Savor (3 page)

Oh God…someday I’m gonna pop. Explode? Just overly expand until my waistband is the same size as the equator and…and…I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking breathe.

“Luke and Dean, how about letting me have just a few moments alone with Maxx?” Dr. Blake removes the object from me.

Luke gives me a look and then the Kid. Evaluating the situation, he nods and tilts his head towards the door. “Let’s go hang out in the waiting room for a minute.”

Dean lets go of my hand and follows Luke out of the room leaving me alone with the doctor. She gives me a minute alone in silence, which I use to close my eyes and take long deep breaths.

I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this. Like two months ago, my biggest problem was getting Logan to notice me and now…now I’m about to bring a new life into this world and I just…I just—

“Wanna talk about it?” Dr. Blake’s voice speaks up. My eyes open as I ease my body up to make better eye contact. “I recognize the look.”

“The look?”

“Well, typically, there are two looks patients have. The ‘Oh my God! We did it! We finally did it!’ and ‘Oh my God…what did we do? What the hell did we do?’. And you, sweetheart, look like your heart has jumped into your throat.” I don’t answer but I can feel my lips tremble. “Maxx, I’m gonna be honest with you. It’s a big step. But from what I can see, you’re not doing this alone. And that’s gonna make a helluva difference. Take this pregnancy one step at a time, and I will do everything I can to help make the process as painless and informative as possible.”

For the first time since I entered the office, I breathe a little easier. However, when she plants a comforting hand on my thigh, I feel the tears in my eyes start to form, hitching my breath.

“It’s okay to cry,” she reassures me.

So I do.

Just let me cry right now, please. I know that my life is about to be flipped upside down, yet again, but this is the first time it’s all so real. Do you mind if I rest my head on your shoulder? For just a minute? I really just need one.

10 days. 10 days of dieting, constant photos, interviews, being groomed on what to say, how to say it, what not to say, what to fucking wear, how to fucking breathe in the ring.

No fucking joke. How to BREATHE in the ring. Because I must’ve missed that memo all these years that there is a fucking wrong way to put oxygen into your body so that you don’t pass out.

“Jake is impressed, ya know?” LC says, pulling up in front of my apartment complex.

I miss my house. Never had to live in an apartment before. It fucking blows.

I don’t answer. I raise my eyebrows in response.

“He likes you, which is unusual. He doesn’t really like any of the fighters he’s had. He likes the money they bring in. Big difference.”

“What can I say? Everyone loves me.” My cocky remark brings an unexpected glisten in her eye.

There it is again. She gets that look at least twice a day, every day. Do you know if there’s such thing as ‘Hot Girl’ repellent? Don’t laugh. I’m fucking serious. I need that.

“That they do…” The moment she wets her lips I know it’s time for my exit. Getting ready to climb out of the car, she stops me and says, “You sure you don’t wanna go anywhere? I could take you for a drink or something.”

“I don’t drink.”

“There’s always the ‘or something…’”

Go ahead. Say it. Doubt it. Question that there really are women out there who throw themselves at me like this, but you’ve been around long enough to know I’m not full of shit about this. Get that lack of faith in me out of your eyes. I’m not going anywhere with her. Do I look stupid to you? You know what? Nevermind.

“Have a goodnight, LC,” I mutter before climbing out of the car and shutting the door behind me.

Without looking back, I swipe my key card into the building and use the stairs to jog up to the third floor. I pull my keys out of my pocket and put them in the lock as the door across the hall opens.

“Unbreakable,” a feminine voice calls and I glance over my shoulder seeing my neighbor, Crissy, in her gym shorts and sports bra.

Women tend to wear less clothes in California. Walking temptations for any guy other than me. There’s only one woman I want right now, and she’s what feels like a million miles away. Most likely licking frosting off her fingers from a cupcake. I want her to lick me like fucking frosting.

“Evening, Crissy.”

She leans against the doorframe, which is when two more blondes appear over her shoulder in similar outfits turning the sight into an ad from a Playboy Magazine.

I swear to God they look like something Hef misplaced.

“We’re making margaritas and we’re gonna watch Blood Thirsty on Netflix…wanna join us?”

Do I wanna watch three porn star babes drink liquor and jump into my lap when they get scared from the poorly shot horror film? Once upon a time, the answer would have been a simple ‘of course’ before turning around and letting myself enjoy an orgy. What do you mean four is not an orgy? Whatever. Close enough. And before you ask. Yes. Yes I have.

“I think I’m just gonna crash early.”

“Aw…” The three pout in unison.

Unbelievable.

“But who’s gonna protect us from the really scary parts?” the one with the purple sports bra and big brown eyes questions, raising a finger to her lips to look innocent.

Is it crazy that like six months ago I wouldn’t have given this a second thought, and now the idea of being anywhere close to them makes me feel like gagging. What is
wrong
with me? What do you mean that’s what real love is like? You…you stop reading those chick books. You’re getting extra girly on me.

“Have a good night, ladies,” I chuckle, twist the knob, and let myself into my small one bedroom apartment.

Tossing the keys on the bar kitchen counter, I drop my gym bag, and kick off my shoes right at the door. Slowly, I stroll past the dark living room and down the small hall to my room knowing I should shower off, but not wanting risk waking Maxx up in the middle of the night again.

This whole fucking time zone thing sucks. Between that, her work schedule, and my workout schedule, I barely speak to her for more than thirty minutes total a day. Do you have any idea what kinda fucking nightmare this is? It’s like quitting a drug cold turkey. And there’s no reason I should have to fucking quit her. We just started dating and instead of spending more time together we spend less. Does that make any goddamn sense to you?

I flop down on the edge of the mattress and attempt to video call her.

Hasn’t worked yet, but here’s to fucking hoping.

Suddenly, Maxx’s face appears on my screen. She’s leaning over the camera, wet hair stuck to her face and wrapped in a white towel. My dick pops up before I even have a chance to process the sight.

“Logan…” she coos my name on a happy sigh.

God, that’s fucking good to hear.

“Maximus.” I reply back, my eyes attempting to look down her towel.

What do you want from me? Her tits are right there and soaking wet like some sort of fantasy reward for being a good boy all day. I feel I should be rewarded, don’t you?

“Did you just get home?” she asks sitting down on our bed and picking up the phone.

“Yeah. I can safely assume you just got out of the shower.”

“Guilty,” she giggles and adjusts her towel.

My dick twitches, urging me to say, “Drop the towel.”

“I’m not dropping the towel,” Maxx snickers again.

Relocating my body so my head is resting on the headboard and my legs are stretched out, I repeat sternly, “Drop the towel, Maxx.”

Her brown eyes light up at the tone in my voice. She clenches her legs together.

Glad I’m not the only one suffering.

“Drop the towel, baby.”

Maxx pulls apart the tucked in piece and lets the material pool around her, revealing her gorgeous tits that I have missed staring at, touching, licking. My cock pulsates again as my tongue moistens my lips at the memory of how good she fucking tastes.

It’s lingering like I just had her. Fuck. I miss my girl.

“You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?”

“You’re just saying that because you’re horny.”

I softly chuckle, my hand now wrapped around my cock over my shorts. “I’m horny because you’re beautiful.”

“Not your best line, Logan…” the sound of her voice covering my body the way I wish her body actually could right now. “But not too terrible.”

“I miss you, Maximus. All of you.”

“All of me, huh?” Her playfulness is what I was hoping for. “Well, why don’t I give you a better view of all of me?”

Ladies, feel free to walk away now if live porn is not your thing.

Maxx positions the phone on our nightstand and backs up giving me a glorious view of her entire body. Her gorgeous mocha colored skin, her perfect full tits that my hands are reaching out for, her curves that my tongue is dying to map out, and an ass so phenomenal I can’t wait to tattoo my name on it all over again. I slide my cock out of my shorts and begin stroking while watching her stand on display like some sort of sex doll.

Without waiting for instructions, she runs her fingertips across her boobs gently feathering her nipple. I increase the speed I’m pumping tremendously. Maxx’s hands dance slowly across her stomach and I suck my bottom lip into my mouth, the sight of my beautiful girlfriend alone will be enough to shove me over the edge if we both keep up at this rate. Her hands caress each delicate curve while my mind pretends to do the same. She keeps up with the rhythmic touching, moaning softly when she grazes spots where I know my touch drives her crazy.

I’m convinced, now more than ever, that inside every nerd girl is a sex kitten waiting to be petted. Did you just meow?

The moment her fingers trail between her thighs to touch her clit, I state, “No.” Confused she stops like she’s waiting for instructions. Instead I say, “Nobody gets to touch you there, baby, but me.”

Her jaw hits the ground as she scoffs, “But it’s my body—”

“And over the last four years I’m sure you touched it plenty. Let me make it clear for you, Maximus. Every orgasm that comes out your body will be from my touch, my lips, or my dick. Every orgasm that comes out of you has my name already branded on it. So get your hand away from my territory and finish that sexy dance you were giving me.”

Fair? Absolutely. No. Don’t argue.

She smiles and resumes touching herself in a tantalizing way, hands giving my cock what it needs, moans feeding the release from not having had one since the morning I left.

Way too fucking long not to masturbate. I’m a guy. I could fucking die. Die. Do you want me to die? Why are you laughing? Dying from blue balls is almost worse than having your dick chopped off.

“Close, Logan?” her voice purrs when one of her hands caresses an ass cheek. The same ass cheek I am gonna be grabbing sooner rather than later, I hope. Too wrapped up in how good the strokes feel and how gorgeous she looks to have a cocky comeback, I merely nod. Maxx runs her fingers through her hair and breathlessly says, “God, Logan.” That’s my undoing. Suddenly, I’m coming apart, days’ worth of not taking her morning, noon, and night leaking out of me, covering the very expensive gym shorts I’m required to wear.

It was so fucking worth it.

Maxx stops moving and grins widely. “I know that look…”

“You should.” I lean back too exhausted to get up and clean the mess I made. When she smiles again I say, “Come pick me up.” Maxx bounces over to the phone and lifts it, before snuggling under the blankets, her head falling back on the pillow looking like something that should be framed or painted.

Why does my chest ache? Is that heartburn?

“I miss you.” A soft sigh escapes her. “So much.”

“I miss you too, Maximus.” She smiles softly and just silently stares at me like she’s soaking in everything about me. There’s a look in her eyes that I know just as well as she knows my orgasm look.

I don’t wanna push it. I don’t wanna have
that
talk. Not tonight. Tonight, I just wanna see her smile. Is that too much to ask? Just to see my girl smile?

Clearing my throat I ask, “Hey, how’s work?”

“Not too bad. Tony got us some fancy country club brunch. Kinda last minute, but big payout so that’s a perk.”

Doing my best not to be annoyed by her mentioning his name, I question, “Speaking of Tony, how is he?”

I know. I know. I remember what he did for us, but still. Just…give me some room, huh? Maxx is worried I’m sleeping with the cast of Baywatch, and I’m worried they are gonna have a Dawson’s Creek moment. And before you start questioning my reference, let’s just say when no one else is home, the movie channels suck, and Luke is in control of Netflix, shit happens.

“He’s good. Just started seeing some girl named Bridgette. Only a couple dates in, but he seems to like her. But then again, he always seems to like them in the beginning. I don’t know.”

Changing the subject from his love life, but still on the topic of him, I say, “The Kid said running those drills with him worked. That he made the team. JV.”

“Yeah! He was excited until he went to his first practice at 6:00 in the morning. Getting him out of bed is almost harder than getting you out of it.”

I smile and shrug. “He’s a chip off the old block.”

In an exiguous voice, she says, “He misses you too.”

“I know.” A wistful filled clump of guilt rises in my throat. “He calls me when he gets in from school.”

“Every day?”

“Yeah…”

It’s kind of weird that I was expecting to be more like a big brother and have turned definitely more into a…well not quite a…more of a parental person. Don’t start with me. You know what I’m trying to say.

“And Luke. He misses you too.”

“I usually talk to him on one of his breaks. Normally his 15 minute ones.”

“And Erin…I mean she’d never say it, but, ya know.”

“Yeah. She and C.J. both have a habit of texting me around midnight complaining about each other.”

“So it’s just me who misses the chance to talk to you?”

Seeing the hurt in her eyes causes me to look away.

It’s not my fault. Well, I mean it is my fault. I should’ve never fucking gone pro. I should’ve stayed where I was. I had the fucking world. The entire fucking world in my bed next to me every night. Why didn’t you stop me?

When I look back I wet my lips. “Maxx—”

“No. It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“Maxx—”

“It’s just…shitty timing.”

Growing more frustrated by each breath, I try again, “Maxx—”

“Speaking of, I have to get some rest. Early day tomorrow.”

“Right…” My voice trails off, self-loathing and aggravation dripping from it.

“Before I go, is everything okay with you?” Her voice sounds shaky, like tears could appear before she has a chance to hang up.

“Yeah. Other than not having time to be with you, it’s smooth sailing.”

Don’t mention LC and her inability to keep from throwing herself at me. I’m trying to defuse this situation not ignite it.

“Good. Really good. So glad you finally got your big shot, Logan…”

Less convincingly I agree, “Yeah…me too.”

“Goodnight,” she faintly says.

“Goodnight, Maximus. I love you.”

Her face tries to smile, but the tears she was trying to hold back betray her. “I love you, too.”

Before I can say anything else she ends the call, leaving me with two messes. The one she helped create in my lap and the one that’s becoming more apparent in my heart.

I don’t even give a shit how gay that just sounded. You know, I happily stepped into the ring to avoid so many different things in my life, and now all I wanna do is step out to be happy again. How the hell does that make any fucking sense?