Saving Ben (13 page)

“Okay, fine. Then I have a question for you.” I turned toward her. “Why is it that Ben deserves to hear the truth about your father but I had to hear it from Honey?”

“Because she didn’t think you’d be very accepting of her situation,” Ben interjected. “I tried to tell her she was wrong about you, Kitty, that you are not a judgmental person, but I’m not so sure anymore.”

“You’ve been trying to keep us apart from the beginning,” Emma mumbled, playing the poor, pitiful victim.

I looked back and forth between the two of them. Ben hung his head and watched his feet as he paced, while Emma bit her lower lip to keep from smiling, clearly enjoying herself. She’d picked the most vulnerable person on campus to be her ally, the one guy who was truly in love with her.

“That’s because I had this sick feeling a relationship between the two of you might end in disaster. Turns out I was right. You
are
a liar and a manipulator.”

Ben stopped pacing and looked up at me. “Wait a minute. If you think she manipulated me, you’re wrong. I was a willing participant.”

“What about Mom? She was also a willing participant in having her friends write letters on Emma’s behalf. She’s going to be pissed when she finds out Emma disgraced her.”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t waste my time worrying about how Mom feels.” Ben pointed his finger at me. “Mom’s the manipulator. She manipulated you right into coming to UVA and you were too stupid to realize it.”

“So now we’re getting somewhere.” I turned to him. “You’ve been hiding something about my application to UNC and I want to know what it is.” I grabbed his arm. “Tell me.”

Ben jerked his arm away. “You want to know the truth? Okay, here it is. Dad had plenty of contacts to help you get in UNC. He just never used any of them. Mom wanted you to be a Chi Delta at UVA, and you know how she always gets her way.”

“You’re lying,” I screamed, pushing him backward. He stumbled into the chair behind him, knocking the chair out of the way enough for me to see what was hidden underneath.

“So you’re doing drugs now?” I reached for the mirror before Ben could get to it. He tried to grab it away from me, but I turned my back on him, lifting the mirror to my lips and blowing the white powder all over the room.

“What the fuck? Have you lost your mind?” Ben’s whole body quivered in his effort to control himself. I’d seen him this mad before, just never at me.

“You can thank me tomorrow.” I wiped the mirror with my sleeve and handed him the rolled-up dollar bill. “See. This is all her fault.” I pointed at Emma. “Like father, like daughter.”

Emma smirked. “Maybe so, little Kitty Cat. My dad might not have been successful, but he wasn’t stupid. After all, where’d you think I got my brains? College life is full of pressures, and there’s nothing wrong with a little numbing agent to kill the pain. Why not take advantage of the opportunity and earn a little money in the process?”

I ignored Emma and pleaded with my brother, “She’s a bad influence on you, Ben. I mean, come on. Drugs? That’s not who you are.”

“You don’t really know a thing about who I am. We’re in college, Kitty. We’re supposed to experiment with drugs.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not going to stand by and watch her drag you down.”

“Fine, then leave.” He opened the door. “Emma’s been right about you all along. You
are
naïve. Time to grow the fuck up, Katherine.” Coming from Ben, the use of my given name was the worst kind of insult. I was no longer his little sister. I was a stranger to him.

I held the mirror up in front of Ben’s face so he could see himself. “If this is what grown-up looks like, then no thanks.” I turned around and tossed the mirror on the sofa beside Emma, catching a glimpse of her smug expression.

“
You
will get what’s coming to you,” I said to her, and then to Ben, “And
you
know where to find me when you come to your senses.”

Her voice was reassuring. “This is just something Ben has to work through on his own. Go ahead and pledge Tri Beta. It will not only help take your mind off of your problems with your brother, it’ll give you your own piece of UVA you won’t have to share with Emma.”

I inhaled a deep breath. “Pledging a sorority is a big decision. If only I had some time to think about it, considering everything that happened tonight.”

“What’s there to think about?”

“I feel like a part of me is only doing this to get back at my mother.”

“Of course it is. For the past six years, your motto has been Make Mom Pay. So set that aside, and look at the real issue. You like the girls at Tri Beta the best, right?”

“True, but . . .”

“But what? Come on, Kitty. What is it that you’re not saying?”

“I like the Tri Beta girls here, but what if I transfer to UNC?” I blurted, feeling an immediate release in just saying the words. I’d unlocked the cage door and set my feelings free, ones I’d been suppressing for a long time for fear of rejection.

“Wait a sec.” Archer groaned, and I could tell she was struggling to sit up in bed. “Are you seriously considering that?”

“Honestly, I didn’t realize it until just now, but I guess I am.”

“Then do it! And don’t worry about the sorority thing. My sister’s roommate is a Tri Beta at UNC.”

“I love Becca! Okay . . . so that makes me feel a whole lot better.”

“You need to
stop
worrying about pledging Tri Beta and
start
figuring out how you’re going to get back at that Honey bitch.”

“That, my friend, has already been taken care of.”

“Shut up! What’d you do?”

“After I left Ben’s room, I found her pretty little pink convertible Volkswagen in the parking garage and let all the air out of her tires.”

We laughed so hard that by the time we hung up five minutes later, I felt calm enough to sleep.

Emma didn’t come back to our room that night, or the next, or even the night after that. But when I returned from dinner Monday evening, her suitcase was gone from her closet along with most of her clothes. The only things missing of mine were my Virginia sweatshirt and a worn flannel tunic I liked to wear to class with leggings and Uggs. She’d never borrowed either before. She didn’t take them because she wanted them; she took them because they were my favorites. I removed my diamond stud earrings from my jewelry case, slipped them into a small leather satchel, and hid them in my tennis racquet case along with my sunscreen and a travel package of tissues.

***

Mom and Dad hounded me with phone calls during the next two weeks, but I ignored them, even Blessy when she left a message scolding me for being so disrespectful to my parents. Then, on Wednesday morning during the last week of January, I returned to my room from my nine o’clock English class to find my parents waiting for me. The visit was so unexpected my immediate thought was that something had happened to Abigail.

“We didn’t mean to alarm you,” my father reassured me. “From what we hear, Abigail is doing well in her treatment in Baltimore.”

“That poor, sweet child should not have to suffer so much.” My mother dabbed at her dry eyes with my father’s linen handkerchief. “But Katherine, by refusing to return any of our calls, you left us no choice but to come up here and see what was going on for ourselves.”

My father nodded his agreement. “I think your mother deserves an explanation. Don’t you?” he asked me.

I dumped my backpack on my bed and turned around to face them. “As much as I deserve an explanation about my application to UNC.” He looked surprised, and I added, “That’s right, Dad. I know all about how you chose not to use your connections to help me get in to the college of my dreams.”

My father dropped to the bed, as if suddenly burdened by a ton of bricks. “Who told you?” he asked. Before I could respond, he said, “Of course, Ben. Let me ex—”

“No, let me,” my mother interrupted him. “I’m the one responsible for that, not your father. I wanted you to experience what I experienced during the happiest time in my life. Was it so wrong of me to want my only daughter to follow in my footsteps?” She brought her hand to my face and ran her fingers along my cheek. “I wanted us to share the wonderful sisterhood of Chi Delta.”

My mother was so sincere and humble, I almost felt sorry for her. Almost. “I’m pretty sure Chi Delta has a chapter at UNC,” I said, brushing her hand away from my face.

Her face scrunched up in thought, as though she’d never considered it before. “That would not have been the same and you know it. Honey said—”

“Wait a minute.” I took a step back, away from my mother. “You talked to Honey? What did you do, call her?”

“As a matter of fact,
she
called
me
. Honey is very disappointed that things worked out the way they did.” Mom stepped toward me, regaining the lost territory between us, and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “It’s a big decision, and I’m sure you were feeling overwhelmed when you made it. Honey is in a position to change this if—”

“That’s not going to happen, Mom.” I ducked out from beneath her arm. “This wonderful sisterhood you keep talking about isn’t so wonderful anymore, the way it was when you were president.”

“What do you mean?”

I didn’t have the energy to explain something to my mother she’d never understand. In her mind, people aspired to be like Honey, shallow and self-important. I was curious, though, to know how much Honey had told her about Emma’s situation.

“What did she tell you about Emma?” I asked, scrutinizing my mother’s face for her reaction.

Her eyes narrowed and she smiled a tight smile. “The numbers aren’t in Emma’s favor this year. According to Honey, they have too many legacies that they’re obligated to accept.”

I wasn’t surprised Honey had spared my mother’s feelings. After all, Mom is a respected alumna who gives a hefty sum to their annual giving campaign every year. What surprised me, though, was that my mother believed Honey’s lies.

“Oh really? So Honey encouraged her to try again next semester?” I asked.

“Katherine, you have to understand that these girls are threatened by Emma, by her beauty. It makes some women feel bad about themselves to have a person like Emma around, a person who has it all.”

I stared, openmouthed, at my mother. It was as clear as the smug expression on her face that she actually believed this. I had no intention of adding to her self-righteousness by being the one to tell her that her protégé was dating her son.

“She has it all except enough decency to be honest with those who support her,” I said under my breath.

“I beg your pardon?” she asked.

“Never mind, Mother. I have another class in thirty minutes.” I removed my English anthology book from my backpack and replaced it with my biology book from my desk. I actually had the rest of the afternoon free, but my parents didn’t know that. “If only you’d called first, I could’ve warned you not to come. I have back-to-back classes all day.”

My father stood and smoothed the wrinkles out of his khakis. “Can we at least take you to lunch? We can walk around campus and wait for you until your class is over.”

“I don’t have time for lunch. Or anything left to say.” Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I started toward the door but turned back around. “Actually, there is something you need to know. From now on I’m making my own decisions. For your information, I’m very happy with my choice to pledge Tri Beta, and I have no intention of changing sororities. As far as schools go, it’s too late to do anything about it now, but next fall I may apply for a transfer to UNC for my junior year. This time I won’t be asking for your help.”

My parents stopped calling after that, although I did receive a handwritten letter from my father apologizing for his part in sabotaging my application to Chapel Hill. He explained how he was only trying to make my mother happy. But that much I already knew.

I didn’t see Ben again until mid-February when Phoebe and I found ourselves seated ten rows back from him at a Hoos basketball game. Spotty and Reed sat to Ben’s right while Emma occupied the seat to his left. She was feeding him popcorn and rubbing his arm and laying her head on his shoulder. She was the picture of an attentive girlfriend until a dark-hair hottie sat down in the empty seat next to her. For the rest of the first half, she was so busy flirting with the Channing Tatum look-alike, she ignored my brother completely. Ben stormed off at the beginning of halftime. And when he didn’t return by the middle of the third quarter, Emma left as well, presumably to go look for him.

I ran into Spotty and Reed after the game, while I was waiting for Phoebe outside the ladies’ restroom. “What the heck is up with Ben and Emma?” I asked them. “Their little scene was more entertaining than the game.”

Spotty and I had been in constant communication with one another since my argument with Ben. Even though we agreed there wasn’t much we could do to help him, staying in touch was at least something.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Kitty,” Spotty said. “It’s always like that between them.”

“Yep. Better than the
Jerry Springer Show,
” Reed added.

“Great.” I rolled my eyes. “Must be a boatload of fun to be around. How do y’all stand it?”

“It’s the worst kind of pain in the ass you can imagine,” Reed said, disgusted. “She’s the thing that won’t leave. Every time Prima Donna Emma wants to take a shower, your brother has to clear everyone out of the bathroom. You can imagine how well that goes over in a house full of men.”