Say You'll Never Love Me (17 page)

Raynie broke free and rolled off a long piece of toilet paper, then blew her nose. “What were the alternatives? Live with you at a nudist camp, or with Dad while he grows medicinal marijuana? And you know how Celeste felt about Evan’s parents. They’re so hoity-toity, Silbie would be a spoiled brat.”

“Well, tonight, go with your
friend
and enjoy yourself. Stay out as late as you like. And if the situation presents itself, don’t come home at all.”

“Mom! Not happening. He doesn’t think of me that way.”

“He’s not Catholic, is he?”

“No. Episcopalian.”

“Then take my word, he thinks of you in that way.”

Raynie stared into the mirror. “My face is a mess. My nose is stopped up.” She tried to take air through her nostrils and made a wheezing sound. “Oh yeah, that’s attractive. Thanks for making me ugly cry.”

Mom wiped Raynie’s tears. “Don’t be silly. You’re beautiful.” She kissed the top of her head, then disappeared from view.

Raynie finished repairing her makeup. If she believed what she said about no love connection between herself and Jared, then why did she care how she looked? She didn’t know the answer to that. Couldn’t deny she’d like to get him naked and have her way with him, but he wasn’t the king of man to have a casual fling.

The doorbell rang and Silbie’s excitement floated through the house. “Father Jared! Come watch me do my flips!”

Raynie rushed to save him, but it was too late. He’d already stepped onto the back porch. She joined Mom at the window.

Her mother leaned close. “You’re right. He is good with her.”

Heat crawled up Raynie’s neck. “Yeah. I’ve made a mistake by letting them get close.”
And me, too.

Silbie finished the routine and took a bow, then ran into his arms.

Raynie’s face burned hotter and more tears threatened. Today, emotions simmered under her skin and the least thing set them off. She opened the back door. “That was great, Sil!”

Jared turned to face her and smiled. “Yeah, I think she’ll be the star of the show.”

He leaned over for Silbie to put her feet on the ground, then walked up the steps and eyed Raynie from head to toe, which ignited another slow burn. She took a step back for him to pass, and the fire kicked up a notch, as his scent assaulted her. Earthy, subtle, and all man.

He re-tucked the black Henley tee hugging his chest. “You ready to go?”

Her mouth went dry.

Mom handed Raynie her purse. “Have a good time. Silbie and I are going to eat pizza and play Old Maid.”

Outside, a cool breeze stroked Raynie’s skin, and she dragged fresh air into her lungs. Jared held open the car door. When he slid into his seat, he glanced at her. “So where to? Somewhere for drinks, or a place we can dance?”

Nothing sounded better than swaying against him to a slow beat. A bead of sweat popped above her lip. Holy crap. Body contact might not be a good idea considering her emotional state. “Either is fine.”

He flashed a grin full of temptation and her toes curled. The man would schedule an all-night prayer vigil if he knew how he affected her. But she wasn’t sure even group supplication would cure her lust.

“Dancing it is.” He stopped at a red light.

Across the street at Dave’s Deli, large urns of orange and gold marigolds caught Raynie’s attention. “You should send your mom flowers. I know you’re set on the curling iron, but most women love a pretty bouquet.”

He grinned. She wished he’d stop doing that, because those blue eyes were causing her lady parts to dance early.

“You say that like you
don’t
like them. I would have guessed roses for your favorite.”

“Never given it much thought. The only time I ever got any was from my next door neighbor when I was thirteen. He brought me a clump of bitter weeds.”

He laughed, a low rumble from deep in his chest which evoked all sorts of images involving the removal of clothing.

“As a joke?”

“No. He liked me. I thought it was sweet.”

“Well, I took to heart what you said about how much time Mom has given me. So, I decided on a watch. I’m thinking something with diamonds.”

“Good job, padre. There’s hope for you yet.” Why did she still want to cry? Here she was with the nicest guy in the universe on her way to a fun-filled evening, and a dam was about to burst.

He must have sensed the anxiety because he reached for her hand and held it. “What’s wrong? You seem sad.”

Damn him. With one touch, the barrier cracked and tears exploded. “Mom’s getting married.” Raynie pulled her hand free and waved it in the air. “Silbie needs a leotard and a new dress.” Unable to take a full breath, she hiccupped the words. “I got a note from the school . . . about making cookies for the dance . . . I only do slice and bake . . . but Silbie says they have to be homemade.” Part of her brain said shut up, but the other side told her to get it all out. Her head spun. “Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m about to start my period, so I’m a nut job right now.” Her eyes went wide. “Oh God. Did I say that out loud? I am so sorry.”

Jared swung the car to the side of the road and stopped.

Raynie buried her face in her hands and cried so hard her body shook. She hated herself for doing it, but couldn’t stop.

“You’re still grieving.” He removed his seat belt and slid an arm around her shoulders. “It’s good to cry. Natural. Healthy.”

She sobbed harder and punctuated the air with her finger. “This is not me. I’m tough. A rebel. A troublemaker. A badass. But today I keep falling apart. Why are you wasting your time with me?”

“I’m not.”

She shrugged away. “Don’t look at me. I have the ugly cry face.”

“Raynie, nothing can make you ugly. And just so you know, I bake a mean chocolate chip cookie.”

“I don’t like chocolate chip.”

“What? That’s grounds for ending this friendship, but since you’ve shared your cycle with me, I feel like we’ve bonded on a deeper level.”

That got a laugh from her. “I’m sorry.”

He buckled again and pulled back onto the road. “How about we skip the bar and go to my place? I have wine and music. We’ll watch a movie, and I’ll explain how a recipe works.”

Her pulse hammered. Her body hummed. Desire curled in the pit of her stomach and lower. She should say no, but the word caught in her throat.

“You okay? You’re a little pale.”

A dozen possibilities crowded her brain with him naked in all of them. No denying it. She was in lust with Preacher Man, and it had to stop. She’d keep the weekend date, and see him at the talent show, and let him take Silbie to the Father-Daughter Dance. But after tonight, no more counseling, texts or fantasies about him in the buff
. Yeah, well two out of three ain’t bad.

ONCE IN JARED’S APARTMENT,
he turned on soft music, and took wine glasses from the cupboard while Raynie studied framed photos on the desk.

She smiled at him, then pointed to the pill player. “Is that Eva Cassidy?”

“Yeah. Why? You don’t like her?”

“No, I love her. Just shocked you even know who she is. You keep surprising me.”

“I heard one of her songs over the speakers in a store. Used my
SoundHound
app to find out who sang the tune. Became a fan.”

“Dang, is anybody in your family unattractive?”

He glanced her way, and she held up a picture of Jace, Maggie and the twins. “Thanks.”

She hoisted another one in the air. “You played baseball?”

“Yep. Some of my best memories.”

“What happened to your bother?”

Jared held up two bottles. “Car wreck. White or red?”

“White, please.”

He uncorked the bottle and poured.

Raynie joined him. “Please tell me it wasn’t an accident where you were driving and walked away unscathed, and that’s why you became a minister.”

“Nope, not a word of that is true. He was alone. Drunk driver ran a light.”

“Must have been recent if those girls are his.”

He pushed the glass toward her. “Maggie was already pregnant. It was tough on us, but now it’s all good.”

Raynie sipped. “Last time I was here, I didn’t scope your place out. It’s nice. You have good taste.”

“Mom helped decorate. Lately, I’ve been thinking about buying a house.”

“I have one for sale.”

He ignored the remark. Didn’t want to think about her leaving or it’d spoil his good mood. “Have you eaten? I’d planned for us to get something, but since we ended up here, I don’t have much to offer.”

Raynie moved to the fridge and looked inside. “I can make us pimento cheese sandwiches.”

He chuckled. “I thought you said you didn’t cook.”

She cut her eyes toward him. “I don’t. But I can use a toaster.”

“Sounds good.”

Fifteen minutes later, he sat across from her at the dining table and swallowed another bite. “This is unusual and delicious. Lettuce, tomato, and dill pickles. Fantastic.”

“Mom’s favorite standby.”

He pushed his chair away. “Speaking of recipes.” He strolled to the counter, opened a drawer and removed a small book. “Cooking lesson or movie?”

“Movie.”

The sweet musical arrangement of
You Don’t Know Me
floated on the air. Jared clutched Raynie’s arm and spun her around. “I promised you dancing.”

She stiffened a little, then went all loose and warm, and felt so damn good he wished she could stay there forever.

As if reading his mind, she shivered, and he pulled her closer. For a second, she rested her head on his chest, then pushed back to look at him. “We should check the TV guide.”

He placed his fingers under her chin, tilted it up, and leaned close to take her mouth. At first she didn’t move, but then shifted away, and rushed to the sofa. “Where’s the remote?”

He should kick himself for making a move on her, but he couldn’t help it. He had feelings for her, and when she trembled in his arms that told him he affected her, too. Something was happening between them, and he couldn’t risk losing it, so there would be no confession. Not yet.

Real men bake cookies.

~Unknown

I
T TOOK EVERY OUNCE
of willpower Raynie could muster to pull away from Jared. Mom was right. Raynie saw it in his eyes. Desire. She’d been with enough men to recognize longing. And coming from him that scared the crap out of her. He could already steal her breath with a glance. If he kissed her, he’d take her heart, too. She couldn’t let that happen. Her earlier decision was best. Cut him out of her life.

“You don’t have to sit all the way across the room.”

She’d deliberately chosen a chair instead of the sofa. Because if he came close to another lip lock, she might cave and that would be a disaster. One smooch wouldn’t be enough. Who was she kidding? A million wouldn’t be.

“I’m fine.”

He patted the area next to him. “Oh, come on.”

She let the invitation roll around in her brain for a second, then joined him. No need to make him mad. For all he’d done, he probably figured she owed him a kiss or two. No. He’d never expect that. What he did was out of the goodness of his heart because he was a decent man.

“I apologize for being such a blubbering idiot earlier. I get overwhelmed sometimes. For Silbie’s sake, I try to keep it together but now and then I can’t.”

He took her hand, and she let him, but shouldn’t have because he gave her fingers a squeeze, ran his thumb over her knuckles, and she caught fire.

His pupils darkened with a hint of disappointment when she pulled her hand free. “So what are we watching?” Better to ignore whatever was happening between them, and something was for sure. A crackle of electricity strong enough to cause a city-wide blackout. Damn, that’s all she needed, no power and nothing to do but him. God help her.

He palmed the remote. “Let’s see. How about The Sixth Sense, my first date movie after I got my license.”

She jerked her head toward him. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-two. Why? How old are you?”

“Older than that.”

“How much?”

Okay, so she was only four years older. That did not put her in the department with Mom. Raynie was pretty sure the only four rule had to do with cats. Must have four to be considered an old cat-lady and ten was the magic number for cougar status. “Maybe we should consider something more recent.”