Sawyer, Meryl (48 page)

"Anyways, I was the only one with a peck of sense. Right
quick I ran and got the young doctor who was doing a summer internship at Fair
Acres. He gave Bobby a shot that put him to sleep.

"Don'tcha know what that young doc found? A chigger had
crawled in Bobby's ear. Doc got it out, but they'd waited too long—sayin' he
was crazy like his ma—he couldn't hear outta that ear no more."

Something in Royce went cold. What had happened to Mitch went so
far beyond barbaric that it was difficult to imagine it happening in this
country. A wave of anger swept over her, leaving utter frustration in its wake.

She wanted to strangle those people, but it was too late. It was
over. The damage done. And nothing Royce did could change that fact.

"Well, the judge came and Miz Raymond hired old Buster Tatum,
the only lawyer in these parts, to represent Bobby at the hearing. Buster was a
real jawboner. He convinced the judge to let Bobby go, but the judge decided he
had to be taken away from Fair Acres. Said it wasn't a suitable place for a
young boy.

"Bobby had been sittin' beside Buster real brave-like, but
when he heard he was being taken from his mama, he started to cry. I mean bawl.
I can still hear him sobbin'—'I want my Mama. Please don't take me from my
Mama.' It took the sheriff and his deputy to haul Bobby into the squad car. I
can still see him, his little nose pressed against the window, his fist
poundin' on the glass. 'Mama, Mama, Mama.'

"My poor heart like'ta broke. If'n that wasn't bad enough, we
had to tell Lolly."

" 'My baby,' Lolly sobbed when we told her. 'Don't let them
take my baby. What am I going to do here all alone without my baby? I can't
stand it here all alone. I can't. Somebody please help me.'

"I'm tellin' ya, Lolly stopped eating. She even stopped
working in the garden, which she loved. All she'd say was, 'Don't leave me here
alone. I'll die without my baby. I'll die.'

Deep in Royce's chest an ache of sadness coiled so tightly that
she actually felt pain. As if spring loaded that raw emotion erupted in a sob
she couldn't have suppressed if she'd tried. She loved children; she'd always
wanted a child of her own. How would it feel to have your child taken from you
when you were trapped, helpless?

Wally turned off the recorder and patted her hand, his eyes filled
with sympathy. "There's more, but let's listen to what Sister Mary Agnes
has to say first. That way you'll hear the story in order, the way it happened
to Mitch."

Royce could barely nod. She supposed she should be grateful that
Mitch hadn't been in Fair Acres for committing a crime, but all she could think
of was a lonely little boy who'd lost his beloved pet and his mother all at
once.

Wally studied her closely. He drew a photograph from his pocket.
"Emma had a picture of Lolly and Mitch. It was taken when he was
five."

Royce held the faded photograph, her fingers trembling. "He's
adorable. Oh, my, look at those freckles. And Lolly's beautiful."

Like Mitch she had midnight black hair and striking blue eyes. A
touching picture, she decided. Mother and son. They could easily have been
smiling into the camera for some slick Madison Avenue advertisement. Who could
have guessed the heartbreak they would suffer?

"I
want my Mama."

"What am I going to do here all alone without my baby?"
Royce
blinked back tears. All her maternal instincts fired at once. Oh, how she loved
Mitch. She longed to hold him and make up for the years of love he'd missed.

"Are you ready to listen to my interview with the nun?"
Wally asked.

She wondered if he'd guessed how she felt about Mitch. But she
didn't care. Wally would have to accept that she loved Mitch. "I'm
ready."

Sister Mary Agnes had a cultured voice. "Of course I remember
Mitch. I'd been teaching at St. Ignatius just one year when the judge sent him.
Sister Elizabeth was in charge and she told us to expect a mentally unbalanced
child who would have to be straightened out.

"Instead we received an adorable little boy who kept begging
to see his mother. My stars, you would have expected Sister Elizabeth to be
compassionate. But her sense of duty —as she called it—compelled her to make
certain the little boy never made another mistake. She legally changed his name
so he wouldn't have to face the stigma of a 'half-baked' mother.

"She used the name of the intersection where the school was
located. She claimed he'd always remember what he'd learned here. Personally, I
thought it was sadistic. Everything she did to that child was cruel. His room
had to be neater than ours. He had to pray even longer. If he did one thing
wrong he had to eat tomato soup for a week. And, believe me, she always found
something wrong."

How much could one child bear, Royce wondered.

"I truly believe Sister Elizabeth hated all men.
Unfortunately, she had total control over the child and no one to challenge
her. He went from being a rather happy child to a sullen, defiant adolescent.

"I never had a moment's trouble with him, though. He loved
English and I gave him as much extra attention as I could. But of course, it
wasn't enough. He confided in me several times that he missed his mother.

"He was with us for six years. By that time he had grown
quite tall, but Sister Elizabeth still hadn't put him with children his own
age. He'd been behind in his studies when he came but he'd caught up and
shouldn't have been with such young children. Was it any wonder he didn't have
friends?"

No friends. Royce had always had close friends like Talia and Val
as well as a slew of others. No wonder Mitch was such an insular man. He'd been
alone his entire youth while she'd had the comfort of friends and family.

"One day Mitch demanded to be placed with the other children
his age, but once again Sister refused. The next morning Mitch was gone. We
reported him missing, but no one found him. Two years later a Navy recruiter
called me.

"I truly believe God understands why I lied. I knew Mitch
wasn't eighteen, but I verified the information on the birth certificate. I
didn't know where he'd been or how he'd survived those two years, but I thought
he'd be better off in the Navy. I couldn't help remembering a pathetic little
boy crying over his dog and calling night after night for his mama."

Royce had never expected a story like this. The judge may have
been right that Mitch didn't belong in an institution, but he had been with his
mother eight years. Despite the sordid events that caused his birth, they'd
forged a strong bond. And Lolly had been lucid enough to realize her son was
being taken from her.

Once they'd had each other, then they had no one. She imagined
them each in their separate beds—night after lonely night—crying. For each
other; for what might have been; for what was never to be.

Why did Mitch have to encounter such an unsympathetic nun? It was
a miracle he'd survived and become such a strong individual. But the
psychological wounds were there —well concealed, but there. He'd reached out to
Maria for love, then she'd betrayed him by choosing Brent. Royce realized the
importance of not betraying Mitch. Too often, at crucial times in his life, the
bond of trust had been severed.

"Royce," Wally said, "I asked if you're up to
hearing the end of the story."

She managed a nod and he inserted Emma's tape once more.

"Don'tcha' know, I was stunned when Bobby walked into Fair
Acres one Sunday six years after they'd taken him away. Tall. No freckles. But
the minute he said my name, I knew it was him. Claimed he'd been allowed to
take the bus from the convent to visit his mother. 'Course I knew better.

"His clothes looked like he'd slept in a hayloft. But I
figured, what's the harm? Lolly grieved somethin' fierce when Bobby was sent
away. It would do her broken heart good to see her boy again."

How brave of Mitch, Royce thought. Somehow he'd made it halfway
across the state to see his mother, probably without a cent. That cruel nun,
Sister Elizabeth, didn't sound like the type to give a child an allowance.

"I took him back to the garden where his ma was working. I knew
they'd want to be alone. I watched from the door as he walked up behind her and
called, 'Mama, it's me. I'm home.' "

Home? Royce thought of the quaint Victorian she'd lived in her
entire life. Now, that's a home. Yet Mitch would go through life thinking of an
asylum as his first home.

"Don'tcha' know, the look on Lolly's face brought tears to my
eyes. She hadn't smiled like that since they took Bobby away. She got up
slowly, a garden trowel in her hand like she was scared to turn, afeard she was
just dreaming. Bobby touched her shoulder. 'Ma, I love you. I'm back.'

"Lolly turned. Lord a'mighty, you'da thought she'd seen the
devil. 'Not you,' she hollered. 'I'll kill you. I swear I'll kill you.' Before
I could open the door she lit into him with the three-pronged trowel in her
hand. If he hadn't been raising his arms to hug her, Lolly would have put his
eye out with that darn thing.

" 'Run, Bobby,' I screamed. 'Git away from her.'

"He hightailed it, blood streaming down his face. Tears were
pouring from his eyes. It like ta broke my poor heart.

"Lolly kept yelling. 'I hate you. Touch me again and I'll
kill you.' "

"Omigod," Royce cried. "Lolly didn't recognize
Mitch. She mistook him for the man who'd brutally raped her— Mitch's father. He
must look just like him."

"Exactly." Wally switched off the machine. "Emma
tried to explain this to Lolly, but she was so upset that they had to sedate
her. Emma gave Mitch twenty dollars and made him leave before Lolly got
worse."

What would it be like to go through life knowing your own mother
had tried to kill you? Or would knowing what your father had done be worse? A
heavy burden for a child.

After his mother attacked him, Mitch was truly alone in the world.
And to think she'd crybabied about feeling alone during her ordeal. She'd
always had Mitch. He'd never had anyone. Things would change, she assured
herself. She'd show him how much she loved him, how he could count on her.

"Who knows how he spent the next two years?" Wally
commented. "He probably lived on the streets until he somehow managed to
forge a birth certificate and join the Navy."

"He was too young, not much more than sixteen."

"But he was big for his age and by the time he joined the Navy,
Mitch probably had more street smarts than boys twice his age."

"No wonder he's so tough and self-reliant." A fierce
need to protect Mitch gathered force inside her. "I don't want anyone to
find out about these tapes. Obviously Mitch tunneled his money to the Caymans
so no one would bother his mother."

"I agree. Mitch moved Lolly the first year he was out of law
school, when he finally had enough money. He had a job then with the DA, and he
was ambitious. And smart enough to know that a high profile attorney attracts
attention. Some reporter was bound to harass his mother."

"It's just the kind of sensational story the tabloids would
adore." Royce sighed. "No wonder I love him so much. He'd do anything
to protect his mother even though she'd kill him if she got the chance."

She shook her head, disgusted with herself. "Why did I think
Brent Farenholt was so great? Sure, he loves his mother, but for him it was
easy. Exist and be loved. Adored, actually."

"I know how you feel." Wally reached across the table
and clasped her hands with his. "I feel sorry for Mitch, too, but I still
don't want you to become involved with him."

"That's what you said on the phone. Why? I know you're
thinking of Papa, but don't you think his horrible experiences explain his
burning ambition? Isn't success often a substitute for love?" She gazed
into the eyes that were so like her own. "Papa might have killed himself
anyway. He'd been horribly depressed since Mother died. The note he left me
said he couldn't face the trial—or life—without Mama."

"I forgave Mitch—years ago—but I don't want you involved with
him. You remember what happened to Shaun as a boy."

Oh, no, not Shaun, Royce thought. Wasn't Wally over him yet? As a
child Shaun had been a victim of child abuse. She'd tried to be understanding
but to be totally honest, she'd found Shaun to be self-absorbed and shallow.

"When children suffer traumatic experiences and don't have
anyone to love them, they're rarely capable of sustaining a relationship. They
want one, but they don't know how to go about it. Mark my word, Mitchell Durant
will only hurt you."

Royce realized many psychiatrists might agree, but she knew
better. Mitch had been emotionally cut off. That didn't mean he couldn't love
someone. "I'm not giving up on him. Not now. Not ever. I love him."

"You're so like your mother." Wally sighed. "Loving
but stubborn. I never thought you'd forgive Mitch. Even when I read about your
alibi in the paper, I was surprised."

"I guess I am like Mother. Papa certainly wasn't stubborn. He
was understanding, forgiving. If he were alive he'd forgive Mitch."