Saving Face (a young adult romance) (12 page)

Another panel was hung with several
smaller prints—all from the hospital carnival.   A montage of children’s
painted faces, each with her quietly standing in the background.   Beneath the
frame, where all the pieces of art had yellow silent auction sheets, was a
green tag that said
Not For Sale. 
Glancing up and down she could tell
that each of these photos had green tags.  All around her the crowd was making
room for her.  Either they recognized her face, and therefore her superior
claim to being there.  Or, and later on Alyssa would think this more likely,
they could tell that if they didn’t move—she would just have run them right
over.  At that moment Alyssa was alone in the room with those photos. 

There more than a dozen panels. 
One showed her adjusting Mr. Petry’s tie for a date with Sophia Bunch.  There
was even one of her and Pop.  One arm was wrapped around his neck as she
pressed a light kiss to his cheek.  She remembered him taking this photo.  It
was about half a second after Pop had extracted that ridiculous promise to take
care of Alyssa from Brent.

“Alyssa?  Are you okay?  Alyssa?” 
Beth’s voice shook her back to reality.  Beth was standing to the right of her,
and in front of the final panel.

“Yeah, I’m good.  I just wish I’d
known, you know?”

Beth nodded.  “They’re beautiful. 
Not that you aren’t always beautiful—but these are something else.”

Alyssa knew exactly what she
meant.  There was a quality about the girl in these photos that Alyssa almost
didn’t recognize.  Certainly seeing this exhibit was a long way from looking at
her reflection.  This sure wasn’t what she saw in the mirror before she left
for school in the mornings.  Moving to stand behind Beth Alyssa took in the
final photo.  This was one she didn’t remember being taken.  Alyssa was half
facing away from the camera and her head was turned, smiling over her
shoulder.  Her moss colored dress betrayed the setting.  That was
the
night.  The night everything started to fall apart.  In the picture only Alyssa
was clear—the background was digitally blurred.  The effect implying that
Alyssa and her smile was the only thing worth seeing.

She looked beautiful, and it wasn’t
her dress, or her hair and makeup.  It was that extra quality she’d been trying
to put her finger on.  Here it was much more pronounced.  Here she was able to
identify it.  Alyssa stumbled backwards two steps.  Beth caught her.

“What’s the matter?”  She sounded
concerned.

“That sonafabitch!”

“Alyssa?”  Beth was—understandably—panicking. 
“Okay, let’s get you out of here.”  She had to half drag Alyssa out of the
room.  All the while Alyssa was muttering unintelligibly but profanely under
her breath.

            Beth didn’t get any real information out of her
the entire drive home.  When Alyssa had a mental breakdown—she really did it
right.  Finally Beth pulled in front of Alyssa’s driveway.

            “Want me to come in awhile?”  Beth sounded
hopeful and hesitant at the same time.  Not that Alyssa blamed her.  Mental
breakdown, remember?

            “Nope.  Thanks for the ride, I had fun.” 
Breakdown or no, Alyssa still had manners.

            “Okay, well call me later, if you want to.” 

            Alyssa climbed out of the car and waved to Beth
as she drove off.  When the car was out of sight she turned on her heel and
marched straight over the Carter’s house. 

            Inside the familiar house was full of people. 
Mostly grownups that looked over dressed for a Saturday afternoon.  Alyssa
barely noticed them.  She stormed down the hallway pausing only for a moment at
the entrance to the family room—he wasn’t in there.  In the kitchen she
exchanged polite words with a girl she was reasonable certain she’d met
before.  Brent’s cousin, maybe?  Whatever, she said she remembered seeing him
outside and that was all Alyssa really cared about.

            Outside round tables with long white table
clothes were set up all over the backyard under different tents.  The big kind
that you rent for parties—which Alyssa realized this must be.  At the far end
of the yard Alyssa could see a band was setting up, and some sort of portable
dance floor was in front of them.  In a corner by the fence Alyssa spied Brent
standing at a small bar.  She was too angry with him to notice how incredible
he looked.  Suits were very kind to him.  Alyssa didn’t stop to think about
what she was going to say.  Surely if she stopped to think of anything at all
she would scare herself right over that fence and into the safety of her own
back yard.

            “Alyssa!”  Brent turned around just as she
reached him.  Confusion and maybe a little bit of hope filled his eyes.  “What
are you doin…”

            “You lied to me!”  Alyssa interrupted him

            “What!  No…”

            “You are a liar and I…”  Alyssa finished her
sentence into the palm of Brent’s hand.  People were staring, she realized. 

            “Come on.”  He closed one hand around her elbow
and dragged her into the house and up the stairs.  More people stared.

Inside his bedroom Alyssa lost the
nerve she’d been fostering since the community center.  At one time this was a
safe place for her, but now the room was filled with memories of her last
visit.  Alyssa stood nervously by Brent’s desk.  That was as far away from his
bed as she could manage.  Brent turned the lock on the door knob and turned to
face her.

They stared at each other.

“Who died?”  Alyssa finally
managed.

“What?”  

“Umm… all those people…I thought
maybe a wake?”  Alyssa fidgeted.

“Complete with a three piece band? 
It’s my Aunt Carol’s wedding.”  Alyssa’s eyes went wide at his explanation. 
“She didn’t want a big deal since it’s her second—mom said she could do it
here.”

“I didn’t know she was engaged.  I
probably shouldn’t have interrupted.”  Alyssa moved towards the door.

Brent was quicker.  “Oh, no.  Now
that you’re here you aren’t leaving.”  He was leaning against the door.  He
looked as panicked as she felt.

Another beat or two passed
silently.  “I’ve never lied to you Alyssa.”  His words came out slowly in a
forced calm voice.

“You did.  Before—when we were
still friends…”

“Still friends?”  Brent’s face
fell.  “Aren’t we friends now?  What happened to taking a break?”

“A break!  You haven’t called at
all.  It’s been months.”

“I called!  I called, and I came to
your house.  Alyssa, you wouldn’t let me through the front door.  You locked
the window!”  Brent shoved one hand through his hair.  “You can’t have any idea
what that was like for me.  When the window was locked—it was awful, Lyssa.  So
I figured I’d give you some time, but you never called.  And that day before
your softball game?  Running off on me the way you did?  It was worse that the
damn window.”

“I was late!”  Alyssa protested.

“You were early.  Really early!” 

How did he know that?  “How do you
know that?”

Brent shifted around where he was
standing.  “Beth told me.  I’m afraid I’ve been making a nuisance of myself
with her and Tommy.  I knew when the game was Lyssa.  I was there.”

“You were at the first softball
game?”

“I come to all your games.  I just
sit on the other team’s bleachers.  I wasn’t sure you’d want me there.  You are
amazing with those kids.”

Alyssa nodded.  He came to every
game.  Last fall he’d told her he would be at every game if she was playing a
sport.  She wasn’t playing, but she supposed this counted.

“Lyssa?  When did I lie to you?” 
Brent took a small step towards her, but then his eyes darted back to the
door.  As though he was afraid she might get by him, Brent retreated to
continue blocking the exit.

“I went to the community center
with Beth today.  I saw your exhibit.”

“Is that what this is about?  I
told you I was taking those photos!  You agreed!  You even signed the release
form.”

Alyssa did remember him making her
fill out some paperwork releasing any rights to the photos.

“I’m not mad about the photos. 
They’re great by the way—you were by far the most popular artist.”

“Thanks.”  His voice was
impatient.  He raised his eyebrows at her.

“At first I couldn’t figure it
out—why they were so good.  I mean you know I think you’re a great
photographer, but these…”

“Lyssa!”

“Right—well the thing is.  You said
you weren’t in love with me.  I asked you.  Right here in this room, and you
said no.  You laughed at me and sent me away.  Those photos… well it would seem
you do have some feelings for me.”  Alyssa muttered the last part, now she was
feeling pretty stupid.

Brent was struggling against the
smile at the corner of his mouth.  “I never said I didn’t have feelings for
you, Lyssa.  I believe I said I hadn’t been pining for you.  Which is true, was
true.  And I wasn’t laughing at you.  I was embarrassed.  I thought, well I
thought it was mutual—and then you apologized for leading me on!  I was
embarrassed and disappointed.”

Alyssa was just staring at him.  So
he started talking again.  “After Christmas, when Pop died—I thought maybe I
was wrong.  Maybe your feelings had changed too.  I waited weeks for you to
call.”  Brent seemed to have run out of things to say, or maybe he was just out
of breath.

“You punched Pete.” Alyssa changed
tactics.

“When Beth told me…”  Brent’s hands
curled into fists.  “I wanted to kill him, Lyssa.  If I had been with you…”

“It’s not your fault.  Nothing
happened.  I was drunk.”  Alyssa whispered.

“About that.  I understand why you
were mad.  But I didn’t know, I mean…”  He scrubbed a hand over his face. 
“When I woke up, and you were in my bed?  I thought you were trying to tell me
something.  I didn’t know you were drunk.  I get that you were mad—I took
advantage.  Unintentionally!  But I did.”

“I wasn’t mad.  I was just embarrassed.” 
Alyssa mumbled.  “You might have girls in your bed all the time, but I wasn’t
sure…I mean I’m sure it was great, but…”  She trailed off.

“Lyssa?”  Brent abandoned his post
at the door, and came to stand in front of her.  Not touching her, but close
enough for the air to buzz with implied intimacy.  “Lyssa, what do you think
happened?

Alyssa couldn’t believe he was
going to make her say it.  “I woke up in your bed, and in your shirt.”

“Oh Lyssa!  No, wonder you hated
me.”  Brent pulled her into a tight hug.  Wrapping his big arms around her
shoulders he continued to speak softly into her ear.  “You must have thought I
was just like Pete.  How could you?  Don’t you know me any better than that?”

“Didn’t we?”

“No!  I did think… I mean I was
still half asleep at first, but when I realized you’d been drinking, and your
arm!  Lyssa I couldn’t believe how bad it was.”  He pulled out of their embrace
enough to examine her now healed arm.  His big hand brushed lightly over the
areas that had been bruised.  “When I came back with the ice pack you’d umm…
stripped down to your underwear and you were almost asleep.  It was all I could
do to get a shirt on you before you were out.”

“We didn’t sleep together?”  Alyssa
was a little behind. 

“No.  But, but I wanted to Lyssa. 
It was very… difficult… to fall back asleep that night.  When I woke up and you
were gone—I thought it would kill me.  And when you wouldn’t even talk to me—I
could only take so much rejection Lyssa.”

“I wasn’t rejecting you!  I just…” 
Alyssa blew a strand of hair out of her face.  “Well apparently I have a
tendency to avoid things that are scary.”  She finished.

If Brent found anything amiss with
that explanation he wisely kept his piece about it.  “I scare you?”  A big slow
smile lit up his face.

“Is that good?  Do you want to be
scary?”  Alyssa thought he might be a little insane.  But at least being here
and talking to him was getting easier.  He was still Brent.

“I want to be something!  Lyssa if
I scare you at all, then that gives me some hope.  I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too.  All the time.” 
Alyssa took a deep breath.  “Just so I’m clear… are you saying that you do have
feelings for me?”

“It was that day at the hospital. 
Who’s the redheaded girl?  She was dressed like a ladybug.”

“You have feelings for Brittany? 
She’s in the tenth grade!”

Brent was laughing at her.  “No.  I
don’t.  But Brittany spent most of that afternoon sobbing over one kid or
another.  Hugging them and talking about how brave they were.  She was a total
downer.”

“Are you trying to change the
subject?”

“No.  Would you just listen?” 
Brent was grinning at her.  “You never cried or shied away.  That little boy? 
The one that wanted the spider web on his head?  You were his hero.  I was
blown away by you that day.  You were incredible.  That’s when I knew… that I
was completely, totally, and  irrevocably in love with you.”

“Oh.”  Alyssa didn’t have enough
breath to manage more than that one word.

“If I kiss you, are you going to
run screaming out the window?”  Brent was an inch away from her face.

“No.  I think if were to you kiss
me, I might be inclined to stay—quite a while.”  Alyssa teased.

Nothing happened.  They stood there
close enough to taste each other, but Brent never moved.

“Did you change your mind?”  Alyssa
finally pulled away from him.

“I think I am very nervous.”  Brent
chuckled and lowered himself into his desk chair pulling Alyssa down into his
lap.

“And here I thought you were mister
experience.”  Alyssa chuckled too.  It was such a relief to be able to tease
him again.

“Twice.”

“What?”  Alyssa wasn’t sure if he
wasn’t making sense, or if being this close to him was addling her brain.

“You seem to think that I
have
girls in my bed all the time.
It is hardly a part of my daily routine. 
Once over the summer—I met a girl when I went to the beach with my dad.  And
then last September Melissa’s parents went out of town for the weekend.”

“Well twice is still more than
me—how come you wouldn’t tell me when I asked before, and now you’re mister
details?”

“Because Lyssa… there are some
things I don’t think you should share with your friends, but that my girlfriend
deserves to know.”

            “And now I’m your girlfriend?” 

            “Is that weird?”  Brent pulled her even more
tightly to him.

            “Not a bit, now about that kiss…”  Alyssa
fluttered light kisses over his cheek closer and closer to his mouth.

“I hate that you have bad memories
of our first kiss.  I think this one needs to be very very good to make up for
it.”  Turning his head Brent closed the remaining distance.

It was the single most amazing kiss
in Alyssa’s memory.  His mouth slanted against hers, his tongue softly explored
the contours of her mouth.  She wanted to stay frozen in that moment forever. 
Someone knocked on the door.

“Brent?  Carol and Tim are
leaving.”

“Tell them bye for me, mom.”  Brent
reached for Alyssa again.  But she pulled away, suddenly nervous.  Brent
thought that was funny.

“Honey, is Alyssa in there with
you?”  Ms. Carter sounded worried.

“Yes, mom.  Lyssa came over to have
a talk.”  He was full on grinning now.  Alyssa wanted to crawl under the purple
stained rug.

“Okay then.  I’ll give your best to
Aunt Carol.”  She actually sounded relieved!  Not that she’d ever minded Alyssa
being in her son’s room before, but they’d never locked the door before either.

“Do you think she knows?”  Alyssa
whispered.

“Definitely.”   Brent kissed her again. 
“But I’m sure she prefers this to the alternative.  I haven’t been very easy to
live with lately.  So… how was it Chere?  Good enough to make up for the first
time?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe we should try
it again.”

            And then they didn’t have much else to talk
about.