Say Ye (15 page)

“Probably you would have too.”

“No. I’ve never wanted to marry anyone before.”

“Really? What about Tamara?”

“I wouldn’t marry her. I wanted to be with you, but I convinced myself you were better off without me.” For some reason, being on the phone made him able to say things he couldn’t in person.

“I’m not. Please stop thinking that. When we’re happy, I’m more myself with you than anyone else. Please don’t take that from me. It feels too good.”

“Earlier felt good. What’re you wearing?”

“Lorenzo…”

“Tell me.” He wouldn’t ask her that usually, either, but being on the phone was less personal, less real.

“A pink lace bra and panties.”

Lorenzo leaned back further, making the sound some people make when they eat a luscious dessert.

“Are you lying down?” he asked.

“No.”

“Well?”

“Okay,” Lita responded.

Lorenzo closed his eyes, remembering how it had been when they’d made up earlier.

“I’m on top of you,” he said, his voice low, teasing, and hoarse. “We kiss. I slide my hands under you. I can feel you--”

“Stop, I…just stop.” He heard the pleading in her tone, her embarrassment.

“Why?” Not even phone sex?

“For one thing, it’s embarrassing. For another, I would, well, I’d rather you were here, but then I don’t. This is really difficult.”

“Yeah,” Lorenzo said. He shifted and put an arm behind his neck.

“Please, I wish you understood. I want you too, really. When you…I didn’t want to stop. I probably would’ve gone upstairs with you if I thought no one would know. But they’d know and I’d know and I’d feel bad about it. It’d be too fast, and then what? We’d live there, in your apartment? I want to just be together. There will be plenty of time after we’re married for...I know we could get married sooner, but I want to raise our children in the church. I want to give them what I didn’t have.”

“I know you need time.” He exhaled slowly. “So, do I get some kind of prize for self-control, or what?” He chuckled.

“You get me,” Lita whispered.

“I will, won’t I? I need to arrange for a nice long honeymoon. Okay?”

“Yes. Better than okay.”

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow. What time?”

“As early as you want, I’ll be here.”

“I’ll be there by five. I love you, Lita.”

“I love you. Goodnight,” she said.

He held the phone, even after she hung up, not wanting to lose the connection. Sighing, he finally replaced the phone in the cradle and finished getting ready for bed.

11

Lorenzo had dinner with Lita and his uncle the next evening. He was still irritated with Uncle Enzo, who seemed to believe he needed to chaperone them every moment. And Lita didn’t show any sign of minding this constant supervision, but smiled and chatted happily.

He could barely concentrate on work that week, so he did the minimum before he headed to the gym every day. He supposed he could go see Lita, but berated himself for his eagerness. At five o’clock on Friday, he entered Uncle Enzo’s quietly and listened to Lita and his uncle talking. He stopped and watched her a moment, frowning at her tweed skirt and beige sweater. He walked over, kissed her cheek, and grinned at Uncle Enzo. Uncle Enzo shot back the same false smile.

“Is that what you’re wearing later?” Lorenzo said.

“No, of course not,” she said, draining pasta in a large colander.

He sat down with Uncle Enzo. Lorenzo scrunched his napkin. He missed the easy exchanges he and his uncle used to have.

“I’ll change before we go. Vittorio and Celeste were here for lunch.”

“Thanks,” he and Uncle Enzo said as she brought penne in tomato cream sauce to the table, already set, complete with wine and salad.

“You think of everything,” Lorenzo said.

Lita smiled, he looked away. It shouldn’t be possible to feel so good without being drunk or having some other stimulation. But he did. Lita intoxicated him, mellowed him like a few glasses of 1979 Vin Santo di Coltibuono, sweet and light, with acidic undertones and a radiant finish.

“Did you call Janetta?” Uncle Enzo asked.

“Yes,” Lorenzo said in between bites. “She said she’d try us for a week in the Spring. Hopefully she’ll take the job.”

“Be nice to her and maybe she will,” Uncle Enzo said with his eyebrows raised. He disapproved of the teasing, sometimes disrespectful comments Lorenzo and Janetta made to each other. “She’ll be home for your party. You can start then.”

After dinner, he and Uncle Enzo played a game of chess in Uncle Enzo’s sitting room while he waited for Lita.

“Now you and Lita are engaged again, I must remind you to act like the gentleman your mother raised you to be, not the cad you’ve been since college.” Lorenzo opened his mouth to protest, but stopped when Uncle Enzo held up his hand. “I’m not finished. I know you think it’s none of my business, but Lita is my niece, more like my granddaughter. She is a good girl. I know her beliefs and wishes. There will be nothing going on upstairs that wouldn’t happen downstairs. Do I make myself clear?”

“Plenty. You all expect me to turn into my father. And I’m going to be bullied into this church wedding by all of you, too.”

Uncle Enzo checkmated him. Lorenzo scowled and crossed his arms.

“I know you are not your father, thank God. No one is bullying you. We support Lita in what she wants. Did you think she would run off to Vegas with you or something?”

Lorenzo clenched his jaw. “That would be great. You expect me to be happy we have to wait six months?”

“Yes, you should be happy such a good, innocent woman agreed to be your wife. What the hell is wrong with you? Isn’t this what you’ve been waiting for?”

“Yes, and I could wait longer, but I need…” Lorenzo stopped and rubbed his thighs. He didn’t want to bring up certain things to his uncle.

“Sex? Is that what this is about?” Sometimes his uncle surprised him.

“You know, then. I haven’t been without it longer than a couple weeks since I was fifteen.” He had now, though.

“I…” Uncle Enzo paused and sighed. “I understand, but if you want Lita in your life, you have to do things her way.”

“You mean your way?” Lorenzo said. Uncle Enzo raised his eyebrows, ready for a fight. Lorenzo knew he was wrong but wouldn’t back down now. “I know her better than you. I know what she wants.”

“Now see here…” Uncle Enzo started but stopped when Lita entered the room.

Lorenzo drew in a breath. He hadn’t seen her looking so sexy in a long time. She wore a short black dress, asymmetrical, bare on one smooth shoulder, black hose and high black heels. If his uncle wasn’t there, he’d sling her over his shoulder and find out what she had on underneath. He cleared his throat.

“Are you two okay?” she asked.

“Of course, my dear,” Uncle Enzo said. “You look lovely. What time will you be home?”

“We’re getting an early start, so maybe around midnight,” Lorenzo replied.

“I won’t wait up then. You have a key. I expect you will make sure she gets home safe and sound.”

Lorenzo nodded.

“You’re beautiful,” Lorenzo said as he watched Lita slide into the deep leather seat of his car. Her skirt rose to reveal the gentle curve of her thigh.

“Thanks,” she said after he got in and drove away. “You look handsome, as always.”

He glanced at her, she blushed. Lorenzo laughed.

At the club, they had a few drinks at a table. Lorenzo surveyed the room. It wasn’t too crowded yet, so he asked Lita to dance. He watched her sometimes lose herself in the beat of the music, moving her arms and hips seductively, but each time she saw Lorenzo looking at her, she lost her rhythm. As the club got more packed, Lorenzo noticed more men around Lita, eyeing her. He escorted her back to their table, excused himself, and told her to stay there. When he returned, he couldn’t find her. His stomach dropped, his mind swirled with what could have happened to her. Then he saw her by the back door, talking to someone, a man.

“Lita!” he shouted, not caring when people stared at him as he pushed his way to her. “Who’s this? I asked you to stay at the table.” He didn’t need to ask, he recognized him as soon as he turned.

“Michael says…” Lita studied him and bit her lip.

Lorenzo knew he was in trouble now. He should’ve known Michael would talk—he wanted Lita for himself.

“Will you excuse us, Michael?” Lorenzo said as he grasped Lita’s arm.

“Want me to drive you home?” Michael said to Lita. Lorenzo shot him a frown. And the guy appeared so kind and harmless. Lorenzo knew what he really wanted.

Lita frowned and swiveled her head between the two men. “That’s okay, Michael. I should…thanks, though.”

“Call me if you need to,” Michael said as they walked away.

“Come with me to my place?” Lorenzo said when they reached his car.

Lita shrugged and slid into the seat. They drove and entered Lorenzo’s apartment in silence. He took her coat as they walked down the hall into the living room, where Lita eased herself into the only chair. She wouldn’t sit on the sofa with Lorenzo, who sat and faced her.

“So?”Lorenzo said with a bravado he didn’t feel.

“Michael says he saw you kissing another woman last week.” Her fingers gripped the edge of the cushion.

“She kissed me. I’ve known a lot of women. Sometimes they come on a bit strong.”

Lita almost jumped up, but she moved stiffly, as if she was in pain but put on a brave show. She shook her head.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, her tone questioning and tearful.

He couldn’t move for a moment, like when he tried to lift a weight which was too heavy. Lorenzo walked to her and enfolded her in his arms. She buried her cheek in his chest. She began to sob, much as she had that night, their first night alone together. He exhaled, caressed her hair, surrounded her with his protection, his love.

Lita pulled back and stared up at him. The look in her eyes made him want to turn away. “Why do I smell another woman’s perfume on you?”

“We were at a club. People get close.” It was true—the halls where he waited for the men’s room had been crammed with people, mostly women.

“You really do think I’m stupid.”

“No. I’m not lying,” he said, following her as she strode down the hall.

She turned to face him. “How many other women have kissed you? How many just made you have sex with them? I suppose that’s what you’ll tell me: oh, it wasn’t my fault, she jumped my bones, what could I do?”

Lorenzo chuckled at her turn of phrase and the absurdity of what she said. He immediately saw his mistake.

“You think this is funny? Is that what I am to you, a joke? How many women have there been? What are you hiding from me?” She paced.

He stared at her, but she wouldn’t look at him.

“Of course you’re not a joke to me. What do you think, I’m laughing at you behind your back? Why would I do that? Why would I change my entire life, use you, hurt you? So I could lose everything? You’re not making any sense, Lita. What’s going on?”

Lita stopped and regarded him with glimmering eyes. “What’s going on is you kissed another woman. I want to know how many women there have been. And I want to know if you’ve been tested and if there have been any…children.”

Lorenzo took her hand and sat her on the couch, he sat next to her.

“No, I have no children. I’ve always been careful. And, yes, I’ve been tested. I can get you a copy from my doctor if you want. Do you think I would do that to you? If I had something, I’d have stayed away from you. I’d never do that to you. I didn’t kiss her back, even if I admit I was tempted. You want honesty? I’ll give it to you.” Maybe if he told her a few things, she would be satisfied.