Saving Grace (2 page)

The raven reappeared and circled high above me. My
lives
would be complete if it crapped on me, seriously.

Without thinking more about it
,
my legs started moving. Long strides over the wet desert sand. I figured I would need to deal with things as they c
a
me. One foot in front of the other was a saying
I've
lived by for centuries. But this nonsense has to end. The
let's
drag
Selah's
soul through hell campaign stops now. I walked toward the buildings with a mission.

The dusty streets were deserted except for the sl
ow ghostly roll of a few tumble
weeds. The drowning of the sun behind me washed the bricks and mortar of the buildings with graying reflections of color.

The raindrops ceased in their attack agai
nst the desert
s stillness. I stood at the entrance to the small city of concrete buildings
and watched the last of the
sun's
rays glimmer and fade.
A slow
,
sad death of day.
A powerful sense of the unknown, the supernatural, cast itself along the emerging shadows of the buildings. I shuttered thinking abo
ut what ethereal creatures
lived within its darkness, since I knew the evil of the creatures
that
lived within
its
light.

A loud sharp scream erupted from deep inside one of the large edifices. It called my name in a low raspy melody. The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I wondered if that could possibly be the person I so desperately wanted it to be.

My quick strides crunched over the broken gravel to the building where I knew the voice had come from.

I stood before the door as if I was looking at a gateway into some unknown plane, an alternate universe and moving forward through it would bring me to a place
from where
I would never return.

What was I really up against?
A band of fallen angels who were led by
Gabriel.
Gabriel the Archangel
who wanted
to create more
Nephilim
with yours
truly,
so he c
ould
rule the world.
Gabriel, who said he's
always
loved me.

What did I want?
Did I want my punishment to end?
Oh,
yes
. Did I want
to be
Grace
,
the body
of the person
I
had
lived in for the last ten years?
Oh
,
hell yes
. I wanted to live the rest of her normal life, whatever that held, for as little time she may have left and then cease to exist. I
didn't
want to live
anymore
lives.
I
didn't
want to die even one more time and jump into another empty
humans
body.
I was done being a lost soul. I had found the angel I had been looking for and he turned out to be a piece of shit. Okay, so I was just really angry with him for becoming so human as Shane. Maybe I was acting like a child.
A jealous
,
selfish child.
But I
didn't
deserve any of this and I planned to go down fighting. We were going to play by my rules now.
I
didn't
want to even think about Shane being my angel right now.
I was not thinking clearly enough to form a definite answer to how I felt about him
,
or if that bond of what we shared was gone. The mere mention of his name in my mind caused me to think of his lips, his hands on me and that
brokenhearted
look on his face when I choose Blake over him.

My heart sunk deep in my chest. It folded in on itself and hardened into a solid granite rock.
Unmovable and unbreakable.

Because seriously,
let's
think about this, shall we?
I just spent
centuries
saving my heart and soul for someone
,
while
that someone
had been trying to erase the memory of me through the lacy thong
,
dirty-ass panties of New York
City's
most
self-loathing
, easy, skanky little.... Okay,
I'm
just really angry. And jealous,
oh my God am I jealous.
What girl in the world likes to learn that they are easily replaceable and
forgotten? Not. Me. And then, THEN he tells GRACE that he
loves
her! Yes, technically I was Grace, but still! He
didn't
know that!

Do you see how unfocused and crazed that man makes me?

After taking a deep
breath,
I yanked the door open and walked in.

Oh crap
.

I collapsed to my knees. Straining my eyes to see through the dimness, I tried to take in everything that was around me. All my senses were heightened to a painful capacity, almost snapping me in two. Pure raw bliss enveloped my body, wrapping itself tightly around me, draining me of all my hate and anger.

The smell of the most exquisitely fragrant flowers rushed past my cheeks on the sweetest breeze of air
I
had
ever experienced. As my knees slammed painfully into the cold granite slabs of the floor, I could hear the slow sweet melody of an ancient choir of voices caressing their soft words against my soul. My hands grasped at the coldness of what lay beneath
me;
I needed an anchor, something to hold on to so I
didn't
feel like I had been knocked off the face of the earth.

What was laid out above me
,
I had only seen through a kiss lifetimes
ago.
Spreading from
my raw fingertips to the soft pads of my toes
was
the
warm feeling of coming home. Yet, a shadowy covering encased the edges of what I was seeing as if I was looking at the heavens through a dirty window.

A lone hazy figure gradually emerged from the depths of the shadows, and a desolate humorless laugh broke through my lips. I
couldn't
let myself believe for a second that this was my entrance to heaven.
What? Was someone going to try to sneak me in the back door?

The background of the heavens dimmed gently and along with it went the sounds and smells of paradise. I remained slumped on my knees in a small room beautifully lit with the soft glow of dozens of candles.

Th
ere was something about the eerie
silence of the room that seemed to unravel my nerves. I
couldn't
help but think there should be some sound of life to be heard, but I supposed everything would seem dead and silent after
you've
had a glimpse of heaven. My body shook violently in its withdrawal.

The figure I had seen before
,
now sat in the corner of the room deep in the shadows. The candlelight threw small impressions of light against it but it gave me no clues to who it was. The person, I
couldn't
tell if it was human or angel, leaned forward in its seat with its head held in his hands. Silky clumps of short dark hair hung over the hands and a tiny nip of a
butterfly's
wing quivered somewhere deep within me.

I caught a flicker of tight toned muscular arms as hard as stone pillars holding up an achingly beautiful face. The shadows and soft flashes of candlelight danced along the perfectly sculpted arms revealing the dark lines of the sharp beauty of his tattoos. I now understood the story behind them. The beauty of t
he swirling clouds, the dragon-
like serpent devouring their innocence, ending in the broken winged dove.
Shane
?

My windpipe tightened
as if
invisible hands were crushing it. I was
suffocating from his beauty, from my anger and hurt, and from how much I loved this being. My jaw clenched tight as the tears blurred my vision of him.

Shane sat shirtless, his powerful lean muscles flexed with the slow movement of lifting his ancient eyes to mine. The glow of the candles shifted and flickered brighter,
allowing me to see into the depths of the bl
ue eyes that were once my heart
s captive for centuries. Did they still have a hold on my soul?

"Grace."

The quick streaks of tears burned down my cheeks and I sputtered a small unintentional whimper. I wanted to close my eyes against his beauty, against everything that he stood for and everything he was. Yet, at the same
time,
I wanted to throw myself at him and never let go. I tightened my fists and waited for him to speak.

In a blur of motion
,
he knelt on the floor before
me;
his ancient blue irises echoed his rage and agony.

"I
didn't
know it was you," he breathed. "Everything is perfect now. We will be together and no one will ever hurt you again."

I cringed with each word.
They
didn't
sound right.
They
didn't
sound real.
It
didn't
sound like
him
.
Or, did I just not care anymore?

I balled my fists tighter, pulled back and punched Shane in the face as hard as I possibly could.

Chapter 2

Shane looked at me deadpan with accusation and hate in his eyes. The expression seemed to cause a riot of butterflies in my belly. Maybe they sensed the danger. I almost apologized to that beautiful face.
Almost
. I swallowed back the apology because I was not the one who should be sorry. If it
weren't
for any of these fallen angels, humans would still live in Paradise.

Something
didn't
feel right and it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention.
How could Shane be here with me?
"Thanks. But I think
I'll
pass on the bullshit," I replied. I stood up
. "
I'm
done. Game over. Pick a
new toy to play with." I turned my back on him and walked away.

Shane was in front of me in a flash, his eyes barely an inch away from mine. "Never."

"Never what?" I asked, quickly taking a step away from him.

"I will never let you go." He moved forward with me.

I stepped back against a wall that
wasn't
there a minute ago. Shane leaned in
closer.
I tried to swallow, but it only got caught in my throat.
Suddenl
y,
Shane's
face was
so
clos
e,
I
couldn't
even think straight. His hands moved so fast I
didn't
even see them coming. He crashed his body
against mine, hammering his open hand into my throat and
then
taking hold
.

He hovered his lips above mine. "You are mine.
I've
waited so long to be with you.
Selah
, I need you." He kept one hand on my throat and reached for the buttons of my shirt with the other. Instead of unbuttoning them though, he tore my shirt open. I
heard the scatter of buttons hitting the tiled floor beneath us. He pushed his body harder against mine.

"What was the gift you gave me the last time I saw you
Shane...
Shamsiel
?" I whispered.

"
I've
been trapped in hell for thousands of years. Remind me." His gaze lowered to my mouth. His body tightened and hummed with an electrical power.

"You
wouldn't
know the answer to that question, would
yo
u,
Gabriel?
" I choked.

I tried to rip his hands from my throat. I should have never let him get
this close to me. Dumb mistake.

His body rumbled with deep laughter. His hands tightened around my neck.
Both
hands now.
He moved and dragged me with him. My feet slid across the floor as my hands thrashed and clawed at his face. Nothing stopped him.