Savvy Girl, A Guide to Etiquette (22 page)

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE FINISHED.
Since you won’t join the Clean Plate Club at every dinner you attend, you still need to signal to the server or your host when he or she may clear your plate. The proper etiquette way to do this is to place your utensils faceup at a diagonal in the center of the plate, with the handles at the 4 o’clock position and the tops of the utensils at the 10 o’clock position. This will signal to your server that you are finished. If you wish to take a temporary break from eating during conversation, place your knife straight across the top section of the plate and place your fork at the 4 o’clock position with the tines facing up.

WHEN TO CLEAR THE TABLE.
If you’re hosting the dinner, wait to clear the table until the last person is finished.

WHEN YOU SIT DOWN.
Unfold your napkin and place it in your lap.

BATHROOM BREAK.
If you need to use the ladies’ room, fold your napkin and leave it on top of your chair or on the table to the left of your plate.

AFTER THE MEAL.
When you’ve finished your meal, don’t place your napkin on top of your plate. Instead, keep your napkin in your lap until you get up from the table. Then you may loosely fold it and place it to the left of your place setting.

WHEN TO START EATING.
I know, I know . . . the hunger pains. But wait until everyone has been served before you begin. If there is a host, follow their lead and begin eating when they do.

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Chew with your mouth closed.

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Cut one piece of food at a time.

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Don’t reach across the table for items; ask people seated closer to them to pass them instead.

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Keep your elbows off the table while you eat. (However, lightly resting your elbows on the table before and after the meal is acceptable.)

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Keep your electronics, sunglasses, and handbag off the table.

Several years ago, we celebrated New Year’s Eve with friends at one of our favorite steakhouses in Dallas. Packed with locals dressed to the nines, the evening was spent with good friends, eating good food, and of course anticipating the countdown to midnight. As we enjoyed decadent desserts and the clock inched toward midnight, a server approached our table with a tray of sparkling Champagne to toast to the ball dropping.

As if in slow motion, the waiter tripped and suddenly the entire tray of bubbly splashed all over my dress. Not exactly how I wanted to ring in the New Year. So how did I react? While this unexpected “refreshment” caught me off guard, I smiled at the server, told him not to worry, and used my napkin to tidy up. It was an accident, and by staying calm, he stayed calm, which diffused the situation and put everyone at ease. And luckily, after a thorough dry cleaning, my dress was good as new.

Awkward situations such as my Champagne mishap can pop up when dining out, but it’s important to handle these tricky scenarios with class.

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WHEN YOU HAVE FOOD STUCK IN YOUR TEETH . . .
sip some water to try to create a clean slate. If the water trick doesn’t succeed, excuse yourself to the restroom to take care of it there
.

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WHEN SOMEONE ELSE HAS FOOD STUCK IN THEIR TEETH . . .
subtly gesture to your mouth to tactfully let them know, and if they don’t catch the hint, tell them in a soft and friendly tone (you don’t want to embarrass them). While it may feel awkward to be the messenger, in this case it’s far better to have someone’s back than to pretend you didn’t notice the chunk of spinach while they were telling a story.

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WHEN YOU SPILL SOMETHING ON SOMEONE . . .
immediately apologize for the accident and offer your napkin to help clean up the mess. Also, ask if there is anything you can do to help further remedy the situation, such as offering to pay for the dry-cleaning bill.

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WHEN SOMEONE SPILLS SOMETHING ON YOU . . .
although your gorgeous silk dress may be ruined, try not to make a fuss—accidents happen. First, accept an apology and let the person who spilled on you know it’s OK (you will be their hero if you help them defuse the situation). Next, wipe away the spill with your napkin or excuse yourself to the ladies’ room if you need to collect yourself.

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WHEN YOU’RE SERVED SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE . . .
try a small bite. Who knows, you may enjoy it after all. But if you know mushrooms aren’t your thing, no need to eat them, but don’t make a big deal out of it either as you don’t want to make your host feel bad.

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WHEN YOU DROP YOUR UTENSIL ON THE FLOOR . . .
alert the server so he or she may pick it up and bring you a clean utensil. Another option is to pick up the dropped utensil yourself and alert the server. However, don’t place the dropped utensil back on the table.

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WHEN YOU NEED TO SNEEZE OR COUGH . . .
obviously cover your mouth and be as subtle as you can. If you experience a coughing or sneezing fit, excuse yourself to the restroom.

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WHEN YOU NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM . . .
say “Excuse me” and walk to the restroom. There’s no need to tell your fellow diners where you’re going. They’ll figure it out.

Have you ever found yourself signing the bill after a mani-pedi or getting a pizza delivered, only to feel perplexed about how much to tip? Showing your appreciation with cash can be tricky. And different situations call for different amounts of compensation. To take out the guesswork, here’s the ultimate cheat sheet:

This book would not have been possible without the dedication, hard work, creativity, and patience of the following people:

Content Editor:
MEGHAN RABBITT

Copyeditor:
RACHELLE MANDIK