Saving Nathaniel (21 page)

'Then why don't you take one? Go away somewhere. Take at least a month away. Rest and relax and get some sun. Things will seem better then.'

'It wouldn't make any difference. I'm too old and too tired to benefit from it, and as soon as I take my eye off the ball, some other bugger will nip in and steal it.'

She laid her hand against his head and brushed his hair with her fingers in short, smooth strokes, offering what consolation she could. 'I know I'm just the humble cleaning lady, but is there anything I can do?'

He opened his eyes and gave her a tired smile. 'No, Meg, not this time.' He raised his hand inviting her to put hers in it. He closed his fingers around it and rubbed it with his thumb. He then put the back of her hand to his lips, and kissed it tenderly. 'And you are not just my cleaning lady, you're far more important than that. You're a friend, and they're in rather short supply at the moment.'

He rose from the chair. Carefully and deliberately, he put the cap back on the bottle and handed it to Megan for her to put away. His hand weighed heavily on her shoulder. 'I think I'll go and have a wee nap,' he said, and traipsed despondently from the room.

When he appeared in the kitchen a couple of hours later he looked brighter. He sat at the table and opened his newspaper.

'Good nap?' Megan asked.

'Just what I needed. Thanks.'

'Tea?'

'Please.'

She prepared the teapot and switched on the kettle. As she waited for it to boil, she gathered up a collection of letters and circulars.

'I picked up the post earlier,' she said. 'And I found this.' She held up a bright blue envelope. 'It looks suspiciously like a birthday card.'

Nat snatched it from her and pushed it under the newspaper.

'Hiding it won't make it go away,' she teased.

His discomfort showed in the puckering of his lip and his light frown. 'It's from my mother, she always sends one. I've told her not to, but she's my Ma, what can I do?'

'Not a thing. When is it? Not today?'

'Tomorrow. Another year gone by and nothing achieved.'

'Don't be such a misery.'

He saw the sly smile she was trying to hide and pointed his finger sharply at her. 'Don't you dare do anything, Megan Thomas. I'm warning you now!'

'Moi?' she shrugged innocently. 'I wouldn't dream of it.'

The next day, she called Nat for his morning coffee. He soon settled at the table, absorbed with the crossword in the newspaper, alternately sipping his drink and filling in the squares. She busied herself at the worktop behind his back.

When she was sure he wasn't paying her any attention, she placed on the table in front of him a birthday card, a gaudily coloured cupcake complete with candle, burning with a bright yellow flame, and a small bottle of eighteen-year-old Talisker whisky. She put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. 'Happy birthday, Nat.'

'I told you not to, woman!' he scolded, trying and failing to affect dissatisfaction.

'Pah!' she exclaimed. 'As if I wouldn't. Now...' She put her hands over his eyes. 'Blow out the candle and make your wish. But don't tell me, or it won't come true.'

He inhaled, held it and then puffed out the flame.

For his evening meal she prepared the largest steak he had ever seen on a plate, and cooked it exactly as he liked it – so rare a good veterinarian could have resuscitated it.

He insisted she stay behind after work and share a tot of the fine whisky with him. She agreed, and stayed the whole evening. They talked, played cards and listened to music. After a gentlemanly, 'May I?' from him and a ladylike, 'You may,' from her, she consented to dance with him – a long, slow, close dance.

For the first time in many years, Nat enjoyed celebrating becoming another year older, if not wiser, and he felt his affection for Just Megan begin to grow.

A week later, on a bright sunny morning, Megan was to be found sitting on the bench surrounding the trunk of the big apple tree in the rear garden. She was perusing a magazine while enjoying her morning coffee, all the while accompanied by a song thrush singing gaily from the topmost branch of the tree. She was pleasantly surprised when she looked up to see Nat strolling across the lawn towards her, his hands deep in his pockets. He hardly ever ventured out into the garden.

He came to a halt a few feet away. 'Can I join you?'

She shaded her eyes with her hand. 'Of course you can. It's your garden. You don't need to ask.'

'Thanks.'

He sat beside her on the bench. 'What are you reading?'

My horoscope,' she said. 'It's a load of rubbish usually, although today there might be a hint of truth in it...'

'How so?'

'According to this I'm on the cusp of Gemini and Taurus.'

He shrugged. 'What does that mean?'

'That I'm two faced, and full of bullshit.'

Her silliness induced hearty chuckles from them both. She flicked over the pages of the magazine and he sat quietly, leaning against the tree trunk. Presently, he spoke. 'Are you happy, Megan?'

'What do you mean?'

'Just that. Are you happy?'

'You mean with life, the universe and everything?'

'Aye.'

She closed her magazine. 'I suppose I am, for the most part anyhow. Why do you ask?'

'I couldn't help but notice that you've been a bit quiet for the last couple of days, and that's not like you at all. You haven't been your normal self.'

'And what do you think is my normal self?'

'Chipper; chatty…cheeky. You haven't been giving me any lip lately, and that's worrying.'

She sipped at her coffee. 'I've just had something on my mind that's all. It's nothing for you to bother yourself about.'

'Care to share? Maybe I can help.'

'You can't.'

He shifted to the edge of the seat, turning to face her. 'Have I done something to upset you?' he asked.

She shook her head. 'You? No, not this time.'

'Then is it something I haven't done?'

'No.'

'Am I not paying you enough?'

'You're not paying me at all.'

He frowned his puzzlement. 'I'm paying someone. If it's not you, then who is it?'

'You pay Rebecca and she gives me an allowance.'

'That's not right!'

'It's what we agreed.'

He paused for a moment. 'Are you getting enough?'

She feigned shock. 'I beg your pardon!'

'Money,' he said, realising his faux pas. 'Are you getting enough money? Is your allowance enough?'

'I'm fine,' she smiled. 'At the moment, with the money left over from the sale of the house and my savings, I'm managing.'

'I can give you some if you need it. Call it a loan if you want.'

'I don't want, thank you.'

'So if money's no problem and it's not me… this time, what is it that's got you so worried?'

She could see he wasn't going to give up until she gave him a satisfactory answer. She had to tell him, even though it was probably the last subject he would want to talk about. 'If you must know, I've been thinking about what I'm going to do when I leave here.'

'Oh.' There followed a long, introspective pause. 'Have you decided anything yet?' he asked.

'I've had a few ideas,' she said. 'At first, I toyed with the idea of being a lady of leisure and not doing anything for a few months, but as there are a lot of hours in the day to fill, not to mention bills to be paid, I'll need to find myself a job before the money runs out. I've always fancied working in a garden centre; I like flowers. I might try there. What do you think?'

He picked at the fabric of his trouser leg. 'Would you…would you consider staying on here?' he said, hesitantly.

'No.'

'Why not?'

'Because this is Rebecca's job. I'm just minding it for her. You do remember Rebecca don't you; my little sister, your real housekeeper for whom I am doing this humongous favour? She's been at this house longer than you have, and in a few weeks she'll be back.'

'You're my housekeeper now. I'll let her go and keep you.'

'You bloody well will not!' Megan snapped. 'How dare you even suggest such a thing?'

'But wouldn't you want to stay, if you could?'

'For crying out loud, Nat, I can't, so forget it!'

Nat stood and plunged his hands deep into his pockets. He looked up into the bare branches above him. One solitary apple had hung grimly on since the previous autumn. Despite being shrivelled and gnarled, it seemed uniquely prophetic.

'I was in the house alone yesterday after you'd gone,' he said. 'It was too quiet. Lifeless. I didn't like it.' He looked down at her. Her eyes, hooded by her hands, were turned skyward, watching an aeroplane pass high overhead, a tiny silver glint in the blue.

'You've only been here for a few months, Meg, but the difference you've made to everything…to me, well it's…' He couldn't find the appropriate word and simply shrugged his shoulders. 'I'm going to miss our chats and your laugh. I'm going to miss the way you don't put up with any nonsense from me, and the way you make me feel better when I'm down…' He sat on the bench and slumped against the tree trunk, '…oh, for God's sake, woman, I'll miss you!'

Megan's eyes remained on the sky. 'If you remember, not too long ago, you tried to send me away. You were quite forceful about it. You said I should find a 'better position'.'

'I was just trying to do what's best for you. I didn't mean it.'

'And now you've changed your mind. You want to keep me here because it's what's best for
you
, because you think I'm a soft touch.'

'That's not what I mean at all! And no-one would ever think of you as soft, you're as hard as fricking nails.'

'I have to be don't I, as you and your awkwardness drive me slowly round the buggering twist.'

There was a short pause until Nat said, 'You promised to take care of me,' in which Megan thought she detected a hint of sulkiness.

'And I will, until Rebecca comes back,' she said.

'She doesn't have to.'

'Stop it, Nat,' she warned, and
swallowed from her cup; the coffee was by now almost cold. 'Please understand, as much as I might want to, I can't stay. I'm sorry but that's it. We both knew from the very first day that it was just a temporary arrangement. As soon as Rebecca is better, she's coming back.'

'I don't want her, I want you,' Nat blurted out before he could stop himself. 'You understand me, she doesn't. You know what I like, what I want, what I need…sometimes I think, better than I know myself.'

Megan's patience frayed. 'Enough! Give me strength! It's like talking to a child demanding a new toy. I'm sorry you're not happy, but it's
fait accompli
. We have no choice in the matter.' She got to her feet. 'We have a few more weeks yet. Let's just try to enjoy it, eh?'

The discussion was over. She wandered back into the house leaving him alone on the bench. He admitted defeat, and disappointment at his failure etched itself across his face. She was right. He was acting childishly and there was no case to argue. He shivered, feeling a chill, but not from the frost in the air.

Chapter 19

'
I
'
ll be back in harness on Monday morning.
'

Rebecca
gleefully waved
the slip of paper discharging her from the Outpatient department's care and deeming her, sooner than either of them expected, fit to return to work.

'
I
'
m sure you
'
ve done a great job, Megs. It couldn
'
t have been easy putting up with the old man, but you don
'
t have to worry about it any more.
'

Megan
's show of pleasure at her sister's regained health was nothing but a  sham. Inside, she churned. 'Don't you want to wait a bit longer?' she said, 'You need to build up your strength? Why don't you take a few more weeks?'

'
No way! The sooner I get back there and get things back in order the better.'

'
Everything
is
in order.'

'Your order, Meggie
not mine. I doubt we're even on the same page as far as that's concerned. Cripes, anyone would think you didn't want me to go back. Tell him tomorrow, okay. Megs?'

'If you're sure.'

'I'm positive. Tell him tomorrow.'

Megan went in to work next day with a heavy heart. Nat had gone out early and she was alone in the house. Tucked under a dirty coffee cup on the kitchen table, she found a note in his spidery scrawl.

'Meg

Give the study a going over please, I can write my name in the dust! Coffee getting low.