Saving Maddie (11 page)

She grabbed a box and swiped it over the sensor. “We have to keep ’em back here, on account of all these damn teenagers. If they ain’t trying to buy beer, they’re stealing condoms.”

After handing over my money, I glanced at the condom box as she piled it on top of the other stuff:
Latex Luve.
According to the small type, it was guaranteed to provide your partner with soul-shaking, lip-quivering, skin-tingling orgasms—or you could get your money back.

The woman gave me my change, then pulled a very plastic (i.e., clear, transparent, see-through) bag from underneath the counter.

“By any chance do you have paper bags?”

She smiled as she replaced the plastic bag with a paper one. After placing all the items in the bag, she handed it over to me. “Have fun.”

I thanked her and rushed out of the store. I probably didn’t take a breath between the counter and the car.

“What took you so long?” Madeline glanced at the bag. “What were you doing in there—grocery shopping?”

“Sorry.” I pulled out our drinks, then crumpled the top of the bag and shoved it into the backseat.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Nothing.” I unscrewed the cap off my water and downed half the bottle.

Madeline eyed the bag, but didn’t say anything as I backed out of the parking spot. Then, as soon as I put the car into drive, she twisted around and dove toward the backseat.

I slammed on the brakes. “No! Don’t look in—” I started, but it was too late. She had already opened the bag.

She smirked as she pulled out the condoms. “I mean, I know I have a bad reputation, but isn’t this a
tad
bit presumptuous?”

I felt my face turning into a supernova. “They’re not for me. They’re for Tony. He and Charlotte are going to…well, you know…”

“I think it’s obvious what they’re going to use them for.” Madeline dropped the box back into the bag. “I’m just damn curious about what they’re going to do with the motor oil and toothpaste.”

I tugged at my seat belt. “See, I couldn’t find the—”

“That was a joke, Joshua. You’re supposed to laugh.”

“Oh. Ha ha.”

“By the way, good job with picking the lubricated ones. Your friend will thank you for it.”

For some reason, that didn’t make me feel any better.

chapter 9

W
hen we got to Charlotte’s house, cars lined both sides of the street, but I was able to squeeze into a spot a few houses down from hers.

I grabbed Charlotte’s gift, and we began our walk up the hilly street to the three-story house. I thought about bringing along Tony’s “supplies,” but I figured it’d probably be better for him to come out and get them himself.

At some point, Madeline slipped her arm into mine. Her fingers squeezed ever so slightly—hard enough for me to take notice, but not so firm that it hurt.

When we reached the house, I knocked on the door and rang the doorbell, but with the way the music blared, I was sure no one had heard us.

After waiting a few seconds, I opened the door. The party was going full blast. As I dropped Charlotte’s present onto the gift table, Madeline asked. “Do you know all these people?”

“No. Most of them are Charlotte’s friends from school.”

Just then, Tony appeared from around the corner with Hershel Jones, another friend of Charlotte’s. “There you are!” Tony yelled. He started to say something else, but after a quick glance at Hershel, he shook his head and closed his mouth.

“Where’s Charlotte?” I asked.

Tony pointed upstairs. “Changing clothes. She has four outfits she wants to ‘debut’ tonight.” He took a swig of a red-colored drink. I hoped he was only drinking fruit punch, but I didn’t want to ask.

“And who are you?” Hershel asked, his eyes glued to Madeline. Actually, his eyes were glued to her chest.

“Hershel, this is my friend Madeline,” I said. “She just moved back to town.”

“Nice to meet you,” Hershel said to her. “You want a beer or something? I know better than to assume the Boy Scout offered you a drink.”

Madeline squeezed my arm again. “I’d better pass on the beer, but I wouldn’t mind a soda.”

A soda?
Had she forgotten about the twenty-ounce Diet Coke she sucked down on the way over here?

Hershel put his hand on Madeline’s free arm, a little too close to her chest. “I was just headed to the kitchen.”

Madeline glanced at the beer in Hershel’s hand before
turning toward me. “I’ll be back in a second, okay? This’ll give you and Tony a chance to…talk.”

I watched as Hershel pulled Madeline away. It seemed like every pair of eyes in the room were focused on her as she slipped through the den and disappeared into the kitchen.

Tony stepped closer to me. “You get the stuff?”

“It’s in the car, in a brown paper bag in the backseat. I left the door unlocked.”

He grinned. “Thanks, man. I knew I could count on you.”

“You should just be happy I decided to show up.” I rubbed my neck and looked around the room. “Was Rachel ever able to talk your mom into letting her come to the party?”

“There’s no way Mom was going to let Rachel come to a house party without chaperones. She barely let me come.” Tony shook his head. “It’s probably for the best that Rach isn’t here. She would have had a fit if she had seen you walking in here with Madeline draped all over your arm.”

I frowned. “What does Rachel have against Madeline? She’s never even met her.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Tony chuckled. “Rachel’s got a huge crush on you. Haven’t you noticed?”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek.
Well, she has been giggling a lot….

“Y’all would make a good couple,” Tony said. “Plus, I trust you more than any other guy she could date.”

“But she’s only fifteen.”

“Charlotte and I were only fifteen when we started dating.” Tony shrugged. “Of course, none of this matters, being that you’re with Madeline.”

“I’m not with Madeline. We’re just—”

“Yeah, whatever.” Tony started toward the door. “I’m going to get my condoms.”

I grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Tony, are you sure you want to do this?”

He shook off my hand. “Josh, stop being such a prude. It’s not like this is the end of the world. I’m going to be a senior in high school. I’m using protection. And I’ll be losing my virginity to a girl I obviously care about, being that she’s been my girlfriend for, like, two years.” He shook his head. “I don’t know who you’ve been hanging around with, but as far as high school goes, those are some pretty damn good reasons to have sex.” Tony downed the rest of his drink. “There’s a bunch of guys from the youth group on the patio. You should go out there and say hello—if you don’t feel too holy to talk to us heathens.”

I watched Tony march away. He was mad, but I knew he’d get over it—he was Tony.

After he left, I turned and pushed my way through the crowd toward the patio. Charlotte was Catholic, but a lot of her friends went to Mount Calvary, and most were active with the youth group. But no one from the youth group had ever invited me to a birthday bash like this.

I stepped onto the patio and approached the group. “Hey, guys,” I said.

Immediately, the conversation stopped and everyone stared at me.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Lena, our treasurer, stammered, her stubby fingers wrapped tightly around her beer bottle. “I didn’t think you were the partying type.”

I looked around the group. It was strange, seeing all these people outside of church. Most of the girls showed more skin than newborn babies. And everyone held at least one beer.

“I like a good party as much as anyone else,” I said.

They mumbled and nodded, still watching me uncomfortably. James and Scott even tried to shift their beer cans behind their backs.

I sighed. “I really don’t care if you guys drink,” I finally said.

Lena brought her hand to her chest, covering her half-unbuttoned shirt. “You’re not going to tell our parents, are you?”

Who did she think I was, some kind of Christian gestapo? “Of course I won’t tell.”

Lena exhaled. “Thanks, Joshua.” A few of the others smiled.

But still, no one drank. I tried to get a conversation going, bringing up every mundane topic imaginable. And there was plenty of room on the patio furniture for me to sit down, if only they would shift a little in their seats.

No one shifted, though.

Finally, I said good-bye and left the group. As soon as I was a safe distance away, I heard the conversation jump to a roar.

I walked back to the patio door and looked at the group. Was it really that hard for them to be normal when I was around?

“Hey, Joshua.”

I froze, my throat suddenly dry. I didn’t have to look to see who was standing behind me. I would have known that voice anywhere.

I slowly turned around. “Hey, Jenn.”

Jenn had only gotten prettier in the few months since I had last seen her. Her curly, sandy brown hair had grown quite a bit and now reached the tips of her shoulders. Her cheeks had thinned out, making her look older, more mature.

“I figured I’d step outside for a minute, to try to cool down,” she said. “But it’s hotter out here than it is inside.”

I opened the door for her and followed her into the den. We gravitated toward the far corner of the room, as far away from everyone else as we could get. I wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not.

I gestured to the drink in her hand. “When did you start drinking?”

“Relax. It’s just punch.” She took a sip. “You know I don’t drink alcohol.”

I crossed my arms, unsure what to say. I could smell her perfume, but it wasn’t a scent I recognized.

While she took another sip of her drink, I scanned the den for Madeline. I finally found her surrounded by Hershel and a bunch of huge, no-neck, football player-type guys. She looked so at ease with them, grinning when they grinned, laughing when they laughed. She looked like she belonged.

“Is that your new girlfriend?”

I turned back to Jenn. She had finished her drink.

“The one in the red,” she continued, looking in Madeline’s direction. “I saw you walk in with her.”

As much as I wanted to, I didn’t lie. “Madeline’s just an old friend. She’s back in town for the summer. You remember her, right? Pastor Smith’s daughter.”

“That’s Maddie Smith?” Her nose crinkled. “Wow. She’s changed.”

A flash of anger shot through me. “And what does that mean?”

She kept her eyes on Madeline. “She’s a preacher’s kid. I expected her to dress more conservatively.”

“Is that so?” I balled my hands into fists and stuffed them into my pockets. “So I guess preachers’ kids are supposed to be the good kids, while everyone else gets to do whatever they want.”

Jenn turned her gaze squarely on me but didn’t speak for a few seconds. It used to be that I could tell exactly what she was thinking. Now her thoughts were a mystery.

“It was good seeing you, Joshua.” She set down her ice-filled glass. “I’d better go. Rodney’s probably looking for me.”

“So you
did
bring him to the party.” I looked around the room, although I had no idea what he looked like. “Why don’t you introduce me?”

“I don’t…Maybe that’s not such a good idea.”

“Why not?” My heart pounded in my chest, like it always did right before a basketball game. “It’d be rude of
me not to meet the guy who’s…” I paused, breathing hard and fast. “The guy who’s
screwing
my ex-girlfriend.”

As soon as I said it, I knew it was wrong. Wrong and rude and so unlike the good Christian boy I was supposed to be.

But you know what—forget turning the other cheek. How about an eye for an eye?

Jenn frowned, but not like she was mad. It was more like she felt sorry for me, which made me even angrier. “Even though we aren’t a couple, I thought we could be friends,” she said. “You could try to be happy for me.”

“I am happy. Isn’t it obvious?”

Jenn put her hand on my arm. Her touch felt foreign.

“You know, there’s more to me and Rodney’s relationship than sex,” she said. “I love him. And I think it’s okay to sleep with someone you love.”

I shook her arm off. “You can’t be serious. You
can’t
love him. You’ve only been dating him for four months.”

“Joshua, stop acting like a jerk!” She crossed her arms. “I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s your fault we broke up, not mine.” Her voice exuded heat. “Do you know how many times I practically threw myself at you?”

For a second, I forgot I was supposed to be mad at her. “What?”

“Remember how often I
conveniently
forgot to wear my bra? Or how about that time I tricked you into coming over to my house when my parents were out of town?” She stepped closer to me. “I wanted more out of our relationship. And I know you did too—believe me, I could tell. But
you refused to make a move. You refused to take things to the next level.” Her words shot daggers into my skin. “It got to the point where I felt like I was dating my little brother instead of my boyfriend. I felt like a slut every time I thought about bringing up sex.”

I blinked, trying to bring her words into focus. Madeline was right. Jenn
had
tried to talk to me—to tell me that she wanted to get more physical. I just hadn’t listened.

“But you know, it wasn’t just the sex stuff that bothered me,” she continued. “We couldn’t kiss in public because you were worried how it would look. You wouldn’t come to my house when my parents weren’t home, because you didn’t want the neighbors saying anything.” She shook her head. “You were more interested in making other people happy—in doing the ‘right thing’—than having a girlfriend. You cared more about the church and your parents’ opinion than mine—or worse, your own.”

I wanted to argue with Jenn, to tell her how wrong she was. But she wasn’t wrong. Not at all. Not one bit.

“My father is the senior pastor,” I finally said. “There are just some things I can’t do—no matter how much I want to.”

“I understand that. All I’m saying is, I never felt like I was dating the real you. I never knew what
you
wanted, what you believed. It was always about what the church wanted. What your parents wanted.”