Say You'll Never Love Me (30 page)

When she woke, shadows from the ceiling fan looked like birds circling overhead. She bolted upright. How’d she get here? Last thing she remembered was being at the movie. The digital clock said five. Too early to get up, but she had readings, so might as well make use of her insomnia. Then she noticed the note on her pillow.

Rosebud. I wanted to crawl in next to you and make good on those dirty texts, but decided that wouldn’t be a good idea with Silbie down the hall. I’ll make that happen later. J

She hated not hating him. Detested he could set her on fire with a glance or a pet name. Loathed that he knew it. Forcing one foot in front of the other, she dragged her tired body into the bathroom and started a shower, then checked her phone. Mr. Remmus’ guy was ready to meet. Raynie would need a sitter, but shouldn’t call at this hour. Not everyone in the world woke this early. Only geriatrics and sexually frustrated women.

After blow drying her hair, she gathered it to the top of her head and twisted the strands into a bun. Wouldn’t bother with makeup. Just moisturizer and lip gloss. Her changes needed to go deeper. Delve into organic. No more wild hairdos. Crazy colors. Tattoos. Nope. It was time for her to give in and become someone other than Raynebeaux Sunshine Starr.

Men are all alike except the one you’ve met who’s different.

~Mae West

DRESSED IN BLACK JEANS
and white tee shirt, nobody could find fault with such a classic garb. From now until Raynie’s court date, she’d fit in with the rest of the world. Society expected certain behavior from a woman in her thirties who had the responsibility of raising a child. It’d be different if she were Silbie’s mother, but replacements were held to a higher standard.

With the bun resting on top of her head like she’d just been crowned Miss Granny Texas, she must have looked frazzled because when the babysitter picked up Silbie, she extended their outing to include her niece’s birthday party. They’d be back home at eight.

Raynie stared into the mirror again. Yep. Weary with good reason. Determined to shake off the gloom and doom, she tramped into the kitchen to finish the bread she’d started earlier.

She’d never been a violent person, but damn if she didn’t want to sock the Collins in the face. Knock sense into them. They would not be better for Silbie. As grandparents they were great, but to raise a child at their ages was poor judgement. They didn’t have a clue what challenges faced kids today. The peer pressure. Bullying. Self-esteem. Drugs. The list was endless. And what about social media? She bet neither of them knew what a tweet was. Even if they understood, what about their energy level? Would they feel like attending all the school events ahead of them?

She removed the dough from the bowl, and plopped it onto the cutting board. The next step should help relieve some stress. She fisted her hand. Punch!
Grammy Collins.

Who was she kidding? They’d pay someone to take care of all those things. They’d send Silbie to private school and go on with their lives as before. No meals together.
Punch!
No help with homework.
Punch!
Only visit at holidays.
Punch! Punch!

She gathered the soft dough in her hands and hoped she’d not killed it. Dividing it into three equal portions, she rolled each into a rope, braided them, and put them in a loaf pan to rise again.

By the time Mr. Remmus knocked on the backdoor, the bread was in the oven. The mean S.O.B. wasn’t what she expected. She’d imagined a guy named Vinnie the size of a tree. Instead, Mr. R introduced Harold. Tall. Thin. Pasty. Like he’d been holed up in a cave waiting until the statute of limitations ran out on his last crime wave.

Once seated at the table, Harold pulled the documents from his pocket. “Allen tells me they sent pictures.”

“Yes, sir.” Raynie slid the stack toward him and he flipped through them.

He narrowed a laser sharp gaze. “I need to ask some personal questions, but don’t take them personally. Understand?”

She nodded.

“You ever have sex here with any of these guys while the kid was home?”

“No. I’ve never . . .”

He held up his hand. “Don’t need details. You charge any of them?”

“No!”

“Good. Now, the way I see it, the plaintiffs want one main thing.”

“Yeah. Silbie.”

“Not so much. They want her to remain in Lubbock. They have it written in the complaint. You can’t leave until this is settled, so that’s your bargaining chip. Agree to stay with unlimited visitation, and the lawsuit probably goes away.”

“So they’re basically blackmailing me. I get to keep her if I do what they say. Suppose I agree, but later change my mind. What then? Another lawsuit? Or is that in the original document? Do they have limits on everything I do until she graduates?”

“No guarantee. They can step in anytime and bring another suit.”

Raynie ran a hand over her face. “This is unreal. They’ll be watching me. Gathering information. Every man I meet. Every date I have. Every move I make. In case they need it. I can’t live that way. I have to fight it and hope for the best.”

Mr. Remmus patted her arm. “Harold has a plan. He needed to be sure about what you wanted. And now that he knows, he can fix this.”

“You can?”

“I’m already digging into their finances. I understand they’re out of the country. Is that right?”

“Yes. Due to return next week.”

“Okay. When they get home, they’ll want to see the girl. Let them and don’t even bring up the lawsuit. Once I’m done, you’ll know everything from how much money they have in their accounts to what medications they take. We’ll find some leverage.”

The two men left the same way they came in and Raynie felt better in spite of the litigation, but wished she could be as positive as Harold. Trusting him was the best she could do.

Back in the kitchen, she removed the bread from the oven and placed it on the cooling rack. Now what? Caught up with her readings and hours before Silbie returned, she should watch a movie. Or better yet, go to a theater. Or shopping. Before she decided, the doorbell rang. Peering through the peephole, Jared stood on the porch. Her heart quickened. She yanked the door open. “Hey. What are you doing?”

“Wanted to check on you. You feeling better?” He eyed her from head to toe.

Raynie understood his scrutiny. Her new image probably puzzled him. “Yeah. I’m back to normal. Whatever that is.”

“Good. Then how about I take you and Silbie for ice cream.”

“She’s not here. Gone to the movie.”

He glanced around the room, then his eyes settled on her hair. “So, you’re here alone?”

“Ye—es. Why?”

He stepped inside, kicked the door closed, and grabbed her. He covered her mouth, twirled her around and backed her to the wall. The movement so quick, she had no time to resist. Not that she wanted to. She couldn’t think of anything but his tongue and what it was doing. When he finally let her come up for air, she sucked in a breath and released it in a slow steady stream. He only gave her a second to recover and claimed her again. This time, she clutched his shirt to pull him closer.

He deepened the kiss and his hands were everywhere. Up her shirt. Cupping her ass. Undoing her bun. He moved away and whispered against her cheek. “Please never wear your hair like this again.”

“I’m reinventing myself.”

“Into what? A Pilgrim?”

Raynie stiffened. “We shouldn’t do this. It’ll be more ammunition for the Collins.”

“Silbie’s not here. They can’t dictate what you do when she’s gone.”

“Oh really? According to the lawsuit, they can. So you should leave.”

“You sure?” He pressed his mouth to her ear. “Because I plan to bury my. . . .”

“Oh God.” She heaved the words out.

“After that, I’m going to take my tongue and . . .”

This time she couldn’t form a word, only moan at his promise.

“Come on.” He led the way to her room. Stopped at the edge of the bed. Kissed her. Long, slow, sweet, and her heart raced. “You drive me crazy.” He guided her hand south.

God, he was hard. Stone hard. She unbuttoned his jeans, slid his zipper down, and wrapped her fingers around the length of him.

He kissed her again, tangling his tongue with hers, and she stroked him, slow and smooth.

Blood heated. Pulse pounded. Heart raced. No need to be shy. Using her free hand, she tugged his Levi’s, inched them down little by little and then eased him out of his boxers, all the while still stroking him with a steady rhythm.

He pulled her hand free. “I want to come inside you and if you keep doing that, I won’t last long enough.”

She didn’t wait for him to help, she removed shoes, jeans, shirt, and stood before him in lace panties and bra. While she’d gotten naked, he’d done the same. She stepped back to gaze at him. Broad shoulders, taut skin, flat belly, and penis jutting out like pointing the way to the Promise Land. An unbearable ache only he could relieve settled between her legs.

HE REACHED OUT
and folded her into his chest, slid his hands up her back and released the hooks on her bra. She edged away enough to let the pink lace fall to the floor. He gazed down at her. She had beautiful tits. Rosy nipples stiffened into sharp points begging to be licked. He lowered his head, covered one sweet peak with his lips.

She whispered his name. He moved to the other side and it must have been what she wanted because she raked fingers through his hair and held him in place. She loosened her hold ready for the next step and he was happy to oblige. He slipped his hands to caress her lace covered ass. The last barrier between him and what he wanted. Or—what they both wanted.

Apparently, he wasn’t moving fast enough, because she hooked her thumbs in the waist of the bikinis and shimmed out of them. Now it was his turn to get a good look at her and she exceeded every fantasy he’d had, and God knew he’d had plenty. He’d dreamed of her naked. Especially after her office visit.

She turned her back to him and that’s when he saw the floral tattoo running the full length of her spine. Damn. He lifted her hair and kissed the ink from neck to waist. She shivered against him. Then she walked to the bed taking him with her. When she reached the edge, she sat, and he stood between her widespread legs. She clutched his shaft again, licked the tip, and he thought he’d come undone. If she took him into her mouth, he wouldn’t be able to keep control, and he wanted to pleasure her first. Gently pushing her down on the mattress, he knelt between her knees, worked his lips up her thigh. She whimpered. He stopped, blew a hot, steady breath from one side to the other, then looped her legs over his shoulders. “I think it’s time I earned the right to call you Rosebud, don’t you?”

She clutched the comforter with both hands. “Yes.”

He planted his face between her legs. Stroked her with his tongue. She moved against him and before he got the chance to show her his vast skills, she arched and writhed with an orgasm. When the siege ended, she scooted back giving him room to crawl on top.

He hovered above her and couldn’t help but smile when she put the head of his penis against 
the
rosebud
and began to rub. Slowly at first, then faster. Her lips parted as breath came in gasps.
Damn, she’s going to climax again.
When it happened, she shoved his cock deep inside her. Slick and hot, she convulsed around him as if to wring him dry. Every inch of his flesh caught fire. Stomach clenched into a knot. Balls drew tight and high.

She placed a hand on his cheek. “You’ve got to promise me something.”

He stared into her beautiful face and would vow anything because nothing felt better than being inside her.

“This is just sex. Nothing more. Say you’ll never love me.”

The words stabbed his heart like a saber. That was the only thing he couldn’t do. He didn’t know when it had happened, but he already loved her. So much so, when he was with her, he couldn’t breathe.

He went still. Withdrew. “You picked a hell of a time to make demands.” He rolled off her.

“You can’t have feelings for me, Jared. That won’t change anything. I’m still leaving.” She covered herself with the comforter. “My life is already complicated. Don’t make it worse.”