Saving Jazz (4 page)

‘What are you doing?' she asked.

‘We've gotta go,' I said.

‘We've got ten.' She pulled the top back down. ‘Try it.'

As I tried the top on, Annie sat outside the change room. I heard her phone ping every couple of seconds, and the furious tapping of her fingers as she replied. I assessed the top. It was cute. But was it worth forty dollars? Eventually I decided yes, and was just putting my t-shirt back on when I heard Annie exclaim loudly, ‘Shit.' I didn't even have time to respond. She whipped the curtain back.

‘What?' I said alarmed.

‘Shit, oh shit,' Annie collapsed on the bench and held her phone in front of her. ‘What a massive cock-up.'

‘What?' I said.

‘Mum keeps texting me,' Annie looked at her phone screen and started reading.

MUM

10 min outside Dymocks. I've got to pick up Jap

ANNIE

DW, we'll be there. Who's Jap?

MUM

What's DW?

ANNIE

Haha, you think you're such a tech savvy genious

She paused and looked up. ‘But I spell genius
genious
, with an
o
. Mum comes back with,'

MUM

For such an English genius I'd think you'd be able to spell it right. Wot's DW?

ANNIE

Don't worry

She paused again and looked at me. ‘At this stage I guess I forget it is Mum I'm texting and it's all a bit of banter, it's like I'm texting a friend, like you.'

‘Right,' I said, paying for the top at the counter, ‘so what have you done?'

Annie read from her phone again.

MUM

I'm not worried. But I can't be late. I have to pick up Jap

Annie looked up from the screen. ‘Now, it's the second time she's mentioned this person. I've got no idea who it is and so I reply,'

ANNIE

Who the fuck is Jap

Annie looked at me breathlessly.

‘You sent that to your mum?'

‘I know,' Annie shook her head and howled with laughter. ‘I just texted that to my own mother!'

We got to the exit near Dymocks, and Annie's mum's car was parked in the drop-off zone. Annie opened the door and we slid into the back seat.

‘Hi Mum,' Annie said cheerily.

‘Hi girls.' Annie's mum looked over the headrest and winked at me. ‘Nice message to send your mum, Annie.'

‘Mum, I'm so sorry,' Annie started apologising. ‘Seriously, I forgot it was you. We don't normally have conversations. We normally send like one or two texts. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry.'

‘It's okay,' her mum held her hand up, ‘DW.'

Annie and I both laughed. I marvelled at her mum. My own mother would have had a nervous breakdown reading that message from me. It would
have been serious and stern discussions about the appropriate use of language and technology. God knows, my phone would have been taken for at least a week by my father and I would've been grounded until I was thirty.

When we pulled up at Annie's house her mum told us to bring in the shopping, as she got the Japanese food from the front seat. Jap — of course. When we entered the house Annie's dad greeted us at the front door.

‘Hi guys,' he said grabbing some of the shopping. ‘Hey Annie, who the fuck's Jap?'

‘Dad!' she shouted and they both laughed.

We walked into the dining room, where the table was set and the plastic containers of food opened. Maggie, Annie's ten-year-old sister, was already scooping teriyaki chicken onto her plate. ‘Hey Jazz,' she said, looking up. ‘Hey Annie, who the fuck is Jap?'

Behind us Annie's parents roared with laughter. ‘Definitely one for the eighteenth, kiddo,' her mum said sitting down. ‘I will never forget this.'

‘And you'll never live it down,' her dad said.

I pushed open the door to Jack's room. As usual it stank of footwear and sweaty clothes. His bed was unmade and the curtains drawn. He was in front of his computer, with a headset on, shouting at someone who was not in the room.

‘Take the bitch!' Jack said. I watched over his shoulder as two guys punched a woman in the face.

‘What is that?' I asked.

‘A dirty whore,' Jack said and then logged off. ‘Science?'

I shrugged at this Other Jack, the one that played games that abused women, the one I didn't like. I wanted to get through our Science project but it was hard to turn off, as Jack did, from images like that.

‘Sure,' I pulled out my lab report and bit the end of my pen.

‘What's up?' he asked after a few minutes of silence.

I shrugged. ‘Nothing.'

He let another few minutes go by.

‘Have I pissed you off?' he asked.

I shrugged again.

‘What have I done?' he asked.

‘I don't know, Jack,' I said sarcastically, ‘playing that stupid game, the stupid things that come out of your mouth. Acting like a dick.' I was surprised by the words, by the anger I felt for him.

‘Steady on,' Jack held up his hand. ‘It's not real, Jazz. They're cartoon characters, if you hadn't noticed.'

I was starting to feel over the top, like I was being a bit hysterical.

‘Jazz, it's just a stupid game,' Jack said, annoyed with me.

‘It's not just the game, Jack,' I said angrily, ‘it's the way you boys treat us. I'm not sure if it's because we live in this small fucking place, or if it's because Greenhead is the Misogynists' Capital of Australia.'

‘That's a bit harsh,' Jack said. ‘How are we all suddenly women-haters because of a few computer graphics?'

‘It leaches out,' I said, ‘into the real world. Into sexualising girls like they're just things, objects. Into the way you speak and act. The way you view women.'

‘Man, you sound like an angry lesbian,' Jack snapped.

‘And you sound like a potential rapist,' I fired back.

‘Oh, I see,' Jack said angrily. ‘You're suggesting that all guys who play
GTA
are going to go on to be rapists. That's a bit of a stretch. It's like saying people who play
COD
are going to go and gun down strangers. The evidence isn't there.'

‘Isn't it, though?' I said, frowning, the anger dissipating with his argument. ‘We watched
Bowling for Columbine
, and Dylan and Eric did watch violent games and did go out and gun people down.'

‘It's a fallacious argument,' Jack said, far more calmly. ‘There are plenty of people who play those games and don't act it out. You know that.'

‘I don't buy it,' I said. ‘How is it possible that
those games don't desensitise you? Don't shape your attitudes towards women and sex and violence?'

‘They just don't,' Jack said flatly. ‘We recognise that it's just a game. That's all.'

I shook my head. Sure, I agreed with some of what he was saying — if everyone who played those games committed crimes then we would live in a war zone. But it had to have an impact, right?

‘Maybe not everyone then,' I said, ‘but it must affect some warped and twisted people.'

‘Like?' Jack asked.

‘Tommy.' It was the first name that popped into my head.

‘Dude, what is the matter with you? We know Tommy. He's not like that.'

‘Those photos,' I said.

Jack got up and pushed his chair away. ‘Seriously, Jazz, that's a totally different thing. Tommy didn't take them against Casey's will. She took them of herself. She sent them on Snapchat.'

‘But he saved them and shared them,' I was starting to feel confused.

‘She gave her permission.'

‘She so did not!' Now I jumped up from my chair
and stood angrily opposite him, my arms folded tightly across my chest. I hate to admit it but I was feeling like this was unwinnable.

‘We're not in Grade 5 anymore, Jazz,' Jack said, more softly this time. ‘You know that once an image is out there you can't get it back — or have any control over it.'

‘I think that's my point,' I said lamely. My argument felt like it had returned to the beginning. ‘If there weren't awful people like Tommy doing shit like that, no one would have to worry.'

‘Jazz,' Jack shook his head at me, ‘I love your innocence and sense of justice. I love the way you wish people were nicer, but this is reality — not that,' he pointed to the computer. ‘This world is a bitch and people are even bitchier. As nice as you are, you're not going to be able to save everyone.'

And there it was. His prophecy. And he was right. I couldn't save anyone. Especially not Annie Townshend.

Here's the post you've been waiting for — the night of Greenheadgate. I see by the number of followers and the comments that are being left that some of you are getting annoyed with the delay. But, dear reader, let me point out that this blog isn't for you. It's for me. It's for Annie. It's for Annie's parents. It's for my parents, should they ever read it, so that I can explain myself as best I can.

And now that I feel I've sufficiently set the scene leading up to Greenheadgate. It's time to break the silence we all promised to keep. It's time to finally tell the whole truth.

It started, as all good stories do, with a text message.

LILYPAD

Gathering at mine Saturday night 7pm

JAZZY

Occasion?

LILYPAD

Tommy's farewell

JAZZY

Awesome. How many?

LILYPAD

The usual suspects and sum. I'm opening it up to Yr 10s @ Namba

JAZZY

Ooh er … that's a new idea

LILYPAD

Mixing it up with the toffees

JAZZY

Think they can handle the pace

LILYPAD

Time to bring em down to real world

JAZZY

Party Greenhead style

LILYPAD

Yeah biatches

JAZZY

Too right

The atmosphere at Namba High was electric that morning. The invite was out. Open house at Lily's and all of Year 10, Greenheads and Nambas, were invited. The response was huge. Everyone had been a bit shocked when Tommy had decided to go live with his dad south of Perth, which seemed like a million miles from Greenhead. He didn't talk about it much, except to say his mum was a bitch and he couldn't handle her anymore. To be honest, I can't say I was that upset to see him go. And I never really thought it would last — I always figured he'd be back.

‘What you wearing?' Sim asked.

‘I dunno. This heat is unbearable. Everything ends up sweaty and sticky.'

‘Bring your bathers?' Sim suggested. I nodded. I'd just bought the cutest bikini from Tigerlily and was looking forward to wearing it.

‘I think I'll wear it under those see-through shorts I just got from Iconic.'

‘Get your ho on,' Sim said. I laughed. Despite my earlier protestations about the sexualisation of us, the desire to look hot conflicted badly with my feelings about the way boys treated us.

By Saturday I'd pinched three bottles of cleanskin from the winery cellar. Again, an upside of the way we lived. Alcohol was so easy for most of us to get our hands on that the children of the bakers or flower growers always dropped a few bucks cash our way — or supplied the weed they were able to grow among the wildflowers. My parents thought I was at a sleepover at Sim's, and for the record — I know I said I don't lie, but seriously, we never thought of that as lying — I was staying the night there after Lily's so I figured it was an omission, not a lie. I have since learnt there is no difference — and the legal system doesn't allow for one either.

Sim and I arrived at seven. It was still daylight — the days were so long that time of the year in Greenhead. Some blame too much daytime for the madness that ensued. But it wasn't. It was one main thing — alcohol.

The Namba kids were a bit reserved in the beginning. We owned the joint, this was our gig and our way of life and they were like the tourists that came to sample the wine.

‘I like Cherry's top,' Annie said to me as we poured wine into plastic cups.

‘I like yours,' I said, looking at Annie's tiny orange crop top that struggled to keep her breasts under wraps. Her red g-string sat way above her shorts.

‘Do my t—' she began, but I cut her off before she could finish.

‘No, they don't look huge,' I said in mock anger, ‘they look sensational.'

‘How are you the nicest person in the world?' she said, linking her arm through mine.

‘It's hard,' I said, ‘but someone has to do it.'

We drank. Lots. The Greenheads determined to show our skill and talent at partying. The Nambas loosened up and soon they were giving us a run for our money in the who-could-get-the-most-trashed stakes. Richie Lake had brought weed and the joints were being rolled thick and fast.

‘Here,' Jack offered me a joint. I shook my head.

‘Remember what happened at Tommy's,' I said, thinking back to the gathering about three months earlier.

‘You were totally wasted,' Jack said.

‘It wasn't funny,' I said, and probably made my only wise decision of the evening. ‘I'll just drink.'