Say You Love Me (34 page)

“Won’t hurt us a’tall, Regan,” James agreed, and for once his brothers didn’t jump immediately down his throat for using the pet name he had for Regina. “Kelsey is the one who won’t be able to overcome that sort of scandal, and neither will Derek. Society will shun them both. In my case—and Tony’s, for that matter—we did the shunning, so it didn’t bloody well matter to us whether we were accepted or not. But Derek don’t feel that way. He’s a social creature, always has been. And if Kelsey cares anything at all for the lad, she won’t take that away from him.”

“Quite a mouthful there yourself, brother.” Anthony chuckled, to which James merely shrugged.

But Reggie sighed. Derek hadn’t mentioned that Kelsey had refused him, so she couldn’t introduce that fact either. And the whole argument was pointless anyway, since Kelsey
wasn’t
going to marry him.

So she defused the subject by pointing out, “I believe Derek said he
wanted
to marry Kelsey, not that she had agreed to marry him. She could well refuse him, and that would be the end of that.”

“Refuse Derek, prime catch that he is?” Edward snorted. “Don’t see that happening, ’deed I don’t.”

“It’s possible, Uncle Edward,” Reggie replied. “You haven’t met her, but she strikes me as a very sensitive sort, and not at all grasping. I’d wager that she’d rather leave Derek than cause him any harm. And she’d consider his social ruin as harm.”

49

When Kelsey opened the door to her room at the inn
,
she was expecting Derek, not his father. And it was definitely his father. Jason Malory introduced himself immediately, leaving no doubt who he was, not that she’d had any. He also marched right into the room without an invite. But he so intimidated Kelsey with his formidable size and his harsh expression that she wasn’t about to point that out.

She was quick to say, “Derek isn’t here,” hoping that would send him on his way.

It didn’t. And she was so flustered by his presence that she only realized after the fact that she shouldn’t have volunteered that information. But obviously he knew.

“Yes, I just left him at Haverston,” he said. “Figured you’d be nearby, with him as smitten as he is and this the closest inn.”

She was already blushing as she asked, “Then it’s me you wish to see?”

“Indeed,” he said. “I want to hear what you think of this nonsense.”

“Ah, which nonsense would that be?”

“Derek wanting to marry you.”

Kelsey gasped. “He
told
you that?”

“He told the whole family that.”

Kelsey grasped the nearest chair and worked her way into the seat. Could she expire of shame? It certainly felt as if she could.

“He shouldn’t have done that,” she said in almost a whisper.

“I agree—but why do you think so?”

“Because, as you say, it is nonsense. I have no intention of marrying him. I told him so.”

“Yes, he mentioned that, too. My concern is, how serious are you in your refusal? Because he isn’t going to give up the notion.”

“If that is all that worries you, Lord Malory, you needn’t let it. I am aware of the scandal that marriage would cause, and it’s not only Derek I wish to protect from that but my family as well.”

“Your family?” He frowned. “I wasn’t aware that you had any family. Who are they?”

“That isn’t important,” Kelsey told him. “It is enough for you to know that my family means everything to me. I am in this position because—well, that isn’t important either, but I knew when I did what I did that I would never be able to marry. Suffice it to say, a scandal of this sort would harm my family as much as it would yours, and I have no intention of letting that happen.”

Jason’s expression relaxed considerably. He even looked somewhat embarrassed himself.

“I begin to understand,” he said gruffly.
“I’m sorry there is no solution to this matter. I have a feeling you would have made Derek an excellent wife, if it were possible for him to marry you.”

“Thank you. But I will endeavor to make him happy—without marriage.”

Jason sighed. “I never would have wished my own situation on my son—but I’m glad he has you.”

That was the nicest compliment she could have had from him. He didn’t stay to embarrass either of them with further sentiments. He rushed off, actually, probably because he didn’t want to run into Derek. But she figured that Derek already knew, that he must have seen his father in the hall, when another knock came only minutes after Jason had left.

But again, it wasn’t Derek standing there, nor had Jason decided he had more to say to her. This time it was Derek’s mother. But Kelsey didn’t realize that at first, not until she had a chance to note how identical a few of their expressions were, how they had the same smile, and how worried the woman was.

“I’m sorry to disturb you at this late hour, Miss Langton,” the woman began.

“Do I know you?”

“No, there’s no reason why you should.” The woman smiled. “I’m Molly Fletcher, the housekeeper at Haverston. I’ve only just found out about you, and Derek’s just found out about his father and me—and, well, I need to talk to him.”

Kelsey was blushing again, furiously. De
rek’s damned announcement had obviously traveled through the servants’ quarters already, but…

“You and his father?” The answer came to Kelsey before she got the question out. “Oh! I’m sorry. No need to explain. But Derek isn’t here.”

“He’s not? I saw him leave Haverston. I thought surely he was coming to you.”

“And you assumed I was nearby.”

“Why, yes, I did.”

Kelsey shook her head in amazement. Did all men travel with their mistresses? Or was that just standard practice for the Malorys?

“Well, if he’s not at Haverston, I have no idea where he is.”

“Then he’s gone off to be alone,” Molly said, wringing her hands. “I was afraid of this. It’s what he always did as a child when he was upset. He’d go off alone to brood.”

“But why would he be upset?” Kelsey asked. “He’s been mad with curiosity lately to find out who you were, that is to say, who his father’s—well, I would imagine he’s relieved to finally know.”

“He wasn’t supposed to know, Miss Langton. He wasn’t supposed to ever find out. But since he has, well, I don’t want him to think badly of me.”

Kelsey frowned, not quite understanding the woman’s concern. “That would be a bit hypocritical of him, don’t you think?”

“Not necessarily,” Molly replied. “There are other factors—but it’s not important. I’ll wait
and speak to him another day.” Then she too left.

When the next knock came at the door, Kelsey no longer assumed it would be Derek. It was, though, and he had one arm hidden behind his back. He brought it around to hand her some very exquisite roses.

She smiled in pleasure. “Goodness, where did you find these at this time of year?”

“I raided m’father’s conservatory.”

“Oh, Derek, you shouldn’t have.”

He grinned, pulling her into his arms for a tight squeeze. “He won’t miss them, with the hundreds of different varieties that he has. But I certainly missed you today.”

Kelsey stiffened, recalling her other visitors. “I’m surprised you had time to, seeing as the day has been so eventful for you.”

He looked down at her warily. “How would you know it’s been eventful?”

“Your father was here.”

He let go of her to rake a hand through his hair. “Bloody hell. He didn’t upset you, did he?”

“No, why would the fact that you told your
whole
family about us upset me? As for your father, he just needed some reassurances that I wouldn’t be marrying you.”

“Bloody hell,” Derek said again, looking quite exasperated.

And before he had fully digested that, she added, “Your mother was here, too.”

“My
mother
!”

“Yes, she was worried that you were upset
over what you found out tonight.”

“Found out? Oh, you’re talking about Molly? But she’s not…my…No! She can’t be. He told me my mother was dead!”

Kelsey blanched, hearing that. “Oh, Derek, I’m so sorry. I assumed that you knew who your mother was, just that you didn’t know that she was still your father’s mistress. But please, I was only guessing—and obviously, incorrectly. She didn’t say she was your mother.”

“No, she wouldn’t. I was never to know, apparently. But I see it clearly now. She’s my mother, all right. And damn them both for keeping that from me.”

50

Derek was absolutely furious. His mother was alive
—and not just alive; she’d been living all those years right there in Haverston. And they hadn’t seen fit to tell him. They’d let him think that Molly was no more than a servant. They’d let him think his mother was dead.

That
couldn’t be forgiven. Jason could have told him anything else, that she had run off, that she was too ashamed to have her identity known, that she wanted nothing to do with the son she’d borne. Anything else would have been easier to stomach than that she had been there all along and he had been unaware.

He went looking for his father. He supposed he should have given himself time to calm down first. Kelsey had suggested that, had tried to stop him from returning to Haverston that night.

But he was too livid to listen to reason. And the more he thought about it, the angrier he became. There would be no calming down, at least not until he had some answers.

He didn’t find his father in his room, nor
anywhere else in the main part of the house. He either wasn’t there—or he was with Molly. Derek suspected the latter and went down to the servants’ wing to find out. He didn’t need to ask which room was hers. He’d been there many times as a child, when he’d fallen into the habit of taking his woes to Molly. And how natural it had been to do so, now that he thought of it.

And he was correct. He could hear their voices in the room before he knocked. Then the silence afterward, which was even more telling.

Molly answered the door, and her surprise was evident. “Derek! Did Kelsey tell you I wished to speak with you?”

He stepped into the room. There was no sign of Jason, and no place in the room to hide a man that large. Yet he
had
heard his father’s voice. He hadn’t just imagined it.

He looked at Molly. “No, was she supposed to tell me that?”

“Well, no,” she said, finally noticing that his expression was too tightly contained, that something was definitely wrong. Warily, she added, “But, then, what are you doing here this late, Derek?”

He didn’t answer that. He instead called out to the room at large, “You might as well come out, Father. I know you’re here.”

Molly gasped. Several long moments passed while Jason decided whether or not to reveal himself. And then a section of the wall
opened, reminding Derek of that hidden door in Ashford’s house of horrors.

“How convenient,” Derek sneered. “I suppose it leads directly to your room?” he asked his father and got a curt nod. “Well, that explains how you’ve managed to keep this affair secret for so long.”

“I suppose you’re angry that I went to speak with the girl?” Jason asked.

“No. I would have preferred that you not bother her, but it didn’t surprise me that you felt the need to.”

“Then you’re angry because I went there to see you?” Molly asked.

“Not a’tall.”

“Derek, it’s bloody well obvious that you
are
angry,” Jason pointed out.

“Oh, yes, I am that,” Derek said in a cold, tightly controlled voice. “Can’t remember ever being this angry, actually. But then it’s not everyday that you find out the mother you were told was dead—isn’t!”

Jason sighed, a sadly defeated sound. Molly turned quite pale.

“How did you find out?” she asked in a whisper.

“Kelsey noticed a resemblance when you spoke with her tonight, and she’d never been told that my mother was supposed to be dead. I suppose an outsider, who hasn’t known either of us previously, might see similarities that those who’ve known us many years wouldn’t.” And then he glared at his father. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

It was Molly who answered, “I wouldn’t let him.”

“Don’t delude yourself, Molly—or should I call you Mother? No one stops Jason Malory from doing what he feels is the right thing to do.”

“You’re thinking in generalities, Derek, when there were many factors involved. Your father wanted to tell you the truth, believe me he did. Even recently, when Frances threatened to reveal the truth to you unless he permitted the divorce, he wanted to tell you.”

“Frances knew?”

“Apparently, though Lord knows how or when she figured it out. But I convinced him that it was too late to change the story now.”

“
That’s
why you permitted the divorce?” Derek asked his father. “Because Frances was blackmailing you? And here I thought you were being generous in giving the old girl her freedom.”

Jason winced at the derision in Derek’s tone. Molly, on the other hand, lost her temper.

“How dare you speak to your father that way?” she demanded. “You have no conception of the hell I put him through to get him to keep my identity a secret from you. You have no idea of the hell I went through in deciding that that would be the best thing—for you.”

“The best thing?” Derek said incredulously. “You denied me a mother. How in the bloody hell do you see that as
the best thing
for me?”

“Do you think I wanted to give up being a
mother to you? You were everything to me. I loved you from the moment I knew you were conceived.”

“Then
why
?”

“Derek, this was twenty-five years ago. I was young and illiterate. I spoke like a London chimney sweep. I had no idea then that I could improve myself. I was too ignorant to even know that was possible. And from the day your father decided to make you his official heir, I was horrified that the future Marquis of Haverston would be embarrassed if he knew, if everyone knew, that his mother was a mere parlor maid who couldn’t even read and write. My son was going to be a
lord
, a member of the peerage. I didn’t want him to be ashamed of me, and you surely would have been.”