Saving Alexander (6 page)

Chapter 7

Melanie van Pelt regarded the man sitting opposite her with thoughtful eyes. In her three years as Alexander Montgomery’s therapist she’d never quite seen him as fidgety or anxious as he was now. She wondered what had changed in his life to orchestrate such a change.

Melanie leaned forward, toying with the pen she held. “So, Alex. It’s been a little longer than usual since I saw you. What’s been happening in your life since we last spoke?”

Alex didn’t look at her directly as he usually would but instead sat back on the soft leather couch, looking at her hands rather than her face, his long legs crossed at the ankles and his arms folded across his chest in a classic defensive pose.

“Well, I’m still seeing Eric.” He hesitated before going on. “I needed to see him more than usual this week.”

“More than once? That’s not a step forward. What’s going on?”

Alex sighed, finally looking up at Melanie, his eyes shadowed. “I had the dream again. And the whole TV series thing has got me a bit spooked. It’s one thing writing novels in the solitude of my apartment but now I have to interact with people every day. It’s a little overwhelming.”

Melanie shook her head. “We talked about this. You felt you’d be all right with the whole public thing. Something else has driven you to this, not just your sudden visibility.” She leaned back in her chair. “Have you met someone? That’s normally a trigger of your need to self-punish more.”

Alex shook his head vehemently. “No, I’m not involved with anyone.”

Melanie could tell Alex was not being particularly truthful. She’d known him too long, too intimately. She sighed. “Something or someone
has
triggered this. You may not realise it yet but I can see it from the outside. Who have you met recently that’s making you feel this way?”

Alex clamped his lips together mutinously, saying nothing.

Melanie knew better than to push him. “Tell me about the dream,” she asked quietly. “Were you back at Bohemia with Rudy?”

Alex flinched, his eyes closing momentarily. “Yes,” came back the whispered reply. “I was in the dungeon again. Rudy was there with me.” He swallowed, his voice breaking. “I woke up and couldn’t remember my dream but the memories it brought back were so vivid I couldn’t sleep. I wanted Eric there with his whip. What kind of monster does that make me?” His voice was harsh.

Melanie sighed. “Alex, you aren’t the monster. Rudy was the monster. You were a seventeen-year-old boy. He broke you down until there was nothing left but what he wanted. You’re stronger than that now. You know you are. It takes time to break down eight solid months of abuse.”

Despite her professionalism, Melanie’s heart broke as she saw the desperation in Alex’s eyes. She was glad that cult-leader bastard was dead. What he had done to this young man was beyond despicable.

“I just want to be normal.” Alex’s words were flat and dead. “I want to be able to have a normal relationship with a man that doesn’t involve the things Eric does to me. But I can’t. I’m not capable of it.”

Melanie felt a stirring of unease. Alex had been doing so well but all of a sudden he seemed to have regressed. She had to find out what lay beneath it.

“Alex. Tell me about the last couple of weeks. I remember you telling me at our last session you were planning some auditions for your TV series. How did that turn out?”

She didn’t miss the flicker of animation that appeared in Alex’s eyes at her words. This was something she definitely needed to pursue.

Alex swallowed. “It went very well. We held the auditions and chose the leads. We start filming in two weeks’ time.”

“Who are the leads? Anyone I’d know?” Melanie acted nonchalant but she knew in her bones this was the key to Alex’s current predicament.

Alex was quiet for a while, twisting his hands and watching the play of knuckles as he flexed his hands. “The female lead is Dianne Cunningham. I’m sure you know who she is. She’s been in quite a few films. The lead man’s name is Christopher Sage. You’ve probably seen him in the TV series
Dalton Hospital
and the remake of
King Solomon’s Mines
that aired recently.”

Melanie did indeed know the young actor. He’d been making quite a splash in the newspapers and gossip magazines now that he was single and eligible again. He was also gay. She chuckled, trying to ease the tension in the room. “He’s very personable, I must say. Very good-looking and a great actor to boot. You must be pleased he’s playing one of your characters.”

Alex nodded and looked up at Melanie, a slight smile on his face. “I am. He’s perfect for the part and I think he’ll bring my work to life. He’s very professional and he seems to really like my books. He said he’d read all three.”

Melanie felt they were finally getting to the heart of the matter. Alex felt something more for this man than he was ready to reveal. In the past, when Alex became interested in someone, the spiral downward began.

Melanie had always had the feeling Alex held something back from her. It frustrated her that she’d never managed to get to the bottom of it. “I suppose you’ve spent some time with him. What’s he like?”

Alex shrugged. “He seems very down to earth, very charming. He keeps horses.”

Melanie nodded. “I see, an animal lover. Well, that makes him all right in my book. Animals always know a cad when they see one.” She grinned at Alex, who relaxed slightly and smiled back for the first time since the session began.

“You’ll be working quite closely together then, I imagine. How do you feel about that?” Melanie watched Alex’s face closely. She didn’t miss the faint softening of his face as Alex thought about her question.

“I think it’ll be okay. We’ve already had our first little spat when he told me he was googling me and couldn’t find anything. I might have overreacted but I called him to apologise.” Alex smiled

Melanie nodded. “You know they shouldn’t be able to find anything under your current name as it was all kept so quiet, but I know you had worries before you started writing the books.”

“You know me, Mel. I can deflect with the best of them.” Alex’s voice was hard and steely. “The need I have for Eric is my own. No one deserves to know about that. It’s what keeps me going in the normal world.”

“You are capable of a fulfilling sexual relationship with a lover, Alex. You’ve done it before even if it didn’t quite work out.” Melanie said gently.

“Yes, I know. But no man is going to take me on full time when he finds out I visit an S-and-M club that specialises in bondage and whipping.” He laughed bitterly. “‘Babe, I’m home. Just don’t mind the whip marks and the bite marks on my behind or my stomach or the stench of another man inside me.’ What man could share that with me?” He was quiet then spoke again, more resigned. “Until I can get the need to be punished out of me, there’s no point in starting any type of relationship. It’s just not fair on the other man.” Alex looked at his silver Armani watch. “I’m five minutes over, shame on you. You might have someone out there chewing off their fingers because they feel unloved.”

His tone was wry but Melanie sensed the slight edge to it. He stood up, stretching his arms. “I’ll see you next week, same time, same place then. Thanks, Melanie.”

Melanie nodded as Alex disappeared out the back door, then sighed. She felt a little worried about Alex’s regression. She’d write up her notes later. She had the video of the session. Perhaps she’d watch it later and try to come up with a strategy Alex might use to deal with his current change of situation, she thought as she went out to the front office to welcome her next patient.

“Mr. Smith? Won’t you come in? I’m terribly sorry I’m late.”

Chapter 8

Christopher Sage sat in the Moorcroft Films studio office, his long legs propped up on the desk as he read the week’s filming schedule. He had to admit so far it all seemed to be going like clockwork. He’d been here two weeks now and was really getting into the part. He looked up as his co-star, Dianne Cunningham, came in.

She grinned when she saw him. “Sage, those feet of yours are going to get you into a ton of trouble. You know how possessive Luke is about that antique desk. And here you are with your great big clodhoppers all over it. “

He smiled. “These boots are clean. Stop worrying.”

She smiled slyly as she studied his boots. “Tell me. Is it true what they say about men with big feet? Do they really have big dicks?”

She chuckled as he went pink. “God, you are the only man I’ve ever met who blushes. What the hell are you going to do when we hit the sex scenes? Are you going to self-combust and take me with you?”

He scowled at her. “Thanks for that. I’ll be fine. I’m a professional too, remember? I’ll manage to keep it on track.” He waggled his eyebrows at her comically.

She spluttered with laughter. “God, please don’t do that to me on set, I’ll die laughing.”

Sage chuckled. The actress leaned toward him, kissing his cheek briefly.

“You are such a darling. I love working with you. You’re incredible.”

Sage watched her affectionately as she darted around the office like a hummingbird. She was a real character. Lithe, attractive, blonde and a consummate professional. It was easy to be good in a part when you had a co-star like Dianne.

Dianne flitted over to him, her eyes mischievous as she perched on the desk. He could see her rather striking cleavage and the freckles on her throat and he averted his eyes.

Dianne looked at him in amusement. “So tell me. What do you think of Alexander?”

Sage was a little discomfited by the question. During the past two weeks, he’d seen Alex, but the writer had been aloof. Civil enough, but Sage couldn’t seem to get to know him better, despite all his very considerable efforts.

He didn’t think anyone on set had made any inroads in getting to know him. “He’s very professional and seems to be fairly well liked by everyone.”

He trailed off as Dianne shook her head. “No. I mean what do you think of him as a man? Do you find him attractive? None of the other gay guys on set have managed to get more than a little smile out of him despite their best efforts. They even doubt that he’s gay at all.”

Sage frowned. “Christ, Dianne, I’m not going to talk about someone I hardly know like that. It’s a little unfair, don’t you think? Besides, given the state of that lot out there,” he gestured with his hand, “I’d say not being able to get him in their sights is no reflection on Alex, more on them. They can be a bunch of randy pillocks.” He scowled fiercely.

Dianne batted him playfully on his arm. “Come on. Surely you’ve thought about it, getting him into the sack?”

He shook his head, not wanting to admit he had indeed had those thoughts about Alex. They generally involved him moving up and down Alex’s body slowly, tasting every inch of him, sucking whatever he had beneath the chinos Alex favoured and then finally plunging himself inside the man as he cried out Sage’s name in sheer ecstasy.

“Well, I’m not one of the other guys,” he lied. “He seems to want his privacy, and to be honest, I can see why if you’re all talking about him behind his back.” He stood up and heard a noise at the door. He turned to see Alex standing there, a strange expression on his face.

“Thank you, Sage,” Alex said quietly. “I appreciate you fighting in my corner for me.”

Dianne laughed softly. “Honey, it’s just office gossip, nothing more. This is show business. You get used to people talking about you. Even Sage knows that’s true. You’ve been talked about in the past, haven’t you?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. “But it’s all in good fun, I promise.”

She stood up and walked past him out of the office.

Sage looked at Alex, whose face was paler than normal. “You need to ignore their gossip. They’re bloody vicarious. Don’t let it worry you.”

Sage’s heart ached at the lost look on Alex’s face. He’d never seen anyone look so—abandoned. He moved over to him instinctively, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Alex hissed in pain, jerking away. “Please don’t touch me.” His voice was low.

Sage stepped back in confusion. He’d only just touched Alex lightly, nothing to warrant such a reaction. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Alex turned away to stare out of the window. “I have a slight injury to my shoulder. It wasn’t your fault. I just don’t like being touched.”

Sage sighed. “I seem to have a habit of upsetting you. I promise you it’s not intentional.”

Alex turned back, looking at him with those incredible eyes. Sage’s chest tightened. Where he’d thought he might see disdain he saw something else entirely. Affection.

Alex shook his head. “Sage, you’re great. It’s me that’s the problem. I’m a little complicated, I’m afraid. Some would say peculiar.” He smiled.

Sage grinned back. “You look fine to me,” he murmured. “You look even better when you smile. You should do it more often.”

“I’m trying, I’m really trying.” Alex’s voice sounded tired suddenly and the camaraderie that Sage had seen just a few moments ago dissipated. But a slight grin remained on Alex’s face. “I promise you I’m not into women though.
That’s
not one of my vices.”

Sage thought Alex’s voice sounded rather droll, as if there was a hidden message in there.

“Glad to hear it,” Sage murmured. “That’d be a real waste for men like me everywhere.”

Even as he said it, he marvelled at the fact that he was actually managing to flirt with this very unusual man. Alex’s quiet chuckle at his words made the hairs on Sage’s arms stand up and his erection grow.

Christ, what this man did to him. He hadn’t had a boner like this in a while.

Sage tried to ease the growing turmoil in his groin by walking over to the window and gazing down into the street. Alex moved up behind him, touching his arm gently. A charge like a slow flick of fire licked against the skin under Sage’s shirt.

Alex spoke softly. “The reason I came in here was to tell you Luke was looking for you. He and Janine had a script change they wanted to run by you. They’re in the staff room.”

Sage nodded, moving over to the door, brushing past Alex as he did so. He was sensually aware of the stubble on Alex’s chin and the scent of his aftershave, something spicy, a smell that teased Sage’s nostrils and made him extremely horny. Not for the first time he cursed the fact that a man’s primal reaction to someone he found attractive could happen at the most inopportune of places and times. Sage found Luke and Janine sitting poring over a wad of documents in the studio staff room.