it was none of his business, so he let it pass. He picked up the menu and peered over the top. “You look nice.”

“Thanks. You, too. What are you having?”

“Green chili cheese enchiladas.”

Like yesterday, bracelets circled both her wrists, and clanged as she gestured with her hands. “Ooh, those sound good. Would you mind if I had a margarita?”

“Not at all. I recommend the Prickly Pear. It’s delicious.”

The waitress stepped to the table and after taking their orders, retreated.

Jared focused on his lunch date again. “One day we should save room for a chocolate brownie sundae.”

“We could share one?”

His gaze drifted from green eyes hooded by long, thick lashes, to her full lips. She was so beautiful, he bet she’d broken more than her share of hearts. Delicate features contradicted her claim as a badass. He couldn’t imagine anyone so petite and fragile being tough. “I’m up for it if you are.”

“Okay. So what do we talk about today?”

There was so much he wanted know, so he dug deep for a question. “You mentioned two divorces. What happened? Unless the subject is off limits.”

“No. I don’t mind. In a nutshell, during college I fell in love for the first time. Got careless. Ended up pregnant. Ran off to Vegas.”

She paused, stared out the window, and Jared wondered what was going through her pretty head, but said nothing. Whatever she shared was her choice. His job was to listen.

She faced him again. “His parents weren’t happy about it. I’d never even met them and, he’d not mentioned me either. But I was carrying their grandchild, so I suppose they tolerated me. But then I lost the baby and everything changed.”

Her bottom lip quivered, and he feared she might cry, but she drew a breath, and pulled herself together. Thank God, because the only thing he could to do when women fell apart was hold them. She gave a stiff smile. “I didn’t know Bronson came from a rich family. I knew he wasn’t poor. I mean, he drove a sports car and had a platinum American Express card.” She giggled at her own sarcasm. “But when I saw the twenty-two room house, full-time servant and cook, I realized I was in deep shit. Oh, sorry.”

He ignored the apology and wondered if she’d do that every time she said a bad word. If she knew the truth, she’d be using some choice language toward him. “So they didn’t like you?”

“Understatement. His mother thought I’d found my ticket to an easy life and took advantage of her one and only.”

From the tone of her voice and expression, the memories must still hurt and that made Jared sad. It must be true what they say, a woman never forgets her first love. Because even though college had been years ago, the thought of Bronson still caused a reaction.

“After the miscarriage, she paid me a visit. Claimed I’d seen him as my opportunity to move from the
outhouse to the penthouse.
She offered me a check for twenty-five thousand dollars to go quietly.” She locked eyes with Jared. “You think I took it, don’t you?”

He wouldn’t blame her if she had, but he remained stone-faced. “I’m trying to decide what I’d do if someone waved that much cash in my face. That’s a hard call. Did her son know?”

“I was naïve enough to think it was a test to see if I loved Bronson or if she was right about me. I refused because I adored him. Turned out, I wasn’t on trial. I’d already been convicted. I thought he’d be appalled and defend me. Go to his mother and profess his undying devotion and tell her to stay out of our lives.”

The server delivered their orders and placed them on the table. “Y’all need anything else?”

Jared shook his head. “No, we’re good.”

She sashayed away, and he took a long pull from his Shiner Bock. “I take it that didn’t happen.”

Raynie whispered a laugh. “Bingo. He’d never loved me. Married me because of the baby. To ease my pain, he said to up my price, but she never went over fifty. That told me I wasn’t his first mistake. So, I accepted. Paid off school loans, put some in savings and opened my business. It’s funny, my best friend, Quinn, doesn’t even know the details of the break-up.”

Raynie twirled the umbrella in her drink, then sipped. “Then I met Rory. Handsome. Kind. Not rich. I fell hard for him and I thought he loved me, but on day forty-two of marriage, I caught him in bed with our next door neighbor.”

She stopped and sipped her margarita, then took her bottom lip between her teeth as if biting back tears. He understood her pain. He’d continued to love Julie long after she’d stopped loving him, but thank God, he finally got over it. The events of the last few days reinforced that.

Raynie shook her head as if to force the memories away. “Divorced twice in sixteen months must be some kind of record. Anyway, that made it clear I’m not wife or mother material and there’s no such thing as happily-ever-after. At least not for me. You think I’m a terrible person. Right?”

He swallowed a bite and swigged his beer again, stalling to choose the right answer. “What I think is a woman with money and power made you feel unworthy and because of your age and inexperience, you bought into it. Is that the reason you date bad boys? You think you don’t deserve a good man?”

“My choice in men simplifies things. They aren’t the kind to settle down, so there are no expectations. Truth is, I don’t want a man to say he loves me, because at some point, he won’t.”

Jared wanted to argue, but didn’t. No need to dwell on her past. He wasn’t here to change her. His self-imposed mission was to serve as a sounding board. Let her draw her own conclusions and work things out. But he hated she had such a low opinion of herself. “What type of business do you have?”

She forked some enchilada and held it in mid-air, a long string of cheese dangled from the tines. “Well, parson. This answer should get you going. I’m a tarot reader.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you probably think I’m engaged in witchcraft, but tarot marked the invention of trumps. Contrary to what some say, the church never objected. Even when they banned playing cards, they excluded tarot.”

He raised his hand. “Now who’s being preachy?”

“Sorry. I get a little touchy about it. If it’s used as a religion, yes, that makes it part of the occult. But you can put faith into all sorts of wrong things. Lottery tickets, TV evangelists, Oprah.” Raynie broke into laughter, then straightened and shoved the bite she’d been holding into her mouth.

He liked this feisty woman, and he couldn’t keep the truth from her. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

She scooted to the edge of the bench, laid her napkin on the table and flicked her finger at him. “Hold that thought. I’ve got to visit the ladies’ room.”

Thankful to be alone, he rehearsed.
You’ll find this funny. No. Too glib. What I’m about to say may upset you, but try to keep an open mind. Too suggestive. I made a stupid mistake and hope you forgive me. Better. Own the blame and ask for mercy.

A few minutes later, she slid back into the booth. “You still want to split dessert?”

“Sure. That’d be good, but first . . .”

Her phone chimed. She checked the screen. Worry lines formed on her forehead. “Sorry, it’s the school. I have to take this. Hello. Yes.” Her lips drew tight. “What? I’ll be right there.” In one quick motion, she shot straight up and clutched her chest. “Silbie’s in the principal’s office. She got into a fight.” Tears rimmed Raynie’s eyes.

He grabbed the lunch ticket. “I’ll take you.”

“No. That’s okay. Drop me off at my house.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “Please, let me help.”

For a second, he didn’t think she’d take him up on his offer, but she glanced at his hand still resting on bare skin. “All right. Boswell Elementary on Jefferson.” She sighed. “I’m no good at this.”

He gave her a little pat and slid his hand away although he wanted to keep it there. So much for confession 101. His sin would have to wait. He figured one crisis at a time might be all she could handle.

The first ten minutes of the drive, Raynie didn’t speak, and the silence drove Jared crazy. This was the perfect opportunity to make things right. No escape and she wouldn’t attack him while driving. He hoped. But, to tell her now would add to her problem. Better to wait. Besides, maybe the lie wouldn’t be a big deal to her. By her own admission, she preferred bad boys. She should be used to lies.

Jared couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “Silbie is an usual name. I like it.”

“It’s my mom’s maiden name. Thank heavens Celeste didn’t have a boy. If she had, she planned to name him Starr.”

Jared chuckled. He needed to keep the conversation going. “Fortune teller, huh? That wasn’t on my radar. With your creative hairdos and trendy style, I figured you owned a hair salon or dress shop.”

Eyes still watery, she faced him. “I have a storefront where I sell new age items. Incense, wind chimes, that sort of stuff. Most of my readings take place online, which is good. I can work from anywhere.”

“What’s the number one question?”

She sniffed and wiped her nose on a tissue she’d pulled from somewhere. “Love. You know. Are they cheating? Are they 
the one?
Can I trust them with my heart?”

If he kept her talking about work, there was a good chance she wouldn’t fall to pieces. She still looked like she might. “And you put their minds at ease?”

“Here’s the thing. You can give four readers the same spread and get a different interpretation from each one. Not to boast, but I’m pretty good at explaining the draws. However, sometimes, I’m surprised. Take my best friend, Quinn, for instance. I thought she and Dak were mismatched. But they’re so in love and happy, it’s scary considering the way they got together.”

His strategy worked. Her tears disappeared just in time. The school came into view. “What happened with them?”

“A story for another time. We’re here.”

He expected her to vault from the truck and sprint into the building eager to resolve the conflict, but instead, she pulled the band from her braid and shook the strands loose. Next, she unbuckled her seat belt, leaned forward and fluffed out the wavy locks until they reminded him of an electrified cartoon character.

From her purse, she removed two items, gazed into the visor mirror and used the pencil she’d retrieved to outline her eyes, and finished with mascara. She turned toward him and grinned. “How do I look?”

Damn. The badass had arrived. He wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say. Was she hoping to seduce the principal, or put a spell on him? Wild, wicked, wanton, sexy as hell came to mind. “Truthfully? Evil.”

She rubbed her lips together and smacked. “Perfect.”

She opened the door and stepped into the sunshine, her hair shining like golden spikes, and he lost his thoughts. God help the principal. Jared bounded out and rushed to catch up to her. “Do I need to go in with you, for support?”

“No. I’ve got this. Not my first time dealing with school trouble. I’m not afraid of him. Silbie is my main concern. I’m worried what I should say to her.”

“You’ll know.”

“You have a lot of faith, rev.”

“One of us has to.”

She marched to the entrance as if she owned the place which surprised him. This was a different Raynie than the scared, uncertain, weepy new mother from earlier. This was a woman on a mission. He dashed ahead of her, ushered her in and followed close behind. He didn’t want to miss a minute of what was about to happen. Not sure what that would be, but whatever it was, she had the upper hand.