Say You Want Me (31 page)

“How long do you plan to make him suffer?”

“I think he can wait it out a bit more.”

She nods. “Definitely make him feel the pain for a bit longer, just don’t let it go on too long or one of your employees will scoop him up and ride off on that horse of his into the sunset.”

Yeah, that’s definitely not going to happen.

They continue to talk and my phone rings. “Hey, Mrs. Kannan.”

“Hi, sugar. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

I walk away from the window and head toward the back of the store. “Of course not. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m just fine. I got that fancy coffee maker and I can’t figure out how to turn the dang thing on! It’s got so many buttons and different spouts. What ever happened to a good ole cup of Folgers?”

I can’t stop the smile that forms. I can picture her tossing her hands in the air as she walks around. I miss her something fierce. I miss them all.

“I’m sure it came with a manual.”

“Sugar, that book was a hundred pages long. I’ll be dead before I figure out how to actually make a mocha whatever it is you call it.”

“Macchiato.”

“Whatever,” she says with exasperation, and I giggle.

“Don’t you laugh at me now. I’m going to need you to get your tiny butt back here and teach me how to use this contraption.”

“I wish it were that simple.” It could be, but I feel as if I’d be giving in too easily. I have no doubt that she knows he’s here. If his mother knows, she knows. And my intuition tells me there’s more to this phone call than the machine, but I can’t be sure.

Mrs. Kannan is known for her interfering. If I let my guard drop even a millimeter, she’ll pounce.

A long pause goes by before she says anything. “I’ve been around a long time, honey. Long enough to know when two people are bein’ just plain stupid. Forgiving someone isn’t a surrender, it’s a gift. One that not only saves the other person, but also yourself. I could sit here and lead you around in circles.” She sighs. “But I won’t this time. Not for something so important. Wyatt screwed up. Lord knows that. He knows that more than anyone. I don’t know that I have ever seen him as devastated as I did the day you left.”

“Mrs.—” I start.

“Listen, darlin’. I’ve been married a long time, and more than once, one of us was ready to walk out that door. It was a choice to forgive the other person for whatever hurtful things we said or did. I could’ve left him. Hell, I probably should’ve.” She laughs. “I just know that no matter how bleak a situation looks, it doesn’t mean that y’all can’t find your way back to each other.”

“And what if we’re too lost? What if I’m too scared and hurt to trust him again?”

“We’re not perfect people, honey. We’re human and we make mistakes. He’s owning that right now. He’s showing you who he is and what’s in his heart.”

I thought I knew what was in his heart. I thought it was me. Then our life went down a very different path, and we ended up with a fissure dividing the road with him on one side and me on the other. Grief drove us apart. It didn’t have to, though. We each made choices that brought us to this juncture.

“I love him,” I admit. “I never stopped loving him, but he hurt me so much.”

“Love is the strongest and most beautiful thing we can bestow on another person. Have mercy in your heart, Angie. Be gracious enough to see that he wasn’t hurting you because he didn’t love you, sugar. He was hurting himself because he didn’t think he was worthy of your love. You think about that, and we’ll talk soon. Take care now.” She disconnects before I can say another word.

I walk to the window and look at him. Are we being stupid or do we have the ability to find a way back to what we were?

After my call with Mrs. Kannan, I start seeing things in a new light. Each time Wyatt talks to me, I try to really hear him and not just listen to the words.

We have dinner together, and then he kisses me on the cheek and goes back to his apartment. I can’t stop thinking about what she said. Thinking about how I can find a way to fully forgive him.

I’m getting ready for bed when my phone dings.

Wyatt: Can I borrow some salt?

I look at the text, unsure if I should respond. But I lean back against the headboard, which is against the wall that touches his apartment. He’s right there on the other side. It’s crazy that right now he’s this close and yet he’s so far.

Me: I think you’re supposed to ask for sugar.

Wyatt: Then let me borrow some of that, too.

He’s a mess. A very cute mess. I talked to Presley today, and she told me about their talk. I was surprised she went off, but she also said she’d never seen him like that. I feel like I’m not only resisting Wyatt, I’m resisting the entire town of Bell Buckle.

Me: It’s late.

Wyatt: It is, but I really need that salt.

Me: What the hell do you need salt for at eleven o’clock at night?

Wyatt: I’m making something.

This could go on forever, but I’m actually having fun. Talking to him like this reminds me of our time together. The bickering, the back and forth, it made us who we were.

Me: I’m all out of salt.

Wyatt: Then I have to ask you something about my jackass brother and Presley’s wedding. I figure since we’re both going, maybe we should make arrangements.

Me: The wedding is in a few months. You’ll be gone by then.

Wyatt: Not unless you’re going with me.

Me: You’re not going to stop this until you see me tonight, are you?

Wyatt: Not likely.

I figured as much. I have to give him credit for persistence.

Me: You’re a pain in my ass.

Wyatt: Open the door, baby.

I stare at the screen for a minute. My legs don’t seem to move. I can’t explain it, but I feel like opening or not opening this door is a decision about something that I won’t be able to undo.

I thought maybe he’d have left by now, but each day he materializes, stays all afternoon, and then finds a way to see me later. He hasn’t pushed me other than by seeing me everywhere. And in the last eight days, I’ve been smiling. I haven’t cried, and I’ve had a sense of calm.

Damn it.

Here goes nothing.

I open the door, and Wyatt is already standing there in a pair of basketball shorts and no shirt. My mind has trouble firing any thoughts about resisting as I stare at him. His muscles are taut, his chest broad, and now there’s something even sexier on his body. Wyatt got a massive tattoo on his arm.

“You going to invite me in?” he asks after a few seconds of me just looking at him.

“Your arm.” My fingers touch his skin as I trace the patterns. There are a bunch of intricate and thick tribal shapes. It wraps around his entire bicep, only breaking for Chinese lettering that cuts down the middle. “When did you—” I start to ask, but the look in his eyes stops me.

“That’s the first time you’ve touched me like that.”

My lips part. “Like what?”

“Like it wasn’t a choice or a thought.”

I decide not to comment on it. I’m sure I’ll get back to that at some point. Instead, I continue to explore his ink. “What does this mean?” I ask, letting my fingers graze over the words.

“It means: together through thick and thin.”

My eyes meet his and both our breathing quickens a bit. “Why?”

“Because when I lost you, I realized a lot about myself. I realized that no matter what, I wanted to be with you. We lost something that was so precious to us that the thick got too hard, but we’re stronger than that. I know we are. I’ll never hurt you like that again. I want to be with you through it all.”

Tears fall as I listen to him speak.

“I don’t want to make you cry.” He wipes away the drops that fall. “I want to be the reason you smile again. When you were gone, I was broken, Angie. I was lost, hurt, and a fuckin’ mess. It wasn’t until I decided that I didn’t care where I lived, so long as we were together, I would be happy. I wasn’t joking when I said that you’re my home.”

Then, from the ashes of my previously shattered heart, the pieces come back to life. All of the hurt and anger fade away. I feel the honesty in his words, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that what he says is true. I wipe my cheek, step closer to him, and cup his face. “I want you to take me home, Wyatt.”

“Home?”

My heart has only ever been one man’s—his. I’ve spent my entire life waiting for him, and I won’t let him go. He’s right, we’ve had our thick, and while we may not have navigated the fog the best way, we’re here now. I have to believe that even though we faltered, we didn’t fail. Loving Wyatt has shown me that it’s not a weakness to love someone. It isn’t always easy, but nothing worth a damn ever is. I walked away from him because it was up to him to start fighting. And he did.

He fought for me.

He loves me.

I love him.

I don’t want to wait anymore to be with him. I know he’s my forever love. “You’re the only home I’ve ever known. I love you.”

Wyatt

“I
LOVE YOU, ANGIE.” I
say it again, hoping she hears me. I should’ve done so many things differently, but I can’t lose her again.

Angie looks up with her bright blue eyes swimming with emotions. “I love you, too.”

Now it’s my turn to be stunned.

“I’m pretty sure I was falling in love with you the first night we laid in bed and talked. Or maybe it was the morning we were all tangled up and you didn’t try anything. It could’ve been when you made me my favorite coffee, which was really sweet. Maybe it was even before that when you went stupid and told me I was moving to Bell Buckle and marrying your crazy ass. I don’t really know if I can pinpoint it exactly, but I know that there hasn’t been a moment that I’ve wanted to be anywhere but where you are. When you let me walk away, I couldn’t breathe, Wyatt. I fought myself from calling you or driving back there to make you see how wrong you were.” I watch as her face softens. “I never loved you because we were having a baby. I love you because you’re my other half.”

My arms wrap around her as I hold her close. We stand in the living room of her apartment as it hits me. “You forgive me?”

She nods.

“You want me?”

She nods again. “You would stay here if I asked you?”

“On one condition.” I grin.

“What’s that?”

“I move in here. No more being apart.”

Angie’s eyes brighten. “I missed you.” Her hands glide up my arms and hook around my neck. “I missed this.” Her lips press against mine, and she moves back before I can keep her there.

Since she took her mouth away from me, I brush my thumb across her lips, watching as her eyes close and a shiver travels through her body. “Are you sure? Because I can’t lose you again.”

“I’m sure. I tried to imagine it.”

“Imagine what?”

“Watching you walk away again. I tried to picture my life without you. These last three weeks were horrific.” Angie’s voice trembles. “I couldn’t do it again. I
can’t
leave you. Not when I feel like this. Not when it
hurts
. Everything inside me hurt.”

“You love me.” I say the words as a statement.

“Do you love me, Wyatt? Do you really love me? Do you love me enough to never hurt me like that again? I need to know you’ll be here for me.”

She’s so strong most of the time, but she lets me see her insecurities. Angie plays the tough girl, but I get the real her. I know her family crap and how she worries that she’s not worth it. Her mother and brothers have done a real number on her, and I want to take that pain away and show her that she’s worth everything I have.

I would never forsake that.

“I truly, honestly, and deeply love you.” The words are straight from my heart. “I want to make you happy and prove that I’m the man you fell in love with.”

The problem was I thought that guy died in that car wreck, too. She knew the real me was in there, hell, everyone but me did. I was so wrapped up in my own head, I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t sleep because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her go unconscious. I couldn’t go to the fishing hole because I had to walk past my baby. The one that I held. That I loved. That I lost.

It took my losing her and some very, very angry words from Presley to make me see that the only thing that was my fault was letting her walk away.