Authors: Cathy Glass
Saving Danny (21 page)
‘Reva says Richard can’t accept there’s anything wrong with Danny,’ I said, feeling I needed to say something in their defence.
‘Then he has to discuss his worries with me,’ Terri said curtly. ‘I haven’t been able to see him yet. He’s always working. We’re all busy, but I would have thought that having your child in care should be pretty near the top of your priorities.’
I could see Terri was annoyed, and I knew that Richard had done his wife and child a great disservice by not making time to meet with her to discuss Danny.
‘Danny talks and communicates with you and your family?’ Terri now asked.
‘Yes, a little, in his way,’ I said. ‘It sometimes takes us a while to understand what he is saying, but we can usually work out what he wants. He’s far more fluent with George,’ I added with a smile.
Terri nodded. ‘I know. Reva said. Danny had some speech therapy before he went to school, but it was stopped. I think because Danny wouldn’t engage. His teacher thinks some more now he’s older would be helpful, and I’m inclined to agree. What do you think?’
‘Yes, I’m sure it would help,’ I said.
Terri made a note. ‘Does Danny have tantrums and meltdowns with you like he does at home and at school?’
‘Yes. Sometimes. I think it’s largely a result of frustration – not being able to express himself or understand what is required of him. He can easily become overloaded and panic. And possibly he’s scared. He’s had so many changes recently. He’s coping as best he can.’
‘I can tell you like him,’ Terri said, glancing up. ‘You’re making excuses for him.’
I was slightly surprised by her comment. ‘I don’t think Danny sets out to be naughty, he just can’t cope,’ I said. ‘He needs boundaries, as all children do. Of course we like Danny, we’re all growing very fond of him. And George,’ I added, for I could see Paula running up and down the garden happily with George and Danny.
‘And Danny is doing his homework – the targets from his education plan that Sue mentioned?’ Terri asked.
‘Yes, I have a copy of the plan and we have a home school book too. I’ll fetch his school bag.’ I knew that the child’s social worker usually liked to check on their school work when they visited. As I went down the hall to fetch Danny’s school bag the front door opened and Lucy let herself in.
‘Hello, love, have you had a good day?’ I asked her.
‘Not bad.’
‘Danny’s social worker is in the living room, and Danny and Paula are in the garden giving George a walk.’
‘I’ll join them,’ she said. She dropped her school bag in the hall and went out through the kitchen, calling hi to Terri as she went.
I returned to the living room and gave Terri Danny’s school bag, and then sat in the chair with the view of the garden. As Terri looked through Danny’s reading book, flash cards and the home school book, I watched Danny, Lucy, Paula and George in the garden. Although Danny couldn’t express his emotions, he was nevertheless, in his own way, bonding with my family, as we were with him. Words are not the only way we tell others how we feel; body language plays an important part too, and I could see that Danny was as relaxed and happy as he could be.
‘Have you seen what Danny’s teacher has written today?’ Terri asked, glancing up from the home school book.
‘No. Not yet.’
‘I’ll read it out,’ she said with a smile. ‘
Danny has been very enthusiastic in making friends today. He sat on a big table with other children for lunch, but he became a bit upset when they finished their meals first and went into the playground. Yvonne explained to Danny that friends don’t always do as we want them to, but they are still our friends
.’
I also smiled. ‘That’s nice. Yvonne is very good with Danny. She has endless patience and knows how to calm him.’
‘And her sense of humour must help,’ Terri said.
‘Absolutely,’ I agreed.
‘Here’s a copy of Danny’s care plan,’ Terri now said, passing the papers to me. ‘And I’ve set the date for Danny’s review. Two weeks on Wednesday at ten-thirty in the morning, so Danny can go to school as normal.’ I opened my diary and entered the date and time of Danny’s review. ‘I’ve informed Jill,’ Terri said. ‘I’ll send out the invitations tomorrow. Is it still all right to hold it here in your house? It seems appropriate.’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘That’s fine. Hopefully I’ll meet Danny’s father then.’
‘Hopefully I’ll have met him by then,’ Terri said pointedly. ‘He’s a bit elusive. I think that’s everything then. So unless there is anything you want to say we’ll bring Danny in now so I can have a chat with him.’
We stood and went out through the kitchen. Terri waited on the patio and called, ‘Hello, Danny! Nice to see you again. How are you doing?’
I saw Danny start slightly at hearing her voice, but he didn’t turn or look at her. He squatted down and stroked George. The girls were close by. Terri shivered, having left her coat indoors. ‘Let’s go inside, Danny,’ she called to him. ‘It’s cold out here. I want to talk to you. Nice rabbit.’
Danny concentrated on George and ignored her.
‘I think we have to go in now,’ I heard Lucy say to Danny, but he shook his head.
George, who’d had a good run, was now sitting contentedly nibbling grass.
‘Come and tell me all about your rabbit!’ Terri tried again from the patio. ‘I spoke to your mother this morning, Danny, and you’re seeing her again tomorrow. That’s nice, isn’t it?’ Although Terri was well meaning and trying to engage with Danny, I thought she was giving him too much information to process all at once, so it was easier for him to do nothing. But I could also see that there was a touch of obstinacy in his refusal to come in or even acknowledge her.
‘Come on, Danny, let’s go in, it’s cold,’ Lucy said, and she and Paula began up the lawn towards us.
Danny stayed where he was, head down and stroking George. Clearly we couldn’t stay out here forever and Danny needed to do as he’d been asked, so leaving Terri on the patio I went down the lawn to Danny. Although he had his head down I stood in front of him so I was in his peripheral vision where he could at least see my feet and legs. ‘Danny, we are going indoors now. It’s time to put George in his hutch. Do you want to put George in his hutch or shall I?’
‘Me,’ he said without hesitation. Straightening, he began up the lawn towards the house, with George following.
‘Mum’s very good with children,’ Lucy said to Terri.
‘I can see that,’ Terri said. I didn’t explain to her the magic of the closed choice.
Inside, we took off our shoes, which were wet from the grass, but Danny kept his coat firmly on. I decided not to make an issue of it; he’d done as I’d asked in putting George away, so he could stay in his coat for now if he wished. Guiding children’s behaviour is always a balancing act between what they have to do and what can be reasonably let go and accommodated. Lucy and Paula disappeared upstairs, and Danny came with me and Terri into the living room. Adrian would be home later, having stayed for chess club after school. I took some toys out of Danny’s toy box, including the cars he’d been playing with previously, and arranged them on the floor. He sat by them and began playing with a lorry, silently pushing it round in circles. Social workers usually spend some time alone with the child when they visit, so that the child has the opportunity to talk about issues they may not feel comfortable voicing in front of their carer. Now Danny was settled and playing, I asked Terri, ‘Do you want to speak to Danny alone?’
‘Yes, please,’ she said.
‘Danny, Terri is going to talk to you for a while,’ I said. ‘I will be in the kitchen making dinner.’
He didn’t look up but concentrated on pushing the toy lorry in the same circle. He didn’t appear distressed, so telling him again that I would be in the kitchen, I went out of the living room, pulling the door to behind me but not completely closing it. I fed Toscha and then began peeling vegetables, but two minutes later I heard Terri call from the living room: ‘Cathy! Can you come? There’s been an accident.’
I immediately went in to find Danny standing in a puddle of urine.
Chapter Eighteen
I cleaned Danny, reassured him that he’d done nothing wrong and then left him in his bedroom to change into clean clothes while I took his wet clothes downstairs and put them in the washing machine. I filled a bucket with warm water, added disinfectant and went into the lounge where Terri was writing up her notes.
‘Does Danny wet himself often?’ she asked as I scrubbed the carpet.
‘No. This is the first time since he’s been with me,’ I said.
‘I guess he was worried by my visit,’ she said.
‘I guess he was,’ I agreed.
Terri left soon after, calling goodbye to Danny from the hall as she went. Usually the child’s social worker looked at the child’s bedroom when they visited, but I think Terri realized that wasn’t appropriate now and might upset Danny further. He came downstairs once she’d gone and played silently in the living room with his toys while Paula watched television. He didn’t seem very interested in television and often ignored it if it was on. After dinner I talked to him again about Terri’s role, but he looked sad and, at one point, close to tears. It would take time for him to trust her and appreciate she was trying to help him and his parents – for now, though, Terri was the reason he couldn’t be at home.
The following day, Tuesday, Danny was very quiet after contact, and the same was true after contact on Thursday. I asked him both times if there was anything worrying him, but he shook his head, either unable or not wanting to tell me. His behaviour at school deteriorated during the week too, and the social start he’d made on Monday – where he’d wanted to make friends with everyone – disappeared. He didn’t join in any class activities and kept his distance from the other children. He spent most of his time with Yvonne or the other classroom assistant, drawing and painting patterns or creating them out of anything that came to hand. As I’d told Terri, Danny could see patterns everywhere and appeared to depend on them for comfort. I suppose there is something comforting in a pattern, where their repetition is reliable and guaranteed. Much safer to know which shape or colour comes next, compared to the unpredictability and randomness of life’s events.
At home with us Danny spent nearly all his time (when he wasn’t with George) making patterns. He arranged his toy cars in an increasing circle, with over thirty vehicles spiralling out from the centre, the smallest in the middle and the largest – the buses, lorries and road diggers – nose to tail on the outer ring. He took out the Lego again but now created a pattern of squares within squares instead of parallel lines. There were three boxes of coloured dominoes in his toy box and he emptied out the tiles and laid them end to end to create a giant triangle of colour and number sequences. The children and I often offered to play with him but he wasn’t interested, preferring to play by himself. I also noticed that when Danny was in the garden with George he walked in patterns: a circle, a figure of eight and a large square, which he dissected by crossing from corner to corner. Possibly he’d always done this, but it couldn’t have been as pronounced as it was that week or I would have noticed it before.
I made a note of Danny’s behaviour in my fostering log and also that he was very quiet and withdrawn. When I mentioned to Reva that Danny seemed rather quiet she said he’d been like that during contact, and also compliant – doing exactly what he’d been told – which she’d taken as a positive sign. I didn’t want to worry Reva, but I knew from years of fostering that children in care often believe that if they’re very ‘good’ they will be allowed to go home. Was this what Danny was thinking? That if he was quiet and obedient he could return home? If a child believes he or she is responsible for being in care, they carry a huge burden of guilt, not only about their own fate but that of their parents too. When the opportunity arose I had a chat with Danny. ‘Love, lots of children live with foster carers like me,’ I said. ‘It is to help their mummies and daddies. The children haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not their fault they are in foster care.’
He didn’t reply – I hadn’t expected him to – but I would repeat the message from time to time as I had with other children I’d fostered.
Late Friday morning Reva telephoned and she was angry. ‘That bloody social worker!’ she stormed. ‘She’s threatening us with a court order if we don’t have Danny assessed by the educational psychologist! Richard is furious and I agree with him. How dare she! We placed Danny in care voluntarily. I needn’t have done so. I could have carried on as I was and no one would have been any the wiser.’
That wasn’t actually true, for Danny’s teacher had raised concerns, so it would only have been a matter of time before Reva and Richard had been asked to attend a meeting with a social worker. But I could understand why Reva was angry; she was frightened at the prospect of losing Danny for good.
I was about to say something conciliatory when she said, ‘Richard agrees that we should remove Danny from foster care while we still can. I don’t want you to collect him from school this afternoon. I’ll go and bring him home. I’ll collect his belongings from you another time. If necessary we’ll move out of the area.’
‘That won’t help, Reva,’ I said.
‘Why not?’ she demanded. ‘He’s our child. We can do what we like.’
You can’t, I thought, but didn’t say. ‘Reva, calm down and listen to me, please. If you take Danny out of care now, without the agreement of his social worker, the social services will go straight to court and apply for an Interim Care Order. He’ll be back in care immediately and you will have little say in the matter.’
‘They can’t do that!’ she snapped.
‘They can if they have concerns for the child,’ I said.
‘Why? Because Richard refused to meet with Terri and doesn’t want his child seeing a shrink!’
‘Well …’ I hesitated, ‘there are other concerns as well, aren’t there?’
‘Like what?’
‘Your drinking, Danny’s social isolation. Also, you weren’t coping before, which is why you put Danny into care.’ It sounded harsh, but Reva needed to understand the gravity of the situation if she removed Danny from care.
