Saving Grace (42 page)

“Say no more, m’lady. I’ll be happy to fetch my scissors and try to make the lass look a little more presentable.”

“Thank you,” Johanna said. “Leila, please don’t leave just yet,” she added when the Maclaurin woman turned to walk with Glynis across the yard.

“Since Lady Johanna’s wearing the MacBain colors, I assume she’s your responsibility today,” Keith told Calum.

“I can take care of myself, gentlemen,” Johanna said. “You both waste your time following me around.”

The two men ignored her protest. “Aye, she is my responsibility,” Calum said.

Johanna decided she would have to talk to Gabriel about the foolishness in his command. The men would continue to trail after her until they were released from the duty by their laird.

Keith bowed to his mistress and left to see his duties completed. Calum was about to go back inside, but Johanna stayed him with her hand on his arm.

“Calum, may I have a minute of your time? I would like to introduce you to Leila.”

He gave her a look that suggested she’d lost her senses. “I’ve known Leila for some time, m’lady.”

He didn’t spare the Maclaurin woman a glance when he said her name. Johanna turned to Leila. She was diligently staring at the ground. “Leila, have you met Calum?”

“You know I have,” Leila whispered.

“Then tell me please, both of you, why you act as though you’ve never met before? I’m very curious and probably interfering, but I assure you I have the best of intentions. I thought, from the looks you try not to give each other, well, that you might actually care about each other a great deal.”

“He’s a MacBain.”

“She’s a Maclaurin.”

“Please excuse me, m’lady,” Calum said, his voice clipped and hard. “I have duties that need my attention. I don’t have time for such foolish talk.”

He didn’t even nod jn Leila’s direction when he left. She kept her gaze turned away. Johanna reached out to touch her arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make either one of you upset. You do care about Calum, don’t you?”

She gave an abrupt nod. “I have tried not to have these feelings, m’lady,” she whispered. “I cannot seem to help myself.”

“I believe Calum has feelings for you, Leila.”

“Nay,” she argued. “He would never allow himself to become attracted to a Maclaurin.”

“I didn’t realize the separation between the clans ran this deep,” Johanna remarked.

“How could you not know? The way the men carry on whenever you wear the wrong plaid should be proof enough of the importance they attach to the issue. We’re all trying to get along with each other yet stay separate at the same time.”

“But why must everyone stay separate?”

Leila confessed she didn’t know. “We’re all most appreciative of our laird’s patience with us,” she said. “I heard what you said at the supper table about the land belonging to the MacBains now. Everyone was talking about it, m’lady. What you said made sense to some of us. The Maclaurin soldiers didn’t like hearing the truth, however.”

“Do you know what I think? We have one too many plaids.”

“Aye, we do,” Leila agreed. “But neither clan is going to give up its colors, no matter how much you plead.”

“I’m not going to plead with anyone,” Johanna said. “Will you answer a question please? If Calum was a Maclaurin, would he court you?”

“I would hope he would,” she answered. “But he isn’t a Maclaurin, and he doesn’t have any feelings for me anyway.”

Johanna turned the topic then. “Would you like to come back to the hall and help with the tasks every now and again?”

“Oh, yes, m’lady, I would. I could see . . .” She stopped before she gave herself away.

Johanna wasn’t fooled. “Yes, you would be able to see Calum more often.”

Leila blushed. “Our laird doesn’t want me to ...”

“But of course he does,” Johanna said. “Come for dinner tonight, Leila. You’ll sit next to me. We’ll discuss your duties after we’ve eaten.”

“I would be honored to sit at your table,” Leila whispered. Her voice shook with emotion.

“I must go inside now and take my turn sitting with Clare. I’ll see you tonight, Leila.”

Johanna hurried upstairs and went directly to Clare’s chamber. She dismissed Megan from her task of watching over the woman and sat down to talk to her.

“Did you climb the stairs without assistance, m’lady?” Megan demanded to know.

“Of course,” Johanna answered, surprised by the censure in Megan’s tone.

“You could fall,” Megan countered. “You shouldn’t be taking such chances.”

“Megan, I have enough people fretting over me. ’Tis the truth I’ll go daft if I’m followed around day and night. I held onto the railing,” she added when Megan looked ready to protest.

“Are you ill, Lady Johanna?” Clare asked.

“She’s carrying, like you,” Megan blurted out. She nodded, then closed the door behind her.

“Congratulations, m’lady. I hope you give your husband a sound boy.”

Clare struggled to sit up in bed. Johanna tucked the covers around the woman before taking her seat again.

“A girl will be just as pleasing,” she remarked.

Clare shook her head. “I wouldn’t want a girl. Boys have far more advantages, but girls are only used for barter. Isn’t that so?”

“Yes,” Johanna agreed. She folded her hands in her lap and smiled at the MacKay woman.

Clare was frowning at her. “Then why would you want one? You’ll have the worry your husband will give her in marriage to some evil man, and she’ll spend the rest of her life . . .”

“Being afraid?”

Clare nodded. “And hurt,” she whispered.

“My husband would not deliberately give his daughter to a monster,” she said. “Did your father know MacInnes was cruel-hearted?”

Clare shrugged. “He only cared about uniting the two clans.”

Johanna was disheartened to hear that news. “Does your father love you?”

“As much as any father would love a daughter,” she replied.

“Girls are more clever.” Johanna said. “Even Father MacKechnie believes this to be true.”

“They can still be beaten and humiliated. You don’t realize how fortunate you are, Lady Johanna. Your husband treats you well.”

Johanna leaned back in her chair. “I wouldn’t stay here if he didn’t treat me well.”

Clare didn’t look like she believed Johanna. “How could you leave?” she asked.

“I would find a way,” Johanna explained. “Clare, when I was married before, to an Englishman, I would pray every night I wouldn’t conceive. I didn’t want to give him a girl because I knew he would mistreat her whenever he felt inclined to vent his anger, and I didn’t want to give him a boy because I knew he would be taken away from me and raised in his father’s image. I didn’t want such foul attitudes about women to be passed down, you see.”

“Were you beaten?”

“Yes.”

“How did the Englishman die? Did you kill him?”

Johanna was surprised by the question. She shook her head. “There were times I wanted to kill him, and I’ll surely burn in hell for admitting such a sin of contemplation, but I didn’t give in to my anger. I didn’t want to be like him, Clare. I felt trapped, yes, and then I realized I was intelligent enough to find a way to leave.”

“How did he die?”

“I was told by King John he fell from a cliff near the city on the waters. I didn’t even know he’d left England.”

Clare nodded. Johanna decided to turn the topic. “Glynis will be here in a few minutes with her scissors. She’ll try to repair your hair.”

“When will my father get here?”

“We expect him this afternoon.”

“I don’t want my hair repaired. It used to be as long as yours until they butchered it. I want my father to see what the Maclnnes men did to his daughter.”

“What about your mother?”

“She’s dead,” Clare answered. “Four years now. I’m glad she isn’t here now. It would break her heart to see me like this.”

“The baby you’re carrying . . . will your father ...”

“I’m very weary now, m’lady. I would like to rest.”

Johanna stared at Clare a long while. The MacKay woman closed her eyes. She was feigning sleep.

“Clare, you can’t keep this up much longer,” Johanna said. “You’re going to have to talk about what happened.”

“I’m in pain, Johanna. Have you no mercy?”

Johanna nodded. “I know you ache.”

“Then please . . .”

“Clare,” Johanna interrupted. “My husband is most anxious for you to tell him who the MacBain soldier—”

“I will not name the man.”

Clare burst into tears. Johanna reached out to take hold of her hand.

“It’s going to be all right,” she whispered. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

“You told me you felt trapped, and I felt the same way. I couldn’t marry the bastard. I couldn’t. I did something I wish now . . .”

“Yes?”

Clare shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “I’ll be found out soon enough. Please let me rest now. I’m not strong enough to talk about what happened.”

Johanna gave in. Glynis pounded on the door and then walked inside. She carried a brush and her scissors in her hand.

“I’m ready to see what I can do,” she announced. Johanna stood up. “Clare isn’t up to having her hair fussed over.”

“Do you mean all the trouble I went to searching out these scissors was for nothing, m’lady?”

“Actually no, Glynis. I could do with your services. I’ve been wanting to cut my hair for quite some time. Come along to my bedroom and you can use your scissors on me.”

Glynis perked up. Her errand hadn’t been in vain after all. She and Johanna got into an argument about the length to be trimmed, however. Glynis didn’t want to cut so much away, but her mistress was emphatic.

Johanna’s hair barely reached her shoulders when Glynis was finished.

“I’ll admit you look fetching, m’lady.”

“I didn’t realize it would be so curly.”

“The weight kept the curls out,” Glynis explained.

“The weight gave me a fair-sized headache every day,” Johanna added. “Thank you so much, Glynis.” She threaded her fingers through her hair and laughed. “I’m not so certain how it looks, but it feels wonderful.”

“Will the MacBain throw a fit when he sees what I’ve done?”

Johanna could tell from Glynis’s smile she was jesting with her question.

“I doubt he’ll even notice.”

“He’ll notice, all right. He notices everything about you. We all smile over the way he stares at you. He holds affection for you, m’lady.”

“I pray he’ll continue to feel affection for me tonight. He’s sure to become irritated when I join him at the dinner table. ’Tis the truth everyone’s going to be rattled by the surprise I’ve decided upon.”

Glynis’s curiosity was captured, of course. “What do you have planned?”

“I can’t tell you,” Johanna replied. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

Glynis nagged her mistress for several more minutes before giving up. “Will you be going downstairs? I’ll take hold of your arm and make certain you don’t fall on the steps.”

“I’m going to stay here,” she replied. “Would you mind if I borrowed your scissors? I’ll return them to you this evening.”

“Keep them here,” Glynis said. “When Clare’s wanting her hair trimmed, I’ll know where to look. Good day to you, m’lady.”

Glynis was just reaching for the door latch when Johanna stopped her with a question.”

“Do all women have the same symptoms when they’re carrying?”

Glynis turned around. “Most do,” she answered. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering,” Johanna answered. “When does a woman start showing?”

“Depends,” Glynis replied. “Some show by the fourth month, others wait another month for their middles to fatten. You should be starting to lose your waist,” she added. “Are you?”

“I am,” Johanna said.

She thanked Glynis again. As soon as the door closed behind the woman, Johanna began work on her surprise. She spread the MacBain plaid lengthwise over the bed and cut it down the middle. She made the same long cut in the Maclaurin plaid. Then she sat down on the bed with the two halves and sewed them together. When she was finished, it was impossible to tell where the MacBain plaid ended and the Maclaurin plaid began.

Keith would probably have to take to his bed for a week when he saw what she’d done. Johanna knew she was going to cause an uproar. She didn’t care. It was high time everyone put his differences aside and joined together to form one clan under Gabriel’s leadership.

She probably should tell her husband what she was going to do. Johanna folded the leftover strips and put them under the bed. She hid the new plaid she’d sewn together there, too. She wouldn’t put the garment on until dinner.

She was yawning by the time she’d completed her task. She needed a nap. She took off her plaid, draped it over the chair with her belt, and then stretched out on the bed. She would only rest a minute or two.

Johanna fell asleep thinking about Clare MacKay. The woman had started to tell her something she’d done, then changed her mind. She’d looked terribly frightened.

She was certainly a puzzle. What had she meant when she’d said in time she would be found out?

Johanna slept for three hours. She opened her eyes and found Alex sound asleep beside her. Her son was drooling all over her arm. He was obviously a sound sleeper, a trait she hoped his little brother or sister would share.

She slowly sat up so she wouldn’t disturb Alex and almost burst into laughter when she spotted Dumfries sound asleep at the foot of the bed.

She couldn’t order the dog down without waking Alex. She scooted out of bed, washed, and then got dressed in the MacBain plaid again. Waves of nausea made the simple task seem to take forever. Johanna had to sit down several times to wait until the sickness passed.