Saved By The Doctor (BWWM Romance) (14 page)

He gulped then turned to keep walking. “Yeah, we kind of drifted apart when I moved to California,” he replied.

“When was that?” she asked, because if he had been in New York, that would explain how she knew him.

“About four years ago.”

Jackie nodded. “Four years. That’s so soon,” she muttered.

He glanced at her. “What are you talking about?” he demanded.

“I know you from somewhere.”

“That’s impossible.” He practically spat the words.

Jackie kept her head down as she struggled to put her head together. She let her eyes flicker shut as she replayed his voice in her head over and over again. It smelt like beer and cigarettes and tasted like tequila. It sounded like house music and looked like strobe lights. She sucked in a shallow breath. That scar on her forehead tingled. A pang shot through that space in between her legs. “No. I think it is possible. In fact, it is probably quite probable,” she replied, trying to speak around that lump in her throat.

“Why are you obsessed with finding out how you know me anyway?” he demanded.

Jackie narrowed her eyes. “Because I think you already know.” As soon as she spoke that truth, another more devastating truth came to the surface.

He shook his head, and turned to keep walking. “It’s not important. I probably met you at a bar or something.”

Jackie rushed to catch up with him. “If it’s not important, then why are you so tense?” she demanded as she caught up with him.

“I’m not tense,” he replied defensively.

“I can see your muscles trembling,” she replied.

He stopped in his tracks. “Okay, what do you want me to say?” he demanded.

“That we met at the Roxie, on the dance floor.” She could hardly say those words without that terrible night replaying itself in her head.

He shook his head. “That was impossibly long ago.”

But Jackie kept going. Her heart pounded at this opportunity to confront her past. “I was wearing a blue dress and my hair was straight. You came up to me almost as soon as I had walked in and we danced. I remember liking you,” she smiled. It was odd, remembering those moments of happiness before the annihilation. “I remember really wanting to go home with you that night, but I was drunk… and I knew I was drunk, so I held myself back, but then you got impatient. You tried to force a drink on me,” Jackie stood stock still with her eyes closed. It was the first time she had consciously tried to remember the whole night; the first time that she was not going to run away from it and confront her past, freeing herself in the process. “So I ran away. I went outside and you kept saying all of those things to me. You kept trying to convince me to go home with you even though you knew you had already ruined your chances with me.”

You.

You.

You.

That word, that confrontation, that recognition was enough to make her rage just as much as she did that morning in that hospital bed, facing her parents and telling them that she had broken the law. She had gotten drunk at 19 years old and gone to a club. She had solicited the affections of a man and it had backfired. In all of those years, all of those wonderful moments with Laila… and with Allan, that rage had not frozen over. It had not gone anywhere and she feared it never would.

Tears streamed down her face as she continued to remember, continued to acknowledge. “You dragged me down that empty road and pushed me into an alley. I continued to beg with you even though I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. You had decided that you wanted me. That you would use me. There was nothing I could have done to stop it. I was stuck and lost… and gone. You ripped my favorite dress. I still have it though. You ripped my favorite dress and you fucked me. You raped me.” Her voice broke in the end.

There was no more she could say.

She was spent.

“I’m so sorry. I know it's no excuse but it was a really bad time for me back then. I was on coke and Oxys, and totally fucked up. The reason I moved to California four years ago was to get into rehab,” he whispered.

“There is no amount of sorrow-“ she replied, her voice rough and breaking.

“But I am so sorry.”

She shook her head. “I’ve already forgiven you. For years I hated you and what you did to me, but I realized the only way to move on with my life and not be imprisoned by my past was forgiveness… and your daughter-“ she started.

His gasp stopped her in her tracks.

Of course he wouldn’t know. How could he have?

But she kept going. “Your daughter will one day learn about how she was conceived, and she’ll forgive you too. Consider yourself lucky.”

Jerry was frozen, because never in a million years would he ever had presumed that his mistake of the past had become Jackie and Allan’s complete future.

Jackie did not wait for some other word of surprise to leave his lips. She turned and walked back towards the house, her stride long and fast. She slipped her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Allan’s number. It was getting late, and, unfortunately, they would have to cut this visit short if they were going to make it to Brooklyn in time to pick Laila up. Jackie had promised her ice cream that evening. She would never tell Allan what his brother had done to the love of his life.

He didn’t deserve to be burdened by that truth.

Chapter Sixteen

“All right, here we are.” Jack hung the last of Jackie’s paintings up on the wall of the gallery then turned, his expectant face looking for some approval.

Jackie turned to Allan, who stood next to her, staring down at her with a look of utter adoration. “Go ahead.” He urged her along, like a father sending his daughter off to school.

She smiled at him. “Well, since you’re in at least three of these, I require your opinion,” she replied as she took his hand and led her along with him.

He sucked in a deep breath. “I cannot tell you how thoroughly important that makes me feel,” he replied, before bending down to plant a kiss on her forehead.

“Come on, you lovebirds! We have an opening in 24 hours!” Jack yelled from the other side of the space.

Jackie chuckled then led him along. The two of them looked at all of her paintings, which started from her earliest ones; sketches made in art classes in high school and in between after school jobs. It then moved on to pieces that had been featured in showcases at Julliard and Tisch School of the Arts. They were all technical gods, meticulously crafted with the pen of a University and the watchful eye of a canon teacher.

Finally came her real art; her purges of pain and desperate attempts at stardom. They were pieces that reached outside of the canvas and screamed at the viewer. They were paintings that begged and tugged and poked and scratched. They were love and they were hate; rage and happiness.

They were Jackie and Laila… And Allan, together forever.

The End

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