Saving Grace (The Grace Series Book 2) (7 page)

With his attention fully on the task at hand, Herlin was only vaguely aware of the spook stripping hoods from the dead Klansmen. He would have to, to identify them. Moments later, he was hunkered down across from Herlin on the opposite side of the victim.

They worked on the man for at least ten minutes, if not longer. No matter how resolute their efforts, this victim was not going to recover. There was nothing more they could do.

A livid curse flew out of the spook as he rose. Then he was pacing, splashing up droplets of mud in his wake. Water dripped from the ends of his cloak to the ground by his feet. More drops fell from the kerchief on his forehead and trailed down his uncovered jaw like tears.

“Herlin, this has to stop,” he said. “Don’t disobey me again.”

“I’m sorry, Major. I thought the Klan was gone. I was sure.” Herlin’s excuses weren’t good enough and he knew it. He wasn’t supposed to be out here. It wasn’t safe for anyone, but especially for someone of color. That, however, wasn’t the only reason.

The spook gestured to the Klansmen on the ground. “Did they see you? Did they recognize you?”

“They’re dead,” Herlin said, but as soon as the words left his mouth he wished he’d kept it shut.

“Damn it, Herlin!” The spook was furious and he had every right to be. “What about the rest of them? What if one of them recognized you? As far as the world is concerned you are Kinsley’s driver and errand boy. That’s it. That’s the guise you use to get the information we need. We can’t afford to have your cover compromised. As it is, this operation has been going on far too long. Too many people in the white community can identify you. We can’t afford to make any more mistakes. This mission is too important. And I’ve—” he abruptly cut himself off and turned away.

“Major?” Herlin questioned anxiously.

So softly Herlin could barely hear him, the spook muttered, “I’ve made enough mistakes lately to foil this whole damn thing on my own!”

The moment Jessica saw Emily at church on Sunday, she knew by her expression something was dreadfully wrong. She didn’t, however, have a chance to speak privately with her friend before the service.

Sebastian, Jessica discovered, was unusually subdued as well. Normally his gaze met hers often while he gave the lesson, but he only looked at her once, and when he did he quickly averted his eyes.

So that she could speak to Sebastian without interruption, Jessica took up the last place in line as people moved through the chancel to say goodbye. The moment her turn came, she asked him, “Are you alright?”

As always, Sebastian folded her hand between both of his, but he didn’t smile. “Jessica, it would be a good idea for you not to stop by during the week anymore,” he said.

“But why? Is it the Klan? Have you received more threats?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s because of the unfavorable gossip about you and me. I have done something—”

Jessica cut him off. “I don’t care about the gossip. I am used to being talked about. It doesn’t bother me. The children are more important. I will be here tomorrow to help you.”

“Honey,” Sebastian said, “that’s not it. It’s about something I’ve done—something that could put a very bad slant on the gossip about us that already exists. I will miss your expertise and your company more than I can say, but this is for the best. You shouldn’t come here.”

“What is being said about you? I won’t believe it. I trust you. I will only believe you,” Jessica said firmly.

Sebastian briefly closed his eyes. His smile was so sad. “I am just a man who, like others, makes mistakes. You give me too much credit. Herlin is waiting for you. You’d better go.”

“Perhaps when the gossip dies down, I can come again?” Jessica had to swallow over the sudden lump in her throat. “I don’t want to lose you, Sebastian. You’ve become such a good friend to me.”

“As you are to me,” he whispered.

He was gazing at her so earnestly, and for a long second neither of them said a word. Then slowly, he bent toward her. His intent was unmistakable, and Jessica’s heart began to beat frantically. Her eyes closed just as his lips touched hers. It was nothing more than a whisper of a kiss, soft, dry, weightless, but she felt it through every inch of her frame.

He opened his eyes and murmured, “Goodbye, Jessica.”

Jessica gaped as he gently pushed her through the doors and pulled them closed behind her. It was unlike him to be so short. She’d never felt such an acute sense of being shut out before, and Sebastian was the last person she would expect to treat her this way. The only explanation was whatever was troubling him had to be terribly serious. The foreboding was so overwhelming, Jessica grew lightheaded from it. She decided to go home, but she was determined to get to the bottom of this. Her friendship with Sebastian was too important to simply let this lie.

Outside, Herlin was beside the carriage and Emily wasn’t far from him. Most of the other carriages and buggies were already gone from the parking lot. A few were still in process of pulling out. As soon as Jessica was within easy hearing distance, Emily said, “I need to speak to you.”

“Is everything okay between you and Trent? He didn’t leave you here, did he?”

“No. He’s waiting for me, and he and I are doing well. That’s not it. It’s about Stephanie. You must promise you will not repeat what I’m about to say to anyone.”

“Of course I won’t. You know you can trust me. How is Stephanie? She wasn’t here today. Is she okay?”

“Stephanie is not well, Jessie,” Emily said. “I don’t suppose it will do any good to beat around the bush. I should just come right out and tell you what’s happened. Stephanie came to see me and she was beside herself. She told me I must tell you right away, because she knows you visit with Reverend Nash. She is afraid he will do the same thing to you.”

“Do what to me?”

Emily lowered her voice. “Stephanie told me Reverend Nash raped her.”

“I don’t believe it!” Jessica exclaimed. What she couldn’t believe was that Stephanie would ever say something so preposterous!

“At first, I didn’t either,” Emily went on. “I thought she just wanted to get back at you because she’s jealous.”

“Jealous? Of me?”

“Well yes, Jessie. Because of your relationship with the reverend, and all the gossip about the two of you being more than just friends.”

“But you know that’s not true,” Even as the defensive words left her mouth, Jessica could feel her face growing warm. Her recently kissed lips quivered.

“I know,” Emily said. “But, Jessie, listen. Stephanie knew things about the parsonage, and about the reverend she wouldn’t know if she hadn’t been inside. She told me in detail what his bedroom looks like. She told me in detail what his… um… his body looks like. I didn’t want to believe her, but the longer she talked, the more convinced I became. She asked me to tell you because you are her friend and she doesn’t want him to hurt you the same way. She knows you are alone with him when you visit and she’s worried. Stephanie also said Reverend Nash hurt her during… well, you know… and she doesn’t want to ever have to bear that again. She’s terrified, if the secret gets out, she may have to marry him, and be subjected to his… um… attentions for the rest of her life.”

Dumbfounded, Jessica stared at her friend. All she could think was that this wasn’t happening. None of this could be real.

“Jessie, if all of this isn’t bad enough,” Emily went on, “Stephanie had to tell her father. She said he went insane, spouting all sorts of threats against Reverend Nash. But he did agree to keep the whole fiasco quiet. He doesn’t want Stephanie to marry a Yankee colored sympathizer. Apparently while he was raging, he said he would kill Reverend Nash before he would see him as part of their family.”

More than anything, Jessica wanted to refute Emily’s claims, but she was too upset to know what to say at all.

“Do you believe me, Jessie?” Emily asked.

At first Jessica shook her head, but the movement changed to a nod. She didn’t know what to believe. She couldn’t think.

“Stephanie also said Reverend Nash is not a real minister,” Emily went on. “She said he was drunk and admitting all sorts of strange things to her. He told her he is a fraud. Apparently his father is a minister and he used his father’s credentials to get the position in the church here. He told Emily he is just pretending to be a minister.”

* * *

Two days later, Jessica was still tangled in a thousand knots. She’d gone over everything Emily said about Sebastian repeatedly. She also spent considerable time thinking about what he’d said to her. Prevailing through all of it was how she’d told him she would believe in him. Even though he said she should stay away, by doing so, she was declaring through her actions that she didn’t believe him, and this was something she needed to rectify. Sebastian was too good a friend for her to do anything less. Regardless of what anyone claimed about him, Jessica’s regard had not changed.

She waited until the late afternoon so Sebastian wouldn’t still be occupied with students. It was dusk when she left the manor and almost dark by the time she reached the church. There were no lights coming from it, but there were lights at the parsonage. She secured Jasmine, hurried up the porch steps and wrapped at the door.

Sebastian opened it. At seeing her, he frowned and said, “What are you doing here?”

Jessica knew him well enough to realize his pique wasn’t because she came to see him. It was because of his worry for her. “May I come in?”

He hesitated, but allowed it. Jessica went to the parlor and sat in the wing chair near the fireplace. She waited only long enough for him to sit down as well before jumping in, “I know why you don’t want me to come here anymore. Emily told me what Stephanie Dunn is saying about you. I can only guess why she would say such awful things, but please believe me when I tell you I know she is making it all up. I also think this gossip will die fairly quickly. Stephanie’s father is determined to keep it quiet. The only problem is he doesn’t realize his daughter is lying.”

Sebastian leaned forward, clasped his hands and stared down at them.

“I know what Stephanie said is not true,” Jessica repeated.

He looked up. “Jessica, your confidence means the world to me, but I have to tell you, I am not without fault. You see—”

“It doesn’t matter—oh!” Jessica covered her expanding stomach with both hands.

“Are you alright?” Sebastian moved swiftly. He was already next to her chair.

“Yes, I’m fine. The baby moved. Oh, there he goes again!”

Lowering to his haunches, he asked, “Does it hurt?”

Jessica shook her head. “It feels like flutters. Like butterflies. But he’s getting stronger every day.” She giggled as the baby’s movements tickled her.

Over the past weeks, she’d shared many of her feelings about becoming a mother with Sebastian. His interest and concern for both hers and her child’s welfare had been especially touching. They’d even discussed names, although his horrible suggestions—names she would never consider for any child—were made solely to tease her. She’d been quite amused when he said he was hoping for a girl.

“Would you like to feel, too? Here… give me your hand…” she said.

His hesitant reach and bashful smile were endearing. Taking his long fingers in hers she directed his hand to the hardened ball her stomach had become.

For a minute they remained perfectly still and Jessica sighed. “It figures he would stop moving now. Already he’s making a liar out of me.”

“You will be such a wonderful mother,” Sebastian said.

“I hope so. But, there is so much I have to—oh! There! Did you feel that?”

“I did! That’s incredible!”

The baby moved again and Jessica laughed at the marvel in Sebastian’s eyes. After a while, however, all was quiet again and Jessica said, “I think he’s gone back to sleep.”

Sebastian withdrew his hand, but he remained kneeling in front of her. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” he murmured.

His sincerity was obvious, but there was something sorrowful emanating from him, too. Quietly Jessica asked, “Did you and Margaret want children?”

“We did, but for some reason Meggie couldn’t conceive. The doctors never could tell us why.”

His grin was crooked, but Jessica knew him well enough to notice the underlying grief. Gently she said, “Someday I think you will find someone to share your life. And then, perhaps, she will be able to give you children. You should have children, Sebastian. I can’t imagine anyone being a better father than you.”

His crooked grin deepened. “Someday, but I’m not ready yet.” Then he joked, “I guess I’m fortunate Stephanie’s father despises me as much as he does.” He stopped short. “That wasn’t funny. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Stephanie has had a crush on you for a long time,” Jessica told him. “She is jealous of the friendship you and I share. The accusation she made against you is nothing more than a terrible story she concocted because she really does care for you. As crazy as it sounds, she couldn’t think of any other way to get close to you. Unfortunately it backfired, because Stephanie’s father won’t hear of a marriage between you. All in all, Stephanie is not so bad. She can be headstrong sometimes, but deep down she has a good heart.”

By the time Jessica finished her diatribe, Sebastian was staring into the fire. But then he looked at her. Again she saw the bleak desolation in him. And there was something more, something she didn’t want to see… guilt.

“Jessica,” he said slowly, “Stephanie is not lying.”

* * *

“I did sleep with her.” The silence that followed Sebastian’s admission was deafening. There was nothing he could say to defend himself. There was just nothing…

Jessica sat there stiffly regarding him. A flush rose in her cheeks. Sebastian could feel their burgeoning relationship dissolve before his eyes. The pain of it made his chest physically hurt. As much as he’d tried, he could no longer deny his attraction to Jessica Kinsley. He had prayed that someday she might see him as more than a friend, too. His thoughts of Jessica by his side, permanently in his life, were constant. He’d even imagined holding her newborn baby in his arms, of taking its little hands and helping it to take its first steps, of having it look at him, reach out to him, call him daddy.

That fateful night—the night Stephanie Dunn showed up on his doorstep—he might as well have taken a sledgehammer to his every hope, his every aspiration, and beaten them to a pulp.

“But you didn’t force her?” Jessica murmured.

Swallowing over the emotion he could barely contain, Sebastian made himself look at her. Again there was nothing he could say. Just nothing… “It was a mistake,” he managed.

She nodded and she smiled brightly, and he silently applauded her for the front she put on. But the pedestal she held him on, and the confidence she spurred in him, had just crumbled to dust. In his gut he knew she would be his friend, and in that he could be secure, but her regard for him would never rise to more than that.

This was the punishment he deserved. His sins in this were reprehensible. It didn’t matter that Jessica’s husband was a ruthless bigot, or that Jessica couldn’t stand the man. She was a married woman. He had known for a while that she slept alone, behind locked doors. As his desire for her intensified, this knowledge was the only thing that gave him solace. He had no right to have the sentiments he did, and with everything else he needed to do in this godforsaken southern town, he couldn’t have picked a worse time. But, dear God, he would have given up everything to whisk her away! He would love her forever, but for him, from now on, she would be as untouchable as Margaret.