Saving This (The McCallans #5) (28 page)

“No?” her blue eyes flashed intensely. “Here I am—pouring my heart out, telling you I’m sorry—and that doesn’t say enough?”

“No, it actually doesn’t. Actions/words…I can throw that little spiel back in your face. You have no idea what I’ve been through since you because
you weren’t there.
You talk about
me
not doing enough for
us
… Well you’re a fucking hypocrite. Why couldn’t
you
support
me
? Huh? Why did it have to come down to someone giving something up? If you actually loved me—
truly
loved me—then you would have supported me no matter what. You might not have liked my family and you might have been afraid to deal with them, but that was your choice. You knew who I was and the last name I had. That was too much for you so you left. End of story, Olivia, so don’t you fucking dare try to tell me it was my fault!”

“Do you really think your family would have let us be happy?”

“I don’t know because you didn’t give me that chance.”

“I told you I couldn’t handle the spotlight. I told you I needed out of the industry.”

“And I supported you one-hundred-percent. But there was no point in me walking away from it too if you didn’t even want me! I came after you, I pleaded with you, and I said I would do anything for you. I guess that wasn’t good enough since I didn’t make a grander spectacle about it, huh? Was I supposed to make some
Sixty Minutes
episode that I was leaving the business for true love? Is that what you expected?”

She didn’t reply, but the car came to a stop and Jake announced through the intercom they had arrived back at the garage.

“I’ll have Jake walk you to your car, but you and I are finished with this conversation.”

“Max,” she whispered. She brushed away a new set of tears. “I messed up, okay? I panicked. I so badly wanted to deal with my life outside of the spotlight, and in wanting that, I overlooked the obvious. And you’re right. I’m blaming it on you when I shouldn’t be. It’s neither of our faults, just…just how things turned out. I just want a chance to mend things. Can you at least give me that?”

He closed his eyes as a tension headache built. At the same time, he heard Olivia plead for him to forgive her, and then she took his hand. Her voice, and the memories of being in the back of countless cars and limousines with her, brought a myriad of feelings back from the past.

But that’s all that it was. The past. And he pulled his hand away.

He turned toward her with indifference fixed on his face. “I have someone who accepts me for who I am and I didn’t have to bargain with her to gain that respect. So yes, I do forgive you, but no, you don’t get another chance to mend anything. It’s done with and I’ve moved on. I’m happy without you, and I hope you figure out whatever it is you’re looking for in this life. I offered you the world and you refused it, and even though you claim that was a mistake on your part, I don’t give a fuck right now. So get your self-righteous ass out of my car and carry on.”

She gaped at him for several seconds until a scowl darkened her face. Then she grabbed the door handle, practically kicked the door open to scurry out, and slammed it behind her.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Anna had been expecting a car to come pick her up, so when Max himself was standing in her doorway after she answered it, confusion set in.

“Wait, you said we were going to meet your lawyer for dinner, right? Did I get it all mixed up?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Uh, can I come in?”

“Yes, of course.” She pulled the door open for him to enter, and then closed it behind him. “Max, what’s going on?” She faced him, and even though he’d hidden it five seconds ago, right now he looked stressed out.

“Nothing’s going on. I’m just not in the mood to go out. I already told Harvey maybe another time.”

“Wait, we were going to celebrate the conclusion of the case. Did something change? Oh God, Max, please tell me you’re still getting shared custody of Chase—”

“No. I mean yes I am. That hasn’t changed. But no, nothing’s wrong. It’s just been a really long day and…”

She waited for him to finish but just now realized he was still in jeans and a plain t-shirt. She was decked out in a beautiful purple dress and heels, something she didn’t wear often. He’d said he’d be wearing a button-up shirt and tie because the plan had been to go out somewhere nice.

Max stepped closer to her, placing his hands against her face. He seemed to study her features for a moment before kissing her, but even with her lids closed, Anna could still see the storm brewing in his blue eyes. Maybe he’d had a bad day at work, so with the intention of distracting him from it, she slid her hands under his shirt to unbutton his pants.

His hand stopped hers, and just held it against his chest. Confused, Anna took a step back but waited for him to speak.

“Today I realized how stupid I’ve been,” he began. “Sometimes I know something, but it takes me a while to really get a grasp on it; to really know what it actually means to me.”

He paused, so Anna nodded to let him know she was following. “Okay.”

“And the other day I was at work, and someone said something to me and had to get my attention like three different times because I wasn’t paying attention… I was thinking about
you
. And then there was the conversation we had in my kitchen about kids. And it just caught me off guard, you know? Like in a way that I wasn’t expecting. A
good
way. I know I want a family and more kids someday, but with everything going on with Chase, I just wanted things to work out for him first, you know? I was afraid to hope for too much because…I didn’t want to seem greedy and have something not work out because of it.” He shook his head. “God, does that even make sense?”

Her heart was beating extra fast, but Anna nodded again. “Yes, it completely makes sense. I understand what you mean.”

“Okay.” He bobbed his head too. “Good. So, um, when I was thinking about all of that at work, I was thinking about you. I mean I could picture that
with
you. And then one time I was at my brother’s and saw Mel and Camryn with their kids and…again I pictured
you
. When I was on the set the other day and the actress broke down and cried for the scene… I fucking felt that. I thought ‘God, I don’t ever want Anna to feel that sad.’ It just wrecked me inside.”

She could feel moisture build in her eyes but didn’t want to cry.  Just seeing him like this—so meek and passionate, somewhat frantic—was rare. It sent emotions barreling through her chest.

“Anna, I guess what I’m saying is…”

Her heart started to bang in her chest as the intensity built.

“Thank you.”

The record screech moment happened and she had to force down the lump caught in her throat. “Um,
thank you
?” She paused. “For what?”

“You’ve been my missing piece ever since we met and I just can’t see myself going through the rest of life without you. I know I’ve been cautious, or at least tell myself to be, but when I’m with you, I’m laughing and happy and all of that hesitation flies out the window. I don’t even think about how I should act or what I should or shouldn’t let you see anymore. I don’t mind if you see all of it. Good, bad, whatever is there, you seem to accept it.”

She nodded her agreement. She did accept it. All of it. And it wasn’t even a choice. She couldn’t help it if she tried.

“Anna, I also want to say… I love you.”

She hadn’t been prepared for the words that time, so they completely caught her off guard. But her heart reacted nonetheless, and right now, it felt like it was way too big for the restraints of her chest.

“I love you and appreciate everything about you, Anna Evans, and I want to have whatever it is we have and more.
I love you
and want to see you every day. I want to wake up to you, and I want to come home to you and kiss you goodnight before you fall asleep… I want to take days off just to spend them with you. I don’t just want all of that with you, but I
need
it. And I need to know if you do too.”

He seemed to sincerely wonder how she felt. She worried that maybe she hadn’t expressed her affection enough, or maybe like he said, he just needed to hear her say it out loud.

“Sometimes I wish I could bottle up how I feel about you, Max,” she spoke softly, her heart competing against the crazy butterflies in her stomach. “But then, even when I’m not with you, I still feel that way about you. I believe that says a lot, don’t you think? But it’s still hard to be apart from you. All I do is wish we were together. You’re busy and I’m busy right now, but I would do whatever I could to see you more. If it’s what you want. Sometimes I just…I don’t want to pressure you.”

“You don’t pressure me,” he shook his head with a sigh. “Not at all. I’m just hesitant to ask you to be involved in my world. I don’t want you to resent me. I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed by any of it. I’m scared that you’ll be scared away.”

“No, that’s not it,” she adamantly shook her head. “I’m not scared of it, and it doesn’t overwhelm me. I support you one hundred percent. I know who you are and who you want to become. I want you to share all of it with me.”

“And I want that too. I just feel like…there needs to be another step…”

“I love you, too,” she said, placing her hands against his stubbly cheeks. “I love you, Max. Don’t make me be without you so much, okay?”

He scoffed, but it was more of a laugh. He nodded and said, “And don’t you make me be without you so much either.”

“Deal.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close to kiss him. It felt like her heart was celebrating in her chest, and now those butterflies were flittering around, dancing with joy as well. All week she’d been wrought with worry, troubled by the insecurity that she had fallen harder for him than he had for her. It was an awful feeling, one she prayed she didn’t have to feel anymore.

Apparently prayers can be answered.

“I just have one request,” Max said as he disengaged their lips.

“What’s that?” Anna asked cautiously.

“Baby, you look absolutely beautiful right now. And I’m sorry you went through all that trouble—”

She placed her hand over his mouth. “What’s your request?”

“You get out of that dress, put your sweats on, and watch a movie on the couch with me.”

Laughing, she almost wanted to punch him for making her panic for a second. “Okay, deal.”

As she headed for the bedroom, Max added, “But keep whatever sexy panties on that you’re wearing.”

She stopped in the doorway. “What makes you think they’re sexy?”

He arched that damn eyebrow at her and she pretty much needed to put on a dry pair anyway.

***

“Last chance to change your mind, fool,” Anna teased when Max walked into his home a week later. “You see that moving truck outside? Still has my shit in there. Last chance to send it back, because once I unload it, I’m never loading it back up again.”

He laughed as he set his work bag on the floor. “Good thing, surfer girl. Your shit stays put no matter how much you piss me off.”

“Oh,
me
?” she scoffed with feigned disbelief. “Ha! I predict you will be the one in the dog house more often.”

He nodded his head. “Yeah, probably, because women are difficult no matter what.”

“Mmhmm, so find your own dinner then.” She grabbed a plate and scooped a large amount of chicken Parmesan onto it. “Because I made all of this for myself. There might be old bread you can make a sandwich with, though.”

“Ahh, bringing out the feisty jokes, huh. Good, then I don’t have to share the cookies ‘n’ cream ice cream I brought home for you.”

Her mouth hung open, but she didn’t see any grocery bags in his hands. “Fibber.”

“Mmhmm,” he nodded as he left out the front door. When he returned with a bag in his hand, he pulled out a container. “Oopsies, that’s the raspberry cheesecake gelato you love so much.” He set it on the counter and pulled out another container. “Ohhh there it is. Just some of that cookies ‘n’ cream crap that you’d do just about anything for.”

“You’re such a jerk!”

He threw his head back and laughed. “I know! But that’s how I have to be when you call me a liar just for rushing into the house to find my girl so I can give her a kiss. I got so excited after seeing the moving van and wanted to tell you how much I love you, and how happy I am that you said yes to all my begging and pleading—”

“Okay, you win!” She threw a roll across the room at him but he swatted it away before it hit his face. “And I love you,” she huffed, trying not to laugh.

“Then get your ass over here and hug me. I’ve missed you today, beautiful.”

With a smile, Anna walked across the kitchen and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing tight. “I missed you so bad, I had to go roll around in your clothes for a while.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Hmm, did you somehow slide into one of my shirts, then?” He rubbed his hand against her back, feeling her body through the soft cotton t-shirt.

“Yeah, get used to it. This one’s my favorite.”

“I thought the blue one was.”

“Then this one’s my second favorite.”

“Hmm, okay,” he laughed. “As you wish.”

She held him for a little bit longer until she couldn’t refrain from kissing him anymore. And as soon as their mini make-out session was done, Anna pulled him into the kitchen to eat.

“This looks amazing,” he said, sitting down when she set another plate on the table. “Thank you, sweetheart. You’re too good to me.”

“I know,” she shrugged casually as she sat. “But I like to be awesome like that.”

“And it’s a good thing I’m an active guy, have a gym to use anywhere I go, and have a high metabolism.”

“Don’t remind me,” she pointed a fork at him. “My metabolism is going to shit. I think it’s preparing for baby making mode—

She stopped herself abruptly, but the words were already out. But instead of any kind of weird, uncomfortable reaction from Max, he smiled and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Hmm, why does that sound so hot? Baby making mode? Mmm, yes please.”

Anna could feel her cheeks warm up, but she pondered Max’s response for a moment. “One of these days,” she added with a wink.

Max was studying her carefully for a second, but just as he opened his mouth to speak, his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out but paused at either the name or number on the screen.

“Gonna take this, babe. It’s Kellie.”

“It’s fine, go ahead,” Anna motioned. She forked a piece of chicken as proof that she was going to be busy eating.

Max stood from the table as he answered, “Yeah, Kell, what’s up? ... Oh, Tate. Wait, what’s wrong?”

Anna set her fork down and paused. Max was silent for almost a minute, but his back was to her and she couldn’t read his face. She did, however, witness him run a hand through his hair and then his shoulders dropped—that motion alone made Anna’s heart plummet into her stomach.

“Just tell me what you need me to do.” He listened for another minute. “Alright. Take care, man. They’ll be okay.”

Max hung up the phone and faced Anna. His entire forehead was creased with worry and it was obvious by the call itself that something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong with the baby?” Anna asked softly. It was the first thing that popped into her mind when Max said ‘they.’

He returned to the table and sat down. Maybe he was trying to find the right words, or maybe he was still processing Tate’s call, but it took him half a minute to respond.

“Kellie went into labor while they were out to dinner. Tate took her to the birthing center.”

“She’s not even…” Anna counted in her head. “Oh my gosh, Max, she’s only thirty-two weeks along.”

“Yeah, I know,” he nodded. “He said they were checking the baby to see if she’s okay…” He paused and smiled at Anna. “Ha, he slipped and said ‘she’. They’re having a girl.”

Just the thought of a little girl made Anna’s heart so full. Kellie and Tate with a baby was just adorable anyway, but a little girl…

“Anyway,” Max continued with a sigh. “Baby seemed to be a bit distressed, so instead of stopping the contractions, they may have to deliver early.”